Chapter 11 Carli
Carli
The best mirror is an old friend.
~ George Herbert
He kissed me.
Cody kissed me.
My pulse thrums just under the surface of my skin.
If my mouth weren’t still softly buzzing, I’d wonder if I dreamt that kiss.
I lift my fingers to my lips and immediately regret the movement because I taste and smell like pig.
Great.
The day my dream of kissing Cody Lawson comes true, I’m covered in muck and smell like a sty.
His lips gently brushed against mine—the caress of a satin pillow. Twice. He glided past and returned for more. A second pass that might have become more—if Jace hadn’t barged back into the barn, breaking the moment. I smile, humming softly to the mother and piglets nursing in front of me.
The chaos of this morning’s delivery has quieted. I’m lingering in the warmth of the barn, indulging in the memory of Cody’s kiss.
The alarm on my phone sounds, reminding me of my appointment. I’m expected at the inspector office for orientation in less than two hours.
With one more check on the sow and piglets, I stand to search for Chet. He’s outside the barn, talking with Jace when I approach.
“She’s doing well,” I tell them both. “I left the piglets nursing. Someone will have to put them back in the box. I’ve got to run into town.”
Jace nods—obviously still adjusting to the idea of my new life.
Chet assures me. “We’ll take it from here. Your dad should be out shortly.”
I turn to grab an ATV to drive back to my cabin.
Jace’s words stop me in my tracks. “Thanks, Carli. I really appreciate you being there this morning.”
I turn and smile at my brother, the hum of Cody’s kiss lightly spreading across my lips.
“Of course,” I assure Jace. “You’re not in this alone. I’m still here.”
He smiles and then goes back to whatever he was saying to Chet. The two of them walk toward the farrowing barn together.
The air is damp, drizzle falling softly, wetting my lashes and hair on the drive back to my cottage.
It’s the kind of day that begs for a fireplace and a blanket.
I turn the water on a tad hotter than usual and step under the spray.
Thoughts of Cody float between breaths. The walls of my shower steam and I etch his name on the glass.
I might never stop smiling. My cheeks tug and my eyes crinkle.
My chest feels full like it could burst.
He kissed me.
I dress in slacks and boots and a nice shirt. I really need to get a few more work-appropriate outfits. Everything in my closet either screams barn-ready or going out to two-step.
My drive into town takes me past the Lawsons’ ranch. What’s he doing right now? Is he sleeping? Probably. He came off a twenty-four hour shift and jumped right in to help us.
The roads are wet from the light rain. The landscape is soft grey and green—promising the coming of spring. I pull into town and find a parking spot in the lot behind the county building. A few are marked with signs saying Fire Inspector Only, but I leave those empty for now.
The next few hours are filled with a stream of paperwork and introductions to the fire marshal, senior inspector and permits clerk.
I’m issued a login code, badge and vehicle for field assignments.
I’m only at the offices until mid-afternoon, but when orientation is finished, I’m more tired than if I had worked a full day in the farrowing barn.
I check in with Jace once I’m back at the farm, still wearing the outfit I wore to orientation.
“Hey, I’m back,” I shout into the barn.
His head lifts and he smiles a tired smile. “Are you planning on taking notes on the procedures out here?”
“I can change,” I say with a smirk. “Do you need anything?”
“We’re good. This morning was the high point. So far the rest of the sows are resting.”
“Mkay,” I say, turning on my heel and walking to the house to help Mom in the kitchen.
“Hey, beautiful,” she says when I walk through the door and hang my coat on the hook.
I walk over and kiss her cheek. “What can I do to help?”
“Not much. Chop an onion?”
“Sure,” I say, grabbing the knife off the island and pulling the cutting board toward myself.
We work quietly together for a while, moving around one another in a rhythm that comes from years of preparing meals together. I swap out the onion for other vegetables. She dumps the vegetables into a pot where she’s making a sauce. Then she checks the roast in the oven.
“Smells like heaven,” I say, inhaling deeply.
“That’s the bread,” Mom says, pointing toward the double oven on the opposite wall. Then she surprises me by asking, “How was orientation?”
“Tiring—but good. I met everyone I’ll be working with.”
She smiles over at me from her spot at the stove where she’s lifting the lid and stirring.
“I feel like I got sprayed by a firehose filled with protocol and policy.”
“Well, you are the fire inspector, so I guess a little spray is part of the job.”
“Right?” I say, laughing softly. “I think I’ll skip book club tonight.”
“Really?” She’s right to be shocked. I never miss gathering with my girlfriends.
“Yeah. I’m wiped out between the birth this morning and orientation. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”
“Maybe just go for an hour or two.”
“Why are you so eager to be rid of me?” I tease her, bumping her hip with mine.
“I’m not,” She smiles warmly. “I just know how a job can consume you. And now you have two. So making time for friends is doubly important. Besides, McKenna won’t be here forever. I’d think you’d want to gobble up every second you could with her.”
“You’re right. I miss her like a limb when she’s gone. Now that she’s back, I may be taking her for granted.” I sigh, brushing the onion skin off the cutting board into the trash can. “Okay. You convinced me. I’ll go.”
