36
ADAM
The weights in my hands fell against the concrete floor with a loud clank. I chuckled bitterly when the hollow sound disturbingly matched the hole inside my chest. The stupid space behind my breastbone that suddenly had feelings after years of being numb.
As much as I hated the dull ache inside my heart that seemed to find new heights with every thump against my ribs, I didn't wish it away. Because buried beneath the hurt and confusion was everything I felt for Maddie.
And I could never wish her away.
It'd taken me a good few hours to accept the possibility that I might've overreacted. Make no mistake, being around people scared the shit out of me. The way their eyes always lingered had a direct line to the part of my brain where my confidence stemmed from.
What I had failed to let sink in was the fact that these weren't just any people Maddie wanted to introduce me to. It was her family and friends. The people closest to her. Her inner circle.
And she wanted to include me in that .
Shit! I wasn't just screwed up; I was a gigantic ass too. I fell back on the bench and threw a sweaty arm over my equally sweaty forehead. With a heavy sigh, my eyes roamed over the ceiling.
I needed to see her, talk to her. Make this right between us because there was no way I could let her go. Not without a fight. And definitely not when I knew she felt the same way about me.
Maddie's mouth might say one thing, but those whiskey eyes that could see into the very bottom of my soul? They could never lie. Buried deep inside her and loving on her body, I'd not only felt her love, I'd seen it too.
Dropping my arm, I pushed to my feet and grabbed the towel dangling over the barbell.
With jerky movements, I dragged it over my face and damp hair.
My arm screamed in protest at the simple task, an indication that I'd spent way too long brooding, throwing around weights when I should've dragged my ass next door.
Not even two minutes later, I hopped over the fence and all but ran up to Maddie's glass door. When I noticed that the curtains were drawn and the door pulled shut, I threw my head back and barked out a laugh.
How damn ironic. The one day I needed to see her, she made sure no one was getting in. I knocked and knocked some more, my heart sinking to my feet with every agonizing minute that passed.
After what felt like an eternity, I stepped back and swiped my hand over my mouth.
Reaching behind me, I pulled my phone from my pocket and swiped the screen to life.
My heart's nervous rhythm almost deafening while I scrolled to her number and pressed the device against my ear.
Instead of Maddie's sweet voice filtering through the line, a generic one informed me she was unavailable and to leave a message.
If my fingers hadn't been curled so tightly around the device, I might've given in to the need to toss it across her yard. I didn't want to leave a damn message. I wanted to talk to Maddie.
Rubbing my thumb and index finger over my eyebrows, I dropped my chin to my chest and let out a heavy breath. Knots twisted and turned in my stomach, hopelessness crashing over me like a big angry wave.
Where was she?
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement by the curtains. My head snapped up, heart furiously trying to hammer its way out of my chest. The curtain moved again, I held my breath and waited to see her beautiful face appear at the other side of the glass.
Unfortunately, when the curtain shifted once more, it wasn't Maddie standing there but rather Sheldon. On his hind legs, he was pawing at the glass with super speed. His normal yapping replaced with a melancholic howl I'd never heard before.
Even the damn dog knew how I'd screwed up.
Crouching down, I pressed my hand against the glass and felt my heart make a funny dip when Sheldon's wet nose immediately squished against it on his side. Apparently, I loved the little shit almost as much as I loved his owner.
"I'll make it right, buddy, I promise."
There was a plan forming in my head as I slowly straightened. The mere thought of what I was contemplating doing had my stomach rolling with nausea and my heart beating ten times too fast.
I'd push past all of it for the opportunity to tell the woman I loved how much she meant to me.