CHAPTER 30 Tatum Barker
History and Future
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I whisper to Archer.
His head is on my chest as he leans into me, and I cradle him against me as he attempts to shutter his emotions the way he always does.
Just like usual, though, he can’t hide them from me.
We may not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean I stop knowing who he is.
You can’t just erase a decade of friendship with a breakup. The muscle memory remains.
I rub his back gently, and my heart stutters in my chest.
I always had a soft spot for Archer Bradley.
“I know this is tough, and I’m sure that’s where it’s coming from,” I say gently.
He pulls back a little, his head tilted as those clear, hazel-green eyes land on mine. “The only thing that’s tough is that you’re not here with me. That I have to go through…all of this alone.” His voice is low. Raspy. Sexy.
He doesn’t mean losing his mother. He means dealing with his family.
I close my eyes against the heat pinching behind them.
“You told me it was okay to move on,” I say softly.
“Saying it and meaning it are two different things entirely.”
“I can’t read your mind, Arch. You know that’s something I’ve never been able to do.”
“That’s not true,” he protests, hitting me with a little lift of his lips. It was an argument we had often, one that usually ended with us both naked since the truth is that in some ways I sort of could read his mind. After a while, anyway. I learned to.
I blow out a breath, and he settles his head on my chest again. It’s familiar, that’s all. It’s comforting, and I’ll be here to comfort him. But I also need to make space for Ford.
“Is this real with you and him?” he whispers.
“I think so,” I admit.
“If I would’ve asked first…” He trails off.
“I would’ve said yes.” But that’s the problem. He never did ask, and knowing what I know now, it would’ve been wrong anyway.
He lets out a strangled sound. “The dolphins were a nice touch.”
“You saw the video?”
“Why do you think I didn’t answer his call?” he asks. “Of course I did. I couldn’t fucking escape it, and all I could think about was how that should’ve been me standing there with you. It’s all wrong.”
“Why’d you end it with me, then? Why’d you let me move on?” I ask. “Why’d you give me permission to be with your brother?”
“The feds were coming, Tate. I couldn’t let you get mixed up with that.
I couldn’t let it tank your business, your livelihood, everything.
I thought I was the smart one separating from my family all those years ago.
But it turns out that one mistake meant that I wasn’t, and so you weren’t, either.
I thought it would just be like all the other times, and we’d find our way back. ”
“Do you still think that?” I whisper as I brush away a tear that splashes onto my cheek.
“Until you’ve signed a marriage certificate, I think I’ll always hold onto that hope.”
“It wasn’t just that, Arch,” I say quietly. “There were other things wrong with our relationship. With us. We weren’t perfect.”
“You’re right. I was trying to keep you away from my family. I didn’t know what else my father was doing that we didn’t want to get tied up in, so I thought it was simpler this way. If saying no to letting you work with Madden was our downfall, I still stand by what I did.”
“He’s here now,” I point out.
“Then go talk to him. What are you doing here with me?”
“It’s you. You and me, Arch. Just like it always was.”
“Except it’s not. There is no you and me anymore.
” He takes my hand, and he threads his fingers through mine.
He turns our hand so he can study the ring Ford slipped onto my finger.
“Compass cushion center stone with a platinum band. Your dream.” He sniffs, and then he mutters a curse.
He stands, and he walks out of the room.
I don’t know where he goes, and I don’t chase him down. I’ve been sitting here crying by myself for a few minutes when Ford walks into the room. He closes the door, and he sits on the bed beside me. He takes my hand in his. “Are you okay?” he asks.
His mom just died, and he’s here with all this family drama, yet he’s asking me if I am okay.
I swipe at the tears, and he gets up to grab the box of tissues, which he hands to me. I wipe my nose, and I nod. “I’m okay. You?”
He lifts a shoulder. “I saw you in here with Archer, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I went downstairs until he came down.”
“Was that hard?” I ask, my voice guarded.
“You have no idea.”
I press my lips together.
“It’s been hard my entire life, Tatum. It’s always been you for me, but I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn’t me for you.
Except…now it is. It’s happening, and my heart wants to believe it’s real, but my brain keeps telling me that if you had the chance, you’d go back to him.
” He’s quiet as he waits for my response to that, and again, I’m at a loss for words.
