Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
REMINGTON
“ A ll of the cameras and gates are in place,” I say to Chase. He just arrived out at the ranch after the news of the delivery to Erin at Bitterroot Valley Coffee Co. Erin and Bruiser should be pulling in at any time.
“Do you have cameras on the gates?” Chase asks.
“Several. Especially at the entrance that isn’t used as much. Only the family and the guys who work here have the code to the lock pad.”
“Good. I suggest you change the codes monthly.”
“Yeah, I figured that, too. Any word from Washington?”
Chase shakes his head, then takes off his hat so he can rub his head. “No. It’s always slow going to get information. All we know for sure is that he made it to his last parole meeting.”
He looks at me for a minute. “You’re hot for her.”
“Yeah, so?”
His eyebrows climb at the admission. Hell, I’m not going to deny it at this point.
“You’re screwing around with your nanny ?”
“Don’t make it sound like that. It’s more, Chase. She’s more. And we’re going to do everything we possibly can to keep her safe from this asshole.”
My brother just nods and rocks back on his heels. “I think it’s good. We all like her, man. And Mom mentioned to me that she’s going to train Erin to take over the bookkeeping for the ranch.”
“That’s right.”
Chase just grins at me.
“Shut up.”
The Suburban comes rolling up the driveway, and Chase and I both turn to greet them.
“Hey,” Erin says to us with a tentative smile. “So, today was interesting.”
“You.” I point to Bruiser and narrow my eyes at him. “What did you see?”
“A lot of people drink coffee in this town,” Bruiser replies. “And that’s about it. There was nothing unusual, no red flags. Hell, between Erin and me, we recognized everyone who came into the shop.”
“He’s right,” Erin agrees. “There was nothing out of the ordinary, aside from me being totally paranoid. I hate that feeling.”
“Did you save the note from the flowers?” Chase asks.
“Yeah.” She pulls a crumpled card out of her pocket and passes it over to Chase. I read over his shoulder and feel my stomach twist.
I can’t wait to marry you.
“Fuck that,” I mutter and shake my head, pacing away.
“I admit, it rattled me,” Erin continues. “Pretty bad, actually. I’ve taken a sabbatical from Bitterroot Valley Coffee Co. until this is all resolved.”
Erin sighs, trudges up the stairs of the porch, and sits in a chair.
“I can’t live like that,” she goes on. “Always scared. I did it once before, and I refuse to do it again. I have enough to keep me busy out here, so that’s what I’ll do.”
She must have been reading my mind because I was going to ask her, reasonably, to do that myself.
Now, I don’t have to.
“Marion’s awesome.” Erin pulls her feet up under her, getting comfortable. “She assured me that I can come back anytime, so that’s good. I just can’t handle having to constantly look over my shoulder.”
“You did the right thing,” Chase assures her. “You have to be where you feel safe. Summer told me that the order for the flowers came through her website, so we’re going to try to follow the IP address to find out where he’s ordering from.”
“Okay. Good.” Erin nods, then buries her face in her knees. “This freaking sucks.”
“I know.” I reach out and brush my hand over her head. “I know it does. We’ll figure it out.”
“I guess the bright side is that I’ll have lots of time to train with Joy. I’ll have it all under control soon, and she can start doing all the fun things that she’s dying to do.”
“You’re not being held here,” Chase reminds her. “You can go anywhere you want. We just ask that you let someone know where you’ll be, and if at all possible, take someone with you.”
“I’ll do that.” She sighs. “I’m not trying to make anyone worry or be a pain in the butt.”
Her phone rings, so she pulls it out of her pocket and answers.
“Hey, Mom. What are you up to?”
Erin’s eyes widen, but it’s in happiness.
“You are ? When? Holy shit, that’s just a couple of days away! I’m so excited .” She smiles up at us. “Okay, keep me posted. Love you, too.”
She shoves her phone back into her pocket.
“My family’s coming to visit. Well, just my parents and my sister, Zoey. They’re going to stay up at Drew’s condo.”
“When do they arrive?” Chase asks.
“In just two days.” The happy smile returns. “I can’t wait. I think they know that this is just what I need right now. Plus, my mom probably threatened my dad with a divorce if he didn’t bring her out here. She’s been eager to come to Bitterroot Valley.”
“Mom will want to do a family dinner,” I say, glancing at Chase.
“Oh, for sure,” Chase agrees. “Also, is it crazy that I’m excited to meet your dad?”
Erin smiles. “No, it’s not crazy. He’s pretty great. You’ll love him.”
We spend several minutes going over everything that happened at the coffee shop again for Chase’s notes, and then it’s just Erin and me, sitting on the porch.
“I’m exhausted,” she whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the chair. “I don’t even care that there might be spiders hiding on the back of this chair, and they could crawl in my hair.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of detail about a nonexistent spider.”
