Chapter 21
Natalie
Why were we wandering around the shops at Christmas Village? It wasn’t like we could afford anything.
I stood in one of the small stores, my arms crossed, half glaring at a display tree filled with wooden ornaments. Little trees, chestnuts, squirrels, stockings, bears. Some had red buffalo-plaid bows tied on top. Others had the year or cheerful Christmas greetings.
Happy Holidays! Seasons Greetings! Merry Christmas!
What was so merry about it, anyway?
And why had Nina veered in the direction of the shops instead of going straight to the tree lot?
Christmas Village was cute, I could admit that.
It was like walking through the North Pole in a Christmas movie.
Lights, wreaths, candy canes, elves peeking out from behind trees.
Shops made to look like gingerbread houses.
And an endless supply of ornaments, decorations, and every kind of sugary treat imaginable.
But we could barely afford a tree. Why tempt ourselves—and Annabel—with all the glitter and sparkle and cinnamon and sugar?
“Isn’t this cute?” Nina asked, holding up a red-and-white candy cane ornament.
I gave it a half-hearted glance and shrugged. “Sure.”
“What’s wrong? You look mad. Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Are you sure? You and I both get hangry, and it’s not pretty. Let’s go get a snack.”
Leaning closer, I lowered my voice to a whisper. “With what money? In case you forgot, I’m out of work, and my car is totaled.”
“You have insurance.”
“But I don’t know what it will actually cover. And did you forget the giant fans in the basement? And the fact that our furnace might die at any moment?”
“Wow.” She hung the ornament back on the tree. “Someone needs a little more Christmas spirit.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need Christmas anything. I need to go back to work.”
“I know things are tough, but why are you stressing about it right now? At this moment, there’s nothing you can do.” She glanced around the displays. “Annabel, careful with that.”
She was right. I didn’t need to be grumpy about our financial situation when I could be enjoying an afternoon with my family.
But it wasn’t our financial situation that was bothering me. Not really.
The fact that Jensen had declined my very casual invitation to join us should not have hurt my feelings. We weren’t dating. He wasn’t my boyfriend. A night of mind-blowing sex did not mean we suddenly had to do everything together.
It was probably better that he’d stayed behind. Not just because he was obviously busy with something more important. Because my heart was as tangled as a bundle of Christmas tree lights.
His “no” had hurt. And it shouldn’t have.
We left the shop and moved on down the path. A few snowflakes drifted down, enough to catch the glimmer of Christmas lights and sparkle in the air. “Sleigh Ride” played in the background, and people wandered, shopped, sipped hot cocoa, and feasted on sugar cookies and gingerbread.
“Where to next?” Nina asked.
“Let’s go see Horace!” Annabel exclaimed
“Again? We saw Horace last time we were here. Don’t you want to go look at trees?”
“Horace first. Please?”
Nina smiled at her. “Since you asked so nicely.”
They walked ahead, hand in hand, and I followed at a slow shuffle. As much as I didn’t want to subject Nina and Annabel to my sour mood, I couldn’t quite muster the enthusiasm to keep up with them.
One of Christmas Village’s main attractions was its reindeer farm. As fascinating—and festive—as the animals were, Annabel had always loved Horace, the guard donkey.
We found him in the large enclosure. Dark brown with a white muzzle, he had big black eyes and, like all donkeys, large teeth. I stayed back from the fence while Nina and Annabel approached.
“Hi, Horace!” Annabel waved.
The donkey brayed, making Annabel laugh. He stomped through the snow and came closer.
Annabel’s glee that the donkey had apparently noticed her and was coming to say hello cut through the edges of my bad mood. I even smiled a little, watching her hold still, as if that would tempt him closer.
“Hello, darling.”
Gasping, I spun around to come face-to-face with Jensen.
“You scared me.”
My hurt feelings flared, and I was about to snap at him. But I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze, and his expression was like a warm fire on a cold day. It reminded me of the way he’d looked at the hospital, without quite so much concern.