“Say something,” he says softly. “Are you going back to him?”
I clutch his hand in mine. “I told you once that he and I had our problems. It wasn’t perfect, but now he wants me back. He wants to try again. I think maybe it’s losing your mom…realizing life is short and unpredictable. I don’t know.”
“Or it’s just you, Tate. Your stunning beauty, your kind heart, your perfect chaos. There’s something about you that we both fell in love with.”
My chest hurts. I thought I already made this decision, but it feels like he’s asking me to make it again.
“And I love you both, too.” In very different ways.
I love Archer as the man I was with for the last eight years—give or take, on and off—and as the man I had a crush on for four years before we ever even got together. He makes up nearly half of my life’s history.
But Ford is my best friend. He’s been there to pick me up when I fall more times than I can count. He’s my business partner, too. He’s home. And I think he’s my future.
I knew it would be tough coming here, that seeing Archer would dredge up old feelings. But what I didn’t expect was to see him and be so sure that what I’m building with Ford is actually what I want out of life.
I thought it would be different.
I lean my forehead to Ford’s, and then I say the words softly. “But you’re the one I want a future with.”
I hear a soft exhale, and then I feel his lips as they collide with mine.
We both hear the doorbell, and he pulls back.
It’s brief. Too brief. I want to lean into him, to feel him.
For ten days to pass in a flash so we can get married and ride into the sunset toward a future together—a future I never expected and never knew I wanted until I experienced the last month and a half with a man who wants to give me everything.
“Come on,” he says, and he grabs my hand to lead me downstairs to greet whoever’s at the door.
I take a deep breath in the front hall as he opens the door, and for just a split second that belongs only to me, I take it all in. This entry, this mansion, this family. The legacy here in the walls, the memories that even I have here that I don’t want to let go.
It’s not my mansion to make those decisions with, but it seems like Ford is the only one of the Bradley siblings who actually wants to sell it.
Everleigh’s best friend, Penny, is at the door with bags of takeout.
Ford grabs the bags from her hands, and we all head into the kitchen only to find the rest of the Vegas residents of the Bradley family standing around the large counter.
It’s more hugs hello, this time with Dex, his wife Ainsley, and his son Jack, along with Everleigh and Maverick.
We unpack the food—salads, a few different types of pasta, and garlic bread—as Everleigh gathers plates and silverware. It’s chaos as the eleven of us in here (discounting the baby who just turned one) reach for food to fill our plates.
“Where’s Archer?” Ivy asks, and everyone glances around, but no one knows.
I notice Mr. Bradley is also missing, and I can’t help but worry what he’ll try roping Archer into next. And if Archer feels like he’s left out in the cold, I worry that he’ll sign more papers that’ll only get him into more trouble.
We all take our plates filled with food to the dining room, the place with the table big enough to accommodate all of us, the place where we always gathered for the famous Bradley Monday night dinners.
Eventually Archer, Mr. Bradley, and another man I don’t know walk into the room with food on their plates, too. They sit at the far end of the table, and a beat of quiet passes.
Dex breaks the silence by belting out “Sweet Caroline,” Neil Diamond’s most popular song, and the rest of the family follows with “Bah-bah-bah!”
Everyone laughs, and it breaks the awkward spell. I glance across the table at Archer, and even he has a small smile playing at his lips.
“God, I miss this,” Everleigh says. “All of us together, here in this place. How long has it been?”
“Not quite long enough,” Dex cracks.
“I think the last time all seven of us sat around this table at the same time was Liam’s college graduation,” Madden says.
Archer shakes his head. “I was in season. Didn’t make it.”
Madden tilts his head and nods as he thinks back. “Then maybe Archer’s college graduation? That would put it at…Jesus, like six years ago? That can’t be right.”
It probably is right. Archer is in season when the rest of the pro athletes are out, so to get all of them gathered around this very table would’ve taken either a miracle or a catastrophic event…like losing their mother, for example.
“I think it is,” Ivy says quietly. “You all got busy once you went pro.”
Everyone glances at her. She would’ve been fifteen back then, and it was my college graduation, too. I remember how boy crazy Ivy was back then, and I remember her trying to kiss one of Archer’s buddies who was a full seven years older than her.