40. Recuperating
40
RECUPERATING
Mara
I’d never been more thankful for Sunday to arrive.
I kneeled between my store’s shelving units as I slipped the last product label into its plastic sleeve. I’d spent the day reorganizing everything—a chore I’d been postponing for months. Today was the perfect day for the job. I needed busy work to distract me from all this bad publicity.
Since Ghost of a Chance was closed on Sundays, there were no customers—which was just as well, since my shelves were nearly bare.
Those empty, vacant expanses reminded me of the first time I’d walked in here after Chance had died. I’d expected to feel Chance’s presence that day, but I’d felt nothing of him, as if the car crash had truly erased him. As I’d walked through the store, hoping to sense him, I’d only felt a deep sense of loss. Everything in the store had been too new, too functional, too unartistic. Chance hadn’t poured his soul into this place yet. Not the way I had over the past year.
Maudlin, I know. I was in that sort of mood though. The W-ZZZ news story had been a punch to my self-confidence, making me stagger back a few months to where I’d been just after my breakup with Doug. What if all my suppliers cut off my credit again? I didn’t know if I could come back from that sort of setback a second time.
Rationally, I understood that Ford hadn’t done anything wrong. The sabotage was all Doug’s doing. Even so, I was angry with Ford for opening the door to all that negative media attention. If he hadn’t told Chris Pitt my store was having problems, none of this would have happened. Sure, Chris had been the one who’d tweeted, but Ford never should have overshared in the first place.
Someone tapped on the glass, making me yelp in surprise. I looked up to see Lianna peering through the window at me. My nerves must still be raw.
I heaved myself to my feet, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. “I lost track of time,” I said as she came inside.
Lianna looked around the store appreciatively. “You’ve been busy. I like what you’ve done with the place.”
I took in the new layout. “It does look decent. This arrangement gives me better sight lines between the shelves. Plus, my bestselling comics have more space, so I won’t have to restock them as often.”
“I see you’re putting Chance’s comics right here up front.” Lianna’s finger slid over the plastic shelf label for Ghost .
“He deserves it. We nearly sold out yesterday. He’d have been thrilled.” Of course, once Ford announced that he was making Ghost into a movie, I’d probably be selling a lot more of Chance’s comics. I needed to prepare for that.
“I’m impressed. You did a great job handling all that chaos.”
“Thanks, but it’s not like I had much of a choice.” Looking at the shop’s new layout filled me with a sense of accomplishment. Neatening things up had been a nice change of pace from my normal daily grind.
Grind? Well, yes. This place could be a great big pain in the butt sometimes. Other times, I loved it.
Maybe I should start reaching for more. With the movie, I bet I could leverage the publicity and get Chance’s comics out to more people. The publicity would be on my terms, though.
“I’m starving. Are we still going to Not a Yacht Club?” Lianna asked.
“Absolutely,” I said, feeling more lighthearted. “It’s open mic night. If we get there soon, we should still be able to grab a good table.”
“Let’s get moving.”
A minute later, we were striding down the sidewalk toward the river. The bright June sun beat down on my bare head. It was good to be outside after being cooped up all day.
“Chris Pitt is really nice.” Lianna sounded surprised. “Not at all what I expected from a movie star.”
“I can’t imagine living my life in the public eye like that.” I shuddered.
Lianna shot me a look of pity that made me wonder?—
“I guess you saw the news last night,” I said.
“That reporter was an ass.” Lianna wrapped her arm around my shoulders in a quick hug that made us both wobble. “I bet he’s friends with Doug. Don’t let the trolls get to you.”
I could see the Not a Yacht Club parking lot just ahead, and it was only half-full. “I blame Ford,” I admitted. “He shouldn’t have just shown up with Chris like that.” Lianna opened her mouth, but I kept talking over her, not wanting to hear her defend him. “I’m trying to forgive him. I know it was unintentional, but I’m still irritated with him.”
It wasn’t just about Ford’s mistake. It was the feeling of losing control over everything I’d worked for. First Doug, then my dad’s constant criticism, and now Ford—unintentionally or not—had put me in the middle of something bigger than I could handle.
“I can see how you could be upset with the whole situation.”
What would happen once Ford announced that he was making Ghost ? Would my store be inundated with Chris Pitt fans? Would everything start to spin out of my control? And what would Doug do to sabotage me once he found out?
I came to a dead stop on the sidewalk. My chest tightened as I suddenly had a vision of what could happen to my life. Ford’s movie would mean everyone in the country would know about Ghost . Heck. Everyone in the world. This movie could shove me into the limelight, whether I wanted it or not.
My back stiffened. “I need to stick to the plan Chance and I made. I can’t let anyone sabotage it. Not Doug. Not my dad. Not even Ford.” Not that Ford would do it intentionally, but I needed to take control of my end of things. My store. Chance’s comics.
