Nova
NOVA
T he last time she’d been able to make contact with Brent was when he brought her the papers to sign. Once he left, she never saw or heard from him again.
She hadn’t been able to reach him when she realized she was the guarantor of all the bills. Nor when utilities were being disconnected, and certainly not when the payday loan place was asking for their payment or the car.
“, I didn’t do it on purpose. I just didn’t think.”
She could see the truth of it in his eyes. What would she have done with his number if she’d had it, anyway? Probably called and given him a piece of her mind when she learned about the tracker. The exact wrong thing to do. It would’ve broken her daughter’s trust, but her nerves were frayed, and she was emotional. She needed to release it somehow.
Hook had the ability to contact Brent, and she didn’t. Something about that stung. It felt as if by accepting their help, Hook and the RBMC were running her life. Somehow, she’d lost all control over her and June’s future, and she just snapped.
“You had no fucking right to keep my ex-husband’s number from me.”
“I—”
Hook was cut off by Virus blurting out, “If it helps any, he’s not your ex-husband.”
snapped her head in Virus’s direction. “What?” she breathed out in disbelief.
“I know I shouldn’t have trusted that fuck-stick to file the papers. I should’ve done it myself. How stupid can I be?” She was rambling now. A downward spiral that she might not pull up from for a while. “Oh my god, that means.” She looked at Hook in horror.
That lying sack of shit had made her an adulterer. Not that Brent deserved any loyalty from her, but she deserved it from herself. “He made me just like him.”
She plopped down in the vacant chair as soon as Croon stood. He’d grabbed a bottle of water from somewhere and set it down in front of her. She chugged it.
“Babe, you’re nothing like him,” Hook said from a squatting position at her knees.
“Yes, I am. I broke my vows by sleeping with you. Not that they were all that sacred to begin with, but still.” It just felt wrong.
“Actually, you didn’t.” Virus spoke again.
She looked up in time to see Hook glare at Virus before turning back to her.
“But he just said…”
“You were never married.” Hook spoke with a mix of what sounded like triumph and sorrow.
“What?”
“I just found out not five minutes before you walked in and was going to tell you as soon as I saw you, so don’t get pissed. But Brent has never been married or divorced.”
It just kept getting worse or better. couldn’t decide.
Definitely worse. She would’ve never put up with his shit if she knew, would she have? But also good, because other than June, there was nothing tying her to Brent. They could run and get as far away as possible.
stood and addressed Zombie. He was the president after all, he held all the power, right? “Is there anything else I should know about my ex, not my ex?”
“Nothing impactful, no.”
“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, you gentlemen can get back to your meeting. I’m just going to get June and go live off the grid in Alaska somewhere.” She was way too calm. She knew what that meant. She was about to freak the fuck out on a volcanic level.
stalked toward the door with a poise and grace she most certainly did not feel when she heard Hook’s voice. “Prez?” It sounded pleading in a way she hadn’t heard from him before.
She’d just opened the door when Zombie said, “Go on.”
Her eyes immediately sought for her daughter, who wasn’t on the couch where she left her. Heidi or Devin must’ve taken her to the kitchen. She’d just stepped out of their meeting and heard the door close when Hook wrapped her up from behind. That’s when the dam broke.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do, Hook? My life isn’t my own anymore. It’s beyond my control, my choices. My daughter is in danger from her father. He’s fucking tracking her. TRACKING HER.” She wasn’t even breathing between her run-on sentences. Her panic was rising to levels that made her chest hurt. “He wants to use her to make money in ways I can’t even bear to imagine.” was sobbing, on the brink of a full-blown panic attack.
“What am I?—”
Before she could finish, one of Hook’s hands slid up and gripped the front of her throat none too gently. His breath against her ear and his hand on her skin gave her things to focus on other than her shitshow of a life.
“Control your breathing, babe. In.” He lessened the pressure on her throat. “And out.” He tightened it again in sync with her breathing.
After a few minutes of repeating it, her breathing was more measured and controlled than before, her panic more manageable.
“Good girl,” he growled, and she whimpered. How she could even entertain the idea of sex right now was beyond her, but entertaining it she was.
