Chapter 10 Orange Juice
orange juice
FRANKIE
EMERALD BAY, WASHINGTON
I like the class well enough. The professor is cool, the subject matter interests me, but it’s been hard to keep up with all the other shit I’ve got going on.
More than once I’ve slept through early morning classes, mixed up readings, and handed in the wrong paper.
My professors are nice enough when I explain what’s going on, but my grades have suffered.
In high school, I was an A student with ease. I could coast and it wasn’t a problem.
University, though? This shit’s no joke. Some days, I feel like I’m drowning.
Mom offered to hire another in-home nurse to ease the burden, but taking care of her makes me feel a little less helpless.
Just as I reach for my Diet Coke, the sound of something cracking against my bedroom window makes me jump. I chuckle, shaking my head as the surprise wears off and another rock hits the glass.
When I make it to the window I see Daphne Carmichael down there just as expected, leaning on her big blue bike and decked out in a pair of black jeans that she shredded herself, and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt cut off at the navel.
She’s smiling from ear to ear; I’ve loved that smile since we were kids sitting across from each other in Mrs. Nickerson’s second grade class.
I unlatch the window and push it open, leaning out into the warm summer breeze.
“You know if you break my window, you gotta pay for a new one!”
Daphne chuckles, dropping the remainder of her rocks on the grass.
“There’s a party at the beach! Come hang out!”
She’s always been a night owl, and never turns down a chance to knock back a little alcohol in a public setting.
“I have a paper due tomorrow, Daph!”
“And you’ve been working all day! I know you haven’t taken a break because you never texted me back!”
I frown, padding over to my desk to grab my Nokia.
Sure enough...
DAPHNE
BEACH PARTYYYY! I HAVE NEWS!
“Shit.” I wince, giving her a contrite nod once I make it back to the window.
“It’s cool, Goldilocks! I got a bottle of Belvedere with your name on it!”
I groan, shoving my phone into my pocket. I really should tell her I can’t party. I have to work on this paper, and who knows how well mom’ll be doing later in the evening, but I don’t want to disappoint Daphne.
Besides, I’ll never hear the end of it if I skip this one.
“Give me five minutes.”
“Yes!” She hisses, pumping her fist.
I grab my jean jacket, quietly slipping down the hall to mom’s room to check on her before I leave. My anxiety won’t let me leave the house without at least poking my head in the door.
For the past year, mom’s been at a stage that the doctor called ‘plateauing.’ Basically, she hasn’t been getting any worse, but she’s not going to be getting any better. It should feel like a bit of reprieve, but all I can do is think about the inevitable downward slide once this plateau ends.
When I make it to her door I find her fast asleep, propped up on her pillows with a massive book resting on her chest. She’s always loved fantasy stories about dragons and faraway places.
I smile, sneaking toward her and gently placing the book on the nightstand.
These days it's a little escape from reality.
“I was reading that,” she murmurs, her eyes still closed.
“No, you weren’t. You need to rest.”
She opens one eye, grinning from ear to ear.
My mom is stubborn, although she prefers to call it ‘hyper independence’. Sometimes it’s a good thing, then other times we get into fights about the route we take to a doctor’s appointment.
“Was that Daphne throwing rocks at your window?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because she’s been doing it for years. I’m just glad she didn’t break the damn thing again, unless I missed the sound of shattered glass?”
My cheeks warm and I bite my lip.
“Sorry. And no, it’s fine this time.”
Mom reaches up, gently cupping my face.
“I’ll make you a deal: How about I pretend we never had this conversation, and you go be rebellious and sneak out the front door without me knowing?”
“I don’t want to be rebellious,” I chuckle, helping her lean forward so that I can fluff up her pillows. “It’ll only be a couple of hours, and I’ll have my phone with me if you need anything, okay?”
“You’re too good to me, Frankie Bear.”
