Twenty-Five
T WENTY - F IVE
ESTRELLA
“Daughter,” I whispered, stumbling back from her. It wasn’t a question, not in truth, because I’d already not dared to admit that the possibility was there. She looked so much like me, with the same eyes and similar mannerisms that seemed impossible given I hadn’t spent time with her to commit them to learned behavior.
She let me go, leaving me to pry at the snake that had embedded its teeth within my skin. It didn’t release, as if it was a part of me now. I fell back, landing on my ass and wincing as the burn of venom flooding my veins centered in my palms.
The dirt beneath me hardened, the grains turning to pebbles as I forced myself to my feet and stared down at it in shock. I stumbled to the side, confusion lacing my vision as I looked back and forth between my palms and Medusa, desperately trying to make sense of what had happened. Had she been the one to turn the sand to stone, or had I?
I tripped, catching myself at the last minute. The weight of something moved within the tiny pocket in my scaled trousers, forcing me to reach down and touch it on instinct. The armor didn’t react to my touch, giving me a brief moment of reprieve in the feelings of horror washing over me.
I reached into my pocket, my fingertips brushing against the velvet satchel I’d nearly forgotten Imelda had given me. The soft fabric shifted at my touch, changing to hardened stone before I could pull it free. The stone was beautiful, rather than the pebbles I’d left at my feet, a translucent amber with the herbs she must have given me for my journey trapped within its shell.
My hands trembled at my sides, the implications of what my touch had done forcing me not to even look at Fenrir.
Gods.
“Estrella, look at me,” Medusa said, stepping up in front of me. She took my hands in hers, the gentle touch doing nothing to soothe me.
What if I couldn’t touch anything without turning it to stone?
What if I could never look Caldris in the eye?
“What have you done?” I asked, shaking my head from side to side. She’d done to me what had been done to her, the reality of that fate making me murderous.
“You can control it,” she said, releasing my hands to grasp my face. She forced me to meet her gaze, holding my stare as she leaned forward and touched her forehead to mine. The snakes around her head slithered over mine, brushing against my face and inhaling the scent of my hair.
Badb stepped forward, keeping her eyes averted as she held out her hand for me to take. I shook my head, unwilling to risk adding to the garden of stones that lingered behind the Gorgons. “You are more than the power that you possess,” Badb said, crossing the distance between us.
She wrapped her fingers around my wrist, stilling as her fingers turned to stone where they touched me. I drew in a deep breath, willing the stone to retreat back into my body.
I wouldn’t let her become a statue of the past, not because of me.
It burned as it seared my skin, turning my forearm gray with the flash of rock that passed over me. It faded into my flesh, making me feel heavy for a moment before it disappeared. Badb raised her gaze to meet mine, her chest failing to rise and fall with breath as she waited for the sure fate that my eye contact would leave her with.
“Why would you do that to me?” I asked, backing away from Medusa.
She tipped her head to the side, a look of confusion crossing over her face. “I only gave you what you asked for.”
“I didn’t know it would make me—”
“A Gorgon?” she asked, taking a step back as Fenrir moved toward me. He nuzzled against my arm, using his massive head to nudge my hand until I had no choice but to pet him. “You are not a Gorgon, Esstrella. You merely possessss the blood of one. The other half of your heritage is far more potent.”
“So if I give Mab this snake, it won’t give her the ability to turn her victims to stone?” I asked, waiting for her response.
“No. She does not possessss the blood of the Gorgon. The ssnake will do nothing for her but drive her further on her path to madness. No matter what she believesss it will do,” Medusa answered. Fenrir and the wolves moved on, walking in the direction of the next river as the Morrigan followed behind them. It left me with no choice but to take up pace beside Medusa, beside my mother, as she walked behind them. The other Gorgons strolled behind us, their bodies and faces alert as they scoured the land for threats.
Somehow, I didn’t think I’d be at risk of dying between trials any longer.
