Thirty
T HIRTY
ESTRELLA
The platform dropped, lowering me closer to the sands beneath me. I sat suddenly, my stomach becoming weightless for a moment that lasted far too long before the platform stopped suddenly, the chains holding the scale swaying above my head as they worked to halt my descent. My gaze snapped to Melinoe on the other platform, her face carefully blank but for the victorious gleam in her eye. Her platform had risen, taking her farther from the wildcat prowling the sands beneath me and waiting for its next meal.
I glanced across the distance to the obelisk where Khaos had risen to his feet. His hands grasped the edge of the platform he’d made into his home, his fingers digging in so that the wood of the structure cracked beneath his grip.
There was a moment of panic in that gaze, of horror that I’d failed in my task as Melinoe’s golden sleep powder drifted over my head once more to drag me into another dreamscape. I held that starry gaze, seeing the same stare in his eyes that I’d seen in my childlike face as a memory even as the first hints of sleep made my upper body sway.
“Overcome your fear , Estrella,” he said, his voice dropping low. It carried across the distance to me, his eerie calm filling me as I let my upper body lie back on the platform once more. The river churned overhead as my eyes slowly drifted closed, the poisoned green of the water hiding the flames of Tartarus above.
My eyes closed finally, and my body tensed as sleep took it—preparing for the horror that would wait for me in my mind.
I woke, the grit of sand on my hands as I shifted. The leather armor I wore was wet, creaking with every movement as I got to my hands and knees and pulled myself out of the azure waters of the cove that served as the entrance to Tartarus. I scrambled along the sand, racing for the corridor that I knew would take me to Mab’s court.
To Caldris.
To my mate.
I didn’t know how I’d gotten here, how I’d managed to return without completing the trials. The snake from Medusa remained wrapped around my bicep as I moved, hurrying for the body laying upon the sand and scanning the beach for signs of any others who might have remained in this place.
Caldris’s familiar black armor was covered in sand, the grit sticking to him as the tide lapped at his legs. He didn’t move as I placed my hand on his ankle, using his boot to pull myself toward him as everything went hazy in my head.
The world around us faded from view, leaving only the sight of my mate laying still upon the sand.
Too still.
The wheeze of his breath reached me as I curled myself over him, staring down at the way his golden skin had paled. His lips were nearly blue, his hands grasping a gaping wound in his chest. He clung to the final threads of life as I shook my head, my eyes burning with shocked tears that didn’t dare to fall.
I touched a hand to his chest, covering the hole that led to the mangled mess of his heart. The snake that had once been wrapped around it slithered free, wrapping itself around my wrist with a gleam of iron teeth.
I shook it off, sending it skittering into the sands as Caldris’s blood coated my hand—staining it red like the thickest paint.
“Min asteren,” he murmured, his voice too weak. I pursed my lips together, trying to think of the words to say. Trying to figure out what I could do.
There had to be a way to save him, a way to keep him here with me even without a functioning heart.
“I don’t know what to do,” I said, the gasping sound of my voice relaying the horror I didn’t think I could feel. Shock coursed through my veins, agony like I’d never felt lingering just behind the strange numbness that tried to protect me in my final moments with the man I loved.
Because I knew in my heart that’s what this was. That Caldris would die.
That I’d failed him.
I shifted, ignoring the pained look on his face as I pulled his head into my lap and ran my fingers through his ashen silver hair. It threaded through easily, allowing me to offer just a few moments of comfort. “Just stay with me,” Caldris said, his voice weakening. His eyes began to close, but he forced them open one last time, the blue of them staring so deeply into me that I choked down a sob. “I want your face to be the last thing I see.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. You deserved a better mate, someone stronger than me,” I said, my voice breaking.
Caldris raised a single hand, his blood-covered finger touching my lips to stop me from the path my thoughts had wandered. “Don’t you dare. I’m sorry for many things, my star, but being your mate is not one of them. I’m only sorry we didn’t have more time. That I never gave you peace,” he said.
I leaned forward, touching my mouth to his gently and swallowing the sigh that he let loose. Trapping it within me, holding it for the remaining time I would have before I followed after him. “You are my peace,” I said, touching my forehead to his.
He did not sigh again, as his eyes drifted closed. His chest refused to rise again, even though I waited and watched, begging the universe to give him back to me. “Please,” I whispered, the words barely audible.
I felt the moment his soul left to make its way to the Void to wait for me. The deep, splintering crack that struck down my center seemed to cleave me in two. I jolted with the force of it, a mangled scream tearing free from my throat.
My hands shook as I wrapped Caldris in my embrace, cradling his body to my chest and rocking back and forth. My tears wet his hair, and I could not say how long I spent there waiting for death to claim me.
With our blood pact, I would follow. I felt immense gratitude for it, knowing I would only need to exist without him for a while. I couldn’t say how long, minutes, hours, or days, but my suffering had an end.
I got to my feet, staring down at my mate’s lifeless body. Reaching down, I closed his eyelids the rest of the way before I pulled one of my swords free from the strap across my back. Turning to the entrance to the cove, I met the gaze of the daemon who thought to block me from getting to its master.
From getting to the bitch Queen that I would kill with my own hands before I left this world.
His twisted, razor-sharp teeth snapped together tauntingly. The four tusks spreading off his face gleamed in the moonlight as he leaned forward, preparing to fight me.
In our last fight, I hadn’t been skilled enough in combat to not rely on my magic, but I’d spent the entirety of my time in Tartarus fighting without it. But the Estrella who had walked out of Tartarus was stronger. I was far more capable of fighting him, of killing him with my bare hands and then seeking the revenge I deserved. My eyes warmed with the swell of that beast within me, her growl rumbling in my chest as I took another step forward in spite of my fear of what she would do to me.
I’d survived the bull. I’d survived the…
I shook my head, my arms dropping at my sides with my swords still held tight as I glanced over my shoulder at Caldris’s prone form. My throat closed all over again, but I forced myself to stop.
To fucking think.
What was the second trial?
I couldn’t remember, couldn’t grasp the memory of the trial. I stared down at Caldris, forcing myself to feel past the surface of that absolute blinding agony and search for our bond. I couldn’t see the thread, but I could feel it.
It swayed in the wind as I reached out a single finger to stroke it, feeling it tickle my skin exactly where I’d thought it might be. The shimmering of its light came slowly, filling my vision until it glowed brightly.
Glowing with life.
I held out a single hand, uttering very simple words that I felt the truth of in my soul. It chased away the pain, forcing the grief away. “It isn’t real.”
My body was weightless for a moment, my feet flying off the sand as I became airborne.
And I landed on the platform once again, staring across the gap to find Melinoe’s shocked gaze upon mine.
Our platforms were even once again. Hers having dropped so that mine could rise with my victory.
Caldris was alive. And I?
I was fucking murderous.