34. Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ryan
C hristmas Eve dawned bright, beautiful, and with a massive snow dump from the day before.
Simeon had plowed continuously yesterday. Hopefully he’d maintained a way for us to get out of the house because today was the wedding day, and I was super excited. Funny, because I’d never been to a wedding before. I’d always thought of them as perfunctory and boring. But the joining of two men whom I considered friends? That sounded awesome.
My boyfriend stirred beside me and gently tugged me into his arms. He was always so careful of my chest. The one thing I’d noticed over this past week now we were back to sleeping together was how little pain I was actually in. I’d thought I’d learned to live with it—but being without the fucking thing was pretty damn sweet. “It’s Adam and Dean’s day,” I reminded Simeon.
“Mmm.” He was still super sleepy. He’d worked like a dog the past two weeks, and when he’d sent the pictures of the completed bathrooms, I’d been thrilled for him. And so damn proud. Oh, he and Gio had stripped down to skivvies and worn nothing but a towel in some of the photos. Those snaps would not be on Simeon’s website. He’d shown me on his phone, and I’d been okay with both the eye candy and the electronics. Slowly, I was becoming more and more comfortable with little bits of tech.
One day, when I’d finished an appointment with Justin out at the ranch, Angus had approached me with a serious-eyed preteen at his side. “This is my friend Kyleigh. She’s, like, one of my best friends in the world. And she reckons she can beat you at the video game.”
So I’d battled an eleven-year-old for supremacy. I’d lost—and not for lack of effort on my part. That girl had been tough to beat. I knew plenty of women gamers—some of whom put up with a lot of shit. I suggested a site to Kyleigh that she might want to check out. One I knew used to be kid-friendly and generally free of misogyny. And after I’d done that, though, I’d considered going on the site to make sure the thing was still safe for young women.
But I hadn’t. I’d eyed Simeon’s laptop all night, but hadn’t found the courage.
Nor had I found the courage to answer the question he’d asked two weeks ago. The first night I’d stayed over after finishing my rather uneventful stint as a house sitter and doggie servant. God knew, Princess Sofia lived up to her name. Friendly, playful, and a little prima donna who did not like it when I left her alone. But I knew for a fact she was abandoned regularly and survived. Such dramatics…
“I’d like you to move in with me . ”
Said after he’d dropped the bombshell that his grandparents were moving to a retirement village near downtown Mission City.
I’d driven past the place to check it out. As if I could somehow divine by looking at it whether or not it was good enough for two of my favorite people in the world.
I might’ve also used the drive to buy a Tessa Carlyle painting for the happy grooms that I’d give to them later. They’d invited us over a week ago, and by the end of the evening, I considered them friends.
Although the men had some amazing artwork, I’d spotted a bare spot on the wall where they might consider hanging the stunning painting of a mother deer and her fawn in the forest. A forest I’d come to associate with the hills north of Mission City.
I’d also stocked up on gifts for just about everyone I’d met. So yeah, I’d dipped into the first pension payment my father had sent. I’d been hesitant…but the idea of sharing my good fortune made spending the money sting less. Plus…my father was rich. And for all his…nastiness with me…he did things aboveboard. He wasn’t a slumlord. He didn’t take advantage of vulnerable people. He just knew a good deal when he saw one and made shrewd business decisions. He couldn’t possibly spend all his wealth. If I spent a minute fraction of it bringing happiness, what was wrong with that? And I hadn’t bought extravagant gifts. Just little thoughtful things to show people how grateful I was.
Grateful they were in my life.
Grateful I might one day lead a somewhat normal life.
Grateful I was alive.
“You’re t-thinking too hard.”
I scooched back against Simeon so that his morning wood brushed my ass. “You want me to do something about your hardness?”
He chuckled. “I’m o-okay. We need to g-get up.”
“I checked. The snow’s stopped and the sun’s out.”
“O-okay. But I still need to g-get up.”
“Let me give you a blow job?”
He growled as he nibbled on my neck. “N-never going to turn that down.”
We’d worked out a weird position that didn’t put stress on my chest, but still allowed me to go down on him in a way that brought us both pleasure.
After I finished him off, he snagged my cock and gave me a couple of firm tugs before I tumbled over the edge with him.
Justin’s theory about demi made so much sense that I kind of felt stupid for not seeing it earlier. But then why would I? I’d never let anyone get close enough to me. And, if I had my way, I’d never have to worry about getting close to someone else ever again.
Simeon was my person. He was the one I wanted to grow old with. To spend my life with. To hold my hand into the uncertain future before me.
I still wasn’t healed—either physically or emotionally. But even Justin was pleased with home much progress I’d made in just six weeks.
“Shower.” Simeon stroked my chin. “L-love this.”
I returned the favor, scratching his stubble. “I like this.”