She always tells me I’m giving up the best years of my life to take care of her, but the truth is? I want to be here. Even if it’s hard, and even if I’m terrified of whatever’s going to happen next.
“Get some sleep.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be back later.”
“Good. And don’t behave yourself.”
I grin, passing her back the book before heading out, and shutting her bedroom door behind me.
“Hey.”
I can almost feel my heart stop, whirling around to find Daphne standing at the end of the hall, chowing down on a banana.
“Jesus Christ, Daph.” I groan. “And you’re stealing my food now?”
“Our food, comrade. You took too long, and I was hungry. You want me to get you one?”
I hate bananas. It’s mostly a texture thing, but when they get too ripe, the smell makes me gag.
“I’m good,” I reply, giving her a little shove with my shoulder as she follows me down the stairs. “How’d you get in, anyway?”
“Spare key under the rock in the front garden, remember?”
“Right. I really gotta change the spot.”
“Rude.”
I sigh as we step outside, taking in the unkempt lawn that I was supposed to mow last weekend but forgot, and forgot, and forgot again. At least the stars are particularly beautiful tonight, little diamonds sparkling and dancing across the sky.
“How’s your mom?” Daphne asks, climbing onto her bike.
“Tired, but she’s really into that Percy Jackson book you gave her.”
She grins.
“I’m glad. Now come on, slowpoke! Party’s already started!”
“Yeah, yeah. Gimme a second.”
In a few clicks and tugs, I manage to free my bike from the world’s rustiest lock, and we set off toward the beach. The night is warm, and Daphne’s mane of copper hair floats behind her like a superhero’s cape as we barrel down the main drag toward the bay.
But as we take the final dirt path toward the water, I realize I still haven’t heard any of the expected whooping or hollering that comes with your standard after-hours beach party.
As if confirming my suspicions, when we come to a stop and hop off our bikes, there’s nobody around.
The only thing I can hear is the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.
“I thought you said there was a party.”
“There is!” Daphne chirps, tearing into her backpack and producing a massive bottle of vodka, along with two distinctly red solo cups. “The distinguished guests this evening are you, me, and some Belvedere!”
“Please tell me you brought something to mix with that shit.”
“Um…” She shoves the mess of cups and booze into my arms before diving back into her bag again, and producing two small bottles of juice. “Cranberry or orange.”
“I hate cranberry juice,” I grumble. “Tastes like gym socks.”
Daphne snickers.
“Are you speaking from experience?”
I do my best to ignore her, pouring a generous amount of orange juice into my cup. It’s enough that she has more than a little trouble adding her normally overwhelming amount of booze.
“Always playing it safe, Goldilocks.”
“Hey, someone’s gotta look after your ass when you’re three drinks in.”
She pours a little too much vodka into her cup before getting to her feet.
“You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”
“Yep.” I sip my drink. “All of us are wondering.”
Daphne takes a few big gulps before letting out a long, loud belch.
“Very classy,” I murmur.
She snickers, taking a little bow.
“Thank you, thank you! So, you remember that demo I recorded with grandpa Joe?”
“Yeah, of course. I played tambourine.”
“Yes!” She bounces up and down on the balls of her feet. “He sent it to Damien Bell at Titanium… he wants to sign me! I might be moving to New York!”
My stomach sinks. The original plan was for Daphne to take a year off and then go to EBU to study music… But it was her dad’s idea for her to go back to school, and I’m pretty sure she only reluctantly agreed. If she got a better offer, she was always going to take it, and well, here we are.
“Frankie?” She asks, her shoulders slumping slightly. “You’re not saying anything… why aren’t you saying anything?”
I smile at her, taking in the way the silvery moonlight makes her eyes look a little more green, and her freckles stand out.
Like stage lights.
I raise my glass, forcing the widest, warmest smile she’s ever seen.
Because I don’t want to lose my best friend.
“To new beginnings, Firecracker.”