Her lips twitch, but she doesn’t open her eyes.
“I’m sorry that you were scared today.”
“Mostly, I’m pissed off. I don’t want to go through all of this again, and I shouldn’t have to. Even if he’s sending stuff from Washington, he’s broken the restraining order. For that alone, he should go back to prison.”
“That’s what Chase said, too.”
“I’m so embarrassed that I’ve brought this particular piece of baggage into your life. I don’t want the kids to know about what’s going on, Rem. I don’t want them to be scared or worried that they could get hurt. Which they won’t be, not just because they’re so well protected, but because he’s fixated on me. ”
“I don’t plan to tell the kids,” I reply. “Because I agree. I don’t want them to worry.”
“How are you going to explain that big-ass gate on the driveway?”
“I’ll just tell them that we’re adding new safety measures to the ranch to make sure that the livestock and everything else is safe. Which isn’t a lie.”
“That’s true.” We both watch as a bald eagle circles the pasture, looking for a late lunch. “I’m grateful that your mom is picking up the kids, but I feel guilty because that’s my whole job. ”
“Cut yourself some slack,” I reply. “You’ve had a shitty day. Mom doesn’t mind helping out, especially in circumstances like this. But if it makes you feel some sort of way, you can cook dinner.”
“Okay, I’ll take that deal. I was thinking stuffed green peppers.”
I wrinkle my nose.
“No? What part of that don’t you like?”
“I’ll eat it. I’ll eat anything you make without an argument.”
Erin smirks. “Sure, but I want to make things you like. How about I grill some steaks? You have a lot of Wild River Ranch beef in there.”
“I’m down for that. I think you should take a hot shower and maybe a little nap first.”
She cocks an eyebrow at me. “Do I stink?”
“No.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “It’ll feel good and help you relax. Get comfortable and shake off what happened today. There’s nothing else you can do about it.”
“You’re a good dad,” she blurts out, and it makes my heart stumble. “I’m not implying that I think you’re fathering me right now, because no. What I’m saying is, you’re calm and reasonable, and despite your sometimes grumpy exterior, you’re soothing. I’ve watched the kids seek you out when they’re upset or sad, and that’s because you’re the one person in the world who can comfort them better than anyone else. You don’t just have that effect on your kids.”
I can’t help but think about how grouchy I’ve been with my kids over the past few months, and through no fault of their own. It’s all on me. I’m a better dad because of this amazing woman.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She stands and bends down to kiss my head. “I’m gonna go take that shower.”
She walks inside, and I stay right where I am for a while, watching that eagle and looking out over my land.
Sometimes, I worry that I’m not the dad that my kids need me to be. I get so distracted, so busy while running this business. I don’t want my children to look back on their childhood and wonder where their dad was.
I don’t think Erin could have given me a better compliment.
“Dad!” Holly comes running out of her room, with Erin not far behind her. “Dad, look at my pretty braids! Erin did them. She says she can do them whenever I want.”
Holly’s long, dark hair is twisted and woven into some pretty impressive braids.
I definitely can’t do that for her.
“You look absolutely gorgeous,” I inform my sweet girl and watch as her face lights up with happiness. “I was thinking about taking you and Johnny out for a ride on the horses. What do you think?”
“Yes. But can Erin come with us?”
“Erin has to go work with your grandma for a bit,” Erin replies. “But you go have fun with your two guys, okay?”
“Okay! Johnny!” Holly races off to find her brother and share the good news.
“They love the horses,” I say.
“I know. They talk about them often.”
“Have you ever ridden?”
Erin shakes her head. “No. I’m not so great with heights, so I don’t know that it’s for me.”
“It’s not that high up,” I disagree.
“I can’t touch the ground with my feet, so it’s high enough. I don’t know, I might try it sometime. Do you need anything before I head over to your parents’ place?”
“No, thanks. We probably won’t be gone long. Holly doesn’t have much stamina yet.”
“She’ll get there,” Erin says. “Have fun.”
Before she can walk away, I catch her hand in mine and tug her close. Her face lifts, ready for my lips, and I don’t disappoint her. I kiss this woman every chance I get.
“Mm,” she says when she pulls away. “That’ll tide me over for a while.”
Erin leaves just as the kids hurry out of Johnny’s room.
“Can I wear my cowboy hat, Dad?” Johnny asks, the brown hat already on his head. “If we’re gonna be doing some cowboying, I need a hat.”
“You can wear it,” I reply.
“I need mine, too,” Holly decides and hurries over to her bedroom. Seconds later, she returns with her purple hat on her head. “I can even wear it with my pretty braids.”
“I see that. Okay, buckaroos, let’s go saddle up some horses.”
“Someday, I’ll be able to saddle my own horse,” Johnny mutters as we set out on the trail that leads us deep into our property.
