Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The moonlit night enveloped Evelyn as she threw herself onto her patio chair.
The patio was draped with cafe lights, and their cheery glow highlighted the mother-of-pearl buttons on her cardigan, making small ethereal puddles of light down her chest. She sat and watched the stars twinkle as she fumed.
The goddamn audacity.
Evelyn didn’t want to rule a planet. She wouldn’t be good at it.
Constantina would crush being in charge of Tanalia.
It had been expected of her from the moment she was born.
Adelaide would hate the responsibility, but she would rise to the challenge with the ferocity that she approached everything with.
But Evelyn hadn’t been groomed for it like her sisters had.
Growing up, Evelyn had been grateful not to have to follow along after her eldest sister like a shadow.
She would have liked a little more attention, but she was undeniably glad to have escaped the microscope her sisters were subjected to on a daily basis.
She got to hang out with kooky Aunt Corrie and keep her nose in a book.
She knew just enough protocol not to embarrass anyone at a state dinner, knew only the basics of their constitutional documents.
They’d never interested her. No vampires, who cared?
The vague details she remembered probably had no bearing on the reality of the day to day running as they stood now, anyway.
What the fuck is she thinking? I can’t do this.
She should have been used to seeing Corrie pull high-handed stunts; they’d been a hallmark of her childhood. Though now that she knew Corvinia’s real job, the surety with which the woman made her unilateral decisions made a hell of a lot more sense.
Evelyn had always admired that her father put so much stock in Corvinia’s opinions.
She liked that he listened to the women in his life and had elevated women into high cabinet positions.
Her father may have his faults, but he was never misogynistic.
He adored and respected his wife. He loved all three of his daughters and had never once longed for a son.
His rule was one that elevated the Tanalian traditions of art and culture to new heights.
She now wondered how many members of the artistic renaissance were involved in shadow operations.
The sliding door cracked open, and Aiden walked out onto the porch to sit on the lounge chair next to her.
“You holding up, dollface?”
“Just re-arranging decades of long held beliefs. Nothing major happening here.” She waved her hand.
“Oh, not at all.” He cracked a grin at her. “I’m going to drop the rest of the crew off at the ship. Can I head back here in a while?”
“You really are determined to crash every one of my pity parties, aren’t you?”
“It’s important to have goals.”
Evelyn laughed. It surprised her that she was capable of laughter with the way her stomach was churning. Aiden had a way of cutting through the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her. She was going to miss that. She was going to miss him.
“I’d like to see you later, sure. Come on by.”
“See you soon,” he said. He grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before heading back inside her house.
Evelyn debated turning around to watch him leave but decided against it.
When she finally said goodbye to Aiden, she didn’t want the image of him walking away from her in her own home to be in her memories.
She turned her focus instead back to the moonlight shining over the brick red mountain range.
The view of the ever-changing sky was one of her favorite things about her house here, the midnight velvet fading into the brilliance of baby blue, the ombre of orange and pink, all set against the rich red rock of the mountains.
The faint noise of car engines turning over drifted from the driveway. Moments later, the sliding door opened again. She knew Corvinia stood at the threshold. Evelyn heard her take a deep breath before coming outside.
“This place really is beautiful. I understand why you wanted to live here.”
Evelyn sighed and turned to look at Corvinia. Her eyes were wary, like she was weighing the odds of Evelyn throwing a punch. She proffered the abandoned milkshake, a boozy peace offering.
Evelyn decided she could be civil. She was a grown up, after all.
“Thank you for keeping the house in order. I can only imagine the amount of paperwork you must have had to do to keep it from being sold out from under me.” Evelyn reached for the drink and took a fortifying sip.
“It was nothing. It helps to have a spy network to shuffle around. This was a very popular vacation home for a lot of my folks.”
Evelyn’s shoulders tensed up, and Corvinia laughed.
“Don’t worry, I put your things in storage first. No one’s been rooting through your underwear or boning on your sofa.” She eased herself onto the matching patio lounger.
“You’re not allowed to say ‘boning.’”
The “being a grown up” strategy was thrown out the window. Evelyn put the drink down. There wasn’t enough alcohol in it to get her through the conversation with any ease, anyway.
