Chapter 41
CHAPTER 41
CLOVER
G riffin sneaks us in the back door of the old Victorian pack house. We had talked on the short walk home and decided it would be nice to shower after our workout before meeting up with everyone and seeing what was going on.
I enjoyed the barre class this morning. It had been fun with Griffin making comments and groaning through it. It had also stretched out some of the soreness still in my body from last night. Working out had let me gather my thoughts and get out of my own head a little too.
Griffin had suggested coming back a few days a week and doing classes. He couldn’t do all of them with me, but it would be a good thing to get me out of the house. Since it was a short walk away I felt safe enough doing it too. It made me feel like I was starting to build my life here and my independence.
“We shouldn’t shower together. I have zero control when it comes to you, baby weed. If I go into that shower we’re going to end up never coming downstairs.” His lips kiss mine and I want to tell him to stay, but knew we would have to deal with everything going on.
The sooner we dealt with it all, the sooner we could go back to getting closer together.
I shower quickly, my heart hammering in my chest as I change into a pair of jeans and a hoodie Apollo had given me with the Otter’s symbol on the front. Even though it wasn’t his clothing it still felt nice to wear one of the gifts my Alpha gave me.
Heading out in the hall, I stop at Griffin’s room to wait for him to be ready. I don’t want to head downstairs without him. My nerves are starting to climb up again and I’m worried about everything going on.
Griffin opens his door, smiling when he sees me waiting for him. He is wearing a gray university t-shirt with a pair of black joggers. The moccasin slippers he wears around the house covering his feet. It is unfair how good he looked in simple clothing.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m trying so hard to be a good Alpha right now. I only have so much control..” He groans out, rubbing his face before tugging at my hand to follow him downstairs.
The living room is over filled with people. The police must have finished up, which was nice to see them not in our home for once, but there was still Apollo’s parents, Marcus, and the rest of our pack.
Our pack?
Was I really part of their pack? Why did that thought warm me up so much? Was I really thinking about it and wanting to bond with them?
Yes .
It felt like we were meant to be together. Something pulled me to all of them. Pack Mathers was special to me and I knew that this was where I belonged. My stomach twisted at this. Overwhelming worry crashing into me as I thought about how getting comfortable in a situation hadn’t been good for me lately.
Was this another thing that was going to be taken away?
Griffin threw his arm around me, hugging me close so that I could feel him and breathe him in. He was trying to give me strength that he knew I needed.
Everyone looked up as we entered the space, but I was just looking at Marcus. I wanted to take care of him. Give him a hug and make sure that he is okay after what that cruel pack had done to him. Even after everything that happened it was important to me to still try to be kind.
Earlier, I had gotten too caught up in my emotions and now it was time for me to be the friend I had needed all the times I had been alone.
“Marcus.” His eyes lifted, red from crying and I rushed over to him, wrapping him up in my arms without giving it a second thought.
“I’m so sorry, lemon drop. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Everything just spun out of control and I ruined it all. I am so sorry.” His tears wet my shoulder as I hugged him tighter to me.
Poor Marcus.
I knew what it was like wanting to be loved. He just wanted to be in the best situation possible and now everything was going wrong.
“No one deserves to be hurt. I’m so sorry, Marcus.” I whispered, rocking him gently.
He pulls away, his golden eyes shining as he wipes his tears away from his eyes with the back of his hand. When I first met him his eyes had captivated me. Now they looked bloodshot and filled with pain.
How could so much change so quickly?
“When I posted on Olife at the hotel, they must have seen the post of us. Everyone knows about Pack Weaver and how much money that they have. I was so impressed with the flowers they sent to me and how they were trying to court me. I broke up with the others and got caught in their trap. I didn’t realize what they wanted you until after the hockey game. I mean, I thought you were cute before everything. So I can’t say I was completely uninterested. I wasn’t going to steal you from your pack. Everything just got out of hand. They were talking about how nice it would be for two Omega’s to be able to lean on each other. And all I could think about was how you smelled so nice and how we had gotten along so well. I thought about how lonely I was and how if there were two of us in a pack we’d never be lonely again. I’m sorry, lemon drop. I’m so sorry.”
