Chapter 3 Don’t Make Impulsive Decisions （…This Might Be a Bit Too Late） #2
When they’re gone, Noah and his friends walk back to a spot near the campfire where a gap was created.
My brother sits down next to the tallest of the group, and the person sitting next to Yasmeen leaves some room between themself and Noah so I can settle there.
It’s thoughtful, and I really do appreciate it, but I would honestly rather keep standing for the rest of eternity than sit down in this circle.
Still, after a few more seconds of pitying myself, I sit down, trying not to cringe as my butt meets the sand. I quite obviously fail.
“These two are my best friends, by the way,” Noah informs me, managing to distract me from my struggle. “Liam and Maya.”
“Hi!” the short one greets me, a big grin on their face. “I’m Maya, they/them.” They have brown skin and short black hair that only just covers their ears. They keep having to readjust their bangs because of the wind. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
Then I move my eyes to the other person.
The tall one. “That makes me Liam. He/they pronouns. This guy right here has told us a lot about you,” he lets me know, patting my brother on the back.
Both Noah and I look down, cheeks red, but when I lift my gaze to meet Liam’s again, he’s smiling warmly, no bite to it.
He doesn’t seem to want me to feel like an intruder, and all I can think is Wow, people here already are different from my classmates at school.
Or maybe I’m just not reading them correctly. This wouldn’t be the first time that happened, actually.
My brother turns to Yasmeen next. “And this is…” He trails off, not knowing what to say about my fellow newcomer.
“Yasmeen,” she helps him with a laugh. “I’m Maya’s girlfriend.”
The word girlfriend rolls off her tongue so easily, and without overthinking it, she grabs Maya’s hand. My heart grows in size until it feels like it’s trying to escape the cage that is my chest, but I will it to stay calm.
Don’t be weird about this.
It’s just that I absolutely love love, and though I devour a romance book every other week, it’s pretty rare for me to see people my age be this unmistakably in love with each other in real life.
Even with Daniel and me, it wasn’t that way.
Sure, we kissed pretty much daily, and occasionally we had our romance novel–worthy moments, like when he walked me home in the rain. But we weren’t in love.
Not yet, at least.
Maybe if I succeed at winning him back, though, we can be more like Maya and Yasmeen. We could form a deeper connection instead of just tolerating each other again.
Maybe then I could find the love I’ve always been scared isn’t in the cards for me.
Noah’s jaw has dropped open in response to Yasmeen and Maya, resulting in the rest of the group laughing. For a second, I want to force myself to laugh along with them so I fit in, but then I realize I don’t have to follow those rules anymore.
Just try to be yourself, Eleanore, I remind myself. But instead of actually having the guts to join in on the conversation, I simply continue watching them.
“Maya, you asshole!” Noah says to his friend, pushing at their shoulder playfully. “I can’t believe you kept this from me! You literally sent a meme about the useless lesbian stereotype to the group chat just yesterday, and I said you were only useless when it came to flirting…”
That only makes Maya laugh louder. They wrap their arm around their girlfriend, pulling her close until they’re sitting hip to hip.
“That really was hilarious, though. I just didn’t want to miss the expression on your face once you found out!
Nothing is more fun than seeing your soul leave your body for a moment. ”
“Oh! Speaking of dying on the spot, Noah,” Liam starts a little too excitedly, which earns him a glare from my brother. “I’ve got some news for you as well. According to some sources, Sloane is joining us at camp again this year.”
Noah’s entire body tenses, and I watch as another blush creeps onto his face.
I see a chance for me to join in on the conversation, and this time, I’m too nosy not to grab it. “Who is Sloane?” I ask, my voice a bit shakier than I want it to be, like I’ve somehow forgotten how to use it already.
Maya pats Noah on his back. “You have a few seconds to recover while I catch your sister up on our lore, dude,” they tell him, then turn back to me.
“Sloane was a camper two years ago, and our dear Noah developed a massive, pathetic crush on her, but before he found the courage to make a move, she disappeared. The poor guy never got over it.”
“But,” Liam starts, “things could change this year with her return.”
Noah considers this for a second, then shakes his head, clearly trying not to get hopeful about this. “Oh please. Where did you even get this information?”
“Julia told me.”
