12. Zaire
The dancing candlelight cast a warm glow onto her beautiful bronzed skin making me happy I was able to get us a last-minute reservation to City Winery where jazz music from a local band played gently. We had no business being out right now because neither of us had finished packing for our morning flight to Denver but I felt it was important to court her before staying at the hotel where I knew I would be devouring her morning noon and night between conference sessions.
“I feel like you’re trying to butter me up with dinner.”
“Butter you up for what reason? I did nothing wrong.”
Her scowl only made me laugh and shrug.
“I keep telling you Pete won’t say a word and we can keep what we started between us as long as you want to.”
She lifted her glass of water to her lips but held off on drinking. She sat watching me.
“What if I want it to be indefinitely?”
I pretended to feel nothing by her implication. I mean, at one time, that would have been the perfect arrangement, but I wasn’t that person anymore. I wasn’t even the person who started working at Higher Pathways half a year ago. I was constantly evolving. It was my mission as it was the mission I strived to encourage my patients to embrace. No one could become their best selves by staying put.
“If that’s what you want…”
She finally placed the glass to her lips and drank the cool liquid before setting the glass down on the white tablecloth.
“I’m not sure what I want to be honest, Zaire.” Her admission filled me with at least some hope.
“You don’t have to know it all right now. I’m not asking you for that.”
“And what are you asking me for?”
Her eyes were wary.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Not beyond whatever you feel like sharing with me.”
“And in turn?” She sat back.
“I’ll be giving you everything.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
I watched her eyes flutter and fall to my lips before her body shifted beneath the table as she crossed her legs.
I swallowed my smile and sipped my brown liquor.
“Why everything if I can give nothing?”
“Because what I do is what I want to do. If you’d rather miss out on the pleasure we could have with each other, that’s on you. But for me, I plan to enjoy every drop I can get and that requires me to give everything.”
“You make me sound like something special.”
Her words made me consider her. Maybe it wasn’t the words, it was the tone in which she said them.
“I hope you know that you are.”
Her bare shoulder left out from her black slinky dress, lifted in an unconcerned manner, but I could see through her ploy and was surprised by it. There was a part of her that felt insecure and while I didn’t judge her for it, it upset me that something or someone had placed that in her.
“You know, I spend countless hours of my life helping men and women find their voices and shift their realities, but I occasionally struggle with doing that for myself.” Her honesty was endearing.
“I believe there is a flaw in us all for a reason. Being human is having something to work on. Helping people work on themselves requires us to know what it feels like to do it for ourselves.”
“You have answers for everything.” She shook her head in disbelief and maybe something else. Admiration. That pleased me even if I wasn’t fishing for the compliment.
“No, not really. But I pride myself on being honest, especially as a grown man and I want to get to know you, Nala. Will you allow me?”
She gazed at me and I let her see how real I was being with her. I wanted this woman. She needed to know that.
“Let’s take it day by day,” she finally whispered.
“That’s good enough for me.”
I wasn’t quite sure if it was or not because I was sure I wanted all in but I would let her take us at her pace. I knew it would make things better in the end.
I was sure of it.