RideDie
ten
I’m not a cuddler, by any means, but laying here with this man after the most mind-blowing sex of my life, feels like peace on earth. Like nothing could ruin the dopamine flooding my veins. Like I’m a person who is lovable and deserves to be cherished. Like maybe I don’t want to start a spinster club with Kate as my platonic partner. Maybe I could eventually find someone and settle down.
Not this someone, not right now, anyway. I’m not a psycho or anything. I’m not planning a wedding with someone I just met. That would be certifiable.
But the smile that won’t leave my face and the way he is gently running his fingers through my hair makes me think that I could see him in my future. Being my person.
That’s the last of my thoughts as I drift off to sleep. Even when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was almost shocked to see Charlie still wrapped around me. I don’t know why I halfway expected him to sneak out after I fell asleep. Guess he’s not a one night kind of guy.
I have to end this spiral before it gets too far; I need to get up and get ready for the day. There are several errands that need to be taken care of today. Kate and I have plans to go on a trail ride this weekend, so a shopping trip for essentials is a must. Essentials meaning snacks that look like a teenager was given a hundred bucks and told to go nuts in the junk food aisle.
We roll out of bed and quickly shower together, still making time for him to use the shower head along with his glorious mouth to get me off twice before ten a.m. Talk about a way to wake up. I could get used to this, though saying goodbye to him was more difficult than it should have been, honestly. I couldn’t stop thinking about not talking to him for two days. There’s not much cell reception where we’re going to be camping.
I’ll have to top off my clients before we leave. Their contributions will help replenish my bank account from the splurging Kate and I tend to do when we go out. Plus, we haven’t been able to go out in forever, so I feel deserving of a good time, sans consequence.
Kate made a fresh pot of coffee this morning, same as a few days ago, which is plain strange coming from her. She’s the type who usually sleeps in until I wake her up around noon, letting me hog all the hot water without worry of affecting her. Maybe that’s partly why we make such great roommates. Our differences align perfectly enough to remain beneficial.
She’s sitting at the table scrolling on her phone, quietly humming to herself, and now I know something is going on. Kate is one of the worst morning people I’ve ever met. Her grumpy ass takes at least an hour and a few cups of coffee to be personable.
“Alright, spill it. Who are you fucking?”
The coffee almost reappears from her mouth to the table in her unguarded moment of shock. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb, bitch. I know something is up. You’re awake before lunch. You’re making coffee, feeding the animals, and you’re fucking humming. Who is it?”
“I just found a good fuck buddy. Nothing to write home about. That’s all.” Like hell it’s nothing to write home about. We’re not people who keep details from each other. I usually have to hear about her wild sexcapades whether I want to or not. Now I know something is up.
“Sure,” I give her a look that says I know she’s full of shit. “It seems like more than a good lay that’s got you all upbeat.”
“That’s all he is right now. Maybe later it’ll become more, but he’s supposed to be off limits, so who the hell knows, really?”
“Well, I’m even more curious now, but fine. Keep your secrets. I’ll just be here. Keeping my own secrets as leverage. Sexy, juicy details about the bulldozer of a man who just left my bed. In the morning. After we slept all night…”
“You fox! I knew he stayed the night! When’s the wedding?” She laughs as she slaps the table.
“Nope. No details until you spill your guts. I need answers, too, though I do have my own suspicions.”
“Fine. I still can’t tell you though. It’s better if you can deny knowing about it anyway.”
“Oh, you dirty slut! It’s David, isn’t it?? Isn’t it?? Tell me!!”
Silence deafens the room around us as she just stares at me, blank faced, bringing her coffee to her lips and looking guilty as fuck.
David has always had a thing for Kate, but he’s quite a bit older than us. I’ve actually never seen him with a woman before. Rumors have circulated that he married young, but she ran off with his brother not even six months in. I wouldn’t put it past Kate to go for it with her string of bad luck with guys our own age. She has a tendency to go for the assholes who only care about getting their dicks wet for twenty seconds, moving on to the next unfortunate woman sure to be left unsatisfied. Good for her if it is David. He seems like a nice enough guy, but if he hurts her, I’ll kill him.
