Chapter 11 #4
I smoothed my hands down the front of my burgundy sweater dress. “Can we walk and talk?”
“Yeah.”
We left the tent and walked toward the community park.
The farther we got from Main Street, the less we had to talk over everybody else.
My heels clicked against the pavement until we reached the edge of the park, where there weren’t as many people around.
I stopped and turned toward him. “I accepted the promotion.”
Smoke reached behind his ear for his blunt. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
A small smile pulled at his mouth. “That’s what’s up. Congrats, baby.”
“Thank you.” I waited for him to say something else, but he just sparked his blunt instead. “That’s all you have to say?”
Smoke took a pull from the blunt and blew the smoke out. “What the fuck else you want me to say?”
“I don’t know.” I folded my arms against the chill, pulling my cream jacket tighter around me. “I’m still leaving tomorrow.”
“You was leavin’ tomorrow anyway.”
“I know.”
“Then what the fuck that gotta do wit’ you takin’ the job?”
“Nothing.” I dropped my arms and looked at him. “I just thought you might feel some type of way about it after everything.”
Smoke took another pull from the blunt. “I got enough shit to feel some type of way ’bout right now.
” He blew the smoke out. “You gettin’ a promotion you worked yo’ ass off for ain’t one of ’em.
” My eyes filled before I could stop them.
I looked away and wiped underneath one of them. “Why you cryin’, Solace?”
“Because I hate how fucked up everything is right now.” I looked back at him. “I’m leaving tomorrow and I really don’t wanna leave with us like this.”
Smoke stared at me. “So don’t.”
“You know I have to go back.”
“I ain’t talkin’ ’bout LA. I’m talkin’ ’bout us.”
I stepped closer to him. “I know what I did eight years ago, Sherrod. I’m not doing that shit again.
I’m standing right here telling you exactly what I’m doing.
I’m going back to L.A. tomorrow to transition into my new position.
You need to find out if that baby is yours, and both of us need to figure out what comes next. ”
Smoke took one last pull from the blunt and tossed the roach. “So that’s it?”
“No.”
“It sounds like it.”
“Because you’re hearing me say I’m leaving and deciding that means I’m leaving you.” His jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything. I reached for his hand, and he let me take it. “I love you, Sherrod.”
His fingers closed around mine. “I love the fuck outta you too.”
“I know.” I wiped underneath my eyes. “And I’m trying to figure out what I can actually handle if the baby is yours. Meeting Denisha today definitely didn’t make that shit any easier.”
Smoke’s eyebrows bunched together as his eyes narrowed. “You met her?”
“Yeah.”
“Man, what the fuck? How that shit happen?”
“We ended up at the same booth. She recognized me and introduced herself.” Just thinking about it made me uncomfortable all over again. “I wasn’t expecting to meet the woman who might be having your baby in the middle of the damn festival, so I didn’t exactly know what to say to her.”
Smoke dragged his hand over his beard. “Whole town too damn small.”
“She was nice, though. She didn’t come at me crazy or make anything weird. She actually said she hoped she hadn’t fucked anything up between us.”
Smoke shook his head as he popped a piece of gum into his mouth. “This whole shit crazy as fuck.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“And I hate you even gotta deal wit’ it.
” He pulled me closer by the hand he was holding.
“I shouldn’ta told you a baby wasn’t changin’ shit.
I was pissed off, and I didn’t wanna hear you talkin’ ’bout walkin’ away from me over this shit.
” His free hand came up to the side of my face.
“I ain’t changin’ what I want. I still want yo’ ass, but if that baby mine, I’m takin’ care of mine.
I get why you gotta figure out if you can deal wit’ everything that comes wit’ that. ”
“I’m trying.”
“I know and I gotta respect that.” I leaned into his hand before wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. Smoke wrapped both arms around me and held me there.
“I ain’t mad you goin’ back to handle yo’ shit,” he said.
“I don’t like yo’ ass bein’ all the way in fuckin’ California, but I ain’t mad. ”
“I know.”
“And I swear to God, Solace Nichole Rivers, you better not fuckin’ ghost me again.”
I pulled back enough to look at him. “I’m not.”
“I’m dead ass serious, Lace. I’ll burn down all of Cali to come get yo’ ass.”
I shook my head. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”
“I’m serious.”
I laughed. “I know you are.”
Smoke grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me.
I grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him back as his other arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him.
I’d missed him, and after the last two days, kissing him without being angry or trying to figure everything out felt good.
