Nova
NOVA
N ova woke after what felt like hours, but a glance at the lack of light filtering in through the window told her it hadn’t been very long at all. It was still dark outside except for a shimmer of the moon, peaking through the slates of the blinds in muted lines.
She’d slept enveloped in Hook’s arms. For a man who didn’t cuddle, he was damn good at it. She felt cherished, protected, and loved.
Love? Whoa, down girl.
It wasn’t just sex, Hook had said as much, and it felt like more than that to her too, but love? No, most certainly not. was not going there. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t fall for another man hard and fast like she had for Brent.
Not to mention she was in no position for a relationship. Hell, she didn’t even have her own car. No way did she need to go from marriage to practically homeless to a relationship.
Besides, she needed to prioritize her daughter and herself.
“You’re thinking so loud, I can hear it. Care to share?” Hook’s sleep-roughened voice rumbled over her frayed nerves. Nerves he’d just spent the better part of the night soothing. He tightened and relaxed his arms in encouragement.
“I was just thinking about how I failed my daughter.”
Hook held her away from him far enough to stare into her eyes. He seemed fully awake and coherent as he hardened his gaze.
“You didn’t fail shit, mama. Rough patches happen, but that’s over. I’m here, and as long as I have anything to say about it, you’ll always have the wind at your back…both of you.”
wanted to weep at his sweet words.
“I appreciate that, Hook. I really do, but I did fail her. I kept us in a bad situation longer than I should have because I thought I loved him. I should’ve loved her more. Hell, I should’ve loved me more.”
As hard as she tried not to let the tears fall, she lost the battle. couldn’t even understand why she decided to share all that with him. Maybe because he’d shared so much, and it just felt right to reciprocate. If she were being honest, she needed to say it. Hook was beyond amazing to her, and she wasn’t worthy of him or his confidence. The least she could do was give a little back to him.
“Did you actually love him more than your daughter?” he asked with a tone that said he already knew the answer.
“No. Never,” she answered without hesitation. “I will never, and could never, love anyone more than her.”
“Exactly. Hell, I’m the exact opposite of an expert on families, but even I can see that. So, next argument.”
was taken aback by his seeming methodical approach to an emotional issue.
“I stayed there even with all his cheating, even though his emotional distance was hurting her. He acted like she was just this annoying thing that lived in his house that he was forced to interact with.”
Silence cut through the room like a knife. All could hear was her own exasperated breathing.
“What prompted you to finally leave?” His question was quiet and seemed to be threaded with genuine curiosity.
“I just said it was the way he was treating June.” Was he not paying attention? She may not know Hook that well, but one thing about him that was consistent since she’d met him was that he listened and observed and paid attention. Sometimes to even the smallest detail. It had annoyed her on more than one occasion.
“So, you stayed through the cheating and everything he did to you , but as soon as it manifested with his attitude toward June, you ended it.”
Ah, now she saw what he was getting at. Such a sweetheart, trying to absolve her.
“Yes, but as her mom, I should’ve seen it before then. There was no way it just started. People don’t just change like that overnight.”
Hook sighed as if he was dealing with a toddler who didn’t understand, and he was praying for patience. That irritated her to no end. She was about to tell him to fuck himself and get dressed when he spoke.
“If I remember right, you were working two jobs and had just taken on a third virtual job. Operating on four hours of sleep. Taking Flower to and from school and dance. So, when exactly were you supposed to notice all those things? You trusted your husband with his own daughter, as is normal.”
Some of the fight went out of her, and the tears increased. Some happy, some sad. He really had paid attention to all the things she’d said over the last weeks. Every little thing, right down to her new, but brief, virtual job editing.
“I don’t know. I just was. It’s what moms are supposed to do.”
Hook swiped away one of her tears and lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “Moms are only human, no matter how awesome they are. Tell me, how long after you noticed him treating her like that did you tell him to leave?”
“Immediately.” He gave her a faint, knowing smile at her answer.
“See. You’re a great mom. As soon as you realized his relationship with her was toxic, you put a stop to it.”
Ready to protest, inhaled. Hook’s finger drifted up from her chin to in front of her lips. “You put up with everything he did to you , but the minute you felt your daughter was suffering, you fixed it.”
She barked a cynical laugh. “Fixed it? By living in a house we were getting kicked out of with no lights and a car getting towed? Some fix that was.”
“You’re here now, both of you are. You’re safe, you have electricity, you have a car and a job, and your daughter is happy. Not a bad fix, . I believe that in no time, you’ll have it all worked out to your satisfaction.”
His words soothed her soul, but she didn’t miss the note of sadness in his voice. She didn’t point out that he’d fixed it, not her, but that was splitting hairs at that point. She was grateful for all those things.