“Come on. We have lots to do today.” She jumps up from the table to take her mug to the sink.
“Way to deflect. That’s fine. I’ll get it out of you eventually.”
“Where do you want to go first?”
“The feed store would be the best place to start, I think. That way we can take our time without worrying about cold items in the car. What do you think?”
“Sounds like a plan. Let’s get it.”
Jamming out to our favorite hits and having a private dance party in the car are some of our favorite things to do together. There’s just something therapeutic about acting silly with your friend. No judgement.
Several hours and a couple hundred dollars of unnecessary shit later, we’re loading up the horses and their tack. Kate and I actually became friends in school because we both loved horses, so taking time out of our mundane lives to ride together is something that I hope we always get to do.
We’re only going for two nights, then we have to come back to real life, though it might not be so bad coming back to Charlie.
When we pull up to the campground, it’s not packed to the brim yet, so we find a nice spot to park and build our little home away from home for the weekend. The amount of serotonin already flowing through my veins at the promise of a peaceful time with my best girl and my best friend is exhilarating. I can’t wait to get this party started. I have missed my Sasha girl so much recently.
Sasha is a brown and white paint horse that Grams bought for me when I was about ten. She instantly became the best part of my life. We ran barrels together and escaped into the woods behind the house when life became too much.
She’s got a spicy attitude, and it takes an experienced rider to keep her in line, though I never had any issues with her. Maybe she could feel that we’ve always been kindred spirits.
Leading her out of the hauler, I take her to the stall and get her settled in for the night. I give her some hay, grain, and an Oreo as a special treat. Grams used to get so irritated with me when I did that.
“You’re going to give her diabetes. The poor girl,” she’d chastise.
Thinking of her brings a small smile to my lips. I try not to think of her often because I can’t shoulder the pain for long. She was my entire world, and when she pops into my head, it’s usually the shell of her that I cared for until her end. I suppose that’s why I don’t like to revisit the past if I can help it.
“Hey, no tears. This is supposed to be a fun girls’ trip,” Kate encourages from Bully’s stall next door. I offer her a nod and a smile.
“You’re right. No tears.”
Bully is Kate’s solid black stud who is the same age as Sasha. She’s had him just as long as I’ve had Sasha. Our animals have been through everything with us. They’re getting up in age but still act like foals most of the time. I can remember training the hard-headed little things. Kate and I would switch houses every day after school to work with both horses equally. Eventually, we had two incredible animals to get into trouble with, and we definitely did.
Kate’s parents didn’t live but a half mile down the road, so we would sneak out at night, taking the horses on joy rides beneath the glistening moon. When we became teenagers, we would ride up to the football players’ bonfires after a Friday night win. Most times, a plethora of alcohol was involved as well. We used the horses to avoid getting any DUI’s. Worked like a charm.
“I think they’ll be good for the night. You ready?”
“Yeah, I’m ready; I need a drink.” I follow Kate’s lead up to the camper.
Fully equipped for a good night, we make our way to the center of the campground where we’re sure to find a bonfire raging, music blaring, and cards playing.
This particular trail ride is an annual thing that Kate and I used to attend every year before college and life got in the way. This is our first year back, but we don’t miss a beat, slipping in with old friends like no time has passed at all.
After a few games of glow-in-the-dark Texas Hold Em and UnoFlip, the familiar beat of mine and Kate’s song comes over the portable speaker somewhere closer to the fire. Her excited shrill fills my ears.
“Let’s fucking dance, bitch!”
She doesn’t give me a second to respond before I’m being launched from my seat and pulled toward the fire. The beat to the song “Low” by Flo-Rida takes over the entire campground, people hooping and hollering with excitement as a massive dance party commences.
