Chapter 18
This house always makes me uneasy. It’s a constant reminder of who we were, the sins we committed, and the shame we still carry.
And him. My daddy, the preacher man. The only man I’ve ever known who could love a god who took two women from him.
And despite the love he had for them, it seemed to run out when it got to me.
I knock on the door, my heart in my throat.
He raised me, gave me food and shelter, but the only time I ever got his attention was when I broke his rules.
So I made sure to often. A belt to the ass is better than nothing at all.
I’m sure a therapist would keel over at that, but it’s my truth. And I don’t regret how I came to be.
“Cherinne. On time for once.” My daddy eyes me up and down, judging my outfit like the good Lord would want. I can’t even keep the sarcasm out of the words I don’t speak.
In my tight jeans, fitted tank top, and stilettos, I lean in and give him a peck on the cheek. “Nice to see you too, daddy. You need any help in the kitchen?”
He snorts and makes room for me to pass through the door. “Cherinne, you couldn’t find the kitchen if I gave you a map.” He takes my denim jacket out of my sweaty palms and hooks it onto the coat rack.
I bite my lip, fighting the urge to bark back. “Who do you think makes all the burgers and cheese fries down at Level Up, daddy?”
He stalks ahead of me, shaking his head. “Working a grill and a fryer is not the same as making a home-cooked meal for your family. It’s no wonder you still ain’t found a husband.”
I blow out a deep breath. Here we go. I can’t help myself. “Maybe I’ll find a nice wife then,” I call out.
He glares up from behind the refrigerator door as he shoves a bottle of rosé in my hand. “Don’t sass me, girl. You’re about as much of a lesbian as I am an atheist. I don’t know why you test me. You’ve always been a glutton for punishment.”
I chuckle as I twist off the cap and pour myself a large glass of rosé. “I must repent my sins, daddy.”
He groans. “Now what’s this about you staying with Hawk and them? You know that’s bordering on indecent. What will people say, Cherinne?”
I sigh and take a big swig of wine. “It’s just temporary while my place is getting renovated. After the vandalism… I just don’t feel comfortable there right now.” I don’t tell him it was Kane.
He narrows his eyes at me. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t go to the Sherrif. Those heathens are still out there. They could come back.”
I flit past him so I can peer out the sliding door.
Hawk and I lock eyes through the glass. He looks up from flipping burgers while Scarrow and Omen laugh and guzzle beer.
“I told the Sherrif, daddy. There’s nothing they can do.
We installed more cameras and Hawk was nice enough to loan me some of his security.
I’ll be fine.” How else can I assure him?
I can’t exactly tell him that Omen put a bullet in Kane’s head.
He grumbles. “Well, I still think you should consider selling the place. It ain’t respectable.”
I whip around to face him. “Nothing I do is ever respectable to you. I’m sorry I didn’t go to college or get married or become a damn nun. But I’m doing the best I can. I’m following my dreams. And you know what? At least I didn’t end up dead with a needle in my arm like Momma.”
He steps forward, towering over me. “You watch your tone, young lady. Rebeccah Bradley was a fine woman who was led astray. Now, you were a lot to deal with and I had the congregation. She did the best she could too.”
I snicker. “Oh, so it’s my fault she became a drug addict? I didn’t ask you two to have me.”
“Cherinne, you are walking a thin line right now. You might be grown, but you’re still my kid. And I won’t hesitate to whoop your ungrateful ass if you don’t watch your mouth.” His nostrils flare, his face beet red.
I’m shaking as I set the wine glass down on the table. I clench my fists at my side, about to go psycho on his ass when the sliding door flings open behind me.
“You’re here. Good. Come outside and help me with the boys. I need you to distract them so I don’t burn the meat.” Hawk sizes us both up. While he’s always respected my daddy, he’s stood between us before.
“You’re a good man, son. Maybe you can teach this one a thing or two,” Father Eli snaps. “Lord knows she ain’t never learned anything from me.”
