Chapter 7
S O L A C E
I woke up in a good mood Sunday morning. For once, Tyler wasn’t the first thing on my mind. I wasn’t thinking about how much work I had waiting for me, or how many days of PTO I had already used since coming back to Bellhaven.
I opened my eyes thinking about Smoke and the fact that I was going to his house later to cook Sunday dinner with him. I smiled and reached for my phone when it buzzed.
I laughed as I read it. We had finally exchanged numbers yesterday, which felt ridiculous considering how much had already happened between us before either of us bothered to ask for the other’s number.
His response came before I could put my phone down.
I shook my head. “This asshole…” I was still smiling when my mother knocked once and opened my bedroom door.
“Oh, good. You’re awake.”
I yawned and sat up. “Morning, Mama.”
“Morning, baby. We’re going to church.”
My smile disappeared. “We are?”
“Yes, we are.”
“I don’t remember agreeing to that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I looked at her, and she looked right back at me.
There was no point arguing with her about church, so I got up and got ready.
I put on a fitted burnt orange dress, brown heeled boots, gold hoops, and a few gold bracelets, then smoothed my hair back into a neat bun.
Then, I grabbed my leather jacket, Gucci purse and headed downstairs.
New Bellhaven Baptist Church looked almost exactly the same. The red brick building still had white double doors, tall windows, and the steeple I remembered seeing from all over town. The parking lot was already filling up, and people were making their way inside dressed in their Sunday best.
My mother barely made it through the door before people started stopping us, and once they realized I was with her, it got worse.
I got hugged, told how good I looked, asked how long I was staying, and reminded by people I barely remembered that they had known me since I was little.
My mother enjoyed every second of it while I smiled, answered questions, and tried to get us to a pew.
Once service started, I figured I could sit beside my mother, listen to the sermon, and leave without thinking too hard about my own life.
Then the pastor talked about fear and how easy it was to call something a smart decision when you were really just scared of what changing your plans might mean.
He talked about working hard for the life you wanted, then becoming so protective of it that you stopped being open to anything that might change it.
I knew leaving Bellhaven had been the right decision for me. I needed my career, traveling, and the chance to experience a life outside the town where I grew up. None of that had changed. What I was starting to question was why I had been so sure Smoke couldn’t be part of that life too.
Being around him again made me realize I might have made that choice harder than it needed to be.
I could admit that now without regretting everything I had built after I left.
I thought about it for the rest of the service, but my mother didn’t ask what was on my mind when we left.
She knew if I wanted to talk about something, I would.
We had barely gotten settled in the car when my phone rang. I recognized the number from work and answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, Solace. This is Rebecca. Did I catch you at an okay time?”
“Yeah, I can talk.”
“Good. I wanted to follow up about the Senior Director of Development position. We finished the final interviews on Friday, and we’d like to offer you the position.”
I sat up straighter. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. Congratulations!”
A smile spread across my face as I looked at my mother. “Thank you! I really appreciate it.”
Rebecca went over the offer, including a base salary of two hundred and twenty-five thousand, a twenty-percent annual performance bonus, additional equity, and responsibility for the development team across the Northwest portfolio.
The salary was more than I had expected, and the position itself was exactly the kind of move I had been working toward.
I had interviewed weeks before coming home, and after waiting this long, I had started wondering if they had chosen somebody else.
Instead, I got the promotion I wanted, with an offer even better than I expected.
“There is one thing I want to make sure we’re clear about before you make your decision,” Rebecca said.
“The first six months will require more of you than your current position does.”
“How much more?”
“Well, you’d be traveling two or three times a month to oversee projects in New York, D.C., Chicago, Philadelphia, and occasionally Atlanta. You’ll have six directors reporting directly to you, and you’ll have final approval authority on projects within your portfolio before executive review.”
It was a big promotion, and they were expecting me to step up in every way that came with it. A week ago, none of that would have made me hesitate. “I see. As far as office days, will they be hybrid? Or will I be required to stay in the L.A office?”
