25. Elouise
Elouise
With our order taken, the waitress grabs our menus and walks away.
“Well…” Maddie twirls one of her long black curls around a finger.
“Well, what?” I reply, fighting hard against the urge to grin.
She rolls her eyes, “You’ve been avoiding me ever since you got back from that little camping trip.
” She lets the curl spring free so she can point her finger at me.
“A trip, I might add, that you were dreading. And, you said you’d text me every night.
Which you didn’t do.” I open my mouth, but she wags her finger to stop me.
“What you did do was leave me a frantic voicemail about seeing your old crush Beckett. Which, I still don’t understand how that’s possible.
And then proceeded to ignore my calls, leaving me with freaking nothing. ”
I wait a beat to make sure she’s done, “Want me to talk now?”
Maddie crosses her arms, “Not yet.” Narrowing her eyes, she gives me her best attempt at a glare, but on her pretty heart-shaped face it’s the furthest thing from intimidating. Giving up she huffs, “Ugh, fine. I’m done. Now spill.”
The waitress comes back, setting down our drinks. A hard cider for Maddie, and water for me since classes start back up tomorrow.
I take a sip of my water, giving myself another moment to gather my thoughts.
The restaurant, Darling Bites, is noisy, but it’s a staple in this small town, and has been here for as long as I can remember. During the day it’s the perfect place to grab breakfast and lunch, but once the evening hits, the lights dim, the voices ramp up, and the bar opens.
I let go of my glass and twist my napkin between my fingers, “I didn’t call you those other nights because I wasn’t alone in the tent.”
“Yeah- but didn’t you say that Rebecca lady was cool? I can’t imagine she’d care about you making a phone call,” her brows furrow as she takes a sip of her drink.
“Right. Well…” how do I say this, “it wasn’t Rebecca in my tent. It was Beckett.”
Maddie tips her head forward, letting her mouthful of booze spill back into the glass.
“Classy,” I laugh.
She ignores me. “I’m sorry, what?! Are you telling me that you slept with your Beckett, and you didn’t even tell me!?”
The way she says your Beckett sends a warm possessiveness flowing through my body, but I shove it away. He’s not mine.
“Well, we didn’t… you know.”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t know.”
I look around, making sure no one can hear us. But we’ve snagged a high-top table in the back corner of the bar area, and everyone else is deep in their own conversations.
Leaning closer, I whisper, “We didn’t have sex.”
Maddie blinks, “Okay… but you did something .”
I almost ask her how she knows, but she’s my best friend. Has been since she cheated off my math homework in the first grade. If anyone could tell something’s different with me, it’d be her.
My chin dips down, “We did something.”
Memories of Beckett - behind me, touching me, above me - flicker though my mind.
“My oh my,” Maddie fans a hand in front of her face, “I can feel the lust from here.”
I roll my eyes, but I don’t try to correct her. Because she’s right. Just thinking about him is making me all sorts of hot and bothered.
“Okay-” she takes a sip, not spitting it out this time, “details. I want all the details. ”
Considering we share everything with each other, this shouldn’t be difficult to do. But I still reach across the table, grab her glass and take a large drink of cider.
Maddie listens quietly as I go through the events day-by-day. But she throws a fit over Creepy Dad trying to crawl into my tent, losing it as any best friend should. Then I explain Beckett coming to my rescue and Maddie flips straight to swooning.
By the time I finish my story – ending on how I woke up alone in the tent on the last morning – Maddie’s ordered a second drink and we’ve nearly finished our burgers.
“I’m so jealous,” Maddie grumbles.
A laugh rolls out of me, “You should be.”
I feel so much lighter, like some sort of burden has been lifted off my mind just from telling Maddie about Beckett. I knew he’d been consuming my thoughts, but I hadn’t realized how much it’d been weighing me down.
Maddie sags against the back of her chair, “Seriously though, I haven’t had sex in...” she drums her fingers on her chin, “I don’t even know how long it’s been.”
“Technically, I didn’t have sex either.”
She scoffs, “No, you just had a hot-as-hell fingerbang and a face fuck session with the man you’ve been pining over for 23 years.”
I grin, “I mean, if you’re gonna word it like that.”
“You’re the worst.”
I grab the bottle of ketchup and squeeze more onto my plate. “I won’t deny that it was a good time.” I pop a fry into my mouth. “But you could be getting some too, if you took the time to start dating.”