Hawk nods and tugs me back. “I already have. Isn’t that right, Cherry? Now excuse yourself properly and come help me.”
I want to scream at both of them, but I remind myself that I’m not a child anymore. That I don’t have to put up with any of this. I can leave. But I don’t. I’m here because the preacher is the only family I got. And I’m all he’s got. So we’re stuck together in our toxic little unit.
I force a smile and unclench my fists. I pick my wine back up from the table. “May I be excused, daddy?” For a second I don’t know which one of them I’m asking.
He grumbles again and nods. “Make sure you come set the table before the food’s ready, you hear?”
“Of course, daddy.” I give him another peck on the cheek before heading outside.
Hawk stalks out behind me holding the bottle of rosé. “You’re welcome. Now drink up so I can top you off.”
I down the whole glass. “Fill me up, please. Thank you.”
“Don’t let him rile you up, mama. You’re a queen,” Omen whispers in my ear.
My belly flutters. “My daddy or Hawk?”
“Both.” He chuckles. “Don’t give up control so easily. Make him earn it.”
I smirk and feel a blush on my cheeks. To think the first time I met this man he wanted to throttle me. Well, he still does, but in a hot way. “Oh, yeah? You gonna let me take control, Om?”
“Only if I get to make you cum first.” He winks and clinks his beer bottle to my glass.
I smile so wide it hurts my cheeks. “Deal.”
Scarrow barrels over and throws an arm around my shoulders. “What are you two whispering about?” he teases.
All the tension leaves my body as soon as I lean against him. “I was just telling him how big his—”
“Careful, Cherry,” Hawk warns as he points the grill tongs at me. “Preacher is watching from the kitchen window, believe that. And he can read body language like a military interrogator.”
Scarrow snort-laughs. “I think I truly understand the meaning behind God fearing now. Because that old man may just be a holy instrument, but he is one tough motherfucker I don’t want to piss off.” He quickly lurches away from me as if whatever sins I have are contagious.
I laugh out loud. “The three of you are in rare form today. Who would’ve thought that the scariest criminals in Crimson Valley would be deathly afraid of the town preacher.”
Hawk smirks. “We’re just being respectable that’s all.”
“You heard that part?” I fidget with the stem of my glass as my shame rears its ugly head at me.
He looks at me with so much love and tenderness I could cry. The same way he did the day of my momma’s funeral. “Cherinne Rose Bradley, you are the most respectable woman I know.”
My belly flutters and my cheeks heat again. “Well, that ain’t saying much, Hawk, You don’t know too many women,” I tease.
He laughs as he shakes his head. “And you got nothing to be ashamed of. I got you. We all do. You can let that onery old man do what he does to keep the peace. But just know that his word is not final.”
“We love you just the way you are, mama,” Omen adds.
Scarrow flashes me a sloppy grin. “See, we got money, freedom, each other, and we’re about to grub down on the second-best burgers in Crimson Valley. Yours being the best, of course. What more do we need?”
I can’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Which is something I haven’t felt often in my life. But these boys have pulled me out of the fucking hellscape. They cleaned up my mess again. But this time the only thing they want in return is me. And all I want is them. So it works out.
I beam back at them. “I better go in and set the table before my daddy threatens me with the belt again.”
Omen’s eyes darken. He places a protective hand on my back. “Not in this lifetime, mama. Come on. I’ll walk you in.”
My stomach knots as I let him pull me into the house. “Om, wait. Don’t do anything stupid.”
My daddy tenses when he sees Om’s hand interlocked in mine. “She giving you trouble, son?”
“Not at all… Respectfully, I’m no one’s son. Not anymore.” Om bows his head slightly to lessen the offense, but the insult has been flung.
My daddy glares at me in response. “The table’s not gonna set itself, Cherinne.”
“Yes, sir.” As I pull away from Omen, he snaps me back.
“Make sure to set yourself up next to me tonight, mama.” He plants a kiss on my cheek.
My daddy’s face turns beat red. He clears his throat and looks away.
