23
ADAM
Like the idiot I was, I didn't stop Maddie from leaving when every cell in my body begged me to. Instead, I stared at her retreating back like a damn idiot. Thing was, I was scared shitless.
Everything about Maddie terrified me. Without even trying, she'd touched the darkest corners of my soul and breathed life into parts of me that I thought would forever stay dead. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to be around her. To touch her. To kiss her.
I'd been so close to doing just that and for all my cussing, I now realized the phone ringing when it did was probably a good thing. Because I didn't need to do it to know that one taste of Maddie would never be enough.
Sure, she'd wanted me to kiss her, but what then? What happened afterward? Would it even be possible to maintain a friendship—not that we were even there yet—after a hot and heavy make-out session?
I didn't think so.
And that right there was the reason I let her walk out.
When she was out of sight, I closed the door and rested my forehead against it. For her own sake, I'd give her space. Keep my distance until I had a handle on this all-consuming need I had for her.
I didn't have anything more than friendship to offer, plus I came with baggage that was even too heavy for me. Pushing off the frame, I busied myself with tidying up before I dragged my ass upstairs.
Since I knew sleep would be impossible with Maddie running laps through my mind, I headed for the guestroom and started painting. How utterly monochromatic my life was was painfully obvious with each stroke of white I applied to the walls.
I'd put money on the fact that Maddie would've chosen a color that was soft, feminine, and inviting. Just like her. The roller paused halfway; a string of curses fell from my lips. I couldn't even perform a simple task without thinking about her.
That was pretty much how the following two days went. I'd walk into the living room and the look on Maddie's face right before I almost kissed her would flash in front of me. The image would trigger a myriad of sensations in my body that either had me cursing a blue streak or going back upstairs.
Other times, I'd prepare the wood for the deck and instead of focusing on the task in front of me, I'd stare at her house like a freaking creeper. It was ridiculous to miss someone you hardly spent time with, but I did.
I wanted to see her. To ask her about her day, and much to my surprise, I wanted to give the little rat a scratch behind the ears. Which was why I found myself hopping over the fence on Friday night .
I would just have to deal with whatever the heck I felt because not seeing her at all was a hell of a lot worse than fighting the constant need to get my hands on her.
My brows pulled together in a deep frown when I approached the sliding door. It was halfway open with the curtains slowly blowing in and out of the house. Before I had time to knock, Sheldon started barking and came trotting out a few seconds later.
Dropping to my haunches, I gave him a scratch behind the ears which quickly turned into a belly rub when he flopped onto his back.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement by the curtains. "Holy shit," I muttered under my breath the instant I looked up. Maddie was leaning against the frame with one hand holding onto the door.
My gaze greedily, hungrily, raked over her body.
I started at her bare feet and slowly made my way up her toned legs and over the tiniest sleep shorts I'd seen.
On top, she was covered with a loose-fitting shirt that slipped over her shoulder.
It didn't escape me that there was no visible bra strap.
I ventured higher still. It was the first time she had her hair loose and my fingers itched to feel the strands against my skin. When I reached her eyes, those whiskey irises were guarded. Watching me thoughtfully.
"Hi," I croaked out. Giving Sheldon one last rub, I straightened, my gaze never leaving hers.
"You have something against the front door?" When my brows furrowed, Maddie clarified, "I always find you this side, never in front."
"Uh." I scratched the scruff on my chin. "It's closer…but I can use the front door if you'd like."
Her face was so serious, I got the impression she was about to tell me to get lost. That was until her lips twitched before stretching into a bright, beautiful smile. "I'm just messing with you. Wanna come in? I don't have fancy curry to offer you, but I did pick up a pizza after work."
I gave her a grin of my own. "Sounds good."
Maddie pushed off the frame and opened the door further.
I started moving but instead of going in, I stopped in front of her and got a whiff of her subtle strawberry scent.
Peering down the length of my nose at her, I pointed my index finger skyward.
"Are there mushrooms on this pizza? If there is, I'm gonna have to decline. "
Her eyes narrowed. "Your ass can stay outside then."
Splaying my hand over my chest, I pretended to be hurt. "You're mean."
"Nope, just hangry."
"Ah! Is this the part where you bite me then?"
Maddie's eyes leisurely traveled up and down the length of me. The way she was nibbling on her lip as she did, had me shifting from one foot to the other. When she pinned me with a stare that looked more like a heated promise, I knew I was beyond screwed.
"Maybe." How was it even possible for a voice so sugary sweet to sound downright sinful? I wanted to know what it would sound like when my name fell from her lips in a breathless whisper .
Shit. Wasn't this exactly why I'd stayed away for the past couple of days? To reel in these rampant thoughts. Get a grip on my hormones that were embarrassingly unstable.
"Relax." Maddie drew my attention back to her. "I won't bite. Not yet, anyway. And there are no mushrooms on the pizza. Just a lot of meat." Without waiting for a response, she spun on her heel and sauntered deeper into the house.
And because I liked the torture, my eyes stayed glued to her perfectly rounded ass until Sheldon's sharp yap interrupted me. With a lot of effort, I shifted my focus from Maddie to the little shit sitting at my feet. "What?"
Another shrill sound left his mouth before he trotted after his human, bushy tail in the air. I threw my head back and begged for the strength I needed to get through this night without so much as laying a finger on Maddie.
