Chapter 4 Nicole #2
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. “I know she puts her entire heart and soul into that place.” He gave a wry sigh. “Doesn’t always make room for anything else.”
She had to remember that the issues they’d faced went two ways. Dad loved his job more than anything—but Mom could put running the lodge above everything, too.
For a beat, neither of them spoke, then Nicole leaned in, knowing this was her moment.
“Dad, I think you could help, if you wanted to.”
He looked up. “Absolutely. How much does she need?”
She shook her head. “Mom wouldn’t take your money.”
“Then you take it and give it to her. Don’t tell her where it came from.”
“I don’t keep secrets from her,” she said. “Except maybe…well, we could surprise her, and I think I have an idea for how you might help us generate income.”
Slowly lowering his fork, he stared at her, the slightest smile tugging. “Why do I think I’m going to hate this?”
She laughed. “Because you might. But hear me out, okay?”
“’Kay.”
“Come back, just for the season, and run the sleigh rides again.”
He drew back, surprise in his eyes.
“We could advertise the Snowberry Sleigh all over the place and I know it would bring in more business. Families absolutely loved that, and no other resort or lodge has anything like it and, come on, Dad. No one, and I do mean no one, on Earth can run that sleigh like you do. You made it such an experience! Flying Jack and the Snowberry Sleigh! It’s an event, it’s a vibe, it’s an—”
“Insane idea,” he finished, no smile on his face.
She huffed, out a breath after her speech. “Why?”
“Because…” He shook his head and stared at his meatloaf again. “I can’t go back, Nic. And at Christmas? I can’t.”
“Why not?” she pressed.
“Because Cindy Starling doesn’t want to look at me.”
She cocked her head. “She never changed her name back, Dad. She’s Cindy Kessler, your wife of twenty years. And what makes you think she doesn’t want to look at you?”
He shifted in his seat. “Because we ended badly.”
“Ten years ago,” Nicole said. “And if you showed up to save the lodge and help us fill every empty room for the month of December? She’d forgive you.”
“And then give up on me again.”
She stared at him, a million emotions swirling through her. It mattered to him more than she realized. She chose her words carefully.
“Um, Dad, I think it was the other way around. You are the one who left. Midlife crisis and a fat ESPN gig. Remember?”
“I left because she gave up on us,” he said quietly. “She didn’t think she could compete with my job—”
“She couldn’t,” Nicole said. “No one could.”
He swallowed, a storm of emotions in his eyes, even though he was silent.
“So, is that a hard pass?” she guessed, feeling disappointment thud in her chest.
“You’re right, Nic, ten years have passed,” he said. “And every day during those ten years, I’ve questioned…what went wrong.”
“You wanted to travel,” she whispered. “She wanted you home.” Was it more complicated than that?
“She gave up too fast, Nic. And, you know, I’m not surprised she’s talking about selling the lodge. She’s a little bit of a…”
“Quitter?” she filled in when his voice wavered.
“She likes to fix things,” he said. “But if it doesn’t work right away, she’ll quit.”
Nicole couldn’t argue that about her mother. It was true.
“And me?” he lifted his brows. “I’m a fighter, maybe even to a fault. I refused to give up, even after my accident.”
Nicole tried to swallow a bite of chicken, but it stuck in her throat. “Well, that didn’t happen to me after my accident.”
For a long time, he was quiet, picking at some mashed potatoes. “Yours was different, Nic,” he said. “I broke bones. You…almost died.”
She exhaled, the memory of the blackness and horror she felt deep in seven feet of darkness and freezing cold, snow in her mouth, her eyes, her lungs…the sound of deathly quiet and her thumping, racing heart.
No, that wasn’t an accident. It was a trauma.
“And that’s why I don’t ski,” she said. “Does that make me a quitter, too, Dad?”
His eyes misted as he reached across the table and put his hand on hers. “I’m sorry I made you go down Empire. I’m sorry I pushed you and—”
“You also saved my life,” she said, turning her hand to squeeze his fingers. “Because you’re not a quitter and you dug through snow and screamed for help and pulled me out alive.”
For what felt like an eternity, he stared at her, and she could practically see the dark memory replay in his mind.
“Any chance in heaven or hell you’d ever give me a shot at making it up to you? Hit the slopes and try again?”
She smiled. “No, but I know that won’t stop you from asking.”
He lifted a shoulder. “It’s not too late to try skiing, Nic, or, you know, see someone if you wanted to talk about it.”
She shook her head, never wanting to go into therapy after the accident. Her parents had talked about it, but even at nine, she knew she had no desire to re-live what had happened to her on that mountain. Maybe that had been a mistake, but it felt like the right choice to her.
“Do you ever miss skiing?” her father asked.
“Yes, sometimes I do.” Why lie? She’d loved skiing…until she didn’t.
He angled his head. “It’s just that you were so dang good, Nic. Your timing and core strength and speed—”
“Lots of kids have that,” she said.
“Not with that reaction time or center of gravity,” he countered. “Not with that amazing hand-eye or your focus. And certainly not with that…fearlessness.”
She snorted. “Count that one out. The very sight of my old skis can make me tremble with terror.”
He closed his eyes with a grunt. “You could get over that, Nic. You could get back on skis. You’re only twenty-eight, you could have a lifetime of skiing ahead of you. So many glorious moments, just you and the mountain and—”
She held her hand out. “Are you coming to help us save Snowberry or not?”