I fear that my cheeks look as crimson as his. Holy fuck. “Um. Yeah, I will do that.”
Omen’s hardened gaze flits to my daddy. His jaw ticks. “Good girl.” He smiles, but as he passes, he growls under his breath, “If a belt’s near her ass, it’s gonna be mine.”
Oh shit. I freeze, afraid to even breathe as I wait for an outburst. If I could hear him from over here, then I know my daddy heard him too. Fuck. “Sir, I… um—”
“Cherry, quit your yapping and grab the plates please. I can see Hawk pulling the burgers off the grill.”
“Yes, daddy.” I scurry into the kitchen, my heart racing. Oh my god. I can’t believe that just happened.
Omen Santiago just put Father Eli in his place.
It takes everything I have to keep my hysterical laughter from bubbling out. My daddy’s jaw was on the floor with mine, but he held his tongue.
I quickly set the table, avoiding eye contact. I can feel the scrutiny pulsing off of him even if he’s keeping it to himself. Something tells me that he’s filing this moment away for later. But I won’t let that damper my joy right now.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone leave my daddy speechless like that before,” I whisper in Omen’s ear as he takes the chair beside me.
“I told you I got you. No one’s laying a hand on you. Not even him. Especially not fucking him,” Omen growls under his breath. But loud enough for me to hear.
The smirks on Hawk’s and Scarrow’s faces let me know that Omen filled them in on his little display of dominance earlier. The elation I feel, however temporary, is the best fucking gift anyone could give me.
I’ve never been a damsel in distress. Fuck, this whole mess started because I stabbed three boys to death. I’ve stolen cars, money, fought to survive in this backwoods town.
Crimson Valley folks are tough as nails. Harder than steel. We grow up fast and most die young. But we live for the moment and love like it’s our last day. The ones closest to us bear the brunt of our sins but always keep our secrets.
My daddy ain’t never gonna get used to me owning a bar. And he’s certainly going to keep side-eyeing me every Sunday until he’s down in the ground next to my momma.
But that’s okay. Because I don’t need his approval or his acceptance anymore.
I have my guys. I have my Hawk. It was the one thing that my daddy could never take away from me.
As hard as he tried, he could never keep us from wanting each other.
Deep down he knows that. And that’s his shame to carry. Not mine. Not anymore.
We finish supper, and I help clean up after he makes us all promise to be back next Sunday. Omen barely gives him another look as he struts out the door while Scarrow hugs the man like they’re best friends.
Hawk gives him his usual nod. “Let me know if anything needs fixing around here. I’ll send some guys over.”
“You know I will, son. Take care of your sister for me.” His dark tone does not go unnoticed by any of us.
Hawk puts his hand on my back. “I always do, daddy. Always have.”
Fucking hell.
Father Eli’s lip quivers as he stumbles back slightly. He recovers quickly though. “Don’t forget your jacket, Cherinne. There’s a storm brewing.”
I smile and grab it off the coat rack before letting Hawk guide me out to the cars, his hand still firmly gripping me. “Bet he wasn’t expecting that one. I know I wasn’t,” I murmur.
Hawk shrugs. “He’ll get over it.”
I look up to see the thick dark clouds swirling above our heads. The air is warm and damp and picking up speed. All the perfect components of a summer storm. Those were our favorite. Hawk and I would climb up on the roof and taunt the lightning. Nearly gave my daddy a heart attack every year.
Omen hops into Scarrow’s truck while Hawk takes my keys and opens the passenger door for me. “I’ll drive your car tonight.”
And I’m happy to let him. To give up control. With Hawk, I submit. Always. It’s what makes me happy. “Yes, sir.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. The view’s better from our roof anyway.” He flashes me a knowing grin.
I gasp, my heart fluttering. “You aren’t scared of the storm?”
“My sweet, Cherry girl… you should know this by now. I am the storm.”
I squeeze his hand as he throws it in drive and peels out.
And I’m forever his beacon, guiding him home.
Thank you for reading SMOKE!