“Hmm, we just got you calmed down, , but I can feel your pulse racing under my fingertips, and your breath is speeding up again, but it doesn’t feel the same as before.” He purred the words against her ear before he nipped the lobe.
God, she wanted him, and she needed to be distracted. If she didn’t get out of her spiral, she would lose her shit and take her daughter and run so far and so fast no one would ever find them. That was not the life she wanted for her child.
Sliding her hand up, she placed it on top of his as she turned in his arms. Leaning in, she kissed him gently. needed him, yes, but she also needed to feel cherished and taken care of. “Take me to your room and make love to me, please?”
His green eyes flashed with something she wasn’t ready to name. Or maybe she was just too emotional, and she saw the same in him. He walked her backward, not taking his eyes from hers. With her back against the door, he spoke.
“Tell me what you need, babe. Hard and rough, or soft and tender? I think I know, but I want confirmation.”
“Soft, but don’t stop touching me here.” She squeezed the hand under hers at her throat to convey the message.
“That’s what I thought, babe.” He kissed her sweetly as he opened the door behind her and walked her into his room. Hook raised her shirt with his free hand, working it over one shoulder. He slid his hand under the fabric to take the place of his other hand, then finished removing it. He switched hands again when his shirt hung from his wrist.
Having her throat held wasn’t something she’d ever thought of as sexual. It wasn’t until Hook had first done so in the kitchen that she realized that aspect of it was enjoyable and exciting. Sexually, it kept her in the moment.
But when he’d done so when she was freaking out, she realized that emotionally, it grounded her and gave her a focal point. It allowed her to let go. With that realization came another…Hook had known that before she had. Was that why she felt so drawn to him? Because he was in tune with her needs like no man had ever been before?
He squeezed her throat, but not so hard she couldn’t breathe.
“Get out of your head and stay with me.” Hook kissed her again and backed them up to the bed. She helped scoot them up the bed. He rested the perfect amount of his weight on her.
Somehow, they were both naked. She must’ve been more lost in thought than she realized. “You’re so fucking beautiful, . From your bow-shaped lips.” He placed a kiss on said lips. “To your perfect tits.” He took one into the hot cavern of his mouth while massaging the other. “And this,” he said against her breast as he slid a finger into her pussy. “This is the best place I’ve ever been.” He added a second finger, gathering her wetness and slid it up to her clit, circling so slowly she whimpered and raised her hips to increase the friction.
His motion stopped with one finger resting against her clit, and a look of concentration crossed his face. “Damn, woman, I swear I can almost feel your heartbeat in this moment with both my hands.”
She wouldn’t doubt it, she could feel her blood thumping in both places, so maybe he could too. She’d never tested to see if she had a pulse in her clit, and in that moment, she didn’t fucking care. “Let me come, please.”
“Um, I do like the begging, but that’s for another time. Right now, I plan to worship and cherish you like you deserve. Like you need.”
She cursed herself for asking for slow and tender until he started his circles again. A lazy concentric motion that was bringing her up ever so slowly. He sucked her breast into his mouth again. Flicking the nipple with the tip of his tongue.
The combination soon became too much to resist, and she came. Hard and long.
“You know something?” he asked as he took his cock in hand. He stroked it up and down, dragging it through her release. He thrust against her clit, and she moaned.
“I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even more beautiful when you come.”
He notched the head of his cock just inside her and advanced forward in a slow, measured pace until he bottomed out. Time stood still. He cupped her cheek with his free hand before brushing the hair from her face.
“Don’t close your eyes. I want to see everything.” didn’t need the grounding hand at her throat anymore, his eyes were her anchor now. Tapping the back of his hand, he removed it. She took both his hands and laced their fingers together.
Hook withdrew and entered her again. Long-metered thrusts while they stared into each other’s very souls. It was more vulnerable than anything she’d ever done.
She allowed all her pain to spill out through every pore of her body while she watched him reach out to greet it. It was more than a joining of bodies; it was a merging of spirits, of pain.
It seemed like both forever and no time at all before they were coming in unison, never looking away. Yet they still didn’t separate. It was a transcendent experience, and she blurted out words she swore she’d never say to another man. Words that were way too soon to be spoken, but she couldn’t have bitten them back if she’d tried.
