Chapter Ten
Sloane
I’d never enjoyed a car ride to the base as much as I did with Ashley in the passenger seat chatting away with her observations about life. Her letters really had been genuine because having a conversation with her was just like reading one of her letters.
She was utterly endearing.
As we got closer to the base, she became noticeably quieter.
“Everything okay, sweetness?”
Her brows were pulled together when she glanced over at me. “Yeah, why?”
“You just got quiet all of a sudden.”
“Oh, I was just thinking…”
“About?”
“About when you have to leave—how hard it’s going to be to say goodbye. Then I was thinking about all the men and women with families and how difficult it must be for them.”
I nodded. “It’s why I’ve never had a serious girlfriend.”
Until now.
Hang on, Marine. You’re getting a little ahead of yourself.
I continued, “I wouldn’t want to put her through that.”
At that moment I realized, I shouldn’t put Ashley through that either.
“I think it comes with the territory of loving someone willing to put their life on the line for the benefit of others. How is it any different than spouses of firefighters and police officers?”
She had a point, still…
“Well, their shifts don’t last a year or more. That’s a long time to be separated from someone you’re in a relationship with. A lot of lonely nights.”
Another reason I’d never had a girlfriend. I didn’t want to have to worry if there was someone else keeping her bed warm while I was away. It was just easier not to be in a relationship.
“For you, too.”
I reached for her hand and smiled. “Letters help.”
“So why don’t you think your letters would help the other person?”
I recognized she was talking about herself, even though she didn’t say so, and I wondered if I was keeping her from dating other men.
I kind of hoped so.
Was that selfish?
Probably.
But I really liked her.
“Maybe they would,” I gave her a pointed look. “For the right woman.”
~~~~
A small cluster of brass walked in the conference room not long after I did, and I stood to salute.
Lieutenant General Thompson nodded his head at me, “Captain Davidson.”
“Sir.”
“Have a seat.”
I surveyed the bars and stars on the men’s uniforms. I’d been expecting my lieutenant, and maybe a major general. The number of high-ranking men in the room, including General Thompson, had my spidey senses tingling. Something was up.
I guess I should have known when I was summoned stateside three weeks earlier than I’d planned. But, in my defense, it wasn’t the first time I’d been called home before my men for a debrief that could have been done over satellite communication.
But as the commanders laid out the upcoming mission, I understood why I’d been summoned in person.
This shit was going to be dangerous. There was going to be no room for error. And it wasn’t something you sent over electronic communications.
“So, we’ll get you on a transport back Monday morning,” General Thompson said as they stood.
“Sounds good, Sir.”
I saluted again, but as I dropped my hand to my side, I knew it was anything but good.
Once they left the room, I slumped back into my chair.
The timing of this mission couldn’t be worse. For once in my life, I had someone I wanted to come home to and there was a real possibility I might not.
Why did I have to be overseas now ?
As soon as I thought it, I conceded that if I hadn’t been overseas, Ashley never would have written to me in the first place, and we would have never met. I had to take the good with the bad.
A first lieutenant who I knew lived off-base offered me a ride back to Ashley’s. I tried to engage him in conversation as we drove along the highway, like a civilized person would do when someone was doing them a favor, but it was hard. My thoughts were all over the place.
One minute I was cursing my luck.
The next I was chastising myself. Danger was synonymous with my entire company’s existence—especially where we were in the world. This wasn’t new.
But this new mission for a few elite squads was. And the risk level even more elevated.
I should have known better than to get involved with Ashley, but it had almost felt like it was out of my control. As if it were bigger than me.
Yeah, bullshit.
My life was about overseeing everything . It’s how I kept my men alive. Too many people depended on me to even give the thought of something being out of my power an iota of consideration.
But if I was really calling the shots, how did I end up involved with Ashley? I specifically only hooked up with women who had zero long-term potential so I’d be free to leave on a mission without any complications.
Well, shit just got a lot more complicated.
Now what the hell was I going to do?
****
Ashley
Just a little after six, the doorbell rang, and my heart skipped a beat. He came back.
I mean, logically, I knew he would—his duffel bag was sitting in the corner of my living room. Not to mention the way he kissed me just before I got in the driver’s seat after taking him to the base.
He’d pulled away and grinned when he’d looked down at my kiss-drunk face. Then he’d touched my chin with a wink and murmured, “I’ll see you later, sweetness,” leaving me smiling like a fool the entire drive home.
I don’t even know how I had made it back to my apartment; I’d been so lost in daydreams of what it would be like if Sloane were really my boyfriend and lived in San Diego fulltime.
As soon as I allowed myself to embrace how wonderful it could be, middle-school Ashley reared her ugly head to remind me that he was way out of my league, and it wouldn’t be long before someone prettier came along and caught his eye.
I knew I wasn’t being fair to Sloane. He didn’t seem to be shallow like that. And when I analyzed it further, I realized that worry had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my insecurities.
I knew I needed to either get over it or do something about it.
