21
ADAM
I closed the door and took a few seconds to try and calm my thumping heart. This—having her here in my space—felt big. When I turned around, Maddie was making her way down the small hallway.
I stayed a few paces behind her and tried to imagine what the place must look like to her. I didn't have happy snaps or intricate art pieces lining my walls. In fact, the off-white paint was stained and had started to peel in a few spots.
It was cracked and broken, just like me.
We rounded into the living room, Maddie's hand shot out, her fingers trailing along the wall. They were small and delicate. Feminine. Was her touch like that too?
"I'm curious." She eyed me over her shoulder. "Why did you buy this house? From what I've heard, it's not even a fixer-upper. More like a lost cause."
Sheldon, who was still tucked against her chest, must've wiggled because she dropped to her haunches and set him down before straightening again.
The instant the dog's paws touched the wood, he scampered to where I was standing and pawed my leg.
Lowering myself to his level, I gave him a quick scratch behind the ears .
The intensity of Maddie's eyes on me slammed into me from across the room. My gaze lifted to hers and what little air I had in my lungs got knocked the hell out. My blood felt hot, too hot for my body. My skin too damn tight.
"What?" I finally croaked out.
Our gazes were still locked as I slowly pushed to my feet.
The connection only severed when her eyes flicked to the dog at my feet.
Maddie's brows pulled together and when I followed her gaze I almost choked on a laugh.
Not at all bothered by what was happening around him, Sheldon had one leg stretched out while he happily licked at his privates.
"He's never been like this with anyone else but me. Not even Frankie." When I didn't say anything, she blinked rapidly. "I don't mean that ." Her hand motioned toward the dog. "He's usually just so skittish, but with you—"
"He has no boundaries," I finished dryly.
She grinned. "Yeah."
I pulled my shoulder up. "Maybe he gets a kick out of annoying me.
" With a quick jerk of my head, I motioned for her to follow me.
"What can I get you to drink?" Once inside the kitchen, I opened the fridge.
One look at the empty shelves and it was painfully clear how I had not thought any of this through.
With the door gripped in one hand, I faced Maddie and winced. "I have water and whiskey."
The smile never left her lips. "Water is fine, thanks."
"Sorry." I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and after filling it with ice I set it along with a bottled water on the counter where Maddie was standing. "I usually put in my grocery order on Wednesdays."
"It's really okay." Unscrewing the cap, she filled the glass and then brought it to her mouth. My eyes were glued to the slender column of her throat as she greedily swallowed down almost half of her drink.
I had visions of brushing my knuckles along her skin and lowering my mouth to the spot where her pulse was ticking. Quickly averting my gaze, I moved to the stove. Lifting the lid on the curry, I carefully stirred the concoction.
I'd wanted this. Wanted her here in my space where I could just be in her presence.
But I didn't take a moment to think about how it would affect me.
How I'd want more. And I wasn't talking about something physical.
I wanted to sit with her and beg her to tell me about who she was, what her wants and dreams were.
I wanted to know everything.
My eyes fell shut when I heard her move behind me. In those few seconds before I felt her presence to my left, I willed my frantic thoughts to calm the hell down.
"Mmmm."
I opened my eyes; Maddie was leaning over the pot, using her hand to wave the aroma toward her nose. She took one last whiff before straightening and turning her body toward me.
Her gaze flicked to my scars and for the first time since I'd had them, I didn't immediately want to turn away. Maybe it was because her face never contorted with disgust or possibly because her eyes didn't shine with pity.
She looked at me with curiosity. Like I was some sort of intricate puzzle that she needed to solve. Still studying me, the pink tip of her tongue darted out and slid along her bottom lip. "Can I ask you something?"
Those knots in my stomach twisted and turned. I swallowed roughly as I pushed away from the stove and began pulling plates out. "Sure," I rasped over my shoulder. "But I can't promise to answer."
Especially not if she was about to ask about the fire.