“Not everyone has a childhood crush to just walk back into their life and sweep them off their feet,” she gestures around the room. “How am I supposed to meet anyone new while living in this dinky town and working all the damn time?”
When I lift an eyebrow, she waves me off, knowing what I’ll say.
We’ve had the online dating discussion too many times to count. Granted I’ve never used a dating app either, but I’m also not the one who’s complained for years about wanting a boyfriend .
“So-” Maddie starts, changing the topic, “did you make plans to see each other again?”
“No,” I sigh and it’s my turn to sag in my seat. “I don’t know if he had something pressing to get to, but he was gone from the campsite when I woke up. Like all the way gone. He didn’t even stick around to get his sleeping bags.”
“I mean, that could be good…” Maddie drums her fingers against the table. “You said it was high end stuff, so he’ll probably want it back.”
“Maybe,” I shrug a shoulder, “but we didn’t exchange numbers or anything so I’m not sure how he’d accomplish that.”
Maddie purses her lips and hums.
Shaking off the thought, I sit up straighter, “I just wish I knew what he was thinking.”
Maddie laughs, “Right. As if men have any fucking clue what they’re thinking themselves.”
“Fair.”
A devilish look comes over Maddie’s features, “Okay so now that I know the good stuff, I need you to remind me what he looks like. I remember when he came into the coffee shop that one time, but that was forever ago and I just remember him being hot. And I remember you making a fool of yourself.”
“Har har,” I fake laugh then heave out a breath, “I dunno. He’s just hot. I’m not good at describing people.” I let my gaze track over the people in the restaurant, like I might suddenly find Beckett’s doppelganger. “He looks like…”
My eyes keep jumping around, no one close enough in appearance to even point out.
Until movement near the door catches my attention.
My stomach clenches and a wave of nausea rolls through me.
“He looks like that,” I whisper, staring at Beckett as he walks past the bar and towards the main dining area. Not alone.
Cueing into the change in my tone, Maddie leans into the table and lowers her voice, “Wait, is he here?”
I nod, watching as the waitress brings Beckett, an attractive woman, and a kid to a table. They’re just at the edge of my sight line, but when the waitress stops to set the trio of menus on the table, Beckett drapes his arm over the woman’s shoulders.
I only got a glance of her as she passed, but she looked to be about Beckett’s age.
And she’s pretty. Her light brown hair and features reflected back in the small boy standing just behind them.
He looks to be about 8 years old and something about him feels vaguely familiar, but I can’t focus on him right now.
I’m too zeroed in on the woman leaning against Beckett’s chest. At the smile on his face as he looks down at hers.
When the waitress moves, allowing them to sit, I quickly face back towards Maddie.
Her eyes are wide as she stares back at me, “It might not be what it looks like.”
I choke out an unamused laugh, “I don’t think I’m lucky enough for that cliché to be true.”
“Are you going to confront him?” her face pales as she asks the question. Maddie hates confrontation more than she hates spiders.
The shake of my head has her visibly relaxing, but I still feel on the verge of throwing up.
The sense of betrayal is so thick over my skin that it feels physical. How could he have hidden this from me? And to be here, in this busy restaurant, in the town I live in… Does he really think no one will find out?
“I want to leave,” I whisper.
Maddie reaches out, placing her hand flat on the table, “Go. I’ll take care of the bill.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, feeling bad about sticking her with my meal, but knowing that I can’t stay here a moment longer.
“I’m sure.”
I glance around, “You don’t think he’ll see me, do you?”
Her mouth twists, “I can walk past their table and make a scene. Draw the attention away from the door.”
I almost smile, “How would you do that?”
“I could accidently dump a pitcher of beer over his ugly head.”
“I love your face,” I tell her, meaning it more than I ever have. “But I think I’ll just pull my hood up and slip out. ”
“I love your face, too,” the look Maddie gives me is so full of sympathy that I almost break.
Not giving myself time to start a mental breakdown, I slide off the chair and pull my jacket on, yanking the hood up over my head. It might look a little weird, but it’s not so out of place that I’ll draw attention.
I pull my keys out of my purse and clutch them tightly as I walk between the tables, aiming for the door, letting the cool metal hold my attention.
It’s not until I’m stepping outside that my discipline slips.
As the door swings shut behind me, I glance across the restaurant, and lock eyes with Beckett.