Chapter 7 #2
I reached for my wine and took a fortifying sip. “What? Why?”
I heard rustling. “Okay, I’m coming over. This is just too much to do here on the phone.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I tapped my AirPod. “Luna?” I went over to my phone, and yep, she was gone.
My stomach rumbled its displeasure from no food. I’d gotten a few bites of my steak lunch before Pig Shaw came over and ruined my appetite, and the few bites of cheese I’d had upon arriving home hadn’t done much.
Foraging in my fridge was close to fruitless. In the end, I went with more wine and a pair of Pop Tarts with a bag of Boom Chicka Pop for when Luna arrived.
I dumped a bunch of the sea salt caramel popcorn in one of my reusable bags and downed my Pop Tarts like a starving woman using wine as a chaser. There was a knock just as I was wiping down my table.
“Since when don’t you just walk in?” I opened the door to find Luna with two huge bags in her arms and her crossbody boho bag stuffed to the gills. “My day wasn’t that bad.” I grabbed one of the bags.
“Cards say otherwise. And your freaking glowing aura. Girl, you are in trouble.”
“Isn’t it ‘you’re in danger, girl’?” I parroted the way Whoopi Goldberg said it in Ghost.
“I don’t think spirits are coming for your soul.” She gave me a once-over. “I hope.”
“Oh, stop.”
Luna smiled hugely and put down her bags before enveloping me in one of her bear hugs, which pretty much put her face in my boobs. “Goddess, you smell good.”
“Thanks.” I’d doused myself in one of my essential oil blends to try to get myself out of my funk. It wasn’t working. Even my chunky amethyst pendant couldn’t get rid of this bitchy mood. Maybe I should invest in a black tourmaline suit.
She slung her huge bag off her back and unearthed a few pouches of crystals along with her wand. Then she pulled out her decks and a bottle of wine.
“I have wine.”
She shrugged. “I wanted to try this new one. It’s a witchy wine maker from Luna Falls.
I mean, the town has my name. I had to try it.
” She lifted the bottle. Apothecary Wines was in a hand-drawn font scrawled over the front with an ink drawing of a pretty cove and waterfall with a full moon above it.
She tipped the bottle upside down. “It has amethyst and clear quartz blown into the glass.”
“Wow.”
“I know, right? I’m pretty much in love with the little pop up they had in town. The winery was more on the fringes of the town.” She righted the bottle and set it on the table. “We’ll have to take a trip. There’s a really cool crystal shop down the street.”
I grabbed the bottle. “Kinda crazy that you brought it over. I just ordered some of this for lunch.”
Her arms jangled as she reached into her bag for more treasures. “For lunch? That’s my kind of meal.”
I laughed. “No, for PMS and I when we were talking work.”
She glanced at me. “Work and wine on your first day? Hmm.”
“Do not start that again.”
Shrugging, she gestured to all the pouches on the table. “I have many pretties for you.”
“You don’t have to buy me stuff, Lu.” I plopped into the chair and pulled my foot up against my butt to rest my chin on my knee.
“So says the Debbie Downer.” She pulled out another huge bubble-wrapped piece and tore into the tape. “I knew I’d gotten this for you for a reason. Just didn’t know it at the time.” She spun the wrapped piece out until a blue and white skull was revealed. “Meet George.”
I laughed and cupped the dome of the sodalite skull. I could feel the calming influence already. Most of the crystals I had were gifts from Lu, other than the few I picked out myself. She had a knack. “Nice to meet you, George. You will look very pretty on my altar.”
“Right? I knew it would be perfect to pair with Julia.”
I shook my head, my mood already brightening from her presence. How could it not? She was pure sunshine.
Her short blond hair was in spiky space buns wrapped in magenta old school bubblegum-sized ball hair ties.
Her lips were a matching pink and sparkles winked on her eyelids.
A pair of denim cutoffs brushed the tops of her thighs, short enough that the pockets peeked from the bottoms. Three layers of tank tops and five layers of chains and crystals made up the rest of her outfit.
A lacy see-thru shirt tied around her waist added to the retro 90’s ensemble.
Magenta Doc Martens and cute lacy-topped white socks peeking from the top of her tall boots completed the look.
I picked up George and put him beside Julia, the amethyst skull I’d bought when I wanted to boost my intuition enough to open a virtual practice.
I’d been doing parties and fairs here and there, but when I finally became serious about reading cards for people, I’d had to do a lot of work to believe I was worthy to do it.
Reading cards for teenagers to fit in was one thing, but to actually heed the call to do it as a spiritual practice was very different. It wasn’t just about me anymore.
I murmured a few words and set some incense burning to welcome him to my home. By the time I got back to Luna, she had a crystal circle set up, wine poured, and the spread laid out.