I had good insurance now, so laser treatments weren’t cost prohibitive, and the downtime wouldn’t be bad, so I didn’t really know why I hadn’t already gotten it done.
I think in some way the birthmark had become a part of my identity, and having it removed would be like altering who I was.
Or maybe I was just scared I wouldn’t be able to use it as an excuse why I didn’t have a boyfriend, or didn’t get the promotion, or whatever else didn’t go my way. It’d become my scapegoat. What would I do if I no longer had it to blame?
It was time to put my big girl panties on and find out.
During my free afternoon, I researched dermatology offices that performed pulsed dye laser treatments and scheduled a consultation appointment with the one with the best reviews.
Of course, they were booked through the holidays and beyond, so I was unable to get in until the beginning of February.
Step One in my Ashley 2.0 plan.
Step Two was believing someone as gorgeous as Sloane could really fall for me. That was going to take some work.
I loved that he wasn’t just beautiful on the outside, but the inside, too. I got the feeling he didn’t show that to many people, and I felt honored I’d gotten to know that side of him.
And now he was back at my door.
Never doubted it for a minute .
Fake it ‘til you make it, right?
I flung the door open and couldn’t help but smile like a lunatic at the sight of Sloane standing on the other side of the threshold.
“Lucy… I’m home,” he said with a grin, along with a terrible Desi Arnaz accent.
“Hi!”
“You look beautiful, baby,” he said as he dropped a kiss to my forehead before I moved so he could pass.
I studied him as he took off his boots. He looked tired and I knew it had probably been a trying day. The Marine Corps didn’t bring him halfway across the world to give him cookies and a pep talk. Even I understood his presence three weeks earlier than originally planned, and without the rest of his men, meant something. Either he was getting his ass chewed, which I hoped wasn’t the case, or he was being briefed on something big.
Whichever it was, it showed on his face.
“Long day, huh?”
He looked up at me with a tired smile as his second boot dropped to the floor. “You could say that.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I wish I could, sweetness,” he said as he stood, “but it’s classified.”
“I figured, but I thought I’d ask anyway.”
Without another word, he pulled me into his arms and held me against his hard body. I felt the tension leave his back as he let out a deep sigh and kissed my hair.
“You’re nice to come home to,” he finally murmured with his cheek resting against the top of my head, and I felt butterflies take flight in my stomach.
“I like you being here.”
After a few more minutes of just holding each other, he slowly pulled away.
“Ryan wants to have dinner at his place. I told him we’d be there. I hope that’s okay?”
“Of course. What does he need us to bring?”
“He said dessert.”
I smiled. “That’s perfect. I made a cheesecake today.”
“You made a cheesecake?”
“Yeah.” The corner of his mouth twitched, and I blurted out, “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. I’ve just never met anyone who actually made a cheesecake and didn’t buy it.”
“Well, I remembered you said cherry cheesecake was your favorite, and I had the ingredients, so...”
He pulled me into another embrace. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
My shoulders hiked even with his arms around me. “It’s the least I can do after everything you do for our country.”
After another kiss to my hair, he released me.
“I’m going to get changed and then we can get going. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back, and have some quality time together.”
“I hope by quality time, you mean naked time,” I said cheekily.
“They’re synonymous, aren’t they?”
He winked at me as he reached behind his neck and pulled the camel-colored t-shirt off his body, leaving him bare-chested.
“I think so.”
My mouth watered as I stared at his broad chest and rippled abdominal muscles.
“Sweetness, you better stop looking at me like that, or we’re not going to get out of here.”
As appealing as that sounded, I knew I needed to share Sloane with his friends and his dog, so I reluctantly turned and headed toward the kitchen to cover the cheesecake in plastic wrap.
“Do you have to go back to the base tomorrow?” I asked across the bar-height counter dividing the two rooms.
“Yeah, but only until early afternoon, and then I’ll have the weekend off, so we’ll have until Monday morning to do whatever we want.”
My dirty mind immediately went to not leaving the bed the entire time. He seemed to be on the same wavelength because he added with a grin, “We can stay up all night and sleep all morning.”
I could work with that.
He glanced down at the counter and saw the notes I’d written while talking to the dermatologist’s office. He picked up the notepad and waved it at me, asking, “What’s this?”
“I scheduled a consultation about having my birthmark removed.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired of being embarrassed about it.”
He looked at me for a long time. So long, it made me uncomfortable. Finally, he said, “You’re beautiful exactly how you are.”
I’d waited my whole life to hear someone other than my mom tell me that.
And I didn’t believe him for a second, just like I never did my mom.
“I appreciate you saying that, but I think it’s time.”
He shook his head with a frown. “I mean, it’s your face. You do what’s going to make you happy. I just don’t think you need it.”
I wanted to jump over the counter and hug him. Instead, I pressed the plastic wrap tight against the cheesecake pan.
“It’s just a consultation. And they can’t get me in until the new year, so I have some time to think about it.”
“Good.”
He disappeared into my bedroom leaving me feeling confused about what to do. I’d been so determined when I was talking to the doctor’s office earlier, now I wasn’t so sure.