Chapter Twenty-Six
Travis had spent the day at the resort, doing his best to focus.
It hadn’t been easy when the only thing he wanted to do was call Brantley to find out what his cousin had found.
If anything. At the same time, he was intent on ensuring his brothers didn’t find reason to question him.
It wasn’t easy because they were fairly astute, usually catching on to any shift in his mood.
Somehow he managed to make it through the day without calling Brantley and without raising eyebrows.
The urge to make that call was still there, growing more persistent by the minute, but he was determined to let it go.
He was fighting the hope that was building, refusing to believe that Kylie could be alive.
It wasn’t possible. No matter how much he wished it were.
Now, as he made his way up the stairs, he noticed Kate’s light shining under the door.
He stopped, rapping his knuckle on the wood once before opening it. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
She was sitting up in her bed, a pillow behind her and a book resting on her raised knees.
Kate glanced over and smiled. “I’m not tired yet.”
Jerking his chin in the direction of the book, he said, “What is that?”
She turned the book so he could see the cover. “Mommy used to read this to me.”
His chest tightened as it did whenever he heard pain in his children’s voices.
“I remember.” He walked over to the bed, sat on the edge by her legs. “You miss her, I know.”
Kate met his gaze. He expected to see pain in her light brown eyes, but it wasn’t there.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, curious.
She looked away. “Nothin’.”
Travis patted her knee. “Talk to me, kid. Or I’ll tickle you.”
Kate jerked her knee away, giggling. “Don’t you dare.”
“I will,” he warned, grinning.
“I’m thinkin’ about Mommy.”
“What about her?”
There was a glimmer of reservation in her eyes before she finally said, “Mommy came to me in a dream.”
He understood that all too well because Kylie came to him in his dreams, too. Often.
“She was kinda there,” Kate explained. “Kinda not.”
“How so?”
Kate shrugged.
“Did you see her?”
“No.” She shook her head. “But I could hear her. She sounded far away.”
“Was it a good dream?”
She nodded. “She told me everything’s gonna be okay.”
“Mommy was always right,” he told his daughter.
“Is,” Kate corrected. “Mommy is always right.”
Not sure what to say to that, Travis patted her knee again. “You should really get some sleep, kiddo. You’ve got school tomorrow.”
Kate nodded, then set the book on the nightstand before fluffing the pillow and flopping down on it, before turning on her side, facing away from him.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, rugrat.” He stood, turned off the bedside lamp, then leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you in the mornin’.”
He made it to the door before Kate called him.
“Hmm?”
“Do you think Mommy could come back?”
Stopping at the door, Travis peered back at her. She had turned to look his way. The light from the hallway cast a glow of yellow over her face. She looked so much like Kylie, it made his chest ache.
“Why would you ask that?”
She shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
Something stirred in his chest. It was warm and surprisingly … comforting.
“Goodnight, honey.”
“Night, Daddy-O.” She yawned and rolled over. “I’ll tell Mommy we aren’t givin’ up. She told me we shouldn’t.”
Travis closed her door, keeping his hand on the knob for several seconds.
When he finally released it, that something he felt a moment ago shifted inside him.
For the first time in one year, eight months, and twenty-four days, he felt something.
He wasn’t sure what it was, but he couldn’t seem to fight it.
It flowed through him, a powerful surge of … was that relief?
He made his way down the hall to his and Gage’s bedroom, the same bedroom they’d once shared with Kylie.
At first, Travis hadn’t been able to sleep in there.
It had been too painful. Then Gage had convinced him to try.
Despite his pain, he’d given in and found that he felt closer to her there, even with her gone.
Closing the door, he looked around, took it all in. Gage had pulled down the blankets on the bed, but he wasn’t in it. Travis could hear water running in the bathroom, figured he was in there brushing his teeth.
Staring at the bed, he swore he could see Kylie lying on it, stretched out beautifully the way she used to. So fucking beautiful, it hurt to look at her sometimes. He would give anything to get that back, to get her back.
Hope swelled and pulsed in his chest. The feeling was invigorating.
The door to the bathroom opened, and Gage stepped out. “You get Kate to put down the book?”
Rather than answer, Travis turned to look at his husband, admiring him. He was wearing shorts, as he always did when they slept. Having kids who would make their way to the bedroom for various reasons changed things. Gone were the days when they could sleep naked.
Gage stepped closer, worry creasing his brow. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’.” And for the first time in one year, eight months, and twenty-four days, he actually meant it.
Nothing was wrong. Nothing at all. Because those holes that had been left with Kylie’s absence, those cracks and fissures that had formed, were healing.
Not because he was moving on from her. That would never happen.
She owned a piece of his soul. Always would.
Gage moved closer. “Travis? You’re scarin’ me.”
He reached for Gage, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer. Rather than tell him what he was thinking, Travis leaned in and kissed him. Hard. Demanding. He didn’t hold back, couldn’t. For the first time in so fucking long, he was riding the high that he got from hope.
“Travis…” Gage moaned, his hands insistent, eager.
He swore he could feel his blood pumping in his veins, his heart beating. He felt alive and powerful after months of endless darkness.