Something she couldn’t explain came over her. It felt instinctive. Even though she didn’t need a relationship and would make that clear to Hook, she wanted him here, in the apartment. For her own selfish reasons, but also for her daughter.
“I think I’d be okay if you stayed here with us. It is your place, after all. June would really like it.”
Hook rolled on top of her and gripped her chin, demanding her undivided attention.
“But what about you? Would you like it?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t mean we’re?—”
Her words were cut off with a bruising kiss. He pulled his lips back, not breaking eye contact, and spit in his hand. She couldn’t look away from his eyes, even when he touched her clit and started working her body.
“I don’t need to hear what we’re not or what it doesn’t mean to you.”
His fingers disappeared, and his cock thrust all the way to the hilt. Still staring into her very soul, his green eyes flared when he bottomed out. Both of his tattooed arms snaked under her shoulders and gripped her throat. Overlapping his thumbs in the front, she felt them tighten as he pounded into her.
For the first time, he broke eye contact and seemed to watch his own hands. When he leaned down to whisper in her ear, she exploded into a million multicolored shards of light.
“I know what we are and what it means to me .”
He emptied into her once more before loosening his grip. Rotating them, he took up the big spoon position.
She was boneless and floating when sleep finally claimed her.
no longer needed an alarm to tell her it was time to rise and shine. She used to avoid mornings at all costs, but after having June, that internal clock kicked—“Fuck.”
shot up out of bed at the same time she slapped the bed next to her to tell Hook to hide or climb out of the window or make himself invisible. Anything other than letting her daughter catch him in her, um, his bed. They needed to figure it out if he was going to stay, but not in the morning when she had been well and truly fucked.
But she’d slapped just that—bed, not man.
Looking around, her clothes were picked up, and the room righted from its chaotic condition last night. The only clue was the fuck rumpled sheets.
Dipping into the bathroom to brush her teeth and a few other morning necessities, she slipped on a pair of bicycle shorts and a ratty Death Angel T-shirt.
Waking her daughter up was still one of her favorite activities. Even though she wasn’t little anymore and was more than capable of rousing herself, would treasure it for as long as June allowed it.
Something about the routine of it all soothed some of the mom guilt she felt. Even when things were bad, their routine remained the same.
“Rise and shine, Bug. It’s time to greet the day,” sang as she flung the door open. Her daughter was sitting up in the bed, reading silently. That had never happened. Maybe her daughter would wake before her by a few minutes and be sitting up rubbing her eyes, but never wide awake like that.
“How long have you been up, sweetheart?” was a little sad she didn’t get to tease her awake.
“Ever since Jeremy left on his motorcycle. It’s loud.”
Busted.
“Um.” What could say? Her daughter may be mature for her age, but she wasn’t that damn mature. June loved Jeremy, but surely she still missed her dad and wouldn’t really understand.
June closed her book, popped out of bed, and raced to the bathroom. While she handled her morning business, set about straightening her room.
“So, pancakes or French toast this morning?” asked over the sound of the sink as she made the bed.
A garbled two-syllable answer floated through the air. laughed to herself; she already knew the answer. It was Sunday. Sunday was always French toast with powdered sugar and strawberries.
opened the bedside drawer to deposit the book, and a small silicone-looking frog caught her eye. It wasn’t something of June’s—she should know, considering they had so little these days. She lifted it by the clip, and as she did, it twirled in the air.
She gasped.
It was one of those tracker tags with her name engraved on it.
’s brain tried to rationalize it. Maybe Hook had done it to keep June safe. She quickly dismissed that. Hook would’ve told her, she was positive.
With her back to the bathroom, she stared at the device in horror. She didn’t realize her daughter was done until she spoke.
jumped. Gathering her calm so her voice didn’t waiver.
“Where did you get this, honey?” It was all could do to keep the horror from her voice and not interrogate her daughter as if she were a criminal.
June looked down at her feet, and her bottom lip trembled. knew for sure then that she wouldn’t like the answer.
“From Daddy.”
It took every ounce of restraint, and then some, not to grab her by the shoulders and scream when, where, and why. One question at a time and calmly was the only way to handle her daughter.
“Your dad?”
June nodded but wouldn’t look up.
“Where did you see your dad, Bug?”
“Mrs. Griffith let me run over to our house the other day to get my favorite book. Dad was inside looking for something.”
lost the battle to keep the horror from her voice.
“She didn’t say anything to me. You’re not going back over there—” was getting worked up, and her voice rose with every word.
“It’s not her fault, Mommy, she didn’t know. She was watching from the porch like always, and Daddy made me promise not to say anything, so I didn’t.”
She didn’t miss the tremor in her child’s voice or the wetness gathering on her lashes.