“I love you, Jeremy.”
His entire posture changed as he hovered above her, barely breathing. His expression was impossible to read, and now panic was rearing its ugly head again.
“Oh my god. I’m sorry, I know it’s too soon. I was caught in the moment, and I didn’t?—”
“No.” He gripped her throat again. “Don’t take it back,” he bit out, then kissed the living shit out of her.
Hook’s soft expression was at odds with the almost angry tone of his voice. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Maybe he was just kissing her to buy time or shut her up.
Either way, she would live with the fallout and wouldn’t make it weird for him, since she was the idiot who declared love after the passionate sex she’d asked him for in the first place.
It had to be that her emotions were running high, and he was so perfect at giving her what she needed. He was complimentary and attentive. Hook had given her exactly what she’d asked for, and she made it a bigger deal than it was.
Hell, she probably didn’t love him either; she was just vulnerable to her feelings. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that for the lie it was, but she needed the velvety comfort of the lie for now, so she ignored the voice in her head that whispered the truth.
When he pulled the kiss back, he looked like he did any other day. No clue to what he was feeling.
“We should probably get dressed and head back in there. It’s time for Flower’s not-so-surprise party.” Hook didn’t move right away, just stared into her eyes while caressing her collarbone. For a split second, a look of deep affection crossed his green depths, and she thought maybe he’d say it back, but he didn’t. Instead, he winked, nipped her nose, and rolled off of her.
As they got dressed in silence, she kept telling herself it didn’t matter, but deep down, it did. Until then, she didn’t realize how deep she’d gotten or how much she missed being loved.
Those feelings didn’t change her plans. If anything, the events of the day and Hook’s response cemented them.
She would keep Brent away from her daughter the only guaranteed way, kill him.
Hook may not be in love with her, but she had zero doubts that he was smitten with June. Hell, the whole club was. She could think of no better family for her than Hook and the Bastards. Her daughter probably wouldn’t be allowed to date until she was in menopause, but could live with that.
Now that the club had a way to contact Brent, she just had to get that number and give him a call. Arrogant bastard that he was, he always thought he was smarter than everyone else. He’d come running, thinking she’d fuck him again; she didn’t doubt that.
The thought caused her to shiver. After being with Hook, she couldn’t imagine being with another man. He had truly ruined her for others.
“You ready, babe? I bet Flower is vibrating with excitement after seeing all the decorations.”
“Decorations? Is that what you call hijacking a semi-truck full of party supplies?”
He placed a hand at the small of her back and opened the door. “Besides, she probably couldn’t see the decorations for all the gigantic, wrapped boxes with bows on them. You guys really went all out.”
“Oh, please. She deserves that and more.”
They made their way out to the party, which had started without them, if the sounds of Taylor Swift were any indication.
“But for the record,” he whispered in her ear. “This is us toned down. Wait until you see our balls-to-the-wall mode.”
stood there, leaning against Hook, and watched her daughter. In moments like this, all seemed right with the world. Her daughter was dancing, surrounded by big-ass bikers. Watching Squatch, Croon, and Santa shaking it off was comical. A sight she thought couldn’t get any funnier until Hook squealed like a schoolgirl. “Oooh, this one’s my favorite.”
He ran into the fray and scooped June into his arms and danced with her like she was his own blood. Everyone on the sidelines cheered and hollered, Devin the loudest.
Except Heidi. She was busy taunting the three men shaking it off to the beat with her phone in their faces. “You thought your video of Zom and me covered in Doritos went viral, wait until everyone gets a load of you three Swifties.”
could watch her daughter’s happiness all day, but she had a mission if she wanted her to stay that way. Weaving around the makeshift dance floor, she made a beeline to Virus first.
“Not a Swifty?” she asked.
“Actually, I am.” He shook his arm at her. Hidden among the leather bands and steel cuffs was a small beaded bracelet proclaiming him a Swifty 4 Life. “Just got some work to do is all.” Something about his tone spoke volumes. A note of sadness mixed with regret tinged his words.
“Um, hold up. You can’t just casually show me that like it was nothing.” She snatched his arm back, or rather, he allowed her to snatch it. “Who made this for you?”
“A ray of pure sunshine.”
