Chapter 11 Rivven
RIVVEN
Iwoke up, but not really. I was still dreaming as I came into consciousness. Because there was a warm, soft body in my arms, and I knew without even opening my eyes that it was Shiloh’s.
There were voices, too. Tasha’s and the warden’s. I tried to ignore them, so that I could remain asleep and stay in my dream, keeping Shiloh against my body.
But the voices did not go away.
Neither, strangely, did the dream.
“When the blazes did she get here?” hissed Warden Tenn.
“I don’t know!” Tasha replied. “You’re the one with the big ears that hear everything! You didn’t hear her come in here last night?”
“No. I was asleep.”
“Well, so was I!” Tasha said. “But she must have come down here at some point...Maybe she sleepwalks.”
“Maybe she what?”
“Sleepwalks.”
“What in the unyielding span of the empire does that mean?” The warden appeared nearly offended by the word.
“Just what it sounds like,” Tasha said. “When you get up and walk around in your sleep. Some people even eat in their sleep. Or have sex.”
“What the blazes…”
“Zabrians don’t sleepwalk, I take it?”
“Certainly not,” Warden Tenn scoffed. “I have never heard of this before in all my life! Is this something I now need to worry about you doing? If I’m to be constantly on alert for the moment you wander off into the night wearing nothing but your jamdingoes, I will never be a rested man again!”
“You are so dramatic,” Tasha said with a sigh that somehow sounded both loving and long-suffering. “It’s fine. I don’t think I’ve ever done it.”
“And what about the other things?” he grumbled. “The sleep eating. The…The sleepytime relations…”
“Have I ever had sex with you while I was asleep, Tenn? Because I’m pretty sure you would have noticed that,” she said dryly.
It was at that point that I acknowledged this truly was one of the strangest dreams I’d ever had. Maybe it was the fancy, heavy meal I’d made and eaten last night. I was used to simpler fare. Clearly, my body’s attempt at digesting the dinner was resulting in these deeply unnatural thoughts.
“No, you are right,” Warden Tenn replied on a smooth sort of growl. “You’re far too mouthy and loud when we are coupling to be anything but awake. And your eyes are open. Until they roll back in your head when I make you-”
“Shh!” That was Tasha again. “You’re going to wake them up!”
I really was feeling very awake now. I was aware of the temperature of the room, aware of the stiffness in my back from laying here.
Aware of Shiloh, who now began to stir against me.
Aware of my own body’s reaction to her. Her proximity, her movements. Her scent.
I was getting hard.
On the off chance that this was not a dream, and contemplating the horrifying possibility that my unruly cock was about to humiliate me very badly (not to mention the likelihood that I would deeply offend Shiloh) I swiftly rolled away from her.
My hat was nearby, on the floor. I sat up, grasped it, and positioned it in what I hoped was a casual fashion on my lap.
Scrubbing a hand down my face and accepting that I was indeed awake now, I blinked away grogginess to see Shiloh slowly sitting up as well. Her hair was piled atop her head, a shiny strip of fabric coming loose from where it seemed to have been tied around it.
“What time is it?” Shiloh asked, looking blearily around.
“Dawn,” Warden Tenn said.
“When did you get here, Shiloh?” Tasha asked, extending a hand for Shiloh to take. Shiloh clasped it with a grateful-looking smile, rising and wincing.
“Are you hurt?” I asked, jolted by guilt. How could I have slept all night like a dolt while she was here? Why did I not awaken, and bring her back to a proper bed?
“No, no,” she insisted. “Think I just slept with my head at a funny angle. My migraine definitely seems to be gone though. So that’s good.”
That was indeed good.
What else was good? The fact that she was not hurt, and therefore I was not required to stand up just yet. I kept my hat in place, willing the blood to drain from my cock.
But having her awake, even with this distance between us, was not helping much there. She looked so soft and sleepy. Like she’d just come from spending a night in my arms.
Because, apparently, she had.
I cursed myself for not being even slightly aware of it while it had happened.
“I came here after my bath,” Shiloh said, returning to Tasha’s question. “I had hoped to convince Rivven to take his bed back. But then I found him asleep. I sat down and…I guess I fell asleep, too.” A sheepish smile touched her lips.
I also wanted to touch her lips.
“Sorry,” she said. I waited for someone else to reply to this.
But they were all looking at me.
“What are you apologizing to me for?” I asked, bewildered.
“I just…I didn’t mean to intrude. I hope I wasn’t sprawling or snoring or clinging to you too much.”
“It didn’t look like she was the one doing the clinging,” Warden Tenn whispered to Tasha. Tasha kept her eyes forward, ignoring her husband’s mouth at her ear.
“It was no intrusion,” I said. “None at all! You may sleep wherever you like, whenever you like.” I got to my feet, and that seemed to go alright. Though I kept my hat held in front of my stubbornly swollen shaft.
“It’s a shame that nobody got to sleep in the bed last night,” Shiloh said with a laugh. “Maybe you can tonight, Rivven.”
“Absolutely not,” I answered at once. “I do not wish you to catch another migraine.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that,” she replied. “It’s why I didn’t wake you up last night. I figured I’d be interrupting your sleep just for you to tell me you weren’t going to move.”
That was good of her. Kind. To let me sleep. Maybe a little too kind, as I would have liked to have been awake. To have shared a little extra time with her.
But it was more than just good or kind. She did not wake me because she wanted me to rest, but also because she knew that waking me would have been pointless. She knew what I would have said without even asking me.
Last night, when I’d held the knife and she’d stepped backwards, stepped further away from me, I’d told myself it was because she did not yet know me.
Perhaps that was already beginning to change.
“Let me show you around today,” I said. I hadn’t planned on the words coming out of my mouth. They just did. “If you’re well enough, and don’t mind spending some time outside. I can give you a sense of how the property runs. You could meet the animals.”
“Um…” Shiloh looked at Tasha.
Well, she did not say no right away. That was something, I supposed a bit glumly.
“That’s completely fine,” Tasha said. “If you want to and, like Rivven says, you’re feeling up to it, anyway. Tenn and I won’t be doing anything you’ll find very interesting. We’ll be on his slicer all day, using his plough attachment to keep clearing the road before the others arrive.”
The others.
Blast.
Maybe it would snow tonight. Slow them down a little. Give me a few extra days alone with her.
I had not ever known myself to be this selfish before. This very selfishness likely proved I was unworthy of her, but I could not seem to shake it.
“OK. Sure. That would be great, Rivven.”
It was remarkable. Truly, it should have been studied at the highest levels of the Zabrian Academy.
How just a few simple words from this woman could so completely alter my mood.
Even my physical sense of well-being was suddenly changed for the better.
Energy flooded me. I felt as if I could accomplish all my chores in half their usual time today.
Maybe I would, with her eyes on me.
And maybe that would mean something. Prove something. Show her that I was strong, that I had stamina, and that, even though I certainly did not deserve her, I would not be too terribly bad a choice.
And if, in the end, she did not choose me…
For a moment, the orphans’ barracks were all I could see.
…Well, I was used to that.