Chapter Fifty-Three
Sloane
With just her towel wrapped around her, Ashley slipped out of my room and up the stairs while I pulled a pair of underwear from my drawer and sat on my bed to put them on.
I heard her say through the monitor, “Hi, hungry girl. Do you want to go see your daddy?”
Daddy . That was me. I had a daughter. I looked down at my lap with a smile, then noticed the shiny, hairless skin on my legs.
My scars mocked me, even in the darkness. Was it fair to put a kid through having a father who looked like me? I wasn’t so sure.
Maybe Millie was a gift from God because I wouldn’t purposefully have a kid now.
The taste of Ashley’s pussy was still on my lips, and even though I didn’t want to, I hopped to my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.
Just as I was getting back into bed, Ashley appeared in the doorway, looking like an angel as the moonlight reflected off her white nightgown. Little Mille was wrapped in a pink receiving blanket and was already suckling from her mom’s breast.
“Hi,” I said softly as I widened my thighs and patted the space in front of me. “Come sit.”
Ashley carefully situated herself on the bed, so not to disturb the baby’s feeding, then scooted back between my legs. I wrapped my arms around her middle and put my chin on her shoulder to stare at the little girl who, the more I looked at her, the more I saw myself in her features.
“My little family,” I murmured as I kissed Ashley’s shoulder while softly stroking Millie’s cheek.
God, I hoped she’d have Ashley’s disposition. Even after months of regular therapy, I could still be a salty motherfucker. I couldn’t even blame my injuries on that. I’d been grumpy long before that RPG hit my Humvee. That might be from living over half my life reporting to Uncle Sam, and the other half abused and neglected.
I sent up a little prayer of thanks because there was no way Ash would ever let anything bad happen to Millie. Even if I couldn’t protect her.
Ashley switched Millie to her other breast, then rested her head against my neck. I softly stroked her shoulders while she gave sustenance to our baby. I was in fucking awe of her ability to do that.
Finally, Millie finished, and Ash moved the cloth she’d used to wipe the baby’s face with to her shoulder. I knew what she was going to do and said, “I’ll do that.”
“You sure? She’s notorious for spitting up, and you don’t have a shirt on.”
With a grin, I replied, “I’ll be easier to wash that way.”
“Okay…”
She removed the cloth and held it up, saying, “Right or left?”
I appreciated she was trying to be respectful and not make the automatic assumption I wouldn’t put Millie on my left side.
“Right.”
She laid the material on my shoulder then handed me the baby who was now in a milk coma.
“Come here, angel,” I crooned as I situated her on my shoulder.
She felt so tiny and fragile in my arms as I gently patted her back.
“Get some sleep,” I instructed Ash. “I got this.”
Ashley nestled under the covers next to me, and before I knew it, she was lights out like our daughter.
My ego liked that she trusted me enough to take care of Millie so she was able to fall fast asleep. The orgasm I’d given her earlier might have helped.
Or it could be she was just that exhausted.
Millie finally let out the sweetest little burp, then seemed to snuggle closer to me while making soft cooing sounds.
She was just like her mama.
Thank God.
Having Millie in my arms and Ashley sleeping next to me, I don’t think I’d ever felt more content. That changed when I started to doze off and realized I wasn’t able to put my daughter back in her crib because I was a fucking cripple.
I was helpless to move an eight-pound baby, that’s how incapable I was.
And Ashley was sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake her.
So, I softly laid Millie on my side of the bed. Then since I had no idea if she was even capable of rolling over, I built a wall around her out of the decorative throw pillows that until that moment I had never had any use for. I needed to keep Millie from falling off the bed and also safe from Ashley accidentally rolling over onto her.
Only after I was confident she was safe, did I grab a pillow and lay down on the floor next to the bed. I thought situating myself there offered another layer of protection in case Millie somehow maneuvered around my pillow fence.
It felt like no sooner had I fallen asleep, than my baby girl started crying again. Glancing at my watch, I realized it’d been almost three and a half hours to the minute since Ashley gave her to me to burp.
I raised myself to the edge of the bed to find Ashley already pulling her boob from her gown and Millie latching on.
“You do this every three-and-a-half hours, every night?”
She looked over at me with a smile. “Every night.”
“You’re a bigger fucking rockstar than I originally gave you credit for.”
“I’m flattered that you gave me rockstar cred to begin with.” She motioned with her head toward the edge of the bed. “Were you sleeping on the floor?”
“Yeah, I thought if she somehow fell off the bed, at least she’d land on me.”
Her expression softened, and she murmured, “I’m so sorry. I should have gone back upstairs with her.”
“Don’t be sorry. I liked being able to hold her.”
“Yeah, but you need your rest.”
“And you don’t?”
“I have to be up either way. You, on the other hand, don’t.”
“When can she start taking a bottle?”
“I actually should have started trying a few weeks ago. I read that after six weeks, she might reject a bottle. But I figured since I was going to be with her during the day, there wouldn’t be a need.”
“I think you should try. That way I can take a shift or two.”
Ashley scooted toward the edge of the bed. “Let’s talk about it when the sun’s up. I’m going to go upstairs before Stu or Crash wake up and find me in your bed.”
Would that be so bad?
“They already know Millie is mine.”
She stood and faced me. “That’s true. But I think if they knew about what we did, it would make it awkward.”
“Good thing it was only for one night then,” I said with a wry smile.
“I know I owe you, so maybe we can make an exception and add tomorrow night, too.”
“You don’t owe me, Ash.”
“We had an agreement to help each other, Sloane. I haven’t upheld my end of the bargain.”
“Baby, watching you get off was more than satisfying.”
“It wasn’t what we agreed to.”
“If you want to come back to my bed tomorrow night, I’m not going to tell you no.”
And every night after.
She came closer and leaned down to kiss my cheek, and I reflexively reached up to cup her ass with my right hand.
“I’ll see you later,” she softly whispered in my ear.
I ran the back of my left index finger along Millie’s cheek and said, “Don’t hurry down in the morning. Get some rest. We’ll be okay having cereal for breakfast.”
“We’ll see,” she said before disappearing out the door.
I crawled back under the covers, wishing I could do more to ease her burden and disappointed that my girls couldn’t stay.