Chapter Sixty-One
Sloane
I hadn’t been excited about trading a beach house for barracks. Or going from spending my days laid back with Ashley, Millie, Stu, and Crash to a structured schedule with half a dozen other injured Marines, but it turned out to be the best thing for me.
I was able to focus on my physical, mental, and spiritual health and, well, to put it delicately—finally pull my head out of my ass.
The fact that Ashley hadn’t served me with papers and would send the occasional photo of my daughter gave me hope that it wasn’t too late to be a father to my little girl.
Whether I could salvage my relationship with Ashley was a whole different story.
I expressed my concern the night after Halloween. I’d just finished dinner at Grace and Ryan’s house, and I’d shown them the picture Ashley had sent me of Millie in her Halloween costume.
“You two made a damn cute kid,” Ryan said as he handed me back my phone.
“I know,” I said with a laugh. “It’d be a shame not to give her a brother or sister.”
Both my friends’ heads turned so fast to look at me, I was worried they’d gotten whiplash.
“What are you saying?” Ryan asked.
“I’m not saying anything. Just wishful thinking out loud. I think it might be too late. I really fucked that up.”
My friend didn’t try to spare my feelings or sugarcoat things.
“Yeah, you did. Big time. But it’s encouraging that you’re even talking about having another one. Less than two months ago, you were convinced you shouldn’t even be a dad to Millie.”
“I hope it’s not too late to make up for that. I can’t blame Ashley if she never wants anything to do with me again, but hopefully she’s still willing to let me coparent Millie.”
“Remind her why she fell in love with you,” Grace suggested before taking a sip of wine.
“How?”
“I don’t know. What made her fall in love with you in the first place?”
“My witty love letters,” I quipped.
She raised her eyebrows and shrugged, like it was that easy. “There’s your answer.”
“I should write her love letters?”
“Maybe not start with a love letter, but why not send her a letter and see what happens?”
I mean… what could it hurt?
****
Ashley
Through Military Angels, I was currently corresponding with two sergeants, one in the Army and one in the Marines. Writing two relatively generic letters a week and sending two packages a month seemed like a piece of cake compared to the amount of time I’d spent pouring my heart out in prose to Sloane.
So far, neither had written back, and that was probably just as well. Not that I’d ever get romantically involved with a pen pal again, but I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to form even a superficial friendship with someone who could get hurt or worse. I was perfectly content being a socks, beef jerky, and battery supplier to military men and women risking their lives for my freedoms and not getting a letter in return.
So, when Crash announced, “Ash, you got a letter,” after he came back from the mailbox, I was surprised.
I was even more surprised when I immediately recognized the handwriting and the Camp Pendleton return address.
I had no idea why Sloane would be writing to me. Was this what Tammy had warned me about? Was he going to sue me for custody? My gut told me no; that wasn’t his style.
My baby girl was chattering away on her blanket on the family room floor. I wanted her to know her dad, but he needed to want that relationship, too, and if he wasn’t interested, he needed to stay away. It seemed like he was more interested in regaining his career than forming a bond with his daughter.
But I also didn’t want to be the one making the decision to cut him from her life, so I’d done nothing about severing his rights.
I could tell my three nosy roommates—Crash, Stu, and our newest guy, Bobby Doyle, a mastery gunnery sergeant in the Marines who lost an arm and leg when his JLTV was hit by a roadside bomb, were hanging around the kitchen hoping to sneak a peek at who the letter was from. I was sure they had an idea.
Crash and Stu had filled Bobby in on my personal drama with their former roommate during our PT sessions, and I was certain they gave him even more dirt when they were by themselves.
Bobby loved Millie as much as the other guys, and, having never met Sloane, he was even less tolerant of her dad never visiting her than Stu and Crash.
I tucked the unopened envelope in my back pocket to read later when I was upstairs away from prying eyes.
“Did Sloane pay you this month?” Stu asked.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, he did.”
“At least he’s not a deadbeat dad,” Crash grumbled.
Maybe that was what the letter was about. An investment account for Millie.
“Just an absentee one,” Bobby added.
Even though he was right, that got my hackles up.
“You guys don’t get an opinion on this.”
“Sorry,” they mumbled, and Stu and Bobby dispersed back to their usual places on the couch, while Crash dropped to the floor next to Millie.
“ I’m going to come visit you all the time,” he told her with wide eyes and a broad smile as he tickled her belly.
She kicked her legs and waved her arms as she squealed in response.
“She’s going to miss her Uncle Crash,” I told him. “We all are.”
“Think you can talk your friend Tammy into coming to my going away party?”
“You’re having a party?”
“I am if she agrees to come to one,” he said with a wicked grin.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“And you’re going to miss me—you already said so, and you can’t take it back.”
“I would never take it back; I am going to miss you. But I’m excited for you.”
“Me too. And a little nervous.”
“That’s understandable. But it’s going to be great, and you’re going to love having your own place.”
He was being honorably discharged and starting college in January at San Diego State, same as Sloane had. With his tuition being paid courtesy of the U.S. government, same as Sloane’s had been. Crash, however, was leaving the military— unlike Sloane.
“I’m going to miss living on the beach, though.”
“Bro,” Stu chastised. “You’re only going to be a few blocks from the ocean. You can walk there.”
“Damn right I can.”
I echoed his proclamation with a smile and held my hand up for a high five.
“Damn right you can.”
I felt like a proud mama helping her little bird leave the nest. Crash was ready, and I felt privileged to have played a role in his recovery.
“Language!” Bobby reprimanded.
Stu interjected, “I think she’s going to hear a lot worse than ‘damn’, living here.”
I looked at Crash, still on the floor entertaining Millie, and asked, “Do you need help packing?”
“No.” He nodded toward the stairs. “Go read your letter and let us know what it says.”
I rolled my eyes, then asked, “Who’s helping me with dinner tonight?”
~~~~
Even though I was dying to read Sloane’s letter, I purposefully put off opening it until I’d gone through my entire nightly routine. As if not tearing into it the second I had a chance proved that it was no big deal.
His familiar block penmanship made me smile.
Dear Ashley,
I wanted to thank you again for sending the photo of Millie yesterday. Ryan agrees that she is the most beautiful baby he’s ever seen, and Grace is already trying to arrange a marriage between our daughter and her nephew in Boston.
Don’t worry—I told her over my dead body.
I hope you’re doing well, and that the Jeep is running good for you. Promise me you’ll let me know if you have problems with it. (I paid good money to ensure you don’t, so if you do, someone’s going to hear about it.)
I’m making nice progress here. I’ve had my permanent orthotic for a week and I’m still getting used to it, but I think it’s going to work out great. Three months ago, I never would have believed it, but I can honestly see myself running again, just like you and Judy, my PTA in San Antonio, said I would.
I’m scheduled for another skin graft on my face after the holidays. The doctors are optimistic that more of the scarring can be minimized, but I’m not going to get my hopes up. I guess we’ll see. I think the rest of me is a lost cause, though. LOL
If you think about it, would you mind sending me a picture of Millie’s first Thanksgiving? Do you have plans with the guys at the beach house or are you spending it with family? I’ll have dinner here on base with my regiment. Both Ryan and Craig have to work, so I’ll celebrate with them on Friday or Saturday. I feel like a lottery winner having two Thanksgivings! Last year, my dinner was a turkey and mashed potato MRE in a tent in the middle of nowhere.
Anyway! I just wanted to thank you again for the photos and wish you a happy holiday.
Take care,
Sloane
I pulled out my stationery without a second thought.