“The cursed stone,” I said, realizing that the face of the woman I’d seen in it was so similar to the breathtaking face of my mother . I had a mother waiting for me, one who was probably confused and terrified in the Winter Court, while I stood face-to-face with a woman who also held the same title. It was disorienting, at best, nauseating at worst. “It was yours,” I added, forcing myself to focus in on the conversation and the answers I could gain from it.
“I created it yesss; your father imbued it with his power. He’d intended for it to be yourss one day, but we struggled to conceive. He’d ssired his children with Hemera a few years before we met, but we struggled greatly. The Primordials bear offspring easily, but it is not sso easy for Gorgonss. It took us centuries, much like it would for a Fae couple after the curse,” she explained, her voice like the softest melody. I wondered if she’d have read me bedtime stories in that same voice in a different life, instantly feeling guilty because I had a mother who had done that. “We didn’t anticipate the sstruggle. We expected it to occur much more quickly because of who your father was. We should have waited to put his magic into the sstone. If we had, the dwarves never would have been able to steal it.”
“The stone was made for me?” I asked, choosing to focus on that one detail.
“Yes. Your father wanted you to have some of his magic at your disposal so that he could teach you the ways of the Primordials as you grew. It was his greatest wish to be able to share that with one of his children and raise you to be his protégé.”
“Then why didn’t he just take Mab?” I asked, watching as Medusa winced.
“He was determined that it should be our child who followed in his footsteps. He loved me enough that he didn’t want me to have to raise the child he’d sired with another woman, and Rheaghan and Mab had their mother and stepfather who loved them more than anything,” she said, sighing sadly. “To take Mab as his protégé once she ended up with the stone, he would have needed to destroy two families. He wasn’t willing to do that.”
“Instead he condemned the world to her cruelty,” I said, snapping as I thought of all that Mab had done since the stone had corrupted her.
“We failed to anticipate what my influence on the stone would do to someone who did not share my blood,” she said. “By the time she’d come to power, the Primordials had all taken a blood vow that they were done interfering in the ways of the Fae. They had long since retreated to the Cradle of Creation, leaving the living to decide their own fate.”
Macha scoffed. “Leaving the Fates to decide their fates, you mean.”
Badb glared at her sister. “We’ve wasted enough time. The Acheron waits up ahead,” she said, forcing the red-eyed third of the Morrigan to silence her opinions.
I stopped, brushing my fingers over the snake wrapped around my arm. She squirmed into my touch, the impression distinctly affectionate. “I already have what I came for,” I said, staring at the Morrigan as they turned to look at me.
Badb and Nemain exchanged a knowing look, but they never turned it on Medusa herself for fear that they would turn to stone. I wondered if the Gorgons had the same ability to only turn things to stone when they desired it, or if it was an involuntary act on their part.
“You entered into the Trial of Five Rivers,” Badb said sadly. “If you choose to leave now, you will do so without the magic you gave to Tartarus upon entry as a consequence for abandoning your quest.”
“What?” I asked, glancing back and forth between Medusa and the Morrigan. “No wonder you were willing to give me the snake. I can’t even fucking use it without leaving all my strength here, and that’s not an option if I want to defeat Mab.”
“You can. You can go back and save your mate. You will just do so as his human mate, because Tartarus and your father will accept your withdrawal as proof that you are not worthy of the gifts the Cradle has in store for you,” Medusa said. She pressed her mouth tight, her lips sealing together as if she hated the situation as much as I did. “Should you choose to return as you are now, there is a possibility that Caldris can win this fight once you complete your bond, but the only way to do so will mean murdering Mab.”
“Why would I care if she dies?” I asked, my brow furrowing as I studied Medusa. Even if the sinking pit in my stomach did feel sorry for the little girl she’d been before the stone corrupted her, that girl had been gone for centuries.
“Because that is the kind of person you are, Estrella. She is your sister, and there is a weapon that awaits you in the Cradle that will have the power to lift the curse from Mab. She would be free to be herself for the first time since childhood, and I would think that you of all people would want to free her from the prison that her own body has become,” Medusa said, the words feeling like a stern reprimand.
