Chapter 33
Nashen
Canton Valley Farm
My mind reeled between my far spread out contractions.
I nibbled on danishes and tried not to think too hard about Pami.
Her letter was full of love and encouragement from a madwoman.
My sister was utterly mad but in the end I think she recognized that.
She recognized that, like our parents, Sharon tried to use her and then Ferrick did too.
Her whole life she sought power but most of the time was merely a pawn.
Diamond took Bernard out for a walk because he was pacing a hole in the floor.
That left me alone with Bree but over the weeks the women had lived with us, we learned to be good company for each other.
Bree was still carrying her egg and every day we exchanged looks about what would happen if Ferrick broke free.
We wouldn’t go down without a fight. We exchanged sticky notes with little ideas jotted down of how we might escape him.
“You’re in the same spot as before,” Bree said, sitting down next to me on the sofa. My contractions were far apart. My biggest symptom of labor was a very achy back that wouldn’t stop no matter what I did.
“You think I should change seats?” I arched a brow at her. Everyone had their own methods of encouraging a baby to be born but if my kid disliked the sofa they were just going to have to get over that. The sofa was here to stay.
“If you want to,” Bree blinked at me bemused.
“I meant what she did was a good thing, but it didn’t change anything, did it?
She’s still dead and she’s still done horrible things.
She did a very good thing with helping with that horrible shebear.
She was even considerate with wanting to save your baby from Ferrick but she still did all those things.
I think, and maybe it’s none of my business and what I think really doesn’t matter, but I think you shouldn’t let her set you back if you can help it.
I mean it. You were happy. Well, as happy as you could be with all the ghost murders and threats.
We’re down two threats. Rumor has it Clarence and Medwin are almost done with whatever they’re doing down in that hole too.
Pras isn’t a threat to us except for his hurt pride of not being remembered properly. ”
Bree paused long enough to pick up a bottle of water and spritz her face. She took a deep breath and blinked. Then sprayed her eyes. The further along in development her egg got, the more often she spritzed herself.
“I’m alright. Believe me, if I thought I needed to be anywhere else, I’d be there,” she said. “What I mean is you’re in the same spot as before because Pami is the same person she’s always been but this time it worked out for the best. So, we’re two mad ghosts down. Everyone else still loves you.”
I leaned back against the sofa.
“She wasn’t sucked into the vortex, right?” Bree asked.
I’d recounted the whole thing for Bernard and the ladies when I calmed down enough to stop hyperventilating the night before.
Normally I was unflappable but being pregnant had made me more emotional than normal.
Also therapy had been leaving me more emotional than before.
My therapist said it was because I finally felt safe enough to feel my emotions.
“No,” I said. “She had a door. It was like she was walking into the sky right after sunset.”
“See. Wherever Sharon Claudis was headed Pami’s path is different. Maybe she’ll get her head sorted out.”
“You’re a bigger person than me,” I sighed. “She tried to kill you.”
“She didn’t get to, though,” Bree said. “I can feel bad for her because she died and she could’ve laid around somewhere reading or she could’ve found someone bingeing a really good show and watched with them.
She could’ve fucking done anything and she tried to kill me.
If I die, I’m not murdering people. I’m going to float around the ocean and maybe startle people on ships for fun. ”
“I’m going to haunt Bernard until it’s his time to join me,” I said, grimacing as another contraction shook its way through me. Bree held my hand and I squeezed. She didn’t even wince as my grip turned to a vice. She simply breathed in and out with me as Doctor Mallory suggested.
Outside the world was in the midst of chaos.
Not the sort of chaos caused by death and destruction but the chaos that came with something new being brought into the world.
Apparently, the night before Vatten had called Canton, asking if they could live on the farm.
Canton said yes, of course. Now a house was being birthed as a group effort so that it might be finished before Vatten had his puppies.
He was expecting five. When Bernard first told me I thought it was a dog joke told in bad taste, but no, he was having five puppies.
After the contraction passed, I stretched out on the sofa and rested my head on Bree’s lap.
She played with my hair, smoothing it out and then curling it around her fingers.
She repeated the rhythm over and over again until I dozed off.
Maybe she was right. Maybe when it was all said and done things were no worse off.
Maybe they were a little bit better. Earthside was supposed to be my fresh start after all.