"You intrigue me, Adam. First, you move in here in the middle of the night.
Then you nearly chewed my head off when I just wanted to introduce myself.
" She was moving again; I heard her soft footfalls steadily approach.
"And as far as I can tell, you don't leave the house.
" Maddie came to a standstill next to me as the last words fell from her lips.
Taking a breath, I stared at my hands planted on the counter. "How would you know if I left the house or not?"
She made an incredulous sound. "Have you seen yourself?
" My entire body froze, my stomach sinking to the floor like a rock.
She must've noticed. Within a breath, her hand was curled around my bicep.
"I don't mean…" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shake her head.
"You're a big guy, Adam, and you're not exactly terrible to look at.
It's a small town, and tongues would have been wagging if you'd been spotted. "
Head still bowed, I looked at her. "Not terrible to look at? "
Her cheeks went from pale to bright red within a second flat. I swear, it was the prettiest sight. She tucked a few strands that'd escaped her ponytail behind her ear. "You know what I mean."
Straightening, I leaned my hip against the counter and folded my arms in front of me. "I really don't."
Maddie mimicked my stance and I couldn't help but steal a quick glance at her chest. "Actually, you don't get to ask a question. I still haven't asked mine."
I cocked a brow. "You sure about that?"
"Oh yeah." She nodded once. "I made a few observations but didn't ask a single thing."
It scared the shit out of me to say, "Well, what do you want to know?"
With one arm still tucked beneath her breasts, she tapped her chin with her index finger. While she was pondering over her question, I came up with an idea of my own. Right when her pretty lips parted, my finger shot up.
"Just a sec." I waited until I had her undivided attention before I continued, "I think it's only fair that I get to ask you something too."
Maddie rolled her lip between her teeth, eyes roaming over my face for the longest time.
"Okay," she answered carefully. "But can we eat while we partake in this game of twenty questions.
" With a small smile, she patted her stomach.
"I'm starving, and the aromas coming from that pot aren't helping matters much.
" Pinning me with a stare, her tone turned serious. "I might bite when I'm hangry. "
You can bite me anytime you want . I had to press my tongue against my cheek to keep the words from spilling out. "All right."
Dishing up, we silently moved around each other. Each brush of our arms or stolen glance charging the air between us. By the time we were seated opposite each other at the small dinette, every cell in my body felt alive and on fire.
When Maddie picked up her fork and eagerly tucked into her food, I found myself holding my breath. Slowly lifting the fork to her mouth, she trained her eyes on me. My heart ground to an abrupt halt before it fiercely started hammering against my ribs.
Her mouth closed around the bite of food, her lids fluttering closed a second later. I was about to take a much-needed pull of air when the most sinful, most sensual sound came from the back of her throat.
"Mmm," she moaned. "This is sooo good."
The air lodged in my throat wasn't the only thing that needed to go the hell down. Shifting in my seat, I snatched up my water and poured it down my throat when I really wanted to tip the contents over my head.
If I was going to make it through this dinner—that I had wanted—I needed to get a handle on my damn hormones. Surely, at the age of thirty-five, it shouldn't be that difficult a task?
One... two… three… four…
"You're not eating." Maddie's remark interrupted my slow count to ten. "Not hungry? "
Oh, I was hungry all right. Just not for the food in front of me. "Just waiting for the inquisition to begin." I kept my tone light, hoping she wouldn't take my phrasing the wrong way.
One corner of her mouth lifted. "Hmm, or could it be that you're patiently waiting to ask whatever it is you want to ask?"
Loading my fork with chicken, my gaze flicked to hers. "Maybe."
Instead of speaking, Maddie went in for a few more bites.
"This is really good," she said with a little sigh.
"If I weren't such a terrible cook, I'd ask for the recipe.
" She reached for her water and lifted the glass to her mouth, awarding me with the most brilliant smile before taking a small sip.