You’d think that a bunch of hick-ass horse people would be jamming to some Hank Williams Sr, and we do, but who can resist the epic era of 2000s hip hop? No one that’s here now if the backwoods rave going on is any indication.
Kate is a natural born dancer, so she attracts the attention of the crowd almost instantly. I have a few moves, but I’m happy to back up and give her the spotlight. The crowd gives her a wide berth to show out, forming a circle around her as she does her thing.
I’m cheering her on from the front row, screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. The multiple drinks I’ve consumed add to the euphoria I’m running on. I can feel the heat burning my cheeks, letting me know that I need to slow down on the drinks for a bit.
There’s roughly sixty people here, all dancing and having a great time, but I can feel a hand on my shoulder as I turn my head to see who it belongs to, though I already have a sneaking suspicion. His hand finds its way to my waist as his mouth grazes my ear to greet me in a low growl.
“Hey, stranger.”
Brad and I used to hook up here every year in high school, but I haven’t talked to him in years. I know what he wants, and he’s fun. But my mind immediately goes to Charlie. We haven’t had the exclusivity talk, yet my stomach rolls at the thought of fucking things up with him.
It’s this thought that makes me turn full circle to face Brad and remove his hands from my waist, beginning to weave through the crowd to get somewhere quieter. “Hey, Brad. No hard feelings or anything, but we won’t be hanging out this time.”
“Why not? You got a man now?” He sounds almost offended at the thought.
“Yes, I do.”
“Where is he?”
“That’s not really your business, is it? I’m sure you can find someone else to keep you company tonight. I’m going back to have fun with Kate.”
“I don’t want someone else. Your pictures have been driving me crazy for too long. I miss the real thing.” This gets my attention for all the wrong reasons. I’ve never sent him any pictures before. Even when we were messing around, it was truly just sex.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m your biggest fan, baby. Who do you think is buying all of your content? I’m BigRick24.”
I can’t keep a poker face. I’m completely dumbfounded. What the fuck? How is that possible? I’ve seen pictures of Rick on his profile.
“Excuse me?”
He’s getting closer now, trying to pin me against the shower building, but I’m smarter than that. I turn the opposite direction, keeping my options open. I’ve known Brad forever; he’s just a couple years older than me, but I’m getting such a bad feeling right now that I trust nothing. I need to get back into the crowd.
“Is that such a surprise? I’ve always felt very strongly about you, Haedyn.”
“So you felt it was necessary to make a fake account to buy my pictures? That makes perfect sense.” I really shouldn’t antagonize him, but I don’t know what else to do to keep control over myself.
“I actually found your account by accident, from my real profile. But I knew you wouldn’t take well to me buying them from there, so I made a new one that wouldn’t scare you off until I could see you and explain.”
“Do you hear yourself? Why wouldn’t you just fucking ask me out like a normal person if you wanted to be with me? You would’ve had much better luck that way.”
“Would I though? Because you ghosted me. We hooked up every year for four years, then you just vanished. I thought we could really be something after you graduated.”
“You know damn well that what we had was a good time and nothing more. This is wrong on so many levels, and I’m done with this conversation. I won’t say anything, but please leave me alone.”
I turn to go back to the fire, but he grabs my wrist, pushing me against the hard brick wall that makes up the outside of the shower building I was trying to avoid.
“You don’t even have a man, do you? You just said that to keep me away. Guess what, though? I don’t really care if you think you have a man. I’m the only one that’s going to get to keep you. You’re mine, and you have been since the first time you let me inside you.”
I’m starting to panic. What the hell is he trying to accomplish here? Surely he wouldn’t force himself on me out here in the open. Right? I don’t understand what changed between the last time I saw him and now. He was never like this toward me before. A little douchey, yeah, but never obsessive or forceful. Just my luck that I got involved with a damn psychopath.
