Epilogue
Carli
What a strange thing it was to be in love,
and to feel so safe.
~ Unknown
I’m at the Lawson ranch, standing in the living room, bouncing the baby, swaying from side to side. He’s fussy and won’t settle easily. Cody’s on the sectional chatting with his brothers.
“Shhhhhh,” I say in my best baby-soothing voice. “Shhhhh.” I hum a little, increasing the intensity of the bounce and cradling his head for comfort and security.
“Shhhhh, Mitchell,” I shush him again. He squirms in my arms.
I lift him and sniff his bottom. “Ewwwww. Buddy! You’re more potent than a hog barn on a summer afternoon.” I turn to Cody and ask, “Can you grab the diaper bag for me?”
Cody grabs the bag, handing it in my direction and smiling up at me.
I hand him the baby. He swaps me for the diaper bag and holds Mitchell at arm’s length.
“He’s not contagious,” I assure him.
“Is this going to be how it is when you’re a dad?” Luke asks Cody.
“When I’m a dad I’ll be so smitten with my own child their poop will smell like roses,” Cody says, confidently.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works,” Ethan says, laughing.
“You guys are awesome,” Cody’s cousin, Kellie, says, walking in and grabbing Mitchell from Cody. “You don’t have to do diaper duty. I can take him now.”
Kellie and her husband Daniel are visiting from Alabama for the holiday weekend. I’ve been holding five-month-old Mitchell nonstop—partially to give them a break, and partly because he’s adorable and I love the feel of him in my arms.
I shake my shoulder out and smile at Kellie. “He’s the cutest.”
“He’s way cuter when he doesn’t keep you up all night,” she says, smiling at Mitchell. “Aren’t you, Mister Stinkypants?”
He squirms and fusses.
“Here,” she says. “Give me the diaper bag.” She coos to Mitchell, “Let’s go get you comfy.”
They walk down the hall to the guest bedroom.
I smile, watching them go. Mitchell’s still fussy, but he’s snuggling into Kellie’s arms and nuzzling her neck. The magic of motherhood.
Cody stands up and rests his chin on my shoulder. “Are you still up for a ride?”
I turn and glance into his eyes. “Always.”
I rode Lark over this morning, so she’s already in the barn.
I follow Cody out to the stalls. I pause to give Storm a little love. He’s right at home here on the ranch.
“Sorry, buddy,” I tell Storm. “It’s not your turn for a ride. Maybe next time.”
We saddle our horses and lead them out the back barn door. Then we mount and I follow Cody across the lawn and up the fence line.
Lark perks up, trailing behind Jasper and keeping his pace. The wind is low and soft in the high grass. Leaves rustle in the trees. I lift my hand, freeing my hair tie and letting my braid unfurl as Lark rolls forward into a full gallop. Cody looks back over his shoulder and smiles at me.
I nudge Lark and ride up beside Cody. Jasper’s not eager to have anyone keep his pace. He loves being in the lead. Cody takes charge, pulling Jasper back just a hair so we can ride side-by-side.
I smile at Cody. “Race you to the tree!”
I nudge Lark and she takes off at a gallop.
“No fair!” Cody yells, his laughter lifting around us.
He and Jasper catch up and take the lead.
We slow to a lope and then a trot as we come to what we now call Our Tree. I’m ready for Cody to tell me to dismount here. He’ll spread a blanket—like we have so many times since that first ride out here together that day we snuck away.
“I have another plan today,” he says.
“You and your plans,” I tease.
“Humor me,” he says with a smile.
“Always.”
He takes off and rides over a few hills to a creek where we let the horses drop their heads for a drink. After the horses have quenched their thirst, Cody turns and starts heading back toward the ranch. I’m so curious to see what he has planned, I don’t even ask him to give me a clue.
We approach the tree where the fence has started to grow into the trunk.
“Here,” he says, pulling Jasper to a stop and dismounting.
He pulls a blanket out of his saddlebag and lays it out on the ground.
I dismount Lark and tie her off next to Jasper. Then I walk over to the blanket and sit next to Cody. He wraps his arm around me and holds me close. The sun beats down on our faces, but a breeze blows through, rustling the branches and cooling my skin. I close my eyes and sigh.
“Do you remember this spot?” Cody asks.
“Of course,” I tell him. “This is where I met you before we rode up to the other tree—on that first ride, the one that got rained out.”
He smiles. “That is true. But this spot is also where I stood before I ever kissed you. You came through from over there.” He points toward our farm and moves his finger to show the direction I rode that day.
“And I watched you. The way you looked on Lark, wild and free, your hair blowing back behind you.”
“I saw you.”
“Eventually, you did.” He smiles. “Back then I felt like you’d always be out of reach.”
“You were the one out of reach,” I tell him.
“I never planned to cross those lines.”
“I’m so glad you did.”
He turns so he’s looking me straight in the eyes. “Would you take any of it back? Knowing how we hurt McKenna and Jace?”