He scrunched his nose. “N-no. Not for the w-wedding.” I loved the scruffy look, but I knew he felt it looked a bit unkempt. He’d been working so hard that he hadn’t taken the time to shave for the past week or so.
I’d done everything I could to support him. Which included practically moving in, taking care of Chia, and watching out for Nanny and Bops. And, because I spent so much time here, I’d nearly finished reading the series Marnie suggested. Now she was on the hunt for a couple of police procedural novels from gay authors with gay protagonists. Something I hadn’t even known existed.
Lack of imagination on my part.
“W-will you shower with m-me?” Simeon asked this question each day. And each day I politely declined. He’d seen my scars when he’d helped me change a Henley or sweater, a dozen limited glimpses, but I still wore a shirt in bed. He didn’t touch me there, didn’t focus on them. In the shower, being full naked had felt too vulnerable.
Carpe diem .
A favorite expression of one of my comrades-in-arms. Apparently there’d been an American movie with an English teacher, and the instructor had taught the line to his students, and…I’d lost the thread at that point. I kept meaning to look up which movie. But that would mean getting on a computer to search. Or I could ask Marnie. Anyway, and then I might want to watch the movie. Which would involve watching television. And reminding me of my friend. My dead friend.
None of that appealed to me.
Carpe diem .
“Yeah, I’d love it.”
Simeon’s eyes widened in evident surprise. He swept in for a hard kiss. “T-thank you.”
“It’s just a shower. With my scrawny—”
He cut me off with another kiss. A request, I supposed, that I not put myself down. He was big about that. Asking quietly I not be so negative about myself. Well, I’d turned the tables on him more than once. I was certain he hadn’t realized how easily he denigrated himself either.
Something we both had to work on.
In the shower, though, I sort of lost my nerve. Turning to keep my chest out of view, I handed him the loofah. “Wash my back?” I knew he wouldn’t touch anywhere he wasn’t invited to.
He grinned. “You b-bet.” And he did. With thoroughness. And he might’ve felt it necessary to clean my crack as well.
We had yet to discuss whether we were going to move beyond suck and jerk sessions as we called them.
I certainly wanted to…but I’d never push him. If things remained exactly as they were for the rest of our lives, I’d be fine with that. This relationship truly wasn’t about sex. Our time together was a celebration of a meeting of the minds. Of shared goals. Mutual respect. Any sex was just a bonus. Although an awesome bonus I wouldn’t mind expanding.
He pressed a kiss to my shoulder as the water cascaded down from the waterfall low-flow showerhead he’d installed a couple of years ago. “C-can I jerk you?”
I chuckled. “Like I’d ever say no to that.”
And within moments I forgot about my discomfort with my scars as he jacked me off to completion.
Then, of course, I had to return the favor.
I was big on equality.
Somehow we managed to get clean, dry, dressed, and upstairs for Nanny’s waffles.
She pointed to the clock.
Simeon blushed.
I guffawed. “We were busy in the shower.”
His blush deepened.
Nanny beamed.
Bops chuckled.
We ate delicious waffles.
Near the end of the meal, Nanny cocked her head. “I thought you were going to a wedding today.”
Simeon nodded. “W-we are.”
“Dean and Adam’s.” My contribution.
Another nod. Apparently Simeon had brought the couple around in early fall to meet his grandparents. Pretty much at his grandparents’ insistence.
He’d thought they were maybe being nosy.
I now could see they were just concerned he might be lonely when they left. Having friends just a stone’s throw away—in relative North Mission City terms—was important to them.
“Then why are you wearing plaid?” Bops glanced back and forth between the two of us. “What’s wrong with dress shirts?”
“And you’re wearing jeans.” Nanny tisked. “Really. What are you thinking?”
Simeon grinned.
I laughed. “That we’re having a lumberjack contest. Dean’s idea, so don’t go thinking Ravi was up to something nefarious.” I smoothed down the fabric. “I asked Simeon not to shave. Thought that might give him a better chance.”
Nanny laughed. “Oh, my dear. Simeon doesn’t like a beard.”
I grinned back. “I know.”
She scrutinized us both, turning to me first. “I like your red-and-blue stripes—that works.” She stared at Simeon. “Goldenrod? Seriously?”
He glared at me.
I blinked, then batted my eyelashes—trying for innocent and likely failing miserably. “I think it matches his hair.”
Simeon feathered his hair in just that way. He really had no idea how fucking sexy I found it.
Bops chuckled. “Simeon and vanity are two words that don’t go together.”
“No, they don’t.” My love was across the table from me. Otherwise, I would’ve pecked his cheek, or grabbed his hand under the table.
Twin spots of color appeared on his cheeks. “No f-fair.”
Nanny snagged his hand. “We only tease the ones we love.” She eyed me. “I suspect he’s the same.”
“I am.” Easy assurance. I’d never said mean things about people growing up—because I’d been the butt of so many cruel jokes and comments.