A task that was surely going to require superhuman strength since said fingers itched to explore every single inch of her body. After a few steadying breaths, I stepped inside and immediately smiled when some dance show was playing on her wall-mounted TV.
"What can I get you to drink?" Maddie called from the kitchen. "I have OJ, water, and the wine you brought over."
Frowning, I joined her. The bottle of wine still stood on the countertop. "I don't drink wine," she admitted softly.
My gaze immediately shot to hers. "You don't? "
Maddie shook her head, her cheeks turning the prettiest shade of pink. "Don't like the taste."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
In the space of a breath, she was standing in front of me with her fingers curled around my arm. As it did that night at my house, my skin felt alive under her touch. Jolts of electricity rushed through my veins and zapped at my heart.
Tilting her head back, she met my stare head-on. "What you did was so thoughtful, I didn't want to ruin the moment." Her lips curved into a shy smile. "I devoured the chocolates, though."
A chuckle rumbled through my chest. "I don't drink wine either."
The half-smile turned into a full-blown grin. "Well, look at that…We actually have something in common."
"I guess we do."
Maddie moved back to the fridge, and I immediately missed the warmth of her touch. After I told her I was good with just water, she pulled two bottles from the fridge and tossed me one.
I followed her back to the living room, where a pizza box was sitting on the coffee table. She flipped the lid and grabbed a slice for herself before plonking down on the couch and motioning for me to do the same.
It was only after both of us demolished two slices each that I broke the comfortable silence that'd fallen between us.
"So?" I eyed the TV for a beat before settling my gaze on her again. "This is what you get up to on a Friday night?"
She made a face. "I know. I'm the most boring twenty-four-year-old on the planet."
I'd known she was young; just didn't think I had a decade on her. Not that knowing her age suddenly changed things. I felt what I felt, it couldn't be helped.
"What's happening to your face?" Maddie leaned closer and made a show of inspecting me. "You look like you're doing math." Pulling her foot up, she tucked it under the leg dangling off the edge of the couch.
With a chuckle, I shook my head. "I was trying to think of an adequate word to describe you because boring isn't it.
" I, too, made myself comfortable. Turning sideways, I leaned back against the couch and spread my arm across the top of it.
The way her eyes softened and roamed over me, made me feel funny.
I couldn't remember when last someone looked at me like that. "What?" I croaked.
"You're sweet."
I scoffed. "I most definitely am not."
Leaning forward, way forward, she invaded my space. I balled my fingers into tight fists to keep from reaching for her. "That's what you want people to believe," she said seriously. "But I see you, Adam."
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her the man she saw was the one she brought out in me. I'd hurt enough people over the past three years to know there hadn't been too much good in me .
Because I couldn't handle the weight of her stare, I averted my gaze. What would she say or think if she knew about that part of me? If I admitted how horribly I'd failed the person I was supposed to love the most?
Her tastefully-decorated, memory-lined walls started to close in on me. The invisible band around my chest pulled taut, and the air refused to leave my lungs. I jumped up and surged through the open door where I could drag fresh, salty air to my lungs.
"Adam?" Maddie's warm, soft hand landed on my back and I swore under my breath. "I'm sorry if I overstepped."
Pinching my eyes shut, I bowed my head. The last thing she deserved was me freaking out on her. I took another deep breath through my nose and opened my eyes again. Pivoting slowly, I felt her hand drop from my back. Without thinking, I reached forward and grabbed her wrist.
Her pulse was racing against the tips of my fingers.
It matched my own heart's wild thundering.
"You didn't overstep," I assured her. "I'm not a good person, Maddie.
I've done things I am not proud of." I gave her a long, hard stare.
"And you really shouldn't look at me through rose-colored glasses. "
Maddie pressed her free hand against my chest, splaying her fingers across the general vicinity of my heart. "No one's perfect. And when I look at you, glasses or not, I like what I see."
"You shouldn't. "
She shrugged her bare shoulder. I wanted to lean down and sink my teeth into her skin just so I could lave it with my tongue. "There are a lot of things people tell me I shouldn't do, and yet I still do them."
"Like dancing?"
"Yeah." Gaze never leaving mine, her hand moved from my chest to my arm, the tips of her fingers brushing over the sharp lines of the ink crawling up my skin. "Tell me, Adam, are you passionate about something?"
It wasn't just the curiosity in her eyes that pushed me to speak; I actually wanted to tell her about this part of me.
This part that I hadn't spoken to anyone about in years.
"I used to be. Since I was a little boy, I'd wanted to fight fires.
It always fascinated me how firefighters ran into burning buildings when everyone else ran out.
The day I put out my first fire, I knew why.
There's this rush I can't explain. You know you might die doing it, but at the same time, you can't fight the pull it has. "
At the mention of firefighting, her eyes trekked over the scars visible to her, but she remained silent.
"How come you never ask me what happened?"
Maddie's stare never wavered. "It's not that I don't wonder about it because I do. It's just…I don't know." She shook her head slightly. "It's your truth to tell, and you should be able to do it when you're ready not whenever people ask."
I was done for.
This woman. This gorgeous, incredibly smart woman was burrowing so deep beneath my skin, I didn't think I'd ever get her out.
Or that I wanted to.