Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
LUKE
S he has no idea what she fuckin’ does to me. Something as simple as putting her hand over mine is enough to send me crazy, and now, thanks to her perfectly innocent gesture, I’m here, jerking off in my dead brother’s spare room, unable to get the thought of his pretty little widow from my head.
I’m a disgrace. Erin proved today that she believes in me, which is more than can be said for anyone else in my family.
She trusts me, and this is the thanks I’m giving her.
I look down and watch the way my cock pushes through my fist. If she knew that, right now, I was imagining that fist was her mouth, she’d be disgusted.
But I gotta do something to relieve all the tension she puts inside me.
I hear a noise coming from the other side of the door, and I instantly freeze. It sounds like whimpering, and it’s getting louder. Getting out of bed, I pull on some sweatpants and head toward the door.
“No…No, please!” Erin’s voice calls out, and I don’t care that my dick is still fuckin’ hard.
I rip the door open and head straight toward her room, where the noise is coming from.
I don’t have time to go to the cabinet and grab Matty’s gun.
She sounds terrified. Instead, I pick up the poker from the fire as I pass it and burst through her door.
Raising the poker above my head, I prepare to strike whoever it is that's in here trying to hurt her. But there’s no one here to strike.
She’s alone, thrashing and rolling under her bed sheet, with her eyes screwed up tight like she’s being tortured.
“Erin.” I drop the poker to the floor and go to her. “Erin, you're dreamin’. Wake up.”
She screams as I grab her arms to shake her, and when her eyes suddenly open, they’re so glazed over I can almost see my reflection in them. “It’s just a dream, darlin’.” I smile so she knows everything's okay. “Just a dream.”
Her head nods back while she tries to catch her breath, and I breathe with her so she can keep a steady rhythm and calm herself down.
“You're safe, no one's gonna hurt you. I won’t let ’em,” I assure her, knowing without having to question myself that I’d kill anyone who tried to harm her. She shocks the hell outta me when she lunges forward, wrapping her arms tight around my neck and dragging me tight to her body.
“Sometimes, I forget that he’s not coming back,” she whispers, trembling against me, and I have to hope that she’s too distraught to notice that my cock’s gone rigid again.
“I know, and I hate that there's nothing I can do about that.” I twist my body so I’m sitting beside her instead of hovering awkwardly over her, and even with my change of position, she remains clinging to me like she’s scared I’ll leave.
“I’ll protect you, Erin. I promise. The person who did this to Matty won’t ever get near you. ”
“I’m not scared of them,” she tells me, shaking her head and looking all disorientated and confused.
“Go back to sleep, Erin. You’re gonna need your strength tomorrow.” The cops released Matty’s body yesterday. Tomorrow, we’re going to the funeral home with Mom and Dad to make arrangements for his burial.
“I’m going to be okay, aren’t I?” She smiles at me as more pretty tears slide from her eyes and onto her cheeks.
“You're gonna be fine,” I promise, then I watch it happen. I watch her hand move up so her fingertips can stroke my cheek, I watch her head tilt as it moves closer to mine, and suddenly, I wonder if I’m the one who’s dreaming.
She moves slowly and cautiously, giving me plenty of time to stop her from what she’s about to do, but I don’t.
I’ve been wondering what those lips taste like since fifth grade, and I know it’s wrong to take advantage of someone when they're at their lowest, but I never claimed to be a good person.
I remain still as her lips press against mine, I shiver as her thumb strokes my cheek, and I swallow heavily when the guilt kicks in and reminds me that this is wrong.
Erin doesn’t stop, she presses her mouth even tighter against mine, and when her tongue slips through my lips, all my restraint snaps.
I reach my hand around her head, holding her closer.
I explore her mouth the way I’ve wanted to for all those years I’ve spent wondering, and nothing about it feels wrong.
“Shit.” Her hand suddenly pushes against my chest, and she drags herself away. When I see the shame on her face, it breaks my heart. “Luke, I’m so sorry.” She slams her hand over her mouth and starts to sob. “I was scared and confused, and I…I shouldn’t have done that.”
All I can do is stare back at her. There ain’t any words I can think of to say. “Can we just forget it happened? I’m so embarrassed.” She hides her face in her hands, and I quickly take her wrists and force her to drop them.
“Hey, you got nothing to be embarrassed about,” I tell her, wondering if this is the moment I should confess everything to her.
“I just kissed my husband's brother; what kinda person does that make me?” She looks devastated and clearly regrets it, and as much as it’s hurting, I have to spare her feelings.
“You're grieving, and like you said, you were scared. Of course, we can forget it.” I put on a smile for her and ignore all the urges I got to take that pretty little face in my hands and tell her how special she is before laying another kiss on her.
“You’re a good guy, Luke.” She looks up at me through her lashes like she’s committed some kinda sin. A sin I’d happily commit with her again, because she is worth going to fuckin’ hell for.
“You want me to stay until you fall back to sleep?” I offer, pulling the comforter back over her when I realize she’s only wearing an oversized T-shirt, and it barely covers her thighs.
“I’ll be fine.” She bites her lips as I tuck her back in, and when my hand automatically strokes her cheek the same way hers did mine a few minutes ago, she blushes back at me and smiles.
“Good night, Luke.” Her head nestles back into the pillow, and she closes her eyes, and despite what she said, I wait until she’s breathing soft, sweet little breaths that signal she’s drifted back off.
Then I wait some more because she’s just as beautiful sleeping as she is awake, and this way I can take all the time I need to appreciate it.