“You pretty much did it all by yourself,” I remind him.
“Not really. Lucky had to help.”
“Well, saddles are heavy, and horses are tall. It’s not easy, even for grown men sometimes. You’ll get there, buddy.”
“Yeah,” Holly adds. “You’re only eight. Cut yourself some slack.”
I have to press my lips together so I don’t laugh out loud.
“Are we going to the special place?” Holly asks.
“I thought we would, yeah. It’s pretty this time of year.”
And it’s not a hard or long ride from the barn, making it easier on the kids. It’s a gorgeous late spring day. The trees are all green now, and some wildflowers are starting to pop up here and there, spattering the property in pops of red and yellow.
Holly’s already starting to fade on her horse by the time we reach our destination.
Our whole family has loved this particular spot for generations. The view of the mountains is mesmerizing, and sometimes you get lucky and spot a deer or a bear. I’ve even seen moose out here.
“It’s so pretty,” Holly whispers, looking up at the mountains. “Are those our mountains, Daddy?”
“Pieces of them. Mostly, we just use them to look at because they’re too high up for anything else.”
Johnny doesn’t want my help to dismount the horse, so I walk over to Holly and help her down. She’ll probably ride back with me, and I’ll tow her horse back by the reins.
“Let’s sit and have a snack,” I suggest as nerves over the conversation I’m about to have with these kids start to rear their ugly heads. “I have some jerky and apples.”
I spread out a blanket on the grass, and the three of us sit facing the mountains, and dig into the snacks.
“Didn’t Millie think we should put a bench here?” Johnny asks. “I think I remember something about that.”
“Yeah, but there’s no need to. We can sit on the ground like this.”
They nod and chew on their jerky, and I decide there’s no better time than the present to talk to them.
“Hey, guys, I want to talk to you about something.”
“Something bad?” Holly asks, chewing her jerky.
“No, not bad. In fact, I think it’s really good.”
“What’s up, Dad?” Johnny asks, his face set in serious lines.
Jesus, there are times that he’s so much like me it’s like a kick in the stomach.
“How are things going with you two and Erin? Do you like having her here to help us out?”
“Yeah,” Johnny says immediately, a bright smile on his face. “She’s great. She taught me a fun way of figuring out double-digit addition. She made it really easy, and now I’m doing good at math.”
“She braids my hair,” Holly adds. “And sometimes, if she has to tuck us into bed because you’re working late, she tells really good stories. She sings songs, too.”
“She does?” That surprises me. I’ve never heard Erin sing. “What kinds of songs?”
“A lot of Taylor Swift,” Johnny says. “And Nash. She likes them.”
“A couple of weeks ago, when it was really cold outside,” Holly begins, “I forgot my coat at home, and I was sad because I wouldn’t be able to go outside for recess, so she went home and got it and brought it to the school for me.”
I haven’t heard any of these stories before. I knew Erin was great with my kids, but I had no idea that it was to this extent.
I glance down at Johnny’s leg and frown. “Hey, off the subject, but how are your pants fitting you now? Just last week, we decided you’d outgrown them and needed new ones.”
“Erin took me shopping after school,” he replies, as if it’s no big deal. “I got enough to last through the summer, since I mostly wear shorts in the summer anyway.”
She took my kid shopping, paid for his clothes, and didn’t ask me to reimburse her.
“That was nice of her,” I murmur, and Johnny nods in agreement. “Well, guys, I want to be honest with you, always. I really like Erin myself. She’s smart and funny, and I think she gets along with our family really well.”
“She’s pretty, too,” Holly adds.
“She’s definitely pretty,” I agree. “I want Erin to be my girlfriend. I want her and me to be a couple.”
Holly frowns. “Do I get to call her Mommy?”
“I think that’s rushing things, sweetheart. Maybe, someday, if I were to marry Erin, that might happen.”
“Are you asking us if it’s okay if Erin is your girlfriend?” Johnny’s face is still so serious, but there’s curiosity in his eyes, too.
“That’s what I’m asking you, but I’m doing a crappy job of it.”
“That’s a swear,” Holly says.
“No, crap isn’t a swear,” Johnny replies. “You’re thinking of shit.”
“Oh, yeah.”
I eye my son, who just smiles angelically.
“The thing is, I need to know if you’re okay with that because there might be some times that I would want to hug Erin, or maybe kiss her, and I don’t want you guys to be uncomfortable with it.”
“It’s kinda gross,” Johnny says, wrinkling his nose. “But I guess grown-ups do gross stuff like that. Grandpa kisses Grandma all the time, and ew. ”
“Yeah, they do.”
Holly and Johnny share a look and then nod.
“Yeah, we like the idea,” Johnny says. “Erin is part of our family now anyway. She’s the best.”
Happy with the way that went, I reach for an apple.
He’s right. Erin is the best.