Mom smiles.
After dinner, I wash up, change into yoga pants and an oversized hoodie, pop my Uggs on and drive through town to Moss & Maple.
All day, the feeling of Cody’s kiss visited me in private whispers. I’d practically feel the brush of his lips across mine, smell the woodsy scent of his skin, see the way he looked at me. Alone in my truck, I sigh, replaying all the sensations like a favorite movie.
Normally, I’d have texted or called McKenna within minutes of a guy kissing me. We’d debrief what it all meant and how I felt. She’d relive the play-by-play with me.
This is Cody.
McKenna’s not my sounding board or secret-keeper this time.
I could tell Emberleigh or Cass. But I can’t ask my friends to keep a secret from McKenna.
I’m alone in this. Alone with Cody.
My chest tightens.
I pull up to the curb outside the bookshop and kill the engine. My eyes drop closed for a beat. I take a deep breath.
I wish I could talk with Cody.
Why did he kiss me?
And does he want another as badly as I do?
I step out of my truck, taking the concrete path to the front door.
I open it to laughter and the sound of teasing conversation.
My friends are gathered in a back room of Moss & Maple.
The top of one row of shorter bookshelves along the wall is filled with trays of baked goods, thanks to Emberleigh.
And a ladle sticks up from the Crock-Pot at the end.
“Mmm warm cider,” I say, grabbing a mug and spooning myself some of the spicy warm drink.
“Carli!” McKenna jumps up from the armchair where she was deep in conversation with Winona.
I set the mug down and fall into McKenna’s embrace, squeezing her to me.
“I miss you,” she says, pulling back.
“You literally saw me four days ago,” I remind her.
“That’s practically a week,” she pouts. “And I had to share you with my family then.”
I smile, remembering Cody bumping my foot with his. Was that only four days ago? Time will now be divided into two segments: BBK and ABK—before and after our barn kiss.
“How was orientation?” she asks, snapping me back into the moment.
“Orientation?” I glance around the room. The conversations have settled down and everyone’s eyes are on me. “It was good. I’ll get my bearings eventually. There’s a lot to learn and keep track of. It's overwhelming. But interesting. And demanding.”
“The first weeks on a job are crazy,” Cass says. “You feel like you’re learning to walk.”
“Accurate,” I agree, grabbing a cookie and putting it on a dessert plate.
“Did everyone bring your copy of the book for the month?” Daisy asks the group while I take the seat next to McKenna.
“I left mine at home,” I admit.
“Who picked a firefighter romance?” McKenna asks, pointing an accusatory finger between Emberleigh and Daisy. “One of you two, right?”
“Guilty,” Emberleigh says, raising her hand and looking sheepish.
“I’m having the hardest time getting into the story,” McKenna says. “It’s just awkward. I keep picturing Cody. And no one wants to imagine their brother kissing someone.”
The room erupts into laughter—everyone but me. I picture Cody kissing. I can definitely imagine it now. Vividly.
“Well, next time, you can pick,” Emberleigh concedes. “We’ll all endure a Hollywood director romance.”
“If only I could find one,” McKenna says.
“You’re living one,” Winona says, a huge smile on her face.
“Speaking of which …” McKenna smiles over at me. “Sorry. I wanted to tell you first, but then my whole family was there. And then you had farrowing … and orientation.”
I don’t have time to wonder what she’s going on about because she says, “Westley and I are getting married!”
The room is silent for a beat. Then Cass says, “Who’s going to tell her we already know?”
McKenna laughs. “I don’t mean engaged. I mean we’re having our actual wedding. Here. On Lawson ranch. Westley’s coming back to the States for a break in filming. He’ll only be here three days, but we figured why not now? My parents are thrilled. We’ll take our honeymoon when his shoot is over.”
“You’re having your wedding on the ranch?” I ask.
“Isn’t it perfect?” she asks.
“It’s … wonderful.” I smile at her.
Lawson ranch is the perfect location for McKenna’s wedding. And Cody will be there—right in the heart of it all. I smile at my best friend as the rest of our friends pepper her with questions about timing and logistics.
We settle into our chairs, the familiar warmth of lifelong friendships wrapping us in comfort. McKenna continues to beam after her announcement.
Daisy picks up the novel we’ve been reading. “Okay, girls. We don’t just come to book club for the baked goods.”
“Speak for yourself,” I tease, taking a bite of my cookie.
Emberleigh and Sydney smile over at me.
“Let’s talk about this story,” Daisy says. “Who wants to start?”
“I’m really happy for you,” I quietly say to McKenna.
“Thanks. Are you good bumping up your maid of honor duties a bit?”
“Of course.” We’ve planned on being one another’s maid of honor since we found out what that role even was.
She reaches over, placing her hand on my forearm and giving me a soft squeeze. “I knew you’d say yes, but hearing it completes everything.”
I smile back at my best friend.
The random thought, I kissed your brother this morning, flits through my head. I swat it away.
What can ever come of that kiss?
Even if the answer is obvious, I still want another.