Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TAYA
Dragging the rake through the pig shit and hay, I sigh.
My back is hurting like crazy, as it has for the last few days, after I fell asleep in my dad’s favorite chair. My heart aches also; it is missing his smile and his silly dad jokes that he liked to crack, but most of all I miss his hugs.
The sun is being a bitch today, being hotter than Hell’s Kitchen. My skin burns from the heat, but I need to do this today. Sticking to a routine is something my father always taught us.
No matter what happens in life, stick to the routine, so you keep on the right path. Do not let anything pull you from the path that you are destined for.
Moving onto the next area, I bring my hand up to my face, shielding my eyes from the sun as I hear motorcycle pipes and a truck.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
Smoke has invaded my thoughts day and night, the image of him has consumed my dreams. It is confusing thinking of him, my mind and heart are not sure what is right or wrong.
Leaning the rake against the fence, I walk the short distance to the gate to greet them.
My heart skips a beat in my chest when I see Smoke on his Harley.
“Double fuck.”
Standing next to my outside wash station, I remove my gloves and wash my hands, before splashing some water on my face and neck to cool me down. The Nevada heat is a bitch today.
I feel someone watching me, and when I look up, I see Smoke staring. Heat flashes in his eyes as he walks toward me. My tummy tightens. Damn, he looks good.
Tired, but so fucking good.
His jeans fit him like a glove, and his T-shirt is tight to his biceps like it was painted on. The way he walks toward me, his usual swagger gone, his hand tucked into the front pocket of his jeans, his shoulders bunched forward.
It seems like he is guarded.
Crow walks next to him, they both look at me, while Sniper and two prospects go to the back of the truck.
“Taya, how are you?” Crow asks as they stop a few feet away.
“I am good. Dealing with the usual shit.” I like my thumb over my shoulder, making him laugh.
Smoke’s lips twitch, but he looks at the ground. I do not understand his behavior, it is unsettling. I clench my fists at my sides, because I want to ask what his problem is but the need to keep the non-contact is powerful still.
In the days after my father’s funeral, he sent texts and called but I refused to answer; I needed time to sort through things in my head.
“We have three bodies for you today.” Crow’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
I tear my gaze away from Smoke and look to the older yet still very handsome man.
“Who are they?” I ask, folding my arms.
He smirks. “I would usually say club business, which you know, but as it involves you and your family. These three are men who worked for Evander.”
The second I hear his name, my body goes cold.
My fists tighten at my sides, and my nails dig into my palms. I can hear my heart beating so loud, it drowns out all other sounds. I focus on the three bodies being carried toward me; it is all I can see.
My breathing is slow and deep as I try to control my emotions, that are fluctuating between pain and anger. I will take pleasure in cutting them up, but I hate that it is not the evil man himself.
“Breathe, baby. You need to steady your breathing before you pass out, babe.” Hands cup my face, drawing my attention to the body attached to them.
Worry looks back at me in the dark color of his eyes. Leaning back out of his hold, I close my eyes before pushing my shoulders back, looking at the men clad in leather and denim standing before me.
“I am fine,” I say defiantly.
Crow cocks a brow at me, but I say nothing.
“Sniper, get these bodies into the shed for Taya to cut up. I wish they were alive so you could inflict more pain, but it is what it is, honey.”
I shift my gaze to Smoke, who is now looking at me intently, like he is waiting for me to have another panic attack. I hate that I have started having them since my father was killed.
The main house sets them off worse but having my brothers along with Winston and Jesper helps. All four of them and myself have become closer since losing my father. Bobby-Jay was the thread that held us together, so we are doing our best to keep closely connected.
A loud bang sounds around us, and I flinch. My body goes cold and hot at the same time in fear. It sounded like a gunshot, but none of the biker men move, except Smoke, who steps closer to me.
His arms go around my body, holding me to him as I shake.
“It was just Sniper closing the shed door, baby. You are safe.”
I sigh, resting my forehead against his large hard chest. Taking in his leather and oil scent, my body tingles. Closing my eyes I breathe in his familiar scent, which both soothes me and sparks anger within me.
I try to step back, but he holds me firm. Looking up, I see him look over to Crow and the other men, and he nods toward their bikes. Taking the hint, they leave, but Crow stops.
“Money will be wired soon, honey. You take care of yourself, and if you need anything, let the club know.” I nod to Crow, a lump forming in my throat. “But I have a feeling we will be seeing more of you.” He winks, then walks off.
What is he talking about?
It took me days to forgive the club for not arriving in time to save my father. I knew in my head and heart that they were not to blame, only that cocksucker Evander. It hurt my heart that I placed blame on them, when they had done so much for my family.
Hell, they were good for business.
“Taya, can we talk, baby?” Smoke’s tone is low and settles deep in my soul.
I nod, stepping back.
“We can sit over there.” I point to a wooden bench that my dad added for me when he caught me sitting on the fence one day.
I do not wait for a response; I walk over and take a seat. Smoke joins me seconds later, sitting next to me, the heat from his thigh that is touching mine seeping into my bare skin. Shivering, I fail to control my reaction to him.
Shit.
“Okay, I need you to listen to me and not say shit until I have finished,” he speaks up.
“Okay,” I state, looking at him.
“I hate that I hurt you. I never wanted to do that; I wanted to inform you of the plan from the get-go, but I took the order because, fuck, Taya, I wanted a chance to make you see me. The real me, not the biker who fucks women for the sake of getting his dick wet.”
I go to speak, but he cocks an eyebrow at me.
“Carry on,” I huff.
“I know you hate talking about me being with other women, but I am no fucking saint, babe, no use in hiding the fact. The date was real for me, everything that I said to you was fucking real for me. The order from my Pres only made me to man the fuck up and ask you out; I just had to be the real me when I asked you. Which you got that day.
“The real Dustin Templar. Not Smoke the MC brother. The sex, the very hot sex and intense connection is all fucking real. I know that your brothers told you about what happened with the Dreamer at the club.”
I nod. Both Corbin and Carson could not wait to tell me that Smoke was fucking the club girls. Another crack formed in my chest that day, and I let myself cry over the man sitting next to me. I let go of the anger, which made me feel lighter.
But seeing him today brings it back. The pain of his lies, the anger of him sleeping with other women when I didn’t know what we were. It is confusing as hell.
“I did not fuck that Dreamer. I have not fucked anyone since you, or weeks before you, Taya. I swear on my brothers’ lives.”
I gasp, my eyes widen, looking at him at his confession. No member would swear on their brothers’ lives if they were lying.
“It was bad timing. I was drinking, and I was not fast enough to stop her from touching me. Your hot-headed brothers walked in at the exact time she wrapped her arms around me. You can believe me, or you can listen to their bullshit. I am tired of trying to justify myself.”
We say nothing for a time, the silence settles between us, at the same time as the tension builds. I fidget with the frayed edges of my shorts, his words bouncing around my head.
He hasn’t had sex with anyone but me in a long time. He has protected me. Yes, he lied, but I know what club business means to these men. Can I get over that?
I open my mouth, then close it again as my mind gets muddled with emotions and thoughts.
He gets to his feet, my head snapping up to look at him. There is a scowl on his handsome face, his fists clenched at his sides. Shaking his head, he steps back.
“I have said my piece. You know where to find me.”
With that he leaves before I can say anything.
Was I going to say anything?
“Fuck.”
I push to my feet, my body feeling emotionally drained, but I have three motherfuckers to cut up before my babies erase them from this planet once and for all.