Chapter 7
Smokehouse
I knocked on Lock’s office door and waited until he called me in. His brows rose when he saw me, but he motioned for me to take a seat. He sat back in his chair, giving me his full attention.
A frown formed on his face when I sat there quietly trying to figure out how to start. “Everything alright, Smoke?”
“Yeah.” Silence descended again after I blurted out the word as I searched for how to tell him what was going on.
He waited, knowing I’d get to what I needed to say eventually.
I wasn’t sure how he had so much patience.
It was something I wished I had more of.
Lock was only ten years older than me. But most of the time it seemed like the guy was some ancient fucking wise man.
Everyone knew if they had a major problem he was the one to go to.
Even if he wasn’t the club president, we’d still go to him with our troubles.
He didn’t go out and get drunk. He didn’t bring home women. He worked hard. He led our crew in a way that everyone respected and loved him for. We didn’t fuck around when it came to what he asked of us because no one wanted to disappoint him.
The club had a much different feel today than it did growing up.
Not that the previous president was a bad guy, or that it wasn’t a good club then.
It was just so different now. That could be because I wasn’t a kid anymore and these men truly were my brothers.
I’d give my life for them in an instant, no questions asked.
For all the fun that we had, the club had a real purpose.
We had moved past drugs and gun running.
Lockout had put us on the vigilante course.
No one, except Lockout, had realized the importance of that.
During the war he recognized that we were a bunch of loaded weapons, time bombs that were returning home without a real purpose.
He solved that. Gave us something that not only helped our community but gave us a sense of purpose that kept us from going insane.
“For the entirety of the time you prospected, I wondered if you were going to stay.”
I looked up at Lock, realizing I’d stayed quiet, lost in my thoughts for too long. “Why?”
“You were here before me. I wasn’t sure if you would want to be a part of what the club was becoming.”
Grinning at him, I shook my head. “I swear to Christ sometimes I think you can read minds.”
Lockout chuckled. “Not a power I would ever want.” He curled his lip in disgust. “Especially around here. Imagine knowing every single thing everyone thinks every day. No fucking thanks. My ego couldn’t handle it.”
I laughed. We all had massive egos. It came with being bikers, military, and all around just the kind of men we were. Getting our own way was ingrained in each of us. We set aside that ego when we needed to, but it was always there.
“I was just a kid before. This is my club. I knew it from the first day I came back and started hanging around. Do you remember that night?”
Lock’s brows drew together. “I actually don’t.”
“I’m not surprised. Rip was the one who let me stick around at that party. You guys had invited a bunch of people, trying to get your numbers up.”
“There were a lot of parties during that time,” he said with a nod. “Not so many anymore.”
It was rare for us to accept new club members now. We were a good sized MC and could afford to be picky about who we let in.
“I was leaning against the bar inside the clubhouse, watching everyone. Trying to get a feel for you guys. I’d heard that you were former military, but that didn’t mean I was planning to just jump in. There were plenty of guys in the Army I couldn’t stand. That alone wasn’t going to tempt me.”
Lock folded his arms over his chest, silently watching me as I recounted what had happened.
“Things were going fine. A couple of the guys had stopped to talk to me. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to you yet.
I was about to approach you when one of the guys back handed his old lady so hard she cracked her head on the floor when she landed.
” I shook my head, remembering how angry I’d been.
“I didn’t even have time to move. Rip was down on the floor with her in seconds.
Hush was wading through people like an angry fucking bull, but you got to the guy first.”
Fury flashed in his hazel eyes. “Greg. I wish I could go back and beat the shit out of him all over again.”
My grin was sharp as I remembered how much blood the fucker lost while Lockout had fought him.
That was the first time I had seen Lockout's legendary temper, and why he had earned the name Lockout. He kept it under control most of the time because to do anything else would be deadly to those around him. He was like two sides of a coin and it was pure chance which you’d get in any given situation.
He went from zero to a million in seconds.
“Found out as guys jostled around, trying to get in front of each other to watch, that Greg was a weekender who’d tried to get into multiple clubs. ”
“Even before he’d hit his old lady, I knew I wasn’t going to let him in.”
Of course he wouldn’t. Lock was an excellent judge of character.
There were men he hadn’t even talked to before he offered for them to prospect with our club.
Hellfire had been one of those. Hell had shown up six months after I’d started prospecting and as soon as he’d walked into the club, in the middle of the day, and announced his desire to join, Lock had said yes.
Most of the time guys had to be a hangaround before they were allowed to prospect.
Lock had taken one look at Hellfire and agreed to let him in.
It made sense. Hellfire had that kind of presence.
You knew as soon as you looked at him that he was as loyal as any man could be.
He had a kindness about him, but if pushed he would tear down the building around you to protect those who needed it.
He wore his fucking heart on his sleeve and Lockout had seen that immediately.