Jack leaned back, visibly startled by the abrupt change of subject. “Nicole—”
“You don’t have to live at the lodge, though God knows we have the space. Just…show up and do what you do best. Tell your crazy stories, make all the guests laugh and feel enchanted with that Jack Kessler Magic. Make it feel like Christmas again.”
He laughed at the description. “That was my first job after I was done skiing, you know.”
“I know. That’s how you met Mom.”
He leaned in, his eyes gleaming. “I took her on the first ride I gave,” he said. “And I kissed her right in the middle of Bluebell Crossing that night. Didn’t even make it to the old Aspen View trail and I had to have that girl in a liplock.”
She was touched that the names for the landmarks were still so easy for him to recall, but how much he still cared for Mom actually made her a little dizzy.
“Well, then maybe you need to get back there and…” Kiss her again. “Head up to Bluebell and see how beautiful it is,” she said instead.
He sighed again, obviously a little lost in the past, just enough for Nicole to think…she might have a real shot at this.
“What else are you going to do for the next five or six weeks?” she asked.
“Well, for one thing, I’m going to visit my mother with you.”
“Tomorrow,” she said. “Then we can go home, er, back. And you can ski Deer Valley.”
His eyes flashed.
“You’d like that, right, Dad?”
Jack went still. “I’d…love it,” he murmured.
For a moment, the café buzzed around them—silverware clinking, chairs scraping, a young couple laughing behind them. Jack stared out the window, lost in thought.
“I’m not sure how it would make me feel to see her again,” he said, his voice low.
Nicole blinked against the sudden sting in her eyes. “Neither of you ever moved on.”
He smiled without much joy. “Sometimes that’s just how it works.”
They fell into silence, finishing their food, both deep in thought. Nicole’s throat ached, and she could see her plan slipping through her fingers.
After a beat, he said, “I might consider it but…”
She blinked. “But what?”
“I have to be back on Christmas for my mother’s brunch.”
“But if you ran the rides through Christmas Eve…”
He angled his head with a “don’t you get it” look. She didn’t.
“It would mean walking out on Christmas…again.”
Oh. She nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Although if the sleigh rides brought in enough revenue to save December, I’m pretty sure Mom would forgive the repeat of history.”
He leaned back, looking at her and thinking. “Then I might consider it.”
Her breath caught. “Seriously?”
“On one…”—he held up a finger—“condition.”
“What? Anything. Stay somewhere fabulous? Fly First Class? Pick your own horse—Copper’s still pretty stubborn, so we might have to rent one. Tell me what it is, Dad, and I’ll make it happen.”
“You let me teach you how to ski again.”
Nicole felt the blood drain from her head, her stomach dropping at the very thought of sliding down a slope. “No.”
“Not fly down Centennial,” he said. “Just get back on the planks and see how it feels.” He sipped coffee like it was no big deal. “We’ll go slow. Groomers only. Pizza wedge and all that.”
She opened her mouth to say no again, but nothing came out.
“Nic.” He reached over and put his hand over hers. “I want to help you overcome that fear. I would never let anything bad happen, I promise. But you’re missing out on something wonderful. And if you don’t get back on the slopes, it could haunt you for the rest of your life.”
“Could? It already has.”
“All the more reason to try again. And, honestly, Nic, I would give anything to make it up to you. Let me teach you how…”
“To not be a quitter?” she suggested.
He smiled. “You’re not a quitter. I mean, not if you put on a pair of skis and slide down one trail with me. Green. Bunny. You can take Cora’s Loop for all I care.”
She chuckled at the mention of the tiny hill at Snowberry Lodge that her Grandma Cora used to take her on when she was about two years old.
“I’m not ready, Dad.”
“You don’t have to be. But I’ll come to Snowberry, I’ll do the sleigh rides, I’ll dress up like Santa, if that’s what it takes. If you let me help you reclaim something that used to make you feel so happy and free. There’s no joy like skiing, Nic, and you know it.”
“None?” she asked on a laugh.
“Well, love,” he said with a sad smile. “The old kiss at Bluebell Crossing.”
Her heart practically stopped. He did still love Mom. And she…yeah, Mom never stopped regretting her divorce.
If Dad came back for a month and they rekindled that romance? Wouldn’t Nicole do anything for that? Saving Snowberry would just be icing on the cake.
She stared at him for a long time, weighing the pros and cons. The lodge, her parents, a miracle Christmas versus…ice-cold fear.
“Let’s go see Grammy tomorrow and go home on Monday,” she whispered as the plan formed. “You can stay with me Monday night and we’ll surprise everyone Tuesday morning.”
A slow smile pulled. “Surprise your mother, you mean. Instead of getting talked out of this insanity.”
She laughed. “I think we want the element of surprise on our side, Dad. Is that a yes?” she asked, feeling hope rise. “You’ll come to Snowberry for the whole month?”
“You’ll put on skis and do one day at DV with me?”
Finally, with her heart pounding and her palms sweating, she turned her hand and threaded her fingers through his.
She nodded. “Yes.”
He threw his head back and pumped a victory fist, making her realize just how much this meant to him. Then he looked at her, faking a frown. “Start with Centennial?”
She smacked his still-raised fist. “Shut up.”