CHAPTER 35 Tatum Barker
The Right Investment
“You’re sure about this?” Kenzie asks. It’s just the two of us left here. Cody went to the hotel to check in, and Cole and Ford walked Ms. Winston out and headed their separate ways.
Kenzie’s kids are with her parents back in Vegas, and she and Cody were all too eager to take a New Year’s Eve trip for themselves while helping me out here in Tampa.
I nod. “Look at this place,” I say, spreading my hands out. “It’s mine basically for free provided I do this one thing.”
“What about Archer?” she whispers.
I glance away from her. “I saw him last week when I went back for their mother’s funeral.”
“And?”
“And it was…weird. But my heart landed squarely with Ford.”
“And you’re sure you want all this?”
The wedding-planning optimist in me has zero inclination to walk away now. I can’t even imagine it.
I know she’s talking about the venue and the wedding rather than the man, but I twist it anyway.
“Of course I want this, Kenz. I wouldn’t be getting married if I didn’t think there was a chance it would last. How romantic, right?
We’ve known each other for years, and we’re falling for each other, and I was just with the wrong brother all those years. ”
“What if you weren’t?” she asks.
“Look, I’ve seen this before. I’m a wedding planner.
I’ve seen it all at this point. Most brides get nervous before they get married.
Most grooms do, too. Even the ones who are absolutely certain.
There’s still that little asshole in the back of their minds picking away, planting seeds to make them question whether what they’re doing is right.
And you know what I tell them? To trust their gut. The gut is almost never wrong.”
“And what’s your gut telling you?” she presses.
“My gut is telling me to do this.”
She nods. “Great, then. But if you need to talk through any of it, you know I’m here.”
I lean in and give her a quick hug. “I know, and I appreciate you so much.”
“I’m not just the matron of honor. I’m here for whatever you need.”
I first met Kenzie when I planned her wedding to Cody a little over four years ago. I was there for her, too. Even she of the perfect family had chilly feet the morning of her wedding.
I remind her of that. “You were nervous, too. Remember? But your gut told you it was right, and now you’re glowing with happiness.”
She nods, and she snags her bottom lip between her teeth as she walks over to the windows, staring out at the gorgeous view of the water.
“Kenz?”
She sighs heavily. “It’s not perfect, you know.”
“What’s not?”
“My life. There are days when the kids are bonkers and Cody is pissing me off, and I just want to pack up and run away from it all. Toward someone like that Cole Andrews.”
“Would you?” I ask.
“Run?” she asks, and I nod. She shakes her head. “No. Of course not. But even when it’s right, it’s not perfect. It’s not easy. So I can’t imagine how much harder it would be if it wasn’t right from the start. You get me?”
I nod as I glance down at the floor. Yeah, I get the message loud and clear.
But it’s not going to stop me.
I stay at the same hotel as Kenzie and Cody, just in my own room. We have an entire spa day planned here at the hotel while Ford attends practice and gets ready at home for our sunset wedding.
I’m not surprised when my phone rings just as I slip beneath the sheets and find it’s Ford calling.
“Hi,” I answer.
“Hi.”
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. You?”
“Yeah. Kenzie was trying to talk me out of this, I think. Or at least, like, force me to examine why we’re doing this.”
“Why are we doing it?” he asks softly.
“At first, it was because of the money.”
“And now?”
I sigh. “And now…it’s more.”
“Is it love?”
I’m quiet a long time as I contemplate that.
We haven’t even slept together, but I have these enormous feelings for Ford.
They started as friendship. We have a solid base.
We can talk about anything. We can laugh together.
We’ve had a few intimate, sexy moments together that tell me the vibe is right there.
And the man can kiss. Holy hell, can he kiss.
So good that just the thought of his mouth on mine has my toes curling.
But is it love?
“I think it is,” I finally whisper.
“But you also love someone else,” he says flatly.
“Of course I do. Those feelings don’t just go away.”
“Yeah,” he mutters, and I think he’s tried fighting his feelings for me for longer than he’s ever admitted to me. “We can’t help who we fall for.”
“What if I love two men?” I ask quietly. Two men who just happen to be brothers.
“Then you choose one. And I hope you choose me, Tate.”
I feel the heat of tears pinch behind my eyes. I want to choose him, and marrying him tomorrow will be a big outward sign to the world that I am.
But first, he deserves the inward sign between the two of us.
“I do,” I whisper. “I choose you.”
He lets out a breath of relief. “Don’t change your mind.”
“I won’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I love you,” he says softly. It’s the first time he’s said those words to me, and my heart fills.
“I love you, too.” I do. I’m sure of it. I just hope it’s the intimate kind of love you have for the man you’re marrying and not just the love between two friends who can’t live without each other.