“Beating the shit out of Greg would have been enough to convince me that I liked your style.” Dad’s club had never agreed with hurting women.
The men had loved their old ladies and had shown it every day.
It was one of the few ways the clubs were alike.
“But when you shoved him to the ground, put your boot on his back, yanked his head up by the hair, and demanded he apologize to Sylvia… I knew you were my kind of leader.”
Lockout smiled and tilted his head. “Shit. I forgot that we basically got you and Syl on the same night.”
“It was so fucking satisfying watching Greg blubber out an apology to her. Hush and Rip were her shadows the rest of the night, making sure no one fucked with her. I knew I’d learn everything else I would need to during the prospecting period, but then and there I knew I wasn’t going to fail you. I wanted in.”
“We’re damn lucky to have you, Smoke. And Kit. She’s like a sister to all of us.” His lips twitched. “Most of us.”
“What does that mean?”
“While I appreciate the trip down memory lane, Smoke, something tells me there’s a different reason you came in here.”
He was changing the subject, but what I needed to discuss was too important to deviate from to chase down the meaning of his previous words. “I’m going to have a kid.”
Shock replaced the calm expression on Lock’s face. He seemed to be searching for what to say. “You knocked someone up?” he guessed.
“Yeah. About a month ago. Just found out about it a few days ago, and… She’s got this ex. He’s a douche and she has nowhere to go.”
“You want to move her in.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah. I know no one knows her yet, but-”
“She’s the mother of your child. She can stay here.”
Relief made my shoulders sag. I should have talked to Lock before I’d even approached Dani, but I’d been in such a hurry to speak with her nothing else had seemed to matter.
Then the offer to move in with me had passed my lips before I’d thought about it.
Lock could give me shit for bringing her here without talking to him first. It would be within his right.
I knew he would say yes, and he could chastise me for taking advantage of his good nature. But he wasn’t that type.
“She’s already here,” I admitted.
“I figured.” He studied me as though I was under a microscope. “She’s yours. She needs help. I don’t hold it against you, not for making the right decision.” He waited a beat, then asked, “What’s your plan?”
“Plan?”
“You going to make her your old lady? Marry her?”
I blew out a breath. “No. Having a wife, or an old lady, isn’t in the cards for me.”
“Bullshit.”
I chuckled. “Okay.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but your mother was a loser. She left you and Kit when you were so young. None of that was your fault. Rachel was just a cunt.”
“Jesus,” I muttered, cracking my knuckles as a way to relieve the emotions this talk was creating within me. “Don’t hold back.”
“I haven’t been able to get this through your head, Smoke. Maybe pounding it in is the only way. Those women were worthless. You’re better off without them. I don’t know your new woman yet. Something tells me you wouldn’t have brought her here if she wasn’t different.”
“Maybe.”
“Do me one favor.”
“What?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.
“Give her a chance.”
Shaking my head, I sighed. “A chance for what , Lock?”
“To prove that not all women are like your mother and ex. That having an old lady can be the best damn feeling in the world.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I admitted. It wasn’t even that I wasn’t willing to make Dani mine. It was more the problem that she would leave me. I’d promised myself never to put myself into a situation like that again.
“Just think about it.”
It was too much. Admitting to Lock that I’d knocked someone up.
The knowledge that I was going to be a father.
The feelings I already had for Dani. Feelings for a woman I barely knew.
The worry that she’d end up being like the other women in my life and would be the one to walk out on me. I couldn’t talk about it right now.
Lock seemed to realize I was shutting down. “Take apartment twelve.”
“What?”
“The two of you can’t live in the room you’re currently in. Twelve is vacant. Priest had all of the apartments cleaned out. You’ll be more comfortable there and so will she.”
“Thanks, Prez.”
“Anytime.” I stood up, and had my hand on the door before he spoke again. “This is a life changing thing for you, Smoke. You’re going to need to talk about this shit with someone. You know you’re always welcome to come to me. But if not, make sure you speak with someone. Anyone.”
I nodded, then left the room. The emotions he’d stirred up clogged my throat and made my heart thrum at a quick pace in my chest. This was the reason I hated thinking about my mother.
About Rachel. It was better to keep them, and by default my own shortcomings, lodged somewhere deep down where they couldn’t be examined.
I cursed when I saw how many people were out in the main area of the clubhouse by the time I got out there. My eyes met the bluish-gray gaze of my sister. She gave me a soft, understanding look, and I knew she had already heard. I wasn’t sure how, but it didn’t matter. I’d talk to her later.
For now, I wanted to get Dani upstairs and settled in.
Holding out my hand to her, I grabbed her bag with my other, and led her upstairs, ignoring everyone else.
Lock would make sure Priest knew we were taking apartment twelve for ourselves.
My brothers would have to wait, right along with my sister, to talk.
I just wanted to barricade myself upstairs with the woman who’d somehow gotten her claws into me.