All of You
FRANKIE
Daphne’s the kind of woman you want to savor, like a warm glass of bourbon that hugs your bones after a long day, or that tingling feeling you get when you’re lying in bed and stretch all your limbs out at once.
And right now, she’s all mine, staring up at me with those dazzling mossy green eyes, glistening with tears from choking on my cock.
I take up her leash, guiding her to her feet and leading her to the bed. There’s nothing rough or demanding about it. I want to ease her into the next steps and make sure she knows that no matter what it seems like, she calls the shots.
I secure the chain to the bedpost before reaching back into my bag and grabbing a big black paddle. It’s older, and the leather has softened and worn over years of use, which means it’s great for a beginner. I brush it over her backside, my dick throbbing at the way it makes her shiver.
“I want you to tell me what this feels like.”
She turns her head, staring at me in the mirror as I glide the paddle down the back of each of her thighs, one after another.
“It’s soft,” she whispers. “Feels good, sir.”
Maybe it’s the endorphins, maybe it’s all the power she’s given me, or maybe it really is just her, but I’m riding high right now.
And all I want to do is please her.
Over my years of writing on the subject, I’ve discussed more than a little of my own style of domination. Punishment, withholding, and denial are all the peak of pleasure for some doms, but me? I like to watch my subs squirm and sob while they come over and over again.
Tonight, I want these sheets soaked.
“I’ll give you five hits. You’ll count them, and you’ll tell me if you want it softer or harder. Do you understand the instructions?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl.”
She’s desperate, and that’s exactly what I want, her hands sinking into the silk sheets and twisting them like ropes.
I have to admit, seeing her like this is giving me the tiniest compulsion to forget this whole thing and take her right now, but my job is to teach her, and today she’s going to learn the art of impact play.
I flip the paddle in my hand, getting used to the weight of it; working out exactly how hard I want to swing it. It’s a fine line to walk since she’s a beginner, but I’m an old hand at this.
“Breathe in for me, Firecracker.”
She slowly sucks in a deep breath as I raise my arm high in the air.
My adrenaline is pumping. There’s a lot of pressure in being a dom— pressure to say the right things, to do things the right way… to make sure your sub is getting the right kind of care.
“Breathe out.”
Crack!
Daphne yelps, burying her face in the mattress as a bright red welt blooms on her ass.
I wait, and watch for any sign that she wants to stop.
Over time, you learn to read body cues, because sometimes a sub can’t judge their own limits in the heat of the moment.
Really, it’s all an art.
“That’s one. Now I need you to count the rest for me, just like we talked about.”
It’s partially a test to make sure she’s still got clarity. For someone who lacks practical experience, the pleasure and the… fuzziness that comes with it all can overpower reason. My job is to make sure we toe that line.
“I need words, Firecracker.”
She lifts her head, and I catch a glimpse of her face in the mirror: stormy eyes with parted lips, and wine-colored blush staining her cheeks.
“I can count them.”
“That’s a good girl.”
Beads of sweat have started to form on her back and I have to resist the urge to lean forward and lick them off of her skin. Instead, I hit her again, maintaining the same amount of force as before.
“Two!”
Another strike, and this time, she practically sings.
“Three!”
Another.
“Four!”
She’s rocking back and forth on all fours, purely animalistic, and desperate for more. I press my hand against the welt on her ass and breathe with her.
“Last one. You’re doing so good.”
Daphne looks over her shoulder and for a moment I think I’ve gone too far, until her mouth curls into a sultry little grin.
“As hard as you can.”
I don’t know if I’ve ever craved a woman like this. For so long she was that forbidden fruit that I’ve told myself I could never taste again.
When I hit her for the fifth and final time I catch a glimpse of her face in the mirror, her eyes glowing like flames in the dark.
Begging.
“Alright, very good. Now tell me what you want.”
She twists her body around so that she’s lying on her back, facing me once again.
“I want to see all of you.”
“All of me?” I rasp, surprised by the sudden feeling of vulnerability.
