30
ADAM
What began as a shaky start turned out to be a not-so-bad afternoon. Eli and Molly were gone for most of it while my sister eagerly filled me in on her new life in Willow Creek and how much she adored being an art teacher.
It was impossible not to smile along with her. The happiness she exuded was infectious and honestly, I didn't mind it one bit. By the time her husband and daughter strolled back into the house, the tension in my body had gone from a ten to at least a five.
Molly's curious stares still made me want to go up to my room and close the door. Instead of hiding like I wanted to, I did a slow count to ten and forced my mind into a different direction.
It was a little more difficult to do when everyone piled into the kitchen with me when it was time to prepare dinner. I'd opted for a simple pasta dish that could quickly be slapped together with the hopes they'd give me the little space I needed.
Drawing strength from who knew where, I'd powered through their happy chattering and Zoe and Eli's public displays of affection.
Even though those were a little harder to stomach.
Not because it was my sister he was kissing like no one was watching, but rather because every time they shared a look, a touch, or a kiss, I thought of Maddie.
I hadn't heard from her all afternoon and it had me feeling restless. From her text that morning I'd believed she was going to stop by after she'd visited with her parents. Hell, a part of me was even looking forward to introducing her to Zoe.
But as the sun slowly started to make way for the moon and I still hadn't heard from her, I seriously doubted she was going to show up. My heart constricted at the thought of not seeing her.
Amazing how vital she'd become to my everyday life. How I needed to see her and talk to her to feel the peace I was always chasing. As I knew the case would be, my mind never wondered far from her. Not while we were eating or even when we collapsed onto the couches after that.
By the time my sister excused herself a little after eight with Molly bounding up the stairs after her, I kind of hoped Eli wanted an early evening too. Not only had I hit my cap on socializing for the next month, but I wanted to go see Maddie.
Because, shit, I missed her.
I wanted to touch her. Kiss her. Hold her.
I needed it as desperately as I needed air to breathe.
My thoughts were intruded upon when Eli cleared his throat from his perch on the couch opposite mine.
I was fully expecting him to finally give me a piece of his mind.
That was not what happened. He cleared his throat again, the sound almost uncomfortable.
With a slight cock of his head, his gaze flicked to the staircase.
"Being here with you means a lot to her," he finally said when his gaze met mine again.
"I don't need to know how things went down.
It ain't my business, but she is." Pausing for a beat, he gave me another look I was certain was meant to intimidate me.
"I'm not asking you to suddenly call her every day or come down for regular visits.
I am reminding you she loves you, and hearing from you more than once in a while puts a giant smile on her face. "
I held his stare as he pushed to his feet. Slowly, he walked across the room toward the stairs where he paused. "Thank you for making my wife smile today." With that, he pivoted and took the stairs two at a time until he too disappeared from view.
My brain was a jumbled mess I needed to clear.
Normally when I felt like this, I'd escape to the garage and put my body through a strenuous workout.
I didn't want that tonight. Straightening, I flicked off the television and quietly made my way to the glass door.
Careful not to make too much noise, I slid it open and slipped outside before sliding it shut in the same manner.
Soft light spilled from Maddie's living room and my heart thudded excitedly. The anticipation of seeing her, possibly even holding her, propelled me forward. My legs moving faster with every step I took.
In less than a minute, I'd hopped over the fence and rushed toward her door and almost choked on a laugh when it was shut completely. The curtains were pulled back though, giving me the perfect view of her curled up on the couch, eyes focused on the television.
One look at her and already my body relaxed. My chest expanded, and the calmness that only she could give started crawling over my skin. Stepping up to the door, I gave the glass two sharp taps.
Her head snapped my way and her lips slowly lifted into a smile. I swear, my heart just about gave out. Knowing she was at least somewhat happy to see me did things to me. Strange, inexplicable things I wanted so much more of.
Before she had time to get up, Sheldon was already standing on his hind legs, furiously scratching at the glass. That had me grinning because I had no clue why the little shit had latched on to me as he had. I just knew I owed him the biggest piece of steak for leading me to his human.
My person.
My Maddie.
