Chapter Forty-Seven
Sloane
I spent more time staring at the ceiling that night than sleeping. Not even the sound of the waves crashing against the shore could shut my brain off.
I had a daughter.
When I’d woken up that morning in San Antonio, “find out I’m a father” was nowhere on my bingo card.
Not only did I have a daughter, but her mama was the only woman I’d ever loved.
Being alone in my room with Ashley earlier, listening to her melodic voice that sounded even better than I remembered, seeing how fucking beautiful she was up close… I was proud of myself for keeping it together.
This was the woman I’d dreamed about coming home to after my tour was up—with her waiting for me at the airport with open arms.
This wasn’t how we were supposed to be living together. Me missing half a leg with mangled flesh of what remained of my left side while she took care of me.
I should be taking care of her and our daughter.
I’d reread Ashley’s letter again before I laid down. When she’d written it, she sounded like she was open to us raising Millie together, albeit separately. But I wondered, would me being in Millie’s life even be fair to her? I was always going to be the freak-show dad. If I didn’t scare her, I’d for sure scare her friends.
I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. But maybe I didn’t need to have all the answers right then. Ashley, Millie, and I were together in the same house now.
I just needed to convince Ashley not to leave.
And I needed to ditch my walker and start walking independently as soon as possible.
~~~~
Despite not getting much sleep, I was up early and made my way onto the back patio to breathe in the ocean air I’d missed for the last year and welcome the new day.
With my eyes closed and a smile on my face, I inhaled deeply and felt my body relax as a breeze rustled the windchimes. I was home .
A point that was reinforced when I came inside and found Ashley in the kitchen stirring something in a mixing bowl and having a full-blown conversation with our daughter who was watching from a bouncy seat on the counter.
“And when you get teeth, mommy will make you eggs and pancakes, too!”
I could see Millie hanging on every word her mama was telling her. My kid was a fucking genius.
“Good morning,” I said softly, not wanting to startle Ash in case she hadn’t heard me and my walker clicking into the kitchen.
Ashley turned, still cradling the mixing bowl in her arm while stirring the contents with the other and gave me a polite smile.
“Good morning. I see you still get up early.”
“I’m surprised to find you down here at this hour, to be honest.”
“I sleep when Millie sleeps, and as you can see,” she gestured to the little one on the counter, “she’s wide awake at seven a.m. and has been for the last hour.”
Ashley bopped the baby on her nose with a big smile and said in dramatic voice, “You’ve made mama a morning person whether she wants to be or not. Yes, you have.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here to help you with that. Although,” I looked at the counter sheepishly, avoiding eye contact with her. “I’m here now, and I’m not sure how much help I could offer.”
She nodded toward Millie. “Do you think she’s going to be running around here someday?”
Her change of topic threw me off-guard, and I answered honestly. “I have no doubt.”
“Do you expect her to be running around next week?”
“Of course not.”
“Of course not,” she echoed. “Everything takes time, but it will happen. You just have to put in the work and be patient. You’ll get there. I read your file last night. Your last PTA said you’re dedicated to your recovery, and she expects you to make great progress now that you’re mobile.”
“That’s the goal.”
“It’s a good goal.” She was silent for a beat, then took a deep breath. “So”—she put the bowl down—“this is your daughter.”
I hung back and admired my little girl from a distance. She was so little. And beautiful. She looked like Ashley but with my eyes.
“How did something so perfect come from me?” I whispered in awe.
“She’s not perfect. I’ll let you change her diaper and that idea will quickly be put to rest.”
I laughed. She really was my kid.
“Do you want to hold her?”
Ashley’s question made me freeze.
“I don’t think I—”
She was already lifting Millie from her seat.
“Just sit down on the couch. You’ll be fine.”
Even as I protested, I ambled toward the couch. She stood next to me holding Millie once I sat down, and I asked, “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t. You can maneuver your walker; I have no doubt you can hold her.”
Then she laid the little girl in my arms, and I looked down at her button nose, perfect bow lips, and bright blue eyes. That’s all it took, and I was fucking gone.
“Hi, baby girl. It’s nice to meet you,” I whispered as I dropped a kiss to her forehead. “I’m your dad.”
****
Ashley
My breath caught in my throat, watching Sloane hold Millie for the first time.
He was so gentle with her, and even though I knew he was originally nervous to hold her, his body relaxed when he began to talk to her.
“What’s her full name?” he asked while he continued staring at her.
“Amelia Sloane Youngman.”
I couldn’t decipher his smile when he looked up at me.
“At least I got middle-name billing. It’s probably more than I deserve.”
Part of me wanted to throw shade and agree with him. Remind him that he’d ghosted us, but then I realized there wouldn’t be any point. Nothing I could say would change things, and he seemed genuinely remorseful.
“You’re here now. Let’s just focus on that.”
“Thank you. I know you didn’t have to let me meet her.”
“She deserves to have her dad in her life. It would be selfish of me to deny her that because I was mad at you.”
One of his eyebrows shot up. “ Was mad? Does that mean you’ve forgiven me, and you’re not moving out?”
“I’m not planning on leaving. You still had the letter, so that means something. At least you didn’t send it back. I can’t pretend to know the hell you’ve been through, so I’m in no position to judge how you’ve coped. You broke my heart, but I survived. What’s important now is our little girl is going to have her dad in her life.”
“I don’t know how good a dad I’ll be.”
“You’ll be great. Once you’re fully ambulatory, we’ll be able to share custody. I have no doubt she’s going to have you wrapped around her finger.”
He looked back down at her with a soft grin.
“I think she already does.”
I wasn’t sure if my heart could handle watching him fall in love with his daughter.
I noticed Sloane made a point to sit to the left of me, so his right profile was what I saw when I looked at him. And what a gorgeous profile it was.
While I understood his reluctance to show his burns—I could only imagine how hard it had to have been for him to go from looking like he stepped out of a magazine one day to being disfigured the next—what I didn’t think he realized was his scars were battle wounds from protecting our country, and by default, me and Millie.
And that was sexy as hell.