“I shouldn’t have to prove my worth to any of you,” I griped, stalking forward. I hated that this woman I’d never met seemed to know so much about me and my motivations, let alone that she felt like she had the ability to discipline me like a parent.
“Estrella, we both love you,” Medusa said, quickening her pace to keep up at my side. In spite of the harsh words, we continued on toward the next river, because I knew I needed that magic to help Caldris. Returning to save his life now was only a bandage on the festering wound that was Mab, when I had the ability to do something that could heal it altogether.
“What do the two of you know of love?” I scoffed, thinking of the arrogant male who had stared down at me in that arena and done nothing to help me when I’d been gored by a bull.
“We know enough of it that we sent you away to keep you safe. We sacrificed our relationship with you for your well-being,” Medusa said, her voice stern and low. The red sands beneath our feet deepened as we walked, and ahead of us I took in the fertile black sand that reminded me of the rumors of the volcano on the other coast of Nothrek.
“I might have believed that of you, if not for the fact that you’re married to Khaos. He’s the original Primordial. What could he possibly have to fear?” I asked, the words giving me pause.
Either both my parents were truly incapable of love as the Morrigan believed, or they’d found a way to love one another despite the rules of nature. The Primordials didn’t feel; they didn’t care about anything but themselves.
“Somebody allowed those dwarves entry to the Cradle,” she said, her voice melancholy as she considered the betrayal. “Someone we trusted allowed the dwarves to raid our home and take anything of value. We never discovered who was responsible, and the fear that they would return and take you was crippling.”
“Why would anyone care about me? I’m just another child of the Primordials. They have more than they know what to do with,” I said, thinking back to the number of Gods that had once plagued Nothrek. Gods were the children of two Primordials. The children the Primordials sired with something else took different forms, shaping the various creatures and Lliadhe who existed in both our realms.
“You’re not just another child of a Primordial, Estrella,” Medusa said, reaching down to scoop a handful of black sand into her hand. We came upon the Acheron river more quickly than I’d expected, the sight of the glowing green water in the distance making me shift my weight nervously.
Where the Styx had been a raging river, the Acheron was still. There was no movement on the surface of the water as it set in the wide canal it called home, no current to speak of.
“Then what am I?” I snapped, tired of the evasive answers. I doubted Khaos had bound her to secrecy in the way he had the Morrigan, but even still she didn’t outright say what I was to them.
Why he’d placed his magic in the stone.
“You are our daughter ,” she said, turning to face me. Those snakes on her head stretched toward me, and I couldn’t resist the urge to reach up with a single hand so that they could wrap around my finger and hug it.
“And Mab is also his daughter, is she not?” I asked.
“It’s not the same,” she said, shaking her head. “Everyone knows he has no love for his other children. They were created purely out of a need to populate the realm at a time when there weren’t many living souls, when he was still bleeding from the betrayal of his first wife. But you were conceived in love, Estrella. Our intention was always to raise you ourselves, but after I got pregnant, he became more paranoid than ever. Mab was seeking out her other siblings and killing them, collecting the heads of the Gods as trophies. He fell asleep seeing that fate for you every night, and we knew it was only a matter of time before the rumor of your birth reached her and she sent an assassin to kill you in your crib.”
“So you sent me away,” I said, resisting the burn of tears in my throat.
Whoever Khaos might have been to me, whatever kind of father he’d intended to be, there was little evidence that the man Medusa spoke of still existed. If that had been true to begin with, was it still true now? Or had the years I’d lived and grown without them to raise me hardened him?
“He loved you enough to give you up,” Medusa said, her voice sad. “As did I.”
“He might have loved me then, but no father would put the daughter he loved through these trials. He wouldn’t force me to be human while I endure—”
“There are rules that even he cannot break, Estrella. If he intervenes in your trials, he forfeits them for you. Why do you think I’m here?” Medusa asked, cocking her head to the side. “It is not a coincidence that we knew you would be in danger and came to you. It is a long journey from the Cradle. We traveled all night to get to you in time because he warned me you were in trouble.”