Chapter 26
I was emotionally wrung out and bone-deep happy all at the same time. People always talked about what a difference a day could make, and I’d never really understood it until right now.
Scott, my Scott, was standing next to me in my kitchen, diligently slicing bell peppers and sending me bashful smiles as he did.
That wasn’t what was so striking though. It was that his shoulders weren’t kissing his ears anymore and he had a lightness in him I’d only ever seen a handful of times in all the years I’d known him.
“What do you keep staring at?”
“You,” I said simply.
“Did I do something wrong with the peppers?”
“No.” I shook my head and lifted up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “You’re different is all.”
He tensed and I ducked under his arm so I was between him and the counter. With his front to my back, I added the prepared veggies to the large pan I’d seared the meat and onions in and set it all to a slight simmer, spinning in his arms when it was done.
“You seem like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders and I’ve only ever seen that a few times before.”
His brow pinched. “The other night. When I slipped out of bed to go to the bathroom, you were sleeping so soundly, I couldn’t help but just stare at you. You seemed so peaceful. So content.”
His eyes softened slightly. “I was. For the first time in what felt like forever, I had everything I had ever wanted. You in my arms.”
“But then . . .”
“Yeah, then I fucked it all up.”
I cupped his cheeks in my hands and stared up at the face that had both changed and stayed the same in equal measure. Sometimes I looked at him and still saw all his boyhood charm, and other times I saw the warrior he’d morphed into right in front of my eyes.
Tonight, I saw a mixture of both.
“I’m not going to lie to your face and tell you your actions didn’t hurt me. They did. But now I can see it from your point of view, I understand.”
“No—”
“Scott. Don’t. You’ve been hurting for so long. I’m so glad you’ve unburdened yourself. And for goodness’ sake, give yourself some grace. Hate to break it to you buddy, but I’m 90 percent sure you’re a human being and we mere mortals sometimes hurt the people closest to us. That’s just life.”
“I hate feeling weak.”
I shook my head. “Loving someone doesn’t make you weak. And missing someone doesn’t either. Nor does carrying trauma or wanting to protect everyone you care about. Come on, you know better than that. Stop being so hard on yourself.”
“Will you ever be able to forgive me for the things I said? The way I bolted. Nothing was real that morning. It was all lies. The only true part was the way I felt when I woke up wrapped around you.”
I lifted my thumb and held it out to the side, the way Commodus does in Gladiator—a movie that still sits proudly in Scott’s top ten—and then I pointed it upward.
He chuckled and pressed his forehead to mine. “I don’t know what I love more. Your sweet, kind heart, or this juicy . . .”
I squealed as he squeezed and kneaded my butt, making me laugh.
He pressed his lips softly to mine and hummed.
“Not gonna ever get tired of this,” he muttered.
“I like it too,” I told him.
“Gonna make everything up to you. Show you what you mean to me.”
“You mean the world to me too.”
He nodded. “You’ve never made me doubt it. Never made me feel unimportant, even in the pursuit of your dreams. You took me with you. And I kept you here.” He held my hand over his heart. I felt the rhythmic beat. He was so warm.
“I can’t believe I get to touch you like this,” I whispered reverently.
“You can touch me any time you want from now on.”
I could sense the heaviness from moments ago starting to ease so I grinned and arched an eyebrow. “Anytime?”
“Anytime, anywhere, baby.”
My cheeks flushed hot at his words.
“Oh, you like that.” His eyes twinkled as he said it.
I bit my lip and nodded.
His fingers slid from mine and trailed up my ribcage.
“She likes dirty talk in the bedroom and sweet nothings in the kitchen . . . I can do that.”
“Scott.” I playfully swatted his shoulder.
“Oh, don’t think I haven’t been playing the words you said and the things you did on a loop for the past week.”
How it was possible to blush even harder, I didn’t know, but here I was proving it as fact. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed per se, it was more the fact that he brought out a side in me I had no idea existed.
Maybe it was just a Scott and Jenna thing. Sunday morning aside, this man and the boy he once was could never truly hurt me. Would always protect me.
Of that I was sure.
“I . . . I felt the safest I’d ever been. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
He groaned and his lips found my neck. “You’re telling me I’m the only man you’ve ever teased that way? Spreading your legs wide for me. Offering yourself up like the delicious treat you are?”
My breath hitched. “Yes.”
He nipped at my ear lobe, and it was like the strike of a match. I shuddered and his eyes blazed.
“How about when you took my hand and placed it where you wanted me? Over your tight, needy clit.”
Said clit throbbed and I squeezed my thighs together.
“And when my tongue was fucking you and you begged me for more?”
Oh man, I really, really did like this.
“I’ve never been that vocal before. Didn’t know I liked it until it was happening?—”
He cut my words off with a blistering kiss.
“How long do we have?” he managed when he pulled away, gasping for much-needed air.
I side-eyed the concoction simmering away. “About fifteen minutes.”
He picked me up by my thighs, carried me around to the front of the couch, and sat down with me straddling him. I dove to capture his lips with my own. It felt good initiating the kiss. Finally taking what I wanted, when I wanted. Just like he said I could and knew I would.
His hands fisted the material of my long chiffon skirt, and he began to gather it up at my hips, all the while his tongue meeting mine stroke for stroke, and then dropping his hands to my bare thighs.
His grip was wide and tight as he inched toward where I needed him so badly.
My need for him seemed to intensify now we were . . .
Huh.
I pulled away and he chased my lips. I lifted my fingers to his mouth, stopping him in his tracks, and he grazed his teeth over the pads of my fingers.