Somebody yelled his name from behind us, and Smoke broke the kiss with a frustrated groan.
He lifted his head and looked over my shoulder. “Fuck.”
“Go handle your business,” I told him.
“Fuck them people.”
I laughed. “They probably need you.”
“Somebody else can handle what the fuck it is. I’m busy.” He kissed me again before taking my hand. Instead of heading back toward the square, we walked toward the carnival side of the festival.
The Ferris wheel was still running when we made it back toward that side of the carnival, but there were only a handful of people riding now. I slowed when I saw it turning above us, and Smoke followed my eyes before looking down at me. “You remember that shit?”
“Of course I remember it.” I looked up at the seats swinging slowly overhead. “You used to rock the seat on purpose every time we got on.”
Smoke laughed. “‘Cause yo’ ass used to be scared.”
“I wasn’t scared. You were the one doing dumb shit when we got to the top.”
“Man, you used to squeeze the fuck out my hand every time we got up there.”
“Because you were rocking the damn seat!”
“‘Cause you was scared,” he repeated, still laughing.
“You were scared too.”
Smoke looked at me like I had just insulted him. “Man, hell nah. I been ridin’ that mahfucka since before Ant was born.”
“Me too, Sherrod.”
“That don’t mean shit.”
I laughed as we reached the gate, still arguing with him when the older man standing beside the controls looked over. His face lit up the second he recognized Smoke. “Money Making Cole! What’s happenin’ witcha, youngsta?”
“What’s good, Mr. Leon?” Smoke greeted him before Mr. Leon’s attention shifted to me.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Is that Loretta’s girl?”
I smiled. “Hey, Mr. Leon.”
“I ain’t seen ya in forever.”
“It has been a while.”
“A while?” Mr. Leon laughed and shook his head. “Girl, you been gone damn near since they fucked ’round and put that orange summabitch in office the first damn time.”
I busted out laughing, and Smoke did too. Mr. Leon laughed even harder at himself, shaking his head while the three of us carried on. When Smoke finally stopped laughing, he looked up at the wheel. “Run us ‘round a few extra times.”
Mr. Leon looked between the two of us. “You payin’ extra for all them extra rides?”
“Put that shit on my tab.”
“You ain’t got no damn tab.”
Smoke laughed. “I do now.”
Mr. Leon shook his head as he opened the gate. “Get y’all asses on there ‘fore I change my mind.”
Smoke let me climb into the seat first, and it shifted when his big ass dropped beside me. My hand immediately closed around the bar in front of us. Smoke looked down at it and smiled, and I turned toward him before he could open his mouth. “Don’t start.”
Smoke laughed and stretched his arm behind me as the wheel started moving.
I settled back against the seat, and for the first trip around, neither of us said much.
There wasn’t anything uncomfortable about the silence.
After everything we had said to each other tonight, I was actually glad we didn’t have to fill every second with more words.
When we reached the top, I looked out over Bellhaven.
Main Street was still lit beneath us, although the crowd had thinned out enough that I could finally see stretches of pavement between people.
Smoke’s thumb moved slowly against my shoulder. “What you in yo’ head ‘bout now?”
I looked down at Main Street again. “I’m gonna miss this.”
“Bellhaven?”
I turned my head and found him watching me. “You.”
He leaned in and kissed me instead, and I kissed him back. His hand came around my waist while mine slid behind his neck, and I moved closer until my side was pressed against his. By the time the wheel brought us back toward the bottom, I had forgotten Mr. Leon was even down there.
The wheel carried us back up, and this time it stopped before we made it all the way around. I pulled away and looked down, but the seats beneath us blocked most of my view. “What happened?”
“He prolly loadin’ whoever left down there.”
I nodded, but when I looked back at Smoke, his hand tightened around my waist. The way he was looking at me made my stomach tighten, and whatever sense I had been trying to hold on to all damn day disappeared. I leaned in and kissed him again, then climbed onto his lap.
Smoke grabbed my hips. “Lacey, what the fuck you doin’?”
I kept my mouth close to his. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
His eyes stayed on mine, and I felt his dick was already getting hard beneath me.
Smoke pushed my dress higher around my hips while I worked to untie his sweats.
His hand slid between my thighs, and he dragged two fingers over my panties before pushing them aside.
The second his fingers touched me, I gasped against his mouth.
He slid them through the wetness between my thighs, then pushed both inside me.
“Fuck, Lace,” he muttered as his fingers sank deeper.
My thighs tightened around his legs when he curled them inside me, and my head dropped against his shoulder. “Babe…”