I usually don’t get fully undressed. As much as I’ve come to terms with the scars on my body, there are only a handful of people who have seen me fully naked, and only after building up a hell of a lot of trust.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes, filling in the blanks like she already knows what I’m thinking. “You don’t have to—”
I cut her off with a kiss, slow and sensual, and she moans as she slips a hand around the back of my neck, playing with the hairs at the nape.
I lean back, smiling at the smear of red lipstick I’ve left around her mouth.
“I never said wheelbarrow, Firecracker. That word isn’t just for you.”
This could be the moment of truth, the one that I’m always afraid of: the staring, the questions, and all the unwanted pity that comes along with them… But Daphne has never treated me like I’m broken.
Her eyes track every movement as I kick my shoes off and slowly unbutton my shirt, revealing a chest covered in tattoos, themselves just barely covering my many scars.
I have to breathe through the discomfort as I let my shirt fall to the floor and wait.
I don’t think I’ve ever been watched this closely before, but my eyes are busy searching hers.
For or judgment.
For questions.
For disgust.
None of it comes.
“Show me more.”
My heart jackhammers a chaotic and messy rhythm against my ribs and I take a deep breath, unbuttoning my pants and slipping them down past my hips. The damage to my chest was child’s play compared to what happened to my legs.
But even after years of working through things, and learning to let go of the pain and self-hatred, I feel like I’m back to square one, struggling to even look down at myself.
I can only watch her as she studies the scars I know so well, formed through years of x-rays, skin grafts, and lofty promises that once left me nearly broke and full of resentment.
But that was then, and this is now.
No more armor. No more walls.
Daphne reaches behind her neck, her eyes locking with mine as she removes her collar and slides off the bed. Normally, I’d consider punishing a sub for not asking permission, but these are pretty unique circumstances.
She slinks toward me, placing one hand over my hummingbird heart.
“Frankie, you’re beautiful.”
Daphne nuzzles against me, running her hands down my arms, and suddenly, I’m that gangly 19-year-old kid again, basking in her warmth on the beach. I can almost hear the waves crashing against the shore.
“Are you okay?”
I smile, tears in my eyes as my heart soars.
“Never been better.”
I scoop her up off the ground and she squeals as I toss her onto the bed. Her copper hair splays out on the white sheets like spilled wine and I feel like I’m vibrating, riding a high I never want to come down from.
No feelings.
I kiss her as hard and as deeply as I can, relishing the sounds she makes, and the way she winds her arms around me, holding me tight.
No. Feelings.
It won’t be like that night.
There will be no ill-timed confession.
No heartbreak, because she’ll never know.
I grab a condom from the nightstand, tearing the package open with my teeth.
“You need help here, sir?”
She giggles as the latex nearly tumbles from my shaking fingers.
It’s hard not to feel self-conscious with her watching me, licking her lips like a starving animal. That night on the beach, I remember getting the shakes so bad she asked me if I was okay. I was afraid I’d be bad— or maybe worse, boring.
“I’m doing just fine, Firecracker.”
I stretch out on top of her, grasping her wrists and pinning them above her head with one hand. Her breath hitches and she flashes me a devilish smile, her cheeks blazing.
“I think you got bigger since the last time we did this.”
I lean down, brushing my lips against her ear. She knows how to make me blush, but I can play her game.
“It’ll fit. I’ll make sure of it.”
I line the head of my cock up and slowly push inside her, a series of incoherent moans dripping from her lips that I lap up like honey, kissing her again as I sink deeper and deeper.
It feels like every memory I have of her flashes by when I close my eyes:
Chasing her through the darkness while we sprinted down the beach.
Lighting off fireworks and watching her shriek with glee as she jumped over the sparks.
Listening to records together and flipping through magazines, planning what we would wear to her first Grammy Awards.
Helping me take care of the house when mom couldn’t do it anymore, and it was all up to me.
It feels like every important moment of my life, Daphne was there… even when she wasn’t.
6,026 days, and I thought about her for every single one of them.