She lets out a celebratory roar, her voice tearing through the night like a blade, and then she rushes toward me, falling to her knees. Her eyes are wide, drinking me in with an intensity I’ve never felt from her before.
Firecracker no longer, tonight, she’s a supernova.
“I leave on Friday.”
The hits just keep on coming, like a fucking baseball bat to my skull.
“Wait, you’re leaving already? I thought—”
“Not necessarily to move or anything, but Damien wants to meet as soon as possible, and grandpa said he could help me find an apartment if it all works out! I’m gonna be a fucking rockstar!”
I clink my cup against hers.
I know how much she’s wanted this, and how hard she’s worked. She spent hours upon hours writing, playing guitar, practicing chord progressions on the beach, all as she worked on finding her sound.
“You’re gonna be amazing. The whole world is gonna fall in love with you.”
Daphne’s eyes sparkle with tears.
There are so many more words lodged in my throat, but I swallow them all, along with a big gulp of poorly-mixed alcohol.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
She always used to tell me that we were meant to be bigger than this place, but right now? I think she was wrong. She was meant for more, and I was meant to stay right here.
I can’t ruin her night. It’s time to make the most of it while we still can.
“I wanna give you something before you go.”
I set my cup down beside me in the sand, unclasping the medallion around my neck and holding it out to her.
“Your Saint Christopher?” She whispers. “Frankie, I can’t take this. Your mom gave it to you.”
“Yes, you can.” I drape it around her neck, a lump in my throat. “He protected me, and now he’ll protect you.”
“This is too much,” she breathes.
“You deserve it. All of it.”
Daphne grasps the medallion, practically glowing as I cup her cheek.
“When Damien and I talked on the phone, he said based on what Joe showed him, I might really have something. First step is I cut a demo in the studio, and then who knows? Maybe a single. And then an album. And then a tour.”
Tears stream down her face as her shoulders shake with hysterical laughter.
“Can you imagine?”
“Your name in lights? Easiest thing in the world.”
She sniffles, shaking her head.
“This all feels like a dream.”
Sharing her joy is usually so easy, but my melancholy rolls back in like the tide, submerging me in a brand new kind of grief.
I press my forehead against hers, forcing another smile as I keep distant in our closeness.
I feel like if she put her hand against my chest, she could feel the sharp edges of disappointment gouging into me.
“It’s real, Firecracker.” I sigh. “It’s never felt more real than this.”
She sniffles and I catch a whiff of orange, and the artificial sweetness from her watermelon lipgloss, all buried beneath the stinging scent of vodka.
“I’m really excited, but I’m really fucking scared.”
“Look, you’ll have your grandpa and me, and your parents will have your back. We’ll stay up all night talking on AIM. Hell, my phone plan has free evenings and weekends.”
She lets out a loud laugh, nodding her head.
“Yeah. And you’ll come and visit?”
I don’t know how I’ll afford it.
“Of course. I’d go anywhere for you.”
Daphne rubs her nose against mine and I feel a light crackling sensation creep up the back of my spine. There’s a rush of breath, matched to the crash of waves in front of us.
I press my lips against hers.
The kiss is timid at first, but curious, and then suddenly I feel like I’m going to pass the fuck out as her tongue slips into my mouth. I can feel Daphne’s whole body shiver as she grabs me by the collar, pulling me down on top of her.
I’ve only kissed a girl once before, when we played Seven Minutes in Heaven at Daniel Matheson’s 16th birthday party. Even then I was thinking about Daphne the whole time.
She tears her mouth away from mine, her cheeks dusted pink and her lipgloss smeared around her mouth.
“I always thought you were cute, you know.”
“You did?”
I lift my head, looking into her eyes as that intensity in her gaze returns.
Piercing me.
Her hand snakes around the back of my neck and she pulls me closer.
“Can we make my last night in Emerald Bay one to remember?”
And with that, I know for sure.
Her absence will feel like losing a piece of myself.