It hit me that I needed to talk to his agent, Amy Tate, about all these new developments. Maybe she had some ideas about how I could control everything to keep it from spinning away from me.
“Whoa.” Lianna shot me a confused look. “That’s a strange list. I get Doug, but your dad? Ford? What have they ever done to sabotage you?”
I blinked rapidly. Lianna didn’t know about the movie. Not yet. And Ford hadn’t given me the go-ahead to tell anyone. How could I explain how overwhelmed I felt and why I was freaking out?
I cleared my throat as we came to the restaurant parking lot. “Dad thinks I never should have left Stel-Wood. He’s constantly undermining me. Poking at me whenever he gets a chance. When I was a kid, he’d go behind my back and interfere in my life. He can’t keep his opinions to himself, and I’m getting really tired of his constant criticism. And Ford… “I shook my head, thinking about the movie and the effect it would have on my life. “Our relationship is still new. We’re in that stage where we’re getting to know each other. Trust is a big deal to me. Ford never should have told Chris about my store’s problems.” Heck, I was bending over backward right now to keep his secret about the movie. He owed me just as much discretion.
“But your store is having problems,” Lianna said, still looking confused. “He was trying to help. You’re not being fair.”
I shook my head. “He went about it in the worst possible way. He got all nebby, telling Chris about stuff that was none of his business.”
“Nebby?” Lianna’s eyes danced with laughter. “You’ve only lived here a year and you’re already using that word? Our Pittsburgh slang is rubbing off on you.” She pushed open the door to Not a Yacht Club.
The garage-sized doors facing the river on the main floor were open and a gentle breeze wafted in. The hostess on duty took us to a table not far from the stage and handed us menus, saying our waitress would be there in a moment.
I spotted Conner doing something with a big electronic console near the stage. He waved at us but kept working while our waitress returned to take our orders.
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around that list of saboteurs you just rattled off,” Lianna said once we were alone again. “I get Doug, and now it makes sense that your dad made the list—but Ford? I still don’t understand why you’d lump him in with the others. He screwed up telling Chris, sure, but he made a mistake. Your dad and Doug have gone out of their way to be hurtful. Ford believes in you.”
I hesitated, wishing I could tell Lianna about the movie deal and the problems I was afraid would come with it. The film was a godsend, of course, but the enormity of the changes I’d be facing terrified me.
I ached to tell her. The words almost slipped out, but I clamped my mouth shut. I couldn’t betray Ford’s trust, not after I’d been so angry about his breach of mine. Secrets sucked. But they sucked even more when they kept me from the one person who might actually understand.
Lianna was right, though. I was overreacting. After the way Doug had treated me, I’d become overly sensitive to anything that smacked of meddling. Even Chris Pitt’s attempt to help had pissed me off.
I sighed. “I feel like I’m losing control of my own life because of what other people are doing. Chris is the one who sent out that tweet, and yes, I realize it was essentially a really nice favor. What gets to me is that I was afraid the worst might happen—and then it did, thanks to Doug.” I sighed. “At least Ford knows how devious Doug can be now. God, I wish that asshat was out of my life.”
Our drinks arrived, giving me a moment to think this through. I took a long sip of my mojito. The arguments I offered Lianna were no more than straw men for her to knock down—crappy, empty straw man arguments that had no substance—all because I’d promised Ford not to tell anyone about the movie.
Secrets sucked.
I poked at the ice in my drink, aching to tell her about the movie.
Lianna simply stared at me, making me feel self-conscious.
“What?” I snapped.
“I’m wondering if this is some sort of weird, delayed reaction to you losing your brother and having Doug screw with your life because you aren’t making a lot of sense.”
The microphone on stage let out a squeal and Conner scrambled to shut it off. Lianna rubbed her ear but continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “It seems as though you’re carrying around a lot of baggage and holding Ford responsible for it.”
“Whoa.” hit harder than I wanted to admit. Even though I’d just done my best to hide my real concerns, Lianna had cut straight to the root of my problem. I slumped into my chair. How had she figured it out through all the half-truths I’d just fed her?
Maybe I was seeing shadows where there weren’t any. But after what I’d been through with Doug, it was easier to anticipate betrayal than to believe in someone—especially someone like Ford, who’d already shaken my trust without even knowing it.
“I should point out that even though Doug was an ass, you have lots of excellent friends who are nothing but supportive,” Lianna said. “Look at how many people showed up yesterday to help you. Not everyone is out to get you. Only Doug. The man’s nuts. Please don’t hold Ford accountable for someone else’s actions.”
She was right, of course. I crunched on a piece of ice as I watched Conner step onto the stage. Open mic night was about to commence. “How are you able to see things so clearly?”
“Probably because I’m watching your life rather than living it,” she said kindly. “It’s hard to be an impartial observer when you’re at the center of things.”