He sobbed again and I pulled him back against me.
Griffin looked annoyed that he had called me cute, but Griffin was over possessive about pretty much everything. He had gotten mad when the barista asked my name for my drink earlier this week. Growling at the person serving our drinks like they had done some great slight against us.
“You’re okay, Marcus. My pack will make sure you’re safe. Do you want to sleep for a little bit?”
That’s a problem.
I’ve taken over the guest room so there really isn’t a place to put the Omega. He needs his nest and some place where he can feel safe.
The idea of having another Omega in my space, after the night I shared with my pack the night before, made me very uncomfortable. I’m unsure of what to do when McKinley steps in.
“I just changed the sheets on my bed. I can crash with Apollo. Let me walk you both upstairs.” He looks Marcus up and down, “Apollo has a bunch of unworn stuff the team gave him. Let’s get you changed.”
Marcus squeezes my hand as I walk him upstairs, Mama Joy coming around me, and touches my arm.
“I’ll take care of this, Clover baby. This has been a lot for everyone. I can settle him in while you go talk to everyone.” She touches McKinley’s arm at the top of the stairs, leading Marcus away from us.
We watch them go into the room and both of us seem to let out a breath at the same time.
Mickey turns to me, his eyes looking me up and down like he wants to finally check in on me.
I’m calmer now. I feel better about everything that happened. I’m not going to go as far as to say that I love working out.
I don’t.
I did like spending time with Griffy and laughing. That was something that I could enjoy a lot. He had made things light when they were heavy. I also liked trying something new and pushing myself. I would definitely be doing that more.
“This was not how I wanted this morning to go.” He steps closer to me, looking like he’s afraid that I’m going to deny him. Apollo must have said something about how I wouldn’t let him kiss me this morning.
An arm wraps around me as he tugs me close to him, hugging me tightly against his body, and breathing me in. It’s like he’s been waiting to touch me.
“Hey, little omega.” He rocks me against him, stealing a moment for us to share, “How are you feeling today? Did Griffin take it easy on you this morning?”
I love that he’s concerned. How he checks in to take care of me. How he holds me close to him like I’m the most treasured thing in his life.
I love how he doesn’t have to say it to me, but I know that he loves me.
“Yeah, Mickey, I’m fine.” He nods but doesn’t stop holding me tight against him.
“You know we had to take care of him? It was just because he needed us to help him. We had to do it. It doesn’t mean that-”
“I know.”
I do know. I really honestly know.
“We’re going to have a pack meeting when you’re ready, Mick. Is Marcus all set?” Apollo’s voice cuts in and I step out from Mickey’s arms. I miss the warmth of him instantly, but Apollo’s words caught me off guard.
A pack meeting?
The way he had said Mick’s name and excluded me makes me feel sick. I had thought that I was part of them. That I had given them a part of me and now that I was even more a part of them that before.
Had I been wrong?
Blood rushes from my face and I feel sick. I had read this whole situation wrong. What a fool I had been. Giving them so much and for what? To be excluded from a conversation because I didn't belong. I didn't belong anywhere.
Rushing down the stairs, I pass everyone sitting in the living room. The tears are blurring my vision as I move. My heart is beating so fast as I think about how today is not what I expected it to be. I can hear Apollo and Mickey close behind me as I rush away from them.
“Clover-”
“Cherry Girl-”
“Baby Weed-”
I take off running. I just need to get away from everyone and have a second to myself.
Just a second to breathe.
I don’t know how I manage to get away from everyone. It could be that I had sneakers on and no one was expecting to have to chase me down the street. It could be that I just caught them all off guard with my sudden outburst of emotions. It could be that they don’t care enough to chase after me.
I realize, after I’m deep into the campus, I don’t have my phone or wallet with me. So I’m sure that they all love that there is no way to find or contact me.
Luckily it’s only a little chilly so I can walk around without freezing because I hadn’t grabbed a coat.