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re right, it’s not her fault or yours. Come.” sat on the bed and opened her arms to June. She ran into them without hesitation. was kicking herself a little for teaching June to always keep her word.
“You know what, Bug? Sometimes keeping a secret can be worse than breaking your word.” What else could she say? She didn’t want to cause more fear by saying some secrets were bad or dangerous.
“But, you always said?—”
“I know what I’ve always said, Bug, but sometimes moms are wrong. Why don’t you tell me everything, and we can decide if it is a secret to keep or a secret to tell?” Yeah, it was a little underhanded trickery, but the warning bells were clanging in her head so loudly she couldn’t even hear herself think.
“Do you know what this is?”
June nodded.
“Do you know why Daddy gave it to you?”
She nodded again.
“Will you tell me about it?”
June worried her bottom lip for so long, thought she’d have to play mean mom to get the story. If her own child hated her, so be it. She’d be safe and away from a man she had an increasingly bad feeling about.
“It’s a tracker so he can find me when it’s time.” Her voice was a whisper. could see the stress it was putting on the child.
“When it’s time for what?” All the happiness and comfort of the night before curdled in her soul.
“I can’t say or…” June abruptly stopped talking. The look on her face was that of someone who’d said too much already.
“Bug, I need you to tell me.” She tried for a mix of firm but caring, which was at odds with how she felt inside.
“But if I tell, he’ll not only take me away, he’ll hurt you.” June slapped both hands to her mouth in an attempt to shove the words back in.
It took superhuman strength, and some things she didn’t know where she drew from, to not frantically start packing and run with her daughter just so she could feel safe, as far as humanly possible. Instead, she used the power of June’s love and trust in Jeremy.
“You can tell me.” She spoke with a sense of calm she didn’t feel. “Remember, Hook promised to protect us, both of us, and your Jeremy wouldn’t lie, would he?”
She shook her head.
“Good, then tell me so I can tell him, and everything will be just fine.” How she feigned nonchalance was a mystery to her. But thanks to whatever deity was on call that day for giving her the strength.
“Daddy said he’ll come when I’m worth the most money, and that if I was good and kept that with me.” She looked at the frog in ’s hand, then dropped her gaze again. “And I didn’t tell anyone, you’d be safe.”
Her heart shattered into a million pieces right there on the twin bedspread. Her daughter was shouldering so much and was ready to meet an unknown fate all to protect her mother.
It didn’t take a lot of imagination to figure out what Brent intended for her child. The man had zero interest in her before. With all the things Hook had shared with her last night, making money took on a possible meaning she couldn’t even stomach.
After ended their marriage, somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind she’d was finally able to admit that she’d believed Brent was evil. She didn’t know what kind or the extent of it, but what she was thinking now was never on her radar. Had she thought he’d planned something so vile, well, she would’ve killed him on the spot instead.
One night, had come home, exhausted after working twenty hours straight, and heard him speaking to June dispassionately as if she were an unwanted pest rather than his daughter.
It was that overheard conversation by her tired brain that had her ending their marriage. That’s when the whole of their marriage and his relationship with his daughter came flooding in, and she said the word divorce. At the time, she wondered if it was just a knee-jerk response because she was overtired and emotional.
In the last months of their marriage, he’d been drunk more often than not. How glad she was now that he’d agreed and left before she had time to sleep on it and rethink things.
would never get over the guilt of not seeing it sooner. Well, now she had a fuck ton more to atone for.
She was mortified. But she knew what she had to do. She’d take Hook and the RBMC up on their offer to find her ex. As soon as they located Brent, she’d make sure he would never threaten June again.
composed herself and plastered on a smile.
“Don’t worry, Bug. Your daddy isn’t going to hurt anyone, and you never have to live with him or anyone else you don’t want to.”
vowed she wouldn’t fail her daughter again. She couldn’t live with herself if she did.
She stood, slipping the tracker into the inside pocket of the bike shorts. She took her daughter’s hand in hers. “Let’s go make that French toast. Then we’ll meet Jeremy at the clubhouse for a surprise.”
The word surprise distracted June, as expected. wanted to skip breakfast and run to Hook immediately. Instead, she’d settle for a few hours early.
Even though June’s birthday wasn’t for three days, they’d planned her birthday party for later today. She was going to be so surprised, and refused to let Brent rob her daughter of the joy of her first surprise birthday party. was going to absorb every minute of it just in case she didn’t get to see her daughter for ten to twenty years.
While cooking, her mind ran through all the things she needed to prepare for in the worst-case scenario after they found Brent.
There would be paperwork, custody arrangements, beneficiaries to change. She’d also do what she could to foster June and Jeremy’s relationship. Her daughter needed him to protect and love her.
Now and after.