Chapter 20 Saffron
SAFFRON
My hands shook as I slammed my bedroom door hard enough that the frame rattled. I pressed my back against the wood and slid down until I sat on the floor with my knees tight to my chest.
Snapper had lied to me. Kept secrets. And with my sister.
The thought made bile rise in my throat. I’d let him in past every wall I built. I’d fallen in love with him, and he’d been hiding things from me the entire time. My chest felt like someone had reached in and tugged at my heart.
How could he do this? How could Felicity keep their relationship from me? Maybe before he and I were involved, there was no reason for me to know, but my sister knew I was in love with him. How could she say it doesn’t matter now? That there was no reason for me to find out?
My phone sat on the nightstand where I’d left it. No messages. Not that I’d expected any. I’d told Snapper to leave, and he had.
A knock sounded at my door.
“Go away.”
“We need to talk.” Felicity’s voice filtered through the wood.
“I said go away.”
The door opened anyway. Of course it did. My sister had never been good at respecting my boundaries or—apparently—telling me the truth.
I whirled on her. “You want to talk? Fine. Let’s talk about you and Snapper.”
Felicity stood on the threshold. Her face went pale, and her eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb with me.” I crossed my arms over my chest because it was the only way to keep myself from coming apart at the seams. “Isabel told me about the two of you. She said if I wanted to know what kind of man Snapper really was, I should ask you about your relationship with him.”
“Relationship? Saffron, what relationship?”
“The one you had before Wagner. The one you never told me about.” My eyes stung, but I blinked the sensation away. “How could you not tell me? You’re my sister. We tell each other everything.”
Felicity moved into the room and closed the door behind her. She rested against it the same way I had moments ago. “Saffron, listen to me very closely. I was never involved with Snapper. Not ever. Not even close.”
“But Isabel said—”
“Isabel lied,” Felicity snapped. “That man has been crazy about you since we were teenagers. Everyone knows it. Everyone except you.” She pushed away from the door and sat on the edge of my bed.
“I would never lie to you. Never. And I sure as hell would never get involved with a man my sister was in love with.”
I absorbed what she said, but it felt disconnected from reality. “I’m not—I mean, I wasn’t—”
“You’ve been in love with him for years, Saff. Just like he’s been in love with you. Whatever Isabel told you was poison meant to make you doubt him. Don’t let her win.”
I resumed pacing. “But I heard you. Downstairs. You and Snapper were talking, and you said I didn’t need to know. That there was no reason I ever had to know.”
Felicity’s expression shifted to recognition. “Oh, honey. That wasn’t about us. That was about something else.”
“What?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. She looked toward the door like she was making a decision. “I need to tell you something. But I think Mom and Dad should hear it too.”
Dread settled in my gut like a stone.
“Just—wait here. I’ll be right back.”
She disappeared into the hallway before I could argue. I heard her footsteps on the stairs, then muffled voices below. A minute later, footsteps again. Multiple sets this time.
My parents appeared in the doorway with Felicity. My mother’s face was lined with concern, and my father looked confused.
“What’s going on?” Dad asked.
My sister moved past them into the room. “Isaac Brennan stopped by this afternoon while you were all out.”
My dad’s eyes opened wide.
“You know I dated him in high school. Anyway, he works at the bank now. In the loan department.” Felicity’s gaze moved to our father. “He came to see you, but since you weren’t home, he talked to me instead.”
“What did he want?” Dad asked.
“To let you know the bank is extending the deadline on the foreclosure.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because they heard about the Christmas Blessing Wine and the upcoming auction. And because, as he said, ‘Salazar Avila had committed to cover any shortfall.’”
I gripped the edge of my dresser. “He did what?”
“Snapper went to the bank. He made a deal with Isaac. If the wine didn’t work out and for whatever reason there wasn’t enough money to cover the debt—Snapper guaranteed he’d cover the difference.”
Air refused to fill my lungs properly. My thoughts scattered in a dozen directions.
“He was going to pay off our family’s debt?” The question came out as a whisper. “Without telling me?”
“Without telling any of us,” my dad added. “Not unlike you, Saffron.”
His words stung, but I knew he was right. I was angry with Snapper for doing the same thing I had.