“More.” Her voice is strained with desire, calling me back to her. “More, baby.”
I release her wrists, propping myself up with one arm as I wrap my free hand around her throat.
“Open your mouth,” I growl.
She already knows what’s coming, licking her lips as she obeys. I spit on her tongue and she swallows it as her nails dig into my back.
“Fuck, your cock feels so good,” she whines. “You’re so fucking big.”
“Yeah, you like this tight little pussy stretched, don’t you?” I snarl. “You’re such a good girl taking my whole cock.”
“Yes, daddy!”
Holy shit.
Did I hear that right?
I dig my toes into the mattress as I start slamming my hips against hers.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes. “I got—”
“No.” I cut her off with a kiss. “I fucking love it.”
Lightning feels like it’s shooting down my spine as I reach a frantic pace.
“Harder! I’m so close!”
Our moans bounce off the walls and I squeeze her throat, tighter and tighter until her face turns red and her eyes darken.
She’s so damn beautiful like this.
“I’m gonna come,” she chokes. “I’m gonna fucking come!”
The headboard slams against the wall as I buck harder, squeeze harder, do everything I can until she’s right on the edge, and then just as she tumbles over I let everything go at once. She gasps for air, crying out my name as she comes, but I’m not done yet.
“One more,” I grunt. “Give me one more.”
She trembles against me, and I push my face into the crook of her neck as her nails sink into my back.
“Fuck!”
An explosion of warmth floods all the way down to the tips of my toes, and we ride our waves together, groaning and panting as we start to come down from our collective high.
“How do you feel?”
She’s quiet for a moment as I nuzzle against her, simply running her fingers through my hair.
“I wasn’t thinking about anything but you, wasn’t anywhere but here. I just got to feel. The pain… the pleasure, all in the moment—” She giggles. “And it was perfect.”
“Well, congratulations, gorgeous. Looks like you just passed your exam.”
“Looks like I have a great tutor.”
I press a chaste kiss against her cheek before sliding off the bed and grabbing the black duffel bag I brought with me.
“What’s that?” Daphne asks, rolling onto her side.
“A little aftercare kit.”
I’ve got to establish an appropriate routine for after a session, but it’s hard not to grin like a fucking idiot as I pull out my big EBU sweater, a bottle of water, and toss her one of the candy bars.
“You got me a Twix?!” She gasps.
“They’re still your favorite, I hope?”
Her eyes well up with tears and she puts her head in her hands. Shit, she’s dropping. It can happen after really intense sessions.
“Hey, you’re okay. Just breathe.”
I put my hand on her back and she lifts her head.
“This is just so nice, and I feel like I don’t deserve it.”
“Well, you do. We’ll get you warm and hydrated. The sugar will help to boost your mood a little too.”
She sniffles, wiping her eyes.
“I feel silly.”
We tend to underestimate how intense sex really is. Physically, emotionally, mentally, there’s a lot going on. Adding kink on top of that just heightens everything.
“It’s not silly. Remember what I said at that bondage class? Sometimes your body can’t tell this isn’t play once all those hormones and chemicals get involved.” I give her a little kiss, making sure her eyes are on me. “There’s nothing wrong with you. This is totally normal.”
Daphne blushes as I help her into her sweater, making sure she’s warm enough before I grab one of my own.
“That’s really sweet, Frankie. Thank you.”
“It’s no trouble at all.”
“So,” she chuckles, doing her best to shift the mood. “How much time do we have?”
“As long as we want. I booked us for the night.”
“Well then, you wanna split this?” She asks, handing me one of the chocolate fingers. “I’d say that was worth celebrating.”
I nod, taking the treat with a smile as she taps hers against mine.
“To new horizons.”
Just like her dropping, I know what I’m feeling is simply juiced-up brain chemistry.
It’s neurons firing, overloaded pleasure centers, and a surplus of oxytocin.
It’s just the natural payoff for a long-building desire.
Of course it is. Of course it is.
“To new horizons.”
Of course.