“We are currently discussing flexibility with the role and will know more in a day or two. We have executives working hybrid schedules, but I don’t want to promise you a specific schedule today.”
“Okay.”
Nothing she had said was unreasonable, and this was the promotion I had wanted before I ever came back to Bellhaven. I should have been ready to accept it on the spot, but instead, I found myself looking out the window and thinking about Smoke.
I hated that my mind went there so quickly, not because I didn’t want to think about him, but because I had spent too many years making sure no relationship got to decide what happened with my career.
Tyler had understood that about me. His career mattered just as much to him, which was part of why our lives had worked so easily together.
Smoke’s life was different. His businesses, house, and family were all here in Bellhaven because this was where he wanted to be.
I had finally understood that about him, and I would never ask him to give up everything he had built any more than I'd want someone asking me to give up what I had built.
“How soon do you need my decision?” I finally asked.
“We’d like an answer by the end of Friday. If you accept, we’d announce it internally that following Monday and start transitioning you into the role at the beginning of the following week.”
I glanced at my mother before looking down at my lap. “Okay, yeah. I wanna review the full offer before I formally accept anything.”
“Of course. I’ll email you the complete compensation package and role expectations today. Also, Jim and I will be in touch about a hybrid option. If you have questions after you review everything, don’t hesitate to call me directly.
“I will. Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome, Solace, and congratulations. You truly deserve it.”
“Thank you so much, Rebecca.” I ended the call and slowly lowered my phone.
My mother was already looking at me, and there was no way in hell I was getting out of that car without explaining what had just happened. “Well?”
“I got it.”
Her entire face lit up. “You got the promotion?”
“I got it.”
She reached across the console and hugged me before I could prepare myself. I laughed and hugged her back, and for a few seconds I let myself enjoy it because I deserved to. “I’m proud of you, baby!”
“Thank you.”
She pulled away and looked at me. “So why do you look like somebody just gave you bad news?”
“I don’t.” I forced a smile and slipped my phone into my bag. “I’m just still trying to process it.” My mother studied me for a second, and I reached for my seat belt before she could ask anything else. “Can we go home? I need to start getting ready for dinner.”
My mother studied me for another second before starting the car. “We can go home.”
The formal offer was waiting in my inbox on my laptop before we got there.
I read it three times, and the six-figure salary didn’t get any smaller, and neither did the knot in my stomach.
I mean, I should have been celebrating. Instead, I closed my laptop, went upstairs, and sat on the edge of my bed wondering why getting exactly what I asked for suddenly felt so complicated.
My mother leaned against the doorway with a bowl of popcorn. “You wanna tell me what’s really going on now?”
I sighed. “Nope. I have to get ready.”
“You can talk and get ready, Solace Nichole.”
That's how I ended up sitting at my vanity in a robe, doing my makeup while my mother sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for me to stop avoiding her. I blended concealer underneath my eyes. “The job is a lot.”
“You knew it would be.”
I looked at her through the mirror. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What else am I supposed to say? You said you wanted the job.”
“I do.”
“Then the job isn’t the problem.”
I set my makeup sponge down, and she raised her eyebrows. I hated when she did that. Exhaling deeply, I revealed, “Smoke and I have been spending time together.”
“Oh, I know.”
I turned around. “How the hell do you know?”
“Chile, please.” My mother laughed softly.
I picked up my foundation and tried to concentrate on my face instead of the conversation I had apparently started. “It’s not just sex.”
“I figured that. I know there’s more between y’all two. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or who’s been in your lives.”
I reached for my mascara, then put it right back down because my hands had started shaking enough to annoy me. “Tyler asked me something before I ended things.”
Popping popcorn into her mouth, she mumbled, “What was that?”
“He asked if I had ever been in love before him, and I told him no.” I swallowed and looked down at my hands.
“I went to bed that night and thought about Smoke. I hadn’t talked to him in years, Mama.
I hadn’t seen him. I was supposed to be getting married, and I spent the whole damn night thinking about another man. ”
“Did you love Tyler?”