“That’s what we were talking about downstairs.
” When Felicity patted the bed beside her and held out her hand, I sat down.
“I told him about Isaac’s visit and thanked him for offering to help our family.
He said he thought he should tell you, and I convinced him there was no reason to.
If there’s anyone you should be angry with, it’s me, not him. ”
“I was so awful to him…”
“Go to him.” My mother sat on my other side. “Apologize.”
“What if he won’t listen?”
Felicity gripped my hand. “He’ll listen. Believe me.”
But I couldn’t go. Not yet. Not when my mind was still spinning and my heart was still racing and everything I thought I knew had just been turned inside out.
“I need time to think,” I said.
My parents and Felicity exchanged glances, but they didn’t argue. They left one by one until I was alone again in my room with the weight of what I’d learned pressing down on my chest.
I lay down and stared at the ceiling. The house had gone quiet. Everyone else had retreated to their rooms or to bed. Outside my window, the night was dark and still, and my mind wouldn’t stop racing.
Isabel had lied. She’d planted doubt in my head, and I’d let it grow.
I’d let it poison my thoughts until I couldn’t see the truth that was right in front of me.
Snapper had never been involved with Felicity.
The idea was absurd. Felicity would’ve told me.
And even if she hadn’t, I would’ve known. I would’ve seen them together.
And God, Snapper had been showing me how he felt for months. Years, maybe.
I should have had the guts to ask them both directly.
While the arrangement he made with the bank was different, he’d still gone behind my back.
My first instinct was to be angry about it.
To feel like he’d overstepped or tried to control things he had no right to.
He’d made a financial commitment without telling me or my family.
Both he and the people at the bank were wrong for doing that.
On some level, it was probably illegal, not that that kind of thing always mattered in a small, tight-knit town.
If it had gotten as far as foreclosure, then my parents would’ve had to be notified, obviously.
But what he’d done had been out of love. Because he couldn’t stand the thought of us losing everything. Because he wanted to give me a safety net even if I never knew it existed.
It was stupid and overprotective and exactly the kind of thing someone did when they loved another person so much they couldn’t help themselves.
I rolled onto my side and got in the fetal position. The memory of Thanksgiving came flooding back. We’d been at Felicity’s house. In the guest room. In bed together after making love.
“Saffron, I love—” he’d started.
And I’d kissed him. Cut him off before he could finish. Because I hadn’t been ready to hear it, say it back, or admit that what we had was real and permanent.
But even then, he’d been showing me in actions since October. Finding the formula with me. Convincing his family to help. Harvesting the grapes side by side. Making the wine. Holding me when fear and doubt crept in. All of it had been out of love.
And what had I done? I’d kicked him out. Told him to leave. Refused to let him tell his side of the story.
Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks and soaked into my pillow. I’d been so scared of needing him. So terrified of depending on someone else. So convinced that letting him in would make me weak.
But needing someone didn’t make me weak. It made me human.
I reached for my phone on the nightstand. It was after midnight. I couldn’t call him now. What I needed to say should be done in person anyway. I closed my eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. Three in the morning came and went. Then four.
Around five, I gave up trying to sleep. I sat up in bed and grabbed my phone again.
Still nothing from Snapper. Not that I’d expected there to be.
I threw back the covers and stood. My legs felt shaky, but I went to my closet and put on jeans and a sweater, then to the bathroom where I ran a comb through my hair, washed my face, and brushed my teeth.
In the mirror, I looked like hell. My eyes were red and swollen. My face was pale. But it didn’t matter.
I grabbed my keys and my phone and crept downstairs, thankful that the house was quiet and everyone was still asleep.
Outside, the air was cold enough to make me shiver. The horizon showed the first hints of dawn, but darkness still claimed most of the sky. I climbed into my truck and started the engine.
I knew Snapper would be at his mother’s house rather than his own since he’d told me it was tradition for the whole family to stay on the estate and wake up together on Christmas morning.
I also knew that if she wasn’t awake already, Lucia would soon be in the kitchen, making breakfast. If she didn’t know already, I’d tell her that Snapper and I had had a falling out and ask to speak with him.
No doubt she’d take me up to his room herself.