Chapter Thirty-Three
Ashley
I think I was still in shock when I left the doctor’s office and drove straight to Tammy’s house without calling.
It wasn’t until I was knocking on her door that it dawned on me that she might not be home from work yet.
Fortunately, she answered the door and smiled brightly when she saw it was me.
“Hey! What a nice surprise! Come in!”
She moved so I could walk inside her little bungalow.
“What’s going on? Are you hungry?” she asked from behind as I made my way to the couch in her living room.
I plunked down on the cushions and blurted out, “No, I’m pregnant.”
“Shut the front door!”
She sat down on the coffee table directly in front of me and grabbed my hands.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “They had me take a test at the dermatologist’s office. I guess they don’t want you getting laser treatments if you’re pregnant.”
“ They made you do a test ?”
“Well, I answered yes to the ‘is there a chance you could be pregnant’ question, so I think that’s why they did.”
“What made you answer yes to that? Sloane’s been gone for over two months.” She stopped suddenly and looked at me side-eyed. “Did you go out and have a one-night stand and not tell me?”
“What? No! I’ve been too tired to go out, you know that. I answered yes because the question before that asked when my last menstrual period was, and I realized I hadn’t had one since November.”
“Well, that explains why you’ve been feeling like shit.”
“Yeah…”
I wasn’t sure what else to say. Everything felt surreal.
Tammy softly stroked my hand as she quietly asked, “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
“Um… I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out how it even happened. I never miss a pill.”
“Never?”
“Well, I mean, hardly ever. But it’s never been a big deal because I wasn’t having sex anyway.”
“Well,” she said with a smirk. “You were most certainly having sex in the middle of November.”
“Yeah,” I said with a humorless laugh. “I was. Joke’s on me, now.”
“It doesn’t have to be. You’ve got some time to make a decision.”
“You know I’m all for a woman’s right to choose. I just never thought I’d be the one in a position to have to make a choice.”
I was grateful that I had options. I knew some women didn’t.
“Well, I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.”
I teared up when I replied, “Thank you, Tam. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She looked at my watery eyes and burst out laughing. “I don’t know how we didn’t figure this out sooner. Your hormones have been making you a hot mess.”
“I guess I just chalked it up to worrying about Sloane. And now, getting over being dumped.”
“Fuck him,” she grumbled.
“I did,” I said with a genuine laugh. “That’s why I’m in this predicament.”
~~~~
Dan took one look at me at his appointment the following week and said, “Wow, that was quick. I expected you to have a bruised-up face the next time I saw you.”
“Oh, this is still makeup. I just had a consultation. And I wouldn’t get these results with just one treatment. But I’m going to have to wait a bit before I can get started.”
“You are? How long?”
“About a year.”
He narrowed his eyes as he studied me but didn’t ask anything more. I had the distinct feeling I knew exactly what he suspected, and if I was right, his suspicion would be confirmed soon enough.
~~~~
Tammy and I were having lunch in Seaport Village on the first Saturday in March, when she said, “Okay, I get why you don’t want to go to the beer festival this year, but we’re still going to the flower fields in Carlsbad, right?”
“Of course. Just say when.”
“How about two weeks from today?”
“It’s a date. I’ll get us tickets. I’m sorry I’m not going to the beer festival with you.”
“That’s okay,” she said as she tried to fight back a smile. “I found someone to go with.”
I felt my eyebrows go up.
“Oh yeah? Anyone I know?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Josh.”
“Josh?” My pregnancy brain struggled to figure out who she was talking about. “Josh who?”
“Josh Kennedy.”
“ Josh Kennedy ?” I boomed.
She looked around like she was determining how many people heard me, then said in a hushed tone, “Yes, Josh Kennedy.”
I followed her lead and lowered my voice as I leaned closer to the table and hissed, “When did this happen? And why am I just hearing about it now?”
“Because there hasn’t been anything to tell. We’ve just run into each other a few times, and thought we’d go to the beer festival together.”
“Well, I didn’t see this coming, but I’m happy for you. He seems like a good guy.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. We’re just going to the beer festival together.”
“I thought you hated him?”
“I do.” Then she corrected herself, “I mean, I did, the jury’s still out if that’s changed or not.” She ran a fry through a dollop of ketchup when she said, “Speaking of people we hate… have you decided if you’re going to tell Sloane about Peanut?”
“I haven’t. But even if I did, he’d probably just return my letter anyway.”
Yeah, I was still a little bitter about that, even though I’d been trying hard to move on. I had Peanut to worry about now.
“Well, you could call him. He’s being transferred to the Army’s Burn Center in San Antonio.”
“I’m assuming Josh told you that?”
She shrugged. “He mentioned it.”
“ You didn’t tell him I’m pregnant, did you ?”
Tammy leaned back in her chair and glared at me.
“No, I didn’t. And I’m offended that you’d even think I’d betray you like that.”
I let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I haven’t made a decision about whether to tell Sloane, and I’ve been paranoid I’m going to run into one of his friends. Then you drop that you’re dating Josh, and I hadn’t even considered something like that, and it freaked me out a little.”
“First of all, I’m not dating Josh. He had an extra ticket to the beer festival and invited me along, that’s all. And second, you’re my ride or die. My loyalty lies with you. No questions asked.”
“You’re my ride or die, too.” My eyes welled with tears. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The corners of Tammy’s mouth turned up.
“You know the thing I’m looking forward to most about you having this baby? Other than actually holding Peanut, of course, is you not bawling over every damn thing.”
“God, me too.”
No one was more tired of me crying all the time than I was.
“I’m just glad it’s not because you’re sad anymore.”
“Nope. I had to let that go.” The second I read that my emotions could affect the baby, I made a concerted effort to find reasons to be happy.
“So maybe you should just let sleeping dogs lie.”
“You’re probably right. Besides, he’s got enough to deal with; he doesn’t need to add being a dad to the mix.”
“I don’t give a shit about what he has to deal with. The minute he did you dirty, I was done with his ass. It’s you I’m worried about. I don’t want you opening that wound again.”
“So why did you tell me he’s being moved to San Antonio?”
“Because I know you’d want to know. And even if I have an opinion about what you should do, it’s ultimately your decision, and you deserve to have all the information available.”
I teared up again .
“Goddammit, stop being such a good friend!”