Chapter 21 Julian #2
“I don’t know when,” I interrupt, the words tumbling out now that the dam has broken.
“Or how. I don’t know when it crossed the line from history into present tense, from what we were into what we are.
I just know it did. Even after all this time, after all the water under the bridge, after years of believing I hated him, here I am.
In love with the man I thought I’d lost forever.
The man I blamed for ruining my life. Crazy, right? ”
Cyaire lets out a low whistle, the sound appreciative and slightly awed. “Damn, Jules.”
“Cyaire,” Eli snaps, his manager instincts kicking in even as his world tilts sideways.
“What?” Cyaire shrugs, completely unbothered by Eli’s sharp tone.
“I’m impressed. Terrified for what this means for his career, sure, but mostly I’m impressed.
Julian’s been carrying around some heavy baggage for a long time.
If he can forgive like this, whole-heartedly, completely, then there’s hope for us mere mortals. ”
Eli turns back to me, his voice tight with barely controlled panic. “This is reckless, Julian.”
I nod, surprisingly calm in the face of his distress. “I know.”
“You’re in the middle of a European leg of a high-profile charity tour with one of the most visible artists on the planet.
” He states the obvious as if I haven’t repeated the same litany of concerns to myself a thousand times since we arrived in London two weeks ago.
“Every move you make is being watched, documented, analyzed.”
“I know.” The repetition feels like a meditation, grounding me in this new reality.
“You’ve spent your entire career, your entire adult life, building what you have now. You’ve worked so fucking hard, Julian. You’ve earned respect, financial security, professional freedom. Safety.”
“I know.”
“And you’re risking it all for—”
“For love. For him. I. Know.” The last word comes out stronger than the rest, carrying the weight of decision behind it. The word doesn’t shake this time. It sits in the room like a fact, immutable and true.
Eli stares at me for a long moment, really looking, as if he’s seeing me clearly for the first time in years.
“And this,” he says slowly, his voice careful and measured, “this is why you’ve been lingering after shows instead of heading straight back to the hotel.
Why you’ve stopped leaving early to avoid crowds.
Why you weren’t in your room the other night when I knocked at midnight because I was worried something had happened to you. ”
“Yes.” The admission comes easily now.
“And Roderick—”
“Has been keeping my movements private. He and Malik’s security team coordinate our discretion. Don’t blame him for not keeping you informed. I specifically told him not to tell you. This was my choice.”
Eli closes his eyes briefly, and I can almost see him counting to ten, drawing on every meditation technique and anger management strategy he’s learned in his years of handling temperamental artists.
When he opens them again, his voice is calmer, more controlled, though I can see the effort it’s costing him.
“You’re a grown man,” he says carefully. “I don’t need to know your every move, and I can’t tell you who to love or who to sleep with. But this? This has consequences that go far beyond just you.”
“I know,” I say again, and I mean it.
Cyaire stands then, unfolding from the couch with that easy grace. He crosses the room in a few long strides and claps a warm hand on my shoulder, the gesture solid and reassuring.
“All I know,” he says, his voice warm with genuine affection, “is that my brother looks like he’s finally breathing real air instead of holding his breath. So, I’m voting for team. . .what would you call it? Julik? Malian?”
Eli glares at him with the exhausted patience of a man watching his carefully constructed world crumble in real time. “This isn’t a pep rally, Cyaire.”
“No,” Cyaire agrees easily, undaunted by Eli’s disapproval.
“It’s a turning point. And turning points are scary as hell, but they’re also where life actually begins.
Looks to me like Jules has a mountain to climb, and what he needs right now is a boost from the people who matter most in his life.
I, for one, will gladly be a stepping-stone to help him get where he’s going. ”
The silence that follows is different from the others, not empty, but full of weight and possibility.
My brother has always had a gift for cutting through complexity to find the simple truth at the center, and I have to fight hard to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over.
Then I straighten my shoulders, feeling something solid settle into place in my chest.
“I don’t want this to stop,” I say, my voice steadier than I expected. “I don’t know if I’m ready to come out to the world tomorrow, to have every detail of my private life splashed across tabloids and dissected by strangers who think they own pieces of me.”
Eli’s jaw tightens, as he prepares to launch into damage control mode, but I hold up a hand to stop him.
“But if it happens,” I continue, “I’ll deal with it. We’ll deal with it. If Reality Records decides I no longer fit their image, if they try to cut me loose because loving Malik makes me too risky an investment, then fine. I walk.”
Eli’s eyes widen, genuine shock replacing the controlled panic. “You’re talking about independence.”
“I am,” I say, folding my arms across my chest, feeling the strength in my own stance.
His voice drops to barely above a whisper. “You want to leave Reality Records.”
“Maybe,” I say, and the word feels like freedom.
“After everything Damon Stone has put me through over the years. After a decade of walking on eggshells, of editing myself down to nothing, of being afraid to breathe too loudly? Maybe that’s exactly what freedom looks like.
I’ve been meaning to discuss this possibility with you, Eli, even before Malik came back into my life. ”
Eli rubs his face with both hands, then lets them drop to his sides. When he looks at me again, the anger has drained away completely, replaced with something heavier and more complex, fear, yes, but also a grudging respect.
“If you do this,” he says quietly, his voice thick with emotion, “if you really go down this road, I’m with you. I won’t pretend it won’t be messy as hell. There will be consequences, professionally and personally. But I won’t abandon you, Julian. We’ve been through too much together for that.”
My throat tightens with unexpected emotion, and I have to swallow hard before I can speak.
Cyaire pumps a fist in the air like he just watched his team score the winning goal.
“Hell yes! Eli, you’re officially the best manager in the business.
I may need you to take me on as a client too.
Do you represent actors? Because I have a feeling I’m going to need some serious career guidance after my brother becomes the most talked-about jazz pianist in the world. ”
I laugh despite myself, the sound coming out shaky and slightly breathless. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.”
“You’re dating Malik Carter,” he says with a grin that could power the entire venue. “Ridiculous left the building the moment you decided to fall in love with one of the most famous men in the world.”
I look between them, my brother, grinning like he just watched me grow wings, and my manager, wary but unshakably loyal despite the professional chaos I’m about to unleash on both our lives. Two people who know now. Two people who are choosing to stand by me anyway.
“I guess,” I say softly, wonder creeping into my voice, “this is really happening.”
Eli nods once, decisive despite the uncertainty ahead. “Looks like it.”
Cyaire squeezes my shoulder, his hand warm and steady. “I’m proud of you, Jules. Scared out of my mind for what comes next, but proud as hell.”
The words settle into my chest, warm and steady as a heartbeat, filling spaces I didn’t realize had been empty for so long.
Whatever comes next, the press, the label executives, the inevitable conversations with our parents, the professional fallout, I’ll face it when it arrives. Right now, I have my pillars ready and waiting to hold me up when the ground starts shaking.
This is a monumental time in my adult life, I’ve stepped off the ledge of perfect safety, and I don’t regret the fall. I can’t regret it, because I know exactly where I’m falling to. The fall will lead me directly into Malik’s arms, and that, that’s worth everything.