“We . . .” My eyes flicked to the side. “You told me you loved me.”
His brow furrowed. “I did.”
“And I told you I loved you.”
He closed his eyes. “Fuck, Jenna. Those words leaving your mouth like that. I’ve waited too damn long.”
I couldn’t help it when I kissed him again, but I kept it chaste. I had to ask my question.
“Well, I don’t want to presume, but, like, what are we agreeing to? Dating? This, this isn’t a friends with?—”
“Don’t even say it.”
I didn’t realize my head had dipped until I felt his fingertips under my chin, coaxing me to look at him. I didn’t think I could have done it, no matter how much I wanted whatever he would have given me. I’d already had him and wanted more. I couldn’t have thrown an agreement like that into it.
Not with him.
“Cupcake, I just told you my deepest darkest fear, and on top of that, I told you I’ve been harboring feelings for you. Big, big feelings for you since sophomore year. I’d say that lands us in forever territory, wouldn’t you?”
His words swirled around us, and I basked in their warmth. How many times had I wished for this? How many times had I dreamt this up?
I’d resigned myself to the fact that I’d only ever have him in my heart and while I slept.
The blurry telltale signs warned of the tears welling in my eyes, but I fought to contain them. He may have been holding on to his feelings and emotions for a long time, but so had I. And finally, we were looking at really giving this a try.
I smiled. “So, we’re dating . . . exclusively?”
“Yes. Exclusively,” he growled, “and you’re my girlfriend.”
“Okay, but should we slow down? I mean, this is a big step.”
He grinned. “Is it though?”
I searched his deep-blue eyes, somehow they were darker in this light. He wasn’t hiding from me anymore. My palms settled on each side of his face, and I swept my thumb over his two-day-old scruff.
I could give him forever. I could give him everything.
“So, we’re still best friends who are dating and I’m your girlfriend and we love each other?”
“That pretty much sums it up, yeah.”
“We’re in a frelationship.”
He chuckled and sighed. “If you must.”
“Scott, I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
“Believe it.”
He surged forward and kissed me like he meant it, his fingers finding lace. I moaned as he deftly moved my panties out of the way and slid two fingers inside me. I ground down on them at the feeling of fullness, although I knew there was no comparison between those and the steel hard length that was pressing against my stomach.
“Umm,” I said into his mouth as he added a third.
“Want to make sure you’re ready,” he muttered.
“I’m so, so ready. Please.”
“You don’t want to come on my hand?”
I shook my head. “No, I need to come on your cock.”
His eyes flared and he withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his mouth. I watched as he sucked them between his lips.
“You taste like mine,” he rasped.
Holy hell, that was hot.
Then he released them with a pop and tapped my leg. “Lift.”
I did exactly as he asked, rising up on my knees and holding the chiffon so he could relieve himself of the sweats he was wearing.
I was busy committing the sight of the muscles in his shoulders and biceps flexing when I felt a tug on my panties and then the snap of material. The garment fell away from my hips. Then the tip of his cock was nudging at my entrance.
“You asked for it. You take it.” He smirked and then he settled back against the couch.
I didn’t need to be told twice, although he was going to pay for ripping the only pair of underwear that went perfectly with this skirt.
I sank down and did so, but at a glacial pace. Scott threw his head back and hissed through his teeth.
He bucked up but I lifted higher on him again.
“You little tease,” he gritted out.
“You ripped my panties,” I said as I licked the shell of his ear.
“I’ll buy you ten pairs. Fuck, just sit on my dick already.”
I clenched around the inches I could, and he groaned.
“That’s it.” He clamped his hands around my hips, holding me still. He thrust upward in one deliciously long move, biting down on my left breast through the silk shirt I wore.
I gasped and then let out a low groan at the zing of pain and the pleasure of feeling utterly full.
He untucked and tugged until my breasts were bared to him and then he licked and sucked on them until I thought I’d come right there and then.
I fought against the hold he had on me, and he relinquished all the control back to me so I could set the pace.
There was no teasing or taking it slow this time. I rose and fell hard and fast. Then I did it again and again.
I’d never felt so desperate for someone, and being driven by my need made me feel powerful. The look on his face, the way his neck strained, the feel of his palms on my skin—I just couldn’t get enough. It was the closeness I was fast becoming addicted to. He gave so much of himself away. For his family, in his job. But this—the intimacy—it was only ours.
“Fuck, Jenna.”
I repeated the action over and over, relishing the feeling of him inside me. Didn’t matter that my quads began to burn or that my knees were digging into the sofa.
Our mouths connected, hot and wet, and he fucked his tongue into me the way he drove his cock.
Scott palmed my ass cheeks through the chiffon that was still ruffled around me, taking over and changing the angle only slightly, but it was exactly what I needed.
“This ass is mine. You’re finally mine,” he chanted, squeezing tight.
My hands slid up his sweat-slicked skin and grasped onto his neck. My stomach clenched as my body wound tighter, and I fought to keep up with the pace that had turned frenzied.
He met me thrust for thrust, over and over as my hands held onto his shoulders. My eyes fell closed, and his thumb found my clit.
“Eyes on me, cupcake.” My gaze flew open and locked on his.
He nodded and grunted, “Now take me with you.”
Scott had said those perfect words each time we’d made love the other night and I loved that we were so in sync. So in tune. We’d fallen for each other alone and now we could fall apart together.
Every atom inside me exploded and I came apart as he did the same, our foreheads touching, ragged breaths mingling, completely lost in each other just as the oven timer started to beep.