No cocky grin. No smolder. Just him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, without preamble. “When you asked me to come, I was distracted and stressed. I immediately regretted declining your offer, and would love to join you, if you’ll still have me.”
A part of me still wanted to fire back. To stay angry. Because anger was easier. It was a shield. And maybe if he hadn’t been looking down at me with so much vulnerability in his eyes, I would have.
“I was probably more disappointed than I ought to be,” I said, my voice quiet. It was hard to admit. “I know we’re not…”
He gently caressed my cheek. “I’m not sure what we are. Is that all right to admit?”
Leaning in to his hand, I nodded. “I don’t know either.”
“Here’s what I do know.” His thumb caressed my cheek. “I like you. Quite a lot, in fact.”
That made me smile. “I like you too.”
“So we go from there?”
“Yeah, we go from there.”
His eyes flicked toward Nina and Annabel, and one corner of his mouth lifted. Leaning in, he kissed me—soft, but with a brush of his tongue that sent a rush of heat through me.
A chorus of childish squeals pulled me back to reality. Another little girl in a thick winter coat rushed toward Annabel. They collided in an exuberant embrace.
I didn’t have to see the parent approaching to know who it was. Nina’s face said it all.
It was Dylan, her hot single dad.
He was cute, with dark blond hair peeking out beneath his hat and a nice smile—especially with the way he smiled at my sister.
“Hi,” Nina said. “I didn’t know you’d be here today.”
“You said you might be picking up a tree,” Dylan said. “I thought I’d see if you need help.”
Jensen met my eyes and gave me a slight nod. He clearly approved of Dylan’s move.
“Thank you.”
I cleared my throat to grab my sister’s attention.
Her cheeks flushed. “Oh. Sorry. Dylan, this is my sister, Natalie, and her, um, friend, Jensen.”
I lifted my hand in a wave. “Hi.”
Jensen stepped in to shake his hand. “Pleasure.”
“Nice to meet you.” He gestured to the little girl. “This is my daughter, Lucy. She’s in Annabel’s class.”
“We’ve heard,” I said.
Nina shot me a look.
“We were about to head over to the tree lot,” Nina said. “Do you want to join us?”
The last vestiges of my bad mood evaporated when I saw the way Dylan looked at my sister. He smiled like her invitation to walk across Christmas Village to look at trees was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
That man was smitten. And I was there for it.
“Let’s do it,” Dylan said. “Come on, Lucy Lou Who. We’re going to go with Annabel to find a tree.”
The girls held hands and skipped ahead while Dylan fell in step beside Nina. Jensen and I walked behind, and I watched with growing anticipation as Dylan almost held Nina’s hand.
Then Jensen surprised me by clasping mine.
I glanced up at him as we walked. He squeezed my hand. I squeezed back. And somehow, it was the most intimate thing he could have done.
We followed the path toward the tree farm, letting Nina and Dylan get ahead of us while they tried to keep up with the girls. Finally, Dylan slipped Nina’s hand in his.
“About time,” Jensen muttered.
I laughed. “I know, right? Come on, Dylan. She likes you. Make a move.”
“I was about to stop them and tell him to quit being so hesitant.”
“I’m glad it didn’t come to that. They’re both single parents, though. They have reason to be cautious.”
“Fair enough. He seems like a decent bloke. Do we like him?”
“I don’t know him very well, but he seems like a good guy. I think we can like him.”
“If he hurts your sister, I’ll have to ruin him.”
“Not before I do.”
He met my eyes, and we nodded once. We understood each other.
Was that what it was like to have a partner? Not just a date, or even a boyfriend, but a companion? Because dating and boyfriends didn’t hold much appeal anymore. I’d been burned one too many times. But what if there was something else? A different way a relationship could be.
Would it be possible to have that with Jensen? Or was I kidding myself? Hoping for something that could never be?
I didn’t know.
Besides, I was getting ahead of myself. I liked him, and he liked me. For the time being, it was enough.
I knew he’d stay for Christmas. After that? I didn’t know what to expect. And maybe for the first time in my life, I was okay with that. No plan. No certainty. Just the possibility of… something.
Maybe even a new adventure.