Chapter Thirty-Eight
Parker.
Hand under my head while I stare at the ceiling fan, the door to my bedroom opens softly then clicks again once it's shut.
My little night prowler still has the sleuthing abilities of a bull in a China shop.
With a shake of my head, I keep my mouth closed, and simply watch Sabrina slowly come closer through the moonlight or streetlight spilling into my room through the partially opened blinds.
Hair up in one of her messy buns, she drops her robe and I withhold the groan she inspires.
She's wearing tiny little silk pink shorts with little moons and stars all over them, and a matching, flimsy fucking little spaghetti strap top stretched tight over her full tits that has my cock hardening already and all I've done is look at her.
Not in the mood to talk for at least another night, I shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep.
She pulls up my blanket and slips into bed with me. Christ she smells amazing.
I’m a weak man when it comes to her and sometimes, I hate myself for it.
Her warm, manicured fingers crawl up my torso until she gets to the middle of my chest and there, she traces little hearts over my sternum, where my scar has healed.
I can feel her staring at me and I know if I open my eyes I'll look into eyes so green they'd make peridots jealous.
So I don't. I can't. Stupid thing is it ain't ‘cause I'm mad at her.
I'm not. I've already forgiven her. I just don't think I could look into her gorgeous face and not take her mouth with mine then fuck her to high heaven. She’s got too much shit going on in her head for me to pile more on her.
I place my hand over hers and she snuggles into me. No part of me rejects her. It’s impossible. The hand under my head goes over her and settles on the dip of her waist, briefly squeezing.
“You tattled on me.”
“Yup. And I’ll do it again if it means he quits being a fuckin’ asshole.
” I reply without a second thought. I tap on her hip twice, remove my arm from around her and turn over, grabbing my pillow and puffing it up to how I like it, tucking it between my shoulder and my head. “Alright I'm going to bed.”
“Parker--”
“No, Sabrina.” Because words or sex can’t fix this.
As much as I love her, as much as I am dying to reclaim her body and her soul, this is between me and Maks.
She needs to fix shit upstairs and until she does, until they do…
I’ll… fuck, be on the sidelines, I guess.
Back to being a fucking sconce on the goddamn wall. Christ, how did we get here?
“Parker, I’m—"
“Go to sleep, Bri.”
She doesn’t move.
“Upstairs.”
“No,” she replies solemnly.
“Sabrina—"
“No. And you can’t make me.” I can hear the pout in her voice before I feel her press her forehead between my shoulder blades, curl around me and throw her arm over my torso, spooning me.
Huh. This is different. Then there’s a muffled, “It took me a long time to get you to stop pretending to be a part of the furniture or a light fixture in the room, Savage. For you to hold yourself back or hide from me is unacceptable. I won’t have you going back to that…
I was broken and a shell of myself. A part of me will possibly never heal fully, I know that.
You’re my glue. The strong, ultra sticky, if-you-get-it-on-your-hands-you-panic-a-bit kind.
“You’ve held me together even when I thought I lost all my pieces.
No matter what happens between Maksim and I—" she shifts her face so she’s not talking into my back anymore but out into the open space of the room.
She crawls up my body and holds me even closer, tucking me into her like I’m a pillow.
“I love you more than life itself. Whatever is happening to Maksim, he needs the same patience you had with me. I’m willing to be that for him…
and for you. Anyway, I know I've rambled a bit. I love you, Parker Savage Hayes, nothing could ever change that. All of you, Parker. Every time. Won’t you… won’t you tell me it’s forever?”
Agh. Fuck me. I put my hand on her thigh and turn over, flipping us so she’s straddling me so quickly she lets out a small squeal, then place my fingertips under the hem of those tiny little shorts I know must be riding up her ass.
I can imagine her ass hanging out of them and I swallow a groan at the imagery.
I hate that I have no control when it comes to her when I start growing hard beneath her.
“You have to teach me how you did that,” she rushes out.
“Easy, you were unsuspecting.” I reply casually. “Now, listen here. I am allowed to feel the way I feel, and I’m allowed to seek space when Maks is being a motherfucker. I’m also allowed to get annoyed with you when you allow him to treat you the way he did.”