After returning the glass to the coaster, she pushed her almost empty plate aside, then leaned forward slightly, those eyes of hers sparkling. "You ready?"
No, I most certainly wasn't. But I couldn't say that. Leaning back in my seat, I swiped my palms down my thighs. "Ask away."
Maddie's eyes flitted to my neck. My stomach turned over on itself. I'd talk to her about whatever the hell she wanted, just not the fire. Never that. Under the table, my leg started bouncing on the spot. The need to jump up and hide so fucking strong.
But then her gentle stare met mine and within the space of a breath, my frayed nerves started to settle
"Why Clearwater Bay?" Her voice was quiet and curious .
Giving her an evasive answer would've been so damn easy, but I found that wasn't the first thing I wanted to do. I pushed my plate to the side and rested my elbows on the table.
"I needed solitude. A place to heal without everyone—as well-meaning as they were—looking over my shoulder." The urge to stop talking was so strong but I shoved it away. "I shut down and I needed to find myself again."
My heart was beating too fast and too loud. It felt as if a million insects ran over my skin, I barely suppressed the shiver. I hadn't told her anything and yet it was the most I'd told anyone.
She leaned in as close as the table would allow. "And? Have you?" Her words were soft, the expression in her eyes gentle as they roamed over my face.
"I'm getting there." I heard the conviction in my voice. Felt the truth of it in the marrow of my bones. "My turn?"
She swallowed. "If you must."
I didn't need to think about it, I've had the question bouncing around in my head for the better part for two days. "Why were you upset the other day?"
Shifting her focus to a spot on the table, she pressed her lips into a thin line. It hadn't been my intention to put her on the spot like that, there simply was this burning need inside of me to know what or who had made her cry.
But I didn't want that information at any cost to her. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," I reassured .
She was quiet and unmoving for so long; I wasn't entirely sure whether she heard me.
Just as I opened my mouth to repeat what I'd said, she spoke, "For as long as I can remember, I wanted to dance.
It's a part of me as much as the organs that keep me alive.
" Her tone sounded as heartbroken as the expression on her face had been when she'd come home in tears.
Slowly, ever so slowly, she lifted her golden gaze to mine. What I saw made my heart hurt. "I was sad because someone told me following my dreams, doing what I love, is nothing more than a silly notion."
By the way her cheeks turned pink, I got the impression that she shared more than she'd intended. It still wasn't enough. As angry as I had been at the world, violence had never entered my mind.
But seeing the look in Maddie's eyes, remembering her tear-stained face; I wanted to find this asshole and force him or her to take back those hurtful words.
My body vibrated with an intense need to protect her from people like that.
People who thought nothing of stepping on someone else's dream.
Idiots who tried to snuff out the lights of people who shone brighter than them.
I had a feeling it was this need that pushed the words from my tongue before I had time to check myself. "That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. If it's what you want to do, you should do it. With the way you dance, you should be up on a stage somewhere."
Maddie's eyes narrowed dangerously. "How would you know? "
I shifted uncomfortably. Scrubbing a hand over the back of my neck, I searched for the right words to say. The ones that didn't make me sound like a complete creeper, even if it was true. "I've seen you on the beach in the mornings."
"You've been watching me?" It wasn't an accusation. I saw it in the soft way her eyes danced over my face.
Refusing to look away, I confessed, "I have. It happened by pure accident when I came outside one morning. The way you moved—" I shook my head, still remembering the feeling. "—touched something right here." My fingers came up and tapped against my chest.
Those eyes of her roamed over my face like they couldn't settle on one spot. Without thinking, I reached across the table and covered her hand with mine. When she sucked in a sharp breath, I quickly released her again. "Maddie, I'm sorry if knowing that makes you uncomfortable. The thing is…"
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I drew in a steadying breath. "Your dancing is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Eyes taking up half of her face, Maddie's head slowly moved side to side. "I need a minute." And then she jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen.