Chapter Thirty #3
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
Archer couldn’t help it, he barked a mirthless laugh. “That didn’t help clear it up at all.”
“You’re my partner.”
“That seems to be the case, yes.”
“And I just got out of a very fucked-up relationship.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“And you’re in a relationship.”
“I’m not, but not for lack of trying,” he admitted. They’d talked about Spencer last night, but Archer hadn’t shared with him the details of their previous encounter. Since Archer hadn’t heard from the man in over a week, he figured it was likely a subject not worth broaching.
Atticus’s knuckles turned white as he continued to grip the steering wheel.
Feeling bad for the man, Archer reached over and grabbed his wrist, attempting to peel his hand away.
As soon as he touched him, Atticus turned, his eyes wide.
The next thing Archer knew, Atticus was kissing him.
His lips were on his, his fingers twined in Archer’s hair.
The kiss was hot enough to spark a brush fire on the side of the road.
Without thinking about what he was doing or the repercussions of it, he kissed Atticus back, taking control because it was his nature to do so.
As soon as he cupped the back of Atticus’s head, his tongue urgently exploring, the man moaned, causing Archer’s dick to swell.
He couldn’t remember the last time a kiss had been quite this …
God, he didn’t even know how to explain it.
It seemed to go on forever, but at the same time, Archer wasn’t sure it would be enough.
It took everything in him to keep his hands in place, to not let them wander.
He had an overwhelming urge to feel Atticus’s skin against his palms. He wanted to touch every inch of him with his hands and his mouth.
It was pure insanity, but he couldn’t stop it. The train had already derailed and was heading for a fiery crash.
“Archer,” Atticus moaned, his hand tightening on the back of his neck. “Fuck.”
Somehow, he managed to pull back enough to catch his breath. He didn’t release Atticus. Wasn’t ready to. Whether that was because he didn’t want to cop to the insanity of what they’d done or because he feared Atticus would tell him it was a mistake, he wasn’t sure.
They remained like that, their foreheads pressed together.
“That was…” Atticus sighed. “I don’t know what that was.”
Archer didn’t either. Nor did he feel like filling in the blanks.
“We can’t do this,” Atticus finally said, his grip on Archer’s neck loosening. “It’s stupid. I’m clearly not thinkin’ straight.”
Ouch. That one hurt.
Archer managed to sit back, turning so that he was staring straight ahead. He was still catching his breath, his body hard as steel.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Nodding, Archer kept his thoughts to himself.
“I meant I just broke up with someone. They call this the rebound, right?”
Oh, great. That made him feel even worse.
What the fuck was wrong with him? How the hell did he keep getting caught up in these men who didn’t actually want him, but rather something from him? Spencer had wanted him to take his virginity, and now Atticus was using him to get over his breakup with Slade and the other guy.
“It’s cool,” he lied. “We should probably drive before we attract the local cops. Trust me when I tell you, you don’t want to deal with getting pulled over while I’m in the truck. It’s not usually pretty.”
Thankfully, Atticus didn’t argue. He put the truck in gear and pulled out onto the road. He drove south until Archer instructed him to turn west on 7th Street. It would take them to Terry Berry’s place.
Five minutes later, once they’d passed some athletic fields and several older houses, Atticus pulled off the road again. This time he turned off the truck and killed the lights.
“We’re not there yet,” he told him.
Atticus unbuckled his seat belt and lifted the steering wheel before shifting in his seat.
Archer didn’t want to look at him, but he did anyway. “What?”
“I’m gonna say somethin’ and you’re gonna listen, okay?”
“Sure.” He tried to play it casual. “What’s up?”
“Slade and I have been on the outs for a little while, but I honestly thought there was a chance to fix it. He clearly didn’t.
And I haven’t even talked to Carson, so I don’t know where that stands.
Since he hasn’t made an effort to talk to me, I have to think Slade wasn’t lyin’ when he told me it was over with him, too. ”
Archer wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he remained quiet.
“I should probably feel somethin’. Anger or disappointment. Hell, maybe even hurt.”
Those seemed like logical responses to a breakup, sure.
“But I don’t.”
He wasn’t expecting that.
“I jumped into that situation with both feet because there were two men interested in me. I thought it might work. At the very least, I thought we’d have fun.
We did. At first. But ever since I got back from training, things have been goin’ downhill.
Slade’s jealous, and Carson’s constantly disappearing.
I knew it wasn’t workin’ out, but like I said, I thought maybe we could figure somethin’ out. ”
Archer stared at him, waiting for more.
“I’m not upset that Slade kicked me out or that Carson doesn’t seem to give a shit one way or the other. I should be. But I know myself. Before them, I’d never been in a relationship. Not one. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I fucked up because I’m not sure how it all works.”
“I doubt that’s the case. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards.” Archer knew that firsthand.
“Slade accused me of cheating, and his insecurities kept getting in the way. I never did. Never even thought about it. I thought we were havin’ fun, but obviously I was wrong.”
Archer had to look away. He couldn’t take the intensity of those green eyes.
He’d been intrigued by this man since the beginning, but he had to believe it was because he was excited about the prospect of a partner.
He’d never had one. Not like this. And he seemed to mesh with Atticus.
They worked well together. And yeah, he was easy on the eyes, which was a bonus.
“Archer?”
“Hmm?”
“Look at me, please.”
He did, noticing the way Atticus’s gaze shifted to his mouth. His dick twitched and swelled as the memory of that kiss flooded his gray matter.
“I want you to kiss me again.”
Archer’s breath lodged in his throat.
“But I know if that happens, we’re both gonna question what we’re doin’.”
He was probably right.
No, he was definitely right.
“And that’s not fair to either of us.”
“Okay.”
Atticus’s eyes lifted, locking with his. “We’re partners. We have to agree that anything else is … off limits.”
Archer nodded because he knew that was what Atticus expected.
“So we’re good?”
Another nod was all he could manage.
“Good.” Atticus exhaled and sat back in his seat. He repositioned the steering wheel, then put his seatbelt on. “Let’s recon the area, see what we’re dealin’ with.”
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
Maybe then, Archer could stop coming up with ideas on how to get Atticus to kiss him again.