“You weren’t kidding about this one.” I tapped the Ace of Wands, the center card of her wide diamond-shaped spread.
She slapped my hand away. “No reading my cards. You know the rules.”
I lifted the mason jar she’d filled for me with the new wine. No regular wine glasses for us. “Sorry.”
“Reading for tarot readers like you is the worst.”
“It is not.” I took a drink and licked my lips. “Mmm. I had something different from them today. Riesling. That was good, but this is delicious.”
“Right? New favorite wine.” She took a sip of her own and shifted my chair until I was cocked her way. “Normally, I’d do this on the podcast, but these cards are a little crazy.”
“Definitely not announcing any of this shit on our podcast.”
I didn’t mention PMS had listened to at least part of an episode, which was entirely my fault. I had invited him into our world, but I hadn’t expected he might want to hang out there.
“Announcing? Our listeners are our family.”
“Maybe so, but kooky Aunt Edna doesn’t need to hear about my…stuff.”
“You have an Aunt Edna? Why didn’t I know this? Is she a fan?” Luna was already whipping out her phone. “I’ll send her a Tramp pack. What’s her address?”
I rolled my eyes. “Metaphorically speaking. I don’t have an Aunt Edna.”
“Oh. Bummer.”
“Secondly, I am not interested in getting involved with PMS.”
Her musical laugh filled my kitchen. “That really is such a great nickname. And it fits his cards.” She ignored my declaration and tapped a short, sparkly nail on the uppermost card.
“All this Queen of Swords energy for both of you? You might as well each be wearing a forcefield of emotions. It’s gonna be a rocky one, but lots of orgasms.”
“Luna!”
“What? There’s lot of orgasms in this little setup here.
Wands for all the bang time stuff.” She took another sip of her wine.
“You know, physically speaking. But wow, there is so much mental energy. Then again, not surprising since you’re all wand and sword energy to begin with.
Impulsive girl with a lockbox on her heart. ”
She tapped the Three of Swords. “But this is complicated. See, actually, you both have lockboxes. That should be interesting.”
I leaned forward, clutching my glass. “What’s the placement?”
“Differences between you.”
I gave a sharp laugh. “Fits. He doesn’t believe in love at all. Divorce lawyer.”
“You are thinking about a relationship! I knew it.”
“No, it’s just an observation.”
“Hmm.”
“Would you cut that out?”
She reached for the popcorn. “Girl, it’s obvious he’s got you twisted up. I don’t need the cards to tell me that.”
“It’s more that I have to work for a man who is definitely repressed as hell.”
“Yeah, Justice card is right there for all his tightwad vibes. But I don’t know. You guys have a lot of stuff going on. And your aura is usually a pretty steady violet and right now, you’re a neon red. He’s got you all juicy, doesn’t he?”
“Gross.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t mean that. Though I bet you won’t need that little drawer of bonus lube to get your rocks off with him.”
“Hello? No one is getting any rocks off.”
“Hmm.”
“You say hmm one more time and I’m going to jam your wand up your nose.”
“So red.” She gathered the cards and started throwing more.
I got up from the table and the room spun a little. I definitely needed real food. “How about we order some Chinese?” I dug through my menu drawer.
“Veggie Lo Mein for me.”
I glanced back at her. “Since when are you a veg?”
“Just trying it out.”
I frowned at her.
“Okay, so my shorts are a little tight.”
I laughed and snagged the correct menu and hip-checked the door closed. “Ow. I really hit the pavement hard.” I rubbed my hip and tried to ignore the embedded soreness. Almost like a burn.
“Yeah?” She dug into her bag, “I have some CBD oil balm that helps. Let me see.”
“I can put it on myself, thanks.”
“Well, let me see if it needs more than the balm, silly.”
I rolled my eyes and lifted my shirt.
“Um, are those finger marks?”
I glanced down. “Of course not.” I tugged my yoga pants to the side and gasped. “What the hell is that?”
“I’d say love bruises, but you’d be in a better mood if they were.”
“Thanks.”
Lu shrugged. “I speak truth.”
I held my hand out for the balm.
She handed it over, still eyeing the faint fingerprints on my hip. He hadn’t touched me that roughly, but it was almost as if he’d branded me. “Hmm.”
“I’ll kick you out and steal your wine.”
“Testy, testy.” She stood and plucked the menu out of my hands. “Go chill out. I’ll order for us.”
Guilt clawed at me. “I’m sorry.”
She waved me away. “You’re just in denial and cranky with it. As soon as you get a few orgasms under your belt, it’ll clear you right up.”
“It’s not like I have a disease.” But I sat back down and held my wine against me. Would it be too much to get a straw?
“Your usual?”