My brother snorts. “A very reliable source, I’m sure, but if we couldn’t find Sloane on social media last year, I doubt she magically messaged Julia, of all people, that she’s coming back.”
Liam shrugs. “Julia is a really good stalker, though. Much better than us, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and—”
Before he gets the chance to finish that sentence, one of the people sitting around the campfire suddenly stands up to shout, “SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!” They repeatedly pump their fist in the air as they do so, and I’ve barely processed what exactly it is they’re doing when someone else joins in…
and then another person…and a dozen others, too.
Until almost everyone, including my own brother, is screaming the camp’s name.
Yasmeen and I share a look. “Have we stumbled into a cult?” she asks me. She has to yell in order for me to hear.
I assume she doesn’t expect me to actually answer her question.
After a minute or so, the chants of SMASH!
turn into whoops as a man in his fifties gets on his feet.
“Patience, please. We’re still waiting for a few more minutes,” he tells the enthusiastic crowd seriously.
Noah quickly informs me that this is the guy who owns the camp, and I can’t help but frown.
He seems awfully grumpy for someone who decided to name his summer camp SMASH!
A minute passes. Then a blond twentysomething woman wearing a camp counselor T-shirt appears from behind a corner, followed by a girl with two braids in her auburn hair. The girl’s eyes are pointed at the sand beneath her.
Before I have the time to fully take her in, my brother makes a noise. “Oh,” he supposedly says, but it sounds more like he just choked on his own spit.
I glance at Noah—or rather, at what’s left of “the poor guy,” as Maya put it.
Liam is looking, too, letting out a sigh and shaking his head at the sight of his best friend.
“Just as I predicted.” And, well, he does really look like he just died a thousand deaths, so I don’t even bother asking if this is indeed Sloane.
The girl walks until she’s a part of the crowd, but she doesn’t join any of the small groups, instead standing alone as the camp’s owner clears his throat.
“Well then,” he says once people have returned their attention to him, “I guess it’s time we start with the initiation. Gigi?”
I turn to Noah. “I’m sorry, the what now?”
My brother makes a face. “I can’t tell you, but you’ll find out soon enough,” he says, taking his eyes off Sloane for just a second to give me a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing extreme, though. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m, in fact, worrying about it,” I whisper back, my eyes wide, but he’s already moved on to trying to catch Sloane’s attention. She continues to look at the ground.
The blond camp counselor—Gigi—runs up to the owner until they’re side by side, him with his lips pressed together tightly and her beaming as she scans the crowd.
She puts her big sunglasses on top of her head.
“Welcome to SMASH!, everyone!” she yells, which is answered by screaming that’s so loud, you’d almost think we’re at a concert and the artist just entered the stage.
Except I’ve never been to a concert, so I wouldn’t actually know if that’s accurate.
“We know you’re all eager to catch up with old friends or get to know everyone who you don’t already know, so I think it’s best if we kick off this camp with a little game.
” Gigi grins. “The rules are simple. First, grab a few pieces of paper from this bucket. Then walk around the campfire until you bump into someone, which is when you’ll open up one of your pieces of paper and wordlessly make your new friend guess what’s written on it.
If you both guess correctly, then you can briefly introduce yourselves to each other. ”
“Wait, isn’t that just charades?” I hear what I guess is a fifteen-year-old girl whisper to her friend. And she’s right, of course, which is just such great news for me. After all, I’m exceptional at catching neurotypical people’s hints.
Gigi hands the bucket to one of the campers sitting close to her. “Let’s start!”
Just like that, more people grab pieces of paper from the bucket. In a matter of seconds, some campers are already walking around or even frantically shouting things in an attempt to guess their partner’s word.
Noah gets off the ground beside me as well, after which he offers me his hand. I gladly take it, following him to the bucket to grab some words for myself. I’ve barely been able to look at my word—dream—when Noah starts acting something out.
He flaps his arms around him really fast, like they’re wings, and it’s so simple, even I can’t misunderstand it. “You’re a really strange bird?” I ask, trying not to laugh at the sight of him.
He shoots me a look but does bring his arms back to his sides.
Now it’s my turn, so I make a fake pillow out of my hands and let my head rest on them, closing my eyes.