Chapter 8 Lucy
Dinner was exactly what I needed. Time with my family can never compete with a shitty day.
Spence, Heath and Briar walk me down to my house, they hug me and make me promise to take it easy.
Now that Briar’s safely tucked me into my bed–instead of talking my ear off–my thoughts won’t stop wandering to Reese.
Why is he here now when he didn’t bother coming to Levi’s funeral. Not that I wanted to go myself, but I felt a sense of duty to go. Like if I didn’t, I would feel guilty.
So I went to his funeral, and sat there in shame. Hearing people talk about the way he was kind or nice, when he was actually a fucking monster, made me physically ill.
I didn’t stay for the family affair after. I couldn’t stomach it. It didn’t feel right to mourn him when I wanted to spit on his casket for all his victims, as they lowered him into the ground. All that rage made me reckless, stupid.
I’ve done a few things I’m not proud of, and bless Sheriff Follie for understanding.
I spent one too many nights at my family’s bar.
The Rowdy Raven was the only comfort I could find for the longest time.
Uncle Scott and Aunt LuAnna kept me busy for a while.
Until the drinking started and I spent more nights than I care to admit blacked out.
Nights like those are ones I’d rather not remember.
I was safe, and well taken care of. Between Spence and Scott I always ended up alone in my own bed.
Not everyone is that lucky I realize. The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me, and I’m aware of how much I was toeing the line.
I don’t have any rational reason for why I did it, maybe it was something in my subconscious trying to tempt fate.
Why did I get away unscathed with Levi when so many other innocent women were hurt?
Why did he never hurt me? So many unanswered questions, and I’ll never get the answers.
I’m just glad I snapped out of it before anything devastating happened.
Rolling over to paw at my nightstand for my phone, I pull the device from the old worn top of my night stand and unplug it.
Shifting in my bed to find a more comfortable position, I flick through the various social media apps I have profiles for but never actually post on, until I can’t take it anymore and pull up my text thread with Indy.
ME: Levi’s brother is in town and he bought flowers.
ME: Well didn’t actually buy them because I never charged him, but still.
I’m just firing text after text at this point, and I have no idea if she’s even finished up her chores, but I continue anyway.
ME: And then he showed up at the diner, and Mawmaw made him my melt. Then I literally swooned at the sight of blood, and he bandaged me up.
ME: Now my brain won’t shut off and I’m worried I might be losing my mind…
That wasn’t very rational, and I’m not sure how much sense it made, but I feel lighter. The screen shows delivered, and then read, so I know she’s still up despite having to gear up for the new season of ranching.
Text bubbles pop up, and go away and I start to wonder if I should have just called. Or maybe she’s trying to find a nice way to tell me I’ve lost my marbles.
My phone rings, Indy’s face lights up the screen from one of the sillier moments of our lives and I smile before swiping to answer.
“Goose, tell me that made some sense,” I whine, covering my eyes with my arm.
“Not a chance, Buttercup,” she laughs and I can tell she’s still out in the barn or something because of the echo. “You’re on speaker, but ain’t nobody out here. Now, explain please?”
“Levi’s older brother–you know, the one who’s never here–bought flowers from me today,” I start to which she interrupts
“But you didn’t charge him,” she says as if she’s calculating a math problem.
“Right, because the WiFi was spotty, you know how the train station gets, and,” I let loose a breath, trying and failing to come up with an explanation that doesn’t sound completely weird in my head.
“And?” She prompts, and I swear I can hear a smile in her voice.
“He just left his card, said he’d find me later or somethin’ honestly, I was thrown off by the size of him, I didn’t know who he was until he left and I still had his card.”
She doesn’t say anything on the other end, just hmm’s noncommittally.
“I need more than a hmmm, Goose,” I demand, “I’m freaking out. Why can’t I stop thinkin’ about him?”
She chuckles on the other line, and my eyes narrow. She probably has something smart to say, but she loves me enough to hold it back. Only I know she’s holding back because of the laugh.
“Dooo you still have his card?” She asks, pressing the button to take me off speaker.
I can hear the water from the hose turn on and the stream hitting the bottom of the heavy plastic buckets she uses for her horses.
It’s way too late for her to still be doing this, but I’ve tried to get her to hire help for years and she gets all prickly so I’ve stopped bringing it up.
“I think so?” I have to think about it, “I was going to give it to him at the diner, but ended up with a bloody skull instead.” His handsome face swims into my vision, and the cheeky smile he had when he told me he’d be back. “I’m pretty sure I still have it.”
“You sound sure,” she huffs, and the water stops. “Why don’t you find him tomorrow before you head to the diner, give it back as soon as you can.”
“How would I find him?” I ask, my brain must really be on ‘off’ mode because she scoffs through the phone.
“Search him up,” she says, simple. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find him. The powers of the internet abound.”
My eyes latch onto the ceiling that was once ugly and pocketed with plaster. Heath’s really taken this handyman thing seriously. He even painted my ceiling a light teal so it always looked like the sky, even from my bed.
“Loo?” She asks, pulling my attention away from the thoughtfulness of Heath’s gesture. “I’ll ride with you wherever you need to go if you want me to.”
“Yeah,” licking my lips I let out a deep breath and feel my chest ease a bit. “Okay, I’ll let you know what I find.”
“Deal, but maybe get some sleep first,” she laughs, hollering an ‘I love you’ through the speaker and hanging up.
Holding my phone to my chest I think about what Indy said, I can look him up and return his card. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.
So why am I a bit bummed?