Willing myself to keep my head, I try to think of a plan. I need to get the fuck away from him before he really hurts me. I can hope all day long that he wouldn’t take things that far, but going by what he’s already said and done, I’d rather be safe than sorry. Think, think, think. I don’t have anything on me to hit him with, and I’m too far away for anyone to hear me scream over the music and chatter by the fire.
A refresher on those self-defense classes would be great. Why can’t I remember? There’s a fog over my thoughts, keeping all the important shit hidden from me. I do remember learning that the palm of your hand is deadly when forced against someone’s nose. If you can’t manage that, throw some elbows. They’re hard as hell and do a lot of damage. Cheap shots are life savers. Don’t be afraid to nail a guy in the balls to get away. Chances are if he’s willing to hurt you that way, he doesn’t need to use them in the future anyway.
Okay. Plan my attack first. Then escape. Attack and escape. I can do this. I can do this. I will not be a victim. He doesn’t win. God, I’m so scared. My heart is hammering against my temples. The blood rushing through me is audible in timed whooshes. Breathe. In. Out. This panic is temporary. I can overcome it. Even though the feel of his hands on me flips my stomach, I have to see past it. It’s just until I have a plan. Let him think he has me where he wants me and then make my move.
He manages to get one of his hands down the front of my jeans, impaling me on his finger while pressing his free arm against the hollow of my throat, pinning me to the cold brick behind me. The burn of my drink threatens to explode from my mouth, but I swallow it down, biding my time. He removes the pressure from my throat long enough to throw open his pants. God, the way his dick is already hard against my thigh makes me want to retreat into myself, to that dark place I would go when my parents would fight. Where I can’t feel or hear anything going on around me. At least then, I wouldn’t have to be here with him. I could just wait it out and see what happens afterward.
When he crushes his mouth to mine with his eyes closed, I strike, snapping myself out of the fog threatening to take hold of my entire being. My knee meets his balls, which are hanging against the teeth of his zipper, and my elbow greets the side of his face with a loud crack. His hands release me as he reaches for his junk, bending at the waist and spewing curses at me on his way to the ground.
I don’t have time to process his words or rejoice in my small victory, though. I’m running back to the bonfire, looking for Kate. By the time I get to her, I’m out of breath and holding back tears. My limbs are noodles, tingling without reprieve, hot and cold simultaneously.
“I need to get out of here. Now.” She takes one look at me, and she knows. Her eyes widen slightly, but she doesn’t let anything else through her iron shield. She simply takes my hand and turns to walk me back to our campsite.
“Say less, let’s go.”
We remain holding hands as we run back to our camper and lock the door, and that’s where I fall apart. The tears flood my face, and my breaths are labored and shallow. I’m going to puke; I can feel it. I run to the trash can and it feels like forever before the world stops spinning and my stomach is completely empty.
“What happened?” Kate pins my hair up and starts rubbing my back.
“Brad happened, but I told him to leave me alone. He completely flipped out on me. He’s been buying all of my content under a fake profile, Kate. He thinks he owns me now. What do I do?”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
In this moment, I believe her; her eyes are flooded with murder.
“You can’t kill him, Kate. He didn’t get to finish what he started before I knocked the hell out of him. Nobody will believe me. You know that we’ve been together before. He’ll use it against me, say that I wanted it just like in the past.”
“This son of a bitch tried to force himself on you? Oh, hell no. Absolutely not.”
She picks up her phone and dials, though I haven’t the slightest idea who she might be calling.
“Yes, I’d like to report a sexual assault, please.”
I jump up and try to grab the phone from her. Reporting this to the police is the last thing I want to do. It’s only going to piss him off. She climbs up on the couch to keep the phone out of my reach. Smart for her because I’ve exhausted all my strength for the foreseeable future.
“We’re doing this, Hae. I’ll stand by you the whole time.”
My gut is telling me not to go along with this, but I trust Kate with my life. I also don’t think my mind is as reliable as it should be right now.