Man, it was scary how far ahead of myself I was getting. There was no use in dancing around what I felt for her anymore. Without even trying, she'd slipped past every single one of my defenses and took up residence in my heart.
The door slid open with a low hiss. Sheldon immediately attacked my leg as if he hadn't seen me in days. As I always did, I stooped and gave him a quick rub behind the ears and on the belly before pushing to my feet again.
"Bewitched, I tell you." With her shoulder propped against the doorframe and arms tucked under her breasts, she nibbled on her lip. "He isn't the only one."
One look at her and my insides turned over. I was in front of her, cradling her cheeks in my palms before she had time to blink. "You were crying again." The words came out low and angry. Not at Maddie, but the person who'd caused her to hurt.
In contrast to her red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks, her lips spread into a smile. One that didn't look remotely forced. "They're not all sad tears." Her gaze held mine. "Wanna come in?"
"Yeah."
She took my hand and led me to the couch she'd just vacated. Once we were seated, Sheldon hopped on and made himself comfortable on my lap. Maddie gave her dog one look and immediately shook her head as she reached for the remote and turned off the television.
One of my hands dug into the fur on Sheldon's head while the other wrapped around Maddie's fingers. Her gaze immediately dropped to our connected hands. When she looked up at me again, I swear, I felt my heart split in half.
She looked broken and vulnerable but also strangely at peace.
"Remember how I told you about Lucetta and the dance studio?" I nodded and she swallowed before continuing. "Well, I have the opportunity to make it mine. So, this morning when I said I was going to see my parents, it was to ask them to help me. "
I didn't even think about the words, they just spilled from my lips without hesitation. "If they can't help you, I can. I have more than enough savings. Whatever you—"
"Adam," Maddie gently interrupted my rambling. She let go of my hand and scooted closer to press her palm against my cheek. Eyes flicking between mine, she whispered, "You sweet, sweet man."
"Is that why you're sad," I pressed. "Because they said no?"
Her hand found mine again. "No, not really.
My mom and I had a heart to heart today—our first one ever—and I learned things.
Big things that will take a while to process but have already given me some sense of understanding.
" She shook her head, an embarrassed laugh blowing over her lips. "Am I even making sense?"
"So much." I reached forward to cup the back of her neck and Sheldon moaned in protest. Chuckling at the way too comfortable dog, I tugged Maddie's face to mine. "When you're ready, will you tell me about it?"
She shut her eyes and ran her nose along mine before pulling away.
With those beautiful eyes trained on me, she smiled and said, "I'm ready.
" The story she told me after those two words was devastating.
And even though, I could maybe understand why her dad acted the way he had, my heart shattered into a million pieces for the little girl who never understood why.
When she was done, I immediately took her face in my hands. "Oh, baby. I hate you had to go through all of that." My thumb brushed over her cheek before sliding down to follow the line of her cupid's bow. "That why you didn't come over today?"
"Mostly, yes." She licked her lips, the tip of her slick tongue catching the pad of my thumb. "I saw an SUV I haven't seen on the block before parked in front of your house. I didn't want to disturb in case you had company."
"It's my brother-in-law's."
Her eyes went wide, eyebrows shooting up. "Your sister was visiting you?"
"Still is. They're asleep in my guest room. But I wanted to see you, so I snuck out."
Maddie's gaze roamed over my face for what felt like an eternity. "Why?"
I'd been so focused on the hurt in her eyes when I'd arrived, I'd forgotten I'd come over to lay my ugly truth at her feet.
To confess my failures and pray like hell she'd want me.
Only now I wasn't so sure I had the courage to go through with it.
Because if Maddie walked away from me today, I wouldn't survive it.
I let go of her face and bowed my head, working my clammy palms up and down my thighs.
"Adam." Maddie's hand landed on my shoulder. "What's going on?"
Chin still pressed to my chest; my gaze flicked to hers. "There are things about me I need you to know."
"Okay," she said softly. "You can tell me anything."
Shit! Could I do this? Could I really cut open these wounds and show her how nasty they were? I didn't know. But damn if I wasn't going to try .