“Well, the wedding photos should be interesting.” She nudged Simeon. “Take a few snaps for me. Especially one of the grooms. Two handsome men.”
That she spoke of Adam being handsome was a reminder that beauty was more than skin deep. Some people might find his scars hideous. Nanny didn’t even factor them into her calculations of his character. He was a good man. He loved his fiancé. He was kind to Simeon. Those were the attributes that made him attractive.
And she’d raised Simeon the same way. To have those same beliefs.
He met my gaze. “Y-yes, Nanny, I will take photos.”
“Oh, let’s do one of the two of you before you go. Like your first date.”
“Oh, our first date was at Library Square Pub. After my interview with Jake.”
Nanny and Bops had watched the interview when it aired, later telling me how moving they’d found it.
Those two spots of color reappeared on Simeon’s cheeks, and he wouldn’t meet my gaze.
Probably recalling the broken cock discussion. I grinned unrepentantly because if anyone should be embarrassed it was me, and fuck that noise.
He continued to blush.
“Well, sounds like you had a lovely time. I can’t say I’ve ever been to Library Square. The last time we went to the opera, we ate at Brown’s Social House. On the plaza at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre? I miss the opera.”
“If I can swing tickets, would you let Simeon and me escort you?”
Nanny blinked. “Well… We stopped going because driving into Vancouver because such a chore.”
“I d-didn’t know that.” Simeon frowned. “I would have d-driven you.”
I pointed to his phone. “When’s the next show?”
He whipped it out, and within a minute was showing the screen to Nanny.
She grinned. “Oh, I love that one.”
“Then you shall have tickets.” Heedless of how tactless this was, I yanked out my credit card and shoved it across the table.
Simeon gawked.
I shrugged. “I wanted to get them something they’d like, but I had no idea. She’s just told me what she wants. Can you find four seats? If not together then two pairs?”
“Uh…” Simeon frowned.
Oh shit. He’s never bought tickets. Goddamn I’m such an asshole.
I snagged the credit card back and held out my hand.
Slowly, Simeon handed the phone over.
Pushing down the panic, I checked the website. “Oh, I used to have an account with these guys. I wonder if it’ll accept my password or if it will require two-factor authentication.” Which would mean resurrecting my email and the thousands of unread messages. But for Nanny and Bops, I’d do it. “Oh, great, I’m in.” I tapped a few times. “How is the twentieth of January? That’s a Friday. Oh, wait. If we go on the Thursday night, I can get us four seats together in the dress circle. Only two steps.”
Could Nanny and Bops do steps? They never left this floor, so I had no idea.
Bops guffawed. “We can do the stairs all the way down to Simeon’s if we have to.” He held up his arms in a muscle man pose. “We’re strong.”
Nanny chuckled. “Well, maybe more in mind than body. Yes, dear, we can do a few steps. Oh, I love the idea of us all going together. We’ll need to rest up, but what a wonderful night that will be.”
I didn’t wonder out loud how many more of those there might be. Nanny and Bops hardly left the house, and a night in Vancouver would be taxing for them. But hopefully a night they’d remember. “We can park at the theatre, and I bet if we go early enough, we can have dinner at Brown’s.”
“Oh, lovely.” Nanny beamed. “I won’t ask about cost because that would be gauche of me, but Bops and I can buy dinner.”
Gauche. But dad wasn’t saying it about me. No, Nanny was saying she wouldn’t be that way by asking. She was using it in a teasing manner. Which took the sting out of hearing the word that so had the power to wound me.
I entered my credit card information then stopped. “Oh, damn.”
Bops straightened. “What?”
“I should change the account address so nothing ever goes to my dad’s place.” I smacked my forehead. “Do you know, I can’t remember the street number of my apartment building?” I tried to remember how to open another tab to search.
“Oh, just use here.” Nanny rhymed off the address.
For a full ten seconds I just sat with that.
To her, this was simple. This was my home.
Simeon confided his grandparents hoped I’d move in.
I hadn’t really absorbed that, though. I thought maybe they worried he might be lonely. Or they hoped I could contribute to rent. Or something else in the abstract.
But no. She was saying I was home.
I blinked back the tears as my eyes blurred.
Bops handed me a napkin. “Don’t you have to finish that transaction in a set period of time or you lose the tickets?”
“Uh, yeah.” I sniffed as I wiped my eyes.
“Well damn, man, you don’t want to lose the tickets.”
His quiet way of letting me know no one had an issue with me nearly bawling like a baby at the kitchen table on one ordinary Christmas Eve morning.
And, in that instant, I saw my future. Nanny and Bops wouldn’t always be here, of course. Chia wouldn’t always be on her bed in the kitchen that she haunted when Nanny was cooking and liable to sneak her a little treat.
Simeon might not always be young and blond. I might have a few white hairs of my own.
But I was home.
“Yeah, I’ll nab those tickets.”
And perhaps finally embrace my future.