“My darling girl, you have to know that all adults know what sex is.”
“Irrelevant.”
Their silly banter felt good. Normal. Life had changed for Evelyn forever multiple times in the last week, and learning about Corvinia’s real purpose in her father’s cabinet was but one more shift in her perspective.
The betrayal stung, but it was a balm to know that Corvinia was really still her Aunt Corrie under it all.
“Why did you never recruit me?” Evelyn’s voice was low as she asked the question. That’s what had really been plaguing her since she learned the truth. She averted her gaze and tried to make out the exact outline of the mountains in the distance
Corvinia let her breath out in a lip sputtering puff. “I promised your father I wouldn’t. He couldn’t bear to see you in more danger than you were already in by virtue of your birth. And you always hated your talent. Why torture you?”
Evelyn’s eyes were on the red rocks, but her memories were speeding back to adolescence.
Fourteen, awkward, not understanding why her devices could never keep a charge.
Wondering if she needed eye surgery, not understanding the pulsing waves that had started to emanate from everything, the corresponding vibes she had begun to feel around people.
The shock and shame of learning that her unique talent, her place in the universe, was one that was used as a bedtime story to terrify naughty Tanalian children into compliance.
Be good, or the Siphon King will get you.
Do your chores, or the Siphon King will come and suck away your life in the night.
Mind your manners, lest you become a decorative husk on his mantle.
Behave.
Long, serious lectures about how she could never, ever lose control.
Stars forbid she have the weight of accidentally ending a human life on her hands, their stolen energy running through her veins.
Best to bury the impulses, keep them under lock and key.
Learn to ignore that she saw the energy pulsating in all the things that surrounded her.
Tune it out, like a television left on in the next room. Don’t take, Evelyn. Never take.
“I hate it because it wasn’t something I could use to help people.
Public service is our purpose, remember?
I can still hear Papa saying that in my head clear as day.
But . . . you could have found a way to harness it if you tried.
” Evelyn felt the tear escape her eye. She swiped at her face and kept looking ahead.
“I could have,” Corvinia said. Evelyn saw her nodding in her peripheral vision. “But I took my promise to your father very seriously. I wanted to protect you, too. You’re my favorite niece.”
Evelyn smiled at that. “You’re not allowed to have favorites.”
“I think we both know I tend to do what I want.”
“That you do.”
Corvinia fiddled with her tie. Evelyn wasn’t accustomed to seeing her fiddle with anything.
“Are you out of spy practice or something? You’re exceptionally fiddly.”
“This level of honesty is weird for me. I’m very good in my mask. Taking it off is hard. But you deserve honesty, so I’m pushing through.”
“Fiddle away, then.”
Corvinia sighed and released her hair from the severe knot she’d tied it in. She piled hairpins on her thigh before giving her hair a vigorous shake. “You still could, you know. Learn how to use it.”
Evelyn stilled. Possibilities flooded her mind. Public service, indeed. “I’ll think about it.”
“Please do. And don’t get sucked into a self-flagellation cycle. There are myriad ways to use your talent.”
“I imagine you have a list of things you’d like to try.”
“Oh, I’ve been keeping it for years.” Corvinia dragged a hand through her hair.
“I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.
You did a really brave thing, sacrificing yourself to Emil.
Stupid. Poorly planned. But brave. If you’re willing to be brave again, I think we can make a big difference.
And if you’re over the whole shit show, I fully support you getting out of dodge.
Go back to studying and finish your thesis, go herd alpacas somewhere, whatever you want.
You’ve sacrificed plenty for your people, Evelyn. ”
“I napped for my people. It wasn’t that big of a deal.” Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest and threw her head back against the recliner.
And I made everything worse. Can’t forget that part.
“You put your physical safety and personal happiness aside to save a planet of people you’ve served your entire life. Don’t minimize.”
Evelyn gave a sad smile. “Perspective is a bit different from my side. I don’t feel like a hero.”
“Most heroes don’t.” Corvinia got up from her chair, shoving pins into her pocket. “I’m going to head back to my ship, give you some thinking time. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
She gave Evelyn a kiss on the forehead, and headed back through the slider. Another engine purred to life moments later. Evelyn took in the stars and settled back to think, snuggling more securely into her cardigan.