“I’d take back hurting them,” I say. “But I wouldn’t trade or change one second of our time together. I love every single memory.”
“Mmm.” Cody hums. “Me too.” He brushes my hair back from my face.
“I must look crazy right now,” I say, smiling at him.
“You always look beautiful to me. Even more so out here.”
He leans in and kisses me. There’s something almost forlorn about the way he lingers on my lips, like he’s memorizing me because he doesn’t know when we’ll kiss again.
It’s foolish to think that, but I know Cody and this is the kind of kiss he’d give me when we were sneaking around and we didn’t know when we’d connect in person again.
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, leaning in to assure him I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
When he pulls back, I search his eyes. A soft smile blooms on his face.
“You’re so gorgeous,” I say, tracing over his lips with my fingertip.
He kisses my finger and holds my hand in his.
“I love you, Carli.”
“I love you too,” I say.
“And I want more with you,” he says.
“Me too,” I assure him. “Everything. I want everything with you.”
“Good,” his smile grows.
Then he pulls away from me, shifts his weight and pulls something from his pocket.
It doesn’t dawn on me—until it does. “Cody?”
“Carli Buckner, I love you with my whole heart. You’re the most important person in my life …”
My hand flies up to cover my mouth and I meet the dampness of the tears on my cheeks.
“... and I want every day with you. And every night. I want rides out into the pastures and late evenings around the fireplace. Most of all, I want Luke to stop flirting with you.”
I laugh. Cody smiles.
“No. Seriously. Most of all, I want to build a life together. And to name one of our children Cardy.”
My laughter bursts out with a snort. “Cody!”
“Okay. Okay.” He chuckles. “Carli, will you marry me?”
“Yes!” I throw my arms around him and he tugs me close.
“I got you a ring,” he says, pulling back.
“I get a ring too?”
He smiles. “Yeah. You get a ring too.”
He pulls open a small velvet sack and shakes the ring out into his palm, then he takes my hand in his and slides the ring on my finger. I hold my hand out so we both can see it.
“I love you, Carli. The words don’t do my feelings justice.”
“I love you too. You’re my person.” I tell him that all the time, and I know it’s his favorite thing for me to say about him.
“Life has a funny way of working out, doesn’t it?” he asks me.
“I’d say life has an amazing way of working out. Never in a million years did I think we’d end up dating, let alone be getting married.”
“It all started in a hog barn,” he says. “That’s what I’m going to tell our kids.”
He leans in and brushes a soft kiss over my lips. It reminds me of the one he first gave me, especially when he returns for a second kiss.
We stay on the blanket together for a while, laughing and reminiscing. Our kisses are sweeter, filled with a newness that says forever.
We finally decide to head back to the ranch. I mount Lark and draft behind Cody all the way back.
When we’re at a pasture just beyond the back barn, Cody shouts, “She said yes!”
The ranch hands all whoop and cheer.
Then we ride closer to the barn. The Lawson brothers are all out in a pasture having what looks like a serious talk.
Cody cups his mouth and shouts, “She said yes! Carli and I are getting married!”
Luke shouts back, “There’s still time to change your mind, Carli!”
I smile, “No thanks, Luke! I found my Lawson.”
McKenna’s in California, so as soon as Lark and Jasper are cooled out and put away, we call her, right there, from the barn.
“Guess what?” I practically scream into the phone.
We’re on speaker so we both can talk to her.
“You’re engaged!” she shouts.
“How’d you know?”
“Cody asked me and Jace for our blessing.”
I turn and lightly smack his bicep. “You didn’t!”
“I did. I figured we’d give them a little heads-up this time around.”
“And I said yes, of course,” McKenna says. “You’re finally going to officially be my sister.”
“I always was your sister,” I tell her. “In my heart.”
“That’s where it matters.”
“For the record,” Cody says, standing behind me and wrapping his arm around my stomach, tugging me tight against his chest and leaning his chin on my shoulder. “I was never your brother.”
“Agreed,” I say, laughing.
“Well, congrats!” McKenna says. “I can’t wait to be the matron of honor.”
“You didn’t even let me ask,” I tell her.
“You asked me years ago.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Well, let me know when you pick a date. I’ll clear everything to be there for you.”
“Thank you, McKenna,” I tell her.
We say our goodbyes, promising to call later.
Then Cody turns me around, tugs me into his arms and kisses me.
He holds me to himself, running his strong hands down my back with such tenderness I almost tear up.
I rake my fingers through his hair because I’ve learned what he loves.
We’ve both learned so much since that first barn kiss—about trust, and truth, and claiming what matters most but never at the cost of the people who have stood by you over the years.
Jasper whinnies and Storm answers. Outside the barn, the sound of the Lawson men coming in for the afternoon carries through the open door. Cody tugs me close and tucks my head under his chin.
“I want to stay here forever,” I tell him.
“I think we just might,” he answers me with a smile.