This needs to be my time to think. To finally not be surrounded by people and just let myself figure out what is going on in my life; things have been moving and going on so much lately. I feel like I’m watching things go by without actually living the moments.
Part of me is terrified by it all and the other half is exhilarated that I get to do these new things.
Maybe, I’ve never experienced happiness. This is why whenever I get closer to being happy I can’t accept it.
Turning onto campus, I head to the library. I know they have quiet areas that are restricted to Omega’s only. It gives people a safe space to have a moment to themselves.
Oh beans and biscuits.
I need several hours of quiet moments.
My whole life has been filled with solitude. Now, I feel like this is the first time I’ve been alone in a long time.
The door groans slightly as I slip inside. No one seems to have thought to be at the library on a pretty Autumn Sunday mid-morning.
The librarian looks up, smiles at me, before going back to look at her computer without another glance.
The lights are low as I head in the back, ducking through the stacks of materials and headed towards where they have these soft beanbags. I have only been here once and hadn’t really had time to come back and appreciate the space.
Dropping onto the soft peach colored chair, I let out a soft huff before closing my eyes and covering my eyes. I want darkness and calm.
They wanted a pack meeting. I thought that I was their Omega. Had last night meant nothing to them? Had they all played me? Had I given up something to men who didn’t care about me?
No .
Griffin had tried to cheer me up this morning. McKinley had held me in his arms like I mattered.
Apollo had said there was a pack meeting and excluded me.
I whine, rolling over onto my side. My face is buried in the beanbag chair. Thankful that they made sure to clean and deodorize these often. I think if I had to smell other people right now it would give me a headache.
I’m so stressed out that my nose is picking up everything. Over sensitive from the volatile emotions ebbing through me. I groan at the scent of lilacs burning my nose.
The scent makes my stomach turn as I try to curl deeper into a ball.
“Aren’t I lucky? Finding a Clover all alone.”
My stomach knots up at the sound of the female voice. I hadn’t been imagining that scent in my state of panic. No, it was from Jennifer from Pack Weaver.
Our eyes met and she tilts her head smiling at me in a way that is anything but friendly.
“Well, it seems that your pack made a dire mistake losing sight of you. Good for me though. Bryce is going to be very excited about finding you after losing his other toy. Now, be a darling and get up. The Alpha’s are already on their way here.” She sneers it at me, my stomach dropping at her words.
What have I done? What mess have I gotten into now?
Jennifer steps close to me and sniffs. Her mouth turning into a sneer as she looks down a me.
“Oh, you stupid bitch! You slept with them? You’ve ruined it now. Bryce is not going to like that at all. He wanted you pure. Now you’re just like any other Omega!”
Gross .
I hate that she called me that word. It’s terrible to use. Her comment about me sleeping with McKinley hits its target. I feel her words like they’re coming from my Grammy.
The way that my worth was held in my purity. When I had presented as an Omega, everyone kept saying how I was going to be unclean now. Sex was such a negative topic and now it was being highlighted in that negative light again.
“Get the fuck up.” Her hand reaches for my hair, yanking at me and making me groan in pain from the way she’s gripping me.
“Let her go!” The Alpha bark makes me whimper.
It’s Orion, glaring at me with his slate colored eyes. He sneers when Jennifer looks at him, bending down beside me and pushing my hair away from my face.
His family is just as well off as Bryce’s. That old money running through their connections. Which is probably how they keep avoiding trouble.
I mean he’s named after this town which his family founded. They did have a slight fall from grace which may be why they’re Pack Weaver.
“Oh you bad girl, always running away from the things that are best for you. You’re the type that always has to learn the hard way. Terrible way to live, doll.” He strokes down my face, leaning in to scent me.
He chuckles darkly, shaking his head.
“You really are a stupid little thing. Bryce is going to be furious. Me? I like my dolls broken in. Means I can go harder with my toy before it breaks.” His scent burns my nose as he stays close to me, “They do always break, though.”
He stands up and sighs as he looks at me. Without seeming to think about it his hand forms a fist and flies towards my face, knocking me out.