Travis made no effort to be gentle or to take his time. He stripped his clothes off, not waiting for Gage to assist.
“Lose the shorts,” he instructed.
“What’s goin’ on?” Gage asked, still watching him, although he did shove his shorts down.
He grabbed Gage’s wrist and pulled him closer to the bed. “Turn around.”
It was apparent he wanted to ask more questions, but Gage did as Travis insisted, facing away from him. He put his arms around Gage, flattening his palms on his chest and pulling him back. He kissed his neck, soaking up the warmth of his body.
“Travis…” Gage moaned when he nipped him, then smoothed the sting with his tongue.
He plucked Gage’s nipple with one hand while the other slid down his abdomen, inching lower until he could wrap his fingers around Gage’s iron-hard dick.
“Oh, fuck,” Gage hissed, his hips thrusting as he tried to fuck Travis’s fist.
Travis sucked on his neck, not caring that he might leave a mark. He was supercharged, every cell in his body coming to life.
He growled softly, stroking Gage’s cock firmly. “I need to be inside you.”
Gage groaned.
Travis jerked open the nightstand drawer, grabbed the lubricant. Before Gage could ask anything more, he put his hand in the middle of Gage’s back and pushed him down, his chest on the mattress.
He wasn’t sure what had come over him, where this surge of life-infusing hope had come from, but he was past the point of questioning it.
“Trav—” His words were cut off when Travis’s lubed fingers found his hole, pushing inside.
Gage wasn’t sure what had come over his husband, but there was something different. He wasn’t the same man who had gone through the motions of the day. Something had been triggered inside him, and for the first time in what felt like decades, he was seeing a spark of the man he’d once known.
“Spread your legs wider,” Travis growled.
Gage shifted his feet, spreading his legs while his upper body remained pressed to the mattress.
“Better,” Travis crooned, his fingers sinking in deeper, tormenting him with pleasure. “I used to fuck you like this. Remember?”
“Yes,” he hissed, rocking back against the fingers fucking him.
“Kylie would watch, playing with herself.”
Gage gasped. That was the first time Travis had mentioned Kylie in any way that wasn’t soaked in sadness.
“I swear I can see her, Gage,” he growled from behind him. “Watching me fuck you.”
Closing his eyes tightly, Gage let the mental image form. He didn’t have difficulty retrieving those memories. He thought about Kylie often. He was unable to let go of her, unwilling to forget all that they’d shared. While Travis had blocked it out, Gage had drowned himself in thoughts of her.
“Then she would move,” Travis said, his fingers disappearing, replaced by the thick head of his dick. “She would position herself so you could eat her pussy while I fucked you.”
Gage groaned, the hairs on his arms standing on end as pleasure annihilated him.
“I would fuck you hard”—Travis slammed his hips forward—“so you could spear her pussy with your tongue.”
He swore he could almost taste her.
“Fuck, Gage,” Travis growled, his words reverberating through him. “You feel so fuckin’ good.”
Gage fisted the blankets, providing resistance to Travis’s punishing thrusts. It was all he could do, accepting the penetration, losing himself to the pleasure.
“Goddamn, that’s good.” Travis tapped Gage’s right thigh. “Put your knee on the bed.”
Travis paused long enough for Gage to maneuver, putting his knee on the bed. Then Travis was driving into him again.
“Oh … fuck … yes,” Gage moaned. “Trav … fuck … just like that.”
Their combined grunts and groans echoed through the space as Travis fucked him the way he used to. Like he owned him. He had no idea what had come over the man, but he didn’t care. This was what he needed. To have Travis back, even if only for a few minutes.
It wasn’t long before Travis had maneuvered him onto the bed, flattening him completely.
“Gage … baby … you ready for me to come?”
He couldn’t form words, so he growled his approval.
“Fuck. It feels too good. Don’t wanna stop,” Travis grunted, pausing once again, this time pulling Gage’s hips back.
He rocked up onto his knees, moving with Travis, not wanting him to stop either. He relished the way Travis’s fingertips dug into his hips as he held him firmly in place, plowing him from behind.
Balancing himself on one forearm, Gage reached down, stroked his cock in time to Travis’s thrusts.
“Oh, yeah. That’s it. I want you to come.”
Gage gritted his teeth, holding off for as long as he could. When Travis’s grip became nearly painful, he knew his husband was close. He held on for several more thrusts before he let go with a guttural cry.
“Fuck,” Travis roared, slamming into him one final time, his cock erupting, pulsing deep inside him.
When it was over, he was shocked once more when Travis fell on top of him, blanketing him the way he had long ago. Sex with Travis had been good, but it hadn’t been quite like this in a long damn time.
Gage lay there, catching his breath while Travis shifted, his arms banding around him. They remained like that for long minutes, the sweat cooling on their skin.
“What was that?” he asked, hesitant to ask because he didn’t want this to end.
Travis kissed his shoulder. “Hope, baby. That was hope.”
He wanted to ask Travis what that meant, but he kept the question to himself. He didn’t want to shatter the moment, not sure when or if they would ever get it back again.
Rather than question it, Gage decided to simply breathe.