“Parker—"
“I’m not done.” I grip the tops of her thick thighs because I’m a weak man and she’s so goddamn soft.
Softer than the silk of her shorts. The top hem of her little fucking shirt is barely covering her nipples and there are so many things on this woman I want to touch and play with, I feel like I’m going feral just looking at her.
“You are such a goddamn pain in my ass. All those years of teasing me, watching you fuck other men while you stared right at me. So many times, you came while some motherfucker’s head was between your thighs, while strobe lights flashed, and music thumped around us, eyes never off mine like an act of defiance, just for me to pull the lucky asshole off you.
Then have you tell me you wanted to have my babies while I carried you home ‘cause you were drunk off your ass.
“So many times you told me you loved me just to forget about it the next day.
That was another entirely different kind of pain like a thorn in my side.
Then this fucked up thing happened to you and you changed from day to night and I saw more of the faceted, lovely, fabricated Sabrina.
I always watched you study hard and party harder.
But the new Sabrina that emerged after That Night; focused and sad, and quiet, secretive…
I hated all those things, baby. Yes, I appreciated your new quiet nature, but it was the sadness in your eyes.
The self-hatred that spilled from you. The coldness in your stillness.
It gutted me because I didn't know what happened and I didn't know what to do other than learn you all over again.
“Somehow, slowly but surely I fell for every part of you inside and out.
They saw an ice queen, I saw a woman doing her best to hold herself together.
They saw a robot, I saw a woman acting on autopilot because she was drowning in her own unrelenting turmoil.
They saw the show she put on, I saw a woman acting the part.
They saw a brilliant smile, I saw you silently screaming for help on the inside…
“And I have loved you through all of it.” I grind out, feeling the muscles in my jaw flex.
“‘Cause while you were screaming for help, my soul heard you.
My soul saw you, baby. There is no getting rid of me, I know every cell in your body.
I adore every atom and particle that makes up Sabrina Melanie Giordano—"
“—Giordano-Hayes.”
See? How can I stay mad when she says shit like that that makes my heart lurch forward?
“The point is,” I sigh— “is that I love you. But I’ve watched you grow into yourself, find yourself over and over and I will keep doing that…
as long as you don’t revert to where we started, Bri-baby.
You gave that man way too much shit in the beginning to allow him to disrespect you now.
Or treat you like you’re nothing when you are…
everything, Sabrina. To me, everything is you.
My world began with you, and my world will end with you, baby.
” I finally drag my eyes away from hers.
“So yeah, I told him. Secondly, I promised that if he ever treats you like you’re just some dog on the street, I’ll fucking kill him. ”
“You threatened him?”
“No, Sabrina. I promised him.” I slide her off me and turn back over away from her, rearrange my erection and close my eyes.
She curls around me once again and throws an arm over my torso, kisses between my shoulder blades and places her forehead over it. “Did you know you regenerate new cells every day?”
“Yes,” I grumble out. “What’s your point?”
“That you have to love me every day to get to know the new ones.”
“That ain’t a problem, pretty girl.”
I can hear the smile in her voice when she says, “I think I quite enjoy your threats.”
“No. That’s also a promise.”
She shoves her hand in mine and yawns. “Good. I can’t wait to get to know you again tomorrow.”
I’m pulled out of practice death and to the cold space of darkness with streetlamp light spilling in through the blinds and the blankets at my feet.
The only warm thing is the barbells on my dick being warmed by Sabrina’s mouth.
Her tongue flicks little caressing licks up my cock, showing each barbell attention, her thumb running over them as she goes up.
Then she takes me to the back of her throat.
My hand is already on her head; fingers tangled in her loose waves. “Fuck, Sabrina… what are you doing?”
She pulls off to answer me, sucking on the tip before letting me go with a ‘pop’ and I groan. “It’s tomorrow, Savage. I’m getting to know you again.”
I look down to see those twin verdant flames staring up at me as her cheeks hollow out and fill up again.
“Is this what you meant by that?” she hums non-committal, the vibration making my thighs jerk up and my other hand goes to her head, not putting any pressure on it just yet, letting her control all of this.
“You’re an evil little thing, aren’t you? ”