“Really? I’m gonna need more than that.” She crossed her arms.
“You know, you’re starting to act like him. I guess that’s what happens when people pair up. It’s like owners who start to look like their dogs. Or is it the other way around?” His smirk was one she’d learned by spending a little time with the guys over the past several weeks.
Deflection.
There was a story there.
When she didn’t respond, he sighed and patted the couch next to him. She sat.
“That’s what I called her, SunRae. So, see, I wasn’t as evasive as your inquiring mind thought. You were just listening on a different frequency.”
“What happened?” she found herself asking before she thought better of it.
Virus looked her in her eyes with so much regret, it hurt her heart to see it.
“Me. I happened.” With that, he turned back to his computer.
sat silently, not wanting to pry. She knew the pain when someone scratched at an emotional scab and caused it to bleed.
“Now, what is it you want? I know you didn’t come just for my sparkling personality and witty conversation.”
“What makes you think I want something?”
Virus pulled a pen from his inside pocket and wrote something down on the back of a business card before closing his laptop and leaning back on the couch.
“Because you made a beeline over here when your daughter and your man are out there. That means something is weighing heavily on you to pass them up.”
“Busted. I need—” Virus slipped the card into her hand; she looked down at the ten digits in blue ink.
“How’d you know?”
“Because I saw the look on your face when you realized we had it and Hook didn’t tell you. I agree, you have a right to know.”
“Isn’t that against your bro code or something?”
His smile was a little wicked.
“Not at all. I deal in absolutes. Your ol’ man admitted he just didn’t think of it. He never said no or that he didn’t want you to have it. Ergo, it was a simple oversight which I have now corrected.”
He stood. “If you’ll excuse me, there’s a birthday girl who owes me a dance.” He took two steps before turning back. “Just promise you won’t use it. Anything comes up, let your ol’ man handle it. Brent is not a good man.”
didn’t correct the ol’ man comment, nor did she want to out-and-out lie to him. She chose another route: avoidance.
“I know he’s not.”
Virus gave her a hard look before stepping into the dancing people.
One down, one to go.
Outlaw disappeared into the kitchen, and she followed.
“Oh, hey, ,” he said when he turned from grabbing a water.
“Hey, Outlaw, can I get some legal advice?”
“Sure.” He motioned for her to sit. “Is this hypothetical or…”
“Can we go with whatever one makes it so you can’t tell anyone what I say?”
“Got any money on you?”
“Just my lucky silver dollar.” She pulled it from her pocket.
“I’ll hold on to it until you can trade it out for a paper one.” He wiggled his fingers at her, and she placed it in his hand.
“Okay, anything you say is between us.”
Here goes nothing. “I want to sign everything I have, which admittedly isn’t much, over to Jeremy.”
Outlaw raised an eyebrow. “Does he want it? Like you said, it’s not much.”
“Probably not, but I also want him to have legal guardianship over June in case anything happens to me. I have a life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary. He could take what he’s owed for her upkeep when she turns eighteen.”
“. First, I think you need to talk to Hook, not me. Second, I couldn’t do that without his consent anyway. You can’t just leave someone a child without their knowledge.” She could tell there was a third coming, but she spoke up first.
“Okay, what about this? I read online that intent matters. What if I make my intent known? I write it down, I’ve told you, I’ll say it to everyone who’ll listen. If something happens, would you go to court and argue my intent?” She didn’t know how valid any of that was—it came from the internet after all. If she managed to kill Brent, there’d be no one left to try to take June, so the problem was solved. It would give her peace of mind to know the RBMC would fight Brent for June if, somehow, she were the one to end up dead.
Under his breath, Outlaw muttered about people with their Google law degrees before speaking to her. “Is it about what happened today because I promise you, we have it handled.”
“It’s not that. It’s just…” She stood to pace. “I could choke on a biscuit or die in a car wreck or trip in the shower. If that happens, I do not want that man anywhere near my daughter.”
“If, and that’s a big if, you choke on a biscuit, I will fight tooth and nail for June, and so will every brother here, you have my word.”
She let go of the breath she’d been holding to stave off another panic attack.
“Now, let’s get out there and celebrate your little girl.”
It wasn’t the answer she wanted, but it was enough.