Thirty-Four
T HIRTY - F OUR
CALDRIS
I sat, sinking my hands in the sand at my sides. There’d been no sign of Estrella since she plunged into the river while I watched, sinking beneath the green surface of the water. I watched it relentlessly, running a hand through Fenrir’s, Lupa’s, and Ylfa’s fur as they took turns trying to comfort me, while simultaneously restraining me from wandering into the depths of the river I would not survive. The ferryman lingered on his boat, hesitant to leave until he knew Estrella was alright. I was grateful for the diligence, knowing he would take me to the Void himself if she didn’t emerge.
But I felt nothing of her, no symptom of her death.
I knew in my heart I would know the moment she was gone. I would feel her soul leave this world, knowing it had taken the better part of me with it.
I didn’t want to live without her, and for that, I needed to be the one to die first. I needed to never be forced to experience a single moment without her here with me.
Fenrir nudged my arm with his snout more forcefully, making me turn my stare away from the river. I jolted to my feet, seeing the spin of gold light from within the white lines of my Fae Marks.
“Caldris,” Medusa said, closing the distance as I rose. She wrapped her hands around my arm, turning it in the light to watch the delicate shine of gold. It was just the faintest hint of a sparkle, barely noticeable if Fenrir hadn’t sensed it. The Goddesses who had introduced themselves as the Morrigan stepped closer to join us at the edge of the river.
Medusa and I watched in fascination as the faint golden light spread through the winding marks of my tattoo, filling every last space that had once been white and gleaming like the golden city of Ineburn. “What’s happening?” I asked, remembering the way the last time my marks had turned gold, I’d consumed Estrella’s blood.
But it had been days since I’d fed from her, and the sudden influx of power didn’t make sense.
“She took her power back,” Medusa said, her disbelieving grin spreading across her face as she tipped her head to the sky and laughed. The Morrigan sisters studied one another, their mouths open in shock as they too studied my arms.
“What do you mean she took it back ?” I asked, staring at the three birdlike women. They shuffled their feet uncomfortably, until finally the one with the black hair opened her mouth and answered me.
“All who enter the Trials of the Five Rivers must willingly offer their magic to Tartarus for safekeeping until they’ve completed the tasks set before them,” she said, her chin rising in defiance.
“You mean to tell me,” I said, pausing as my hands clenched into fists. Medusa gentled her arm on mine, the touch turning to something reassuring instead of urgent. “That my mate has been forced to survive Tartarus and fuck knows what kind of trials as a human?”
“You would be wise to remember your mate was raised as a human. She is no stranger to functioning without magic,” the red-eyed Morrigan answered. As if the fact that Estrella had been forced to suffer through a human existence for all this time somehow justified doing it to her again, but in a place that could kill her at any moment.
I didn’t want to consider what manner of creatures hunted under the cover of darkness in a place like this.
“What could possibly be achieved by taking away her magic? What can she prove that way?” I asked, pulling my arm back from Medusa.
“Estrella has been chosen for a fate that you cannot even begin to imagine. There is more to her future than simply having the power to do as she pleases. She must prove herself to have inner strength as much as outer strength. She must prove that she is kind, but fair, that she cannot be controlled by the human sensibilities that are undoubtedly a part of her given her upbringing,” Medusa answered, her voice quiet. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but he needs Estrella to prove who she is. Not the strength of her magic.”
I paused, studying her as my brow furrowed. “Who is he ?” I asked, staring back over the water.
“He is the origin of everything and nothing all at the same time. He is the here and now, as well as everything that came before,” she said, her words somehow making no sense even though I understood them perfectly. My throat closed, fear of the finality of the words that would relieve any doubt I’d had as to what Estrella could become. “And if he is everything that has already been, she is what has yet to come.”
“She’s the daughter of Khaos,” I said, swallowing past the implications. That would mean she was Mab’s half-sister, that she’d witnessed her half-sister murder the half-brother she’d only just begun to get to know.
“Yes and no,” Medusa said.
Badb protested, her panicked expression transforming the sharp features of her face. Her mouth drew open into something resembling a beak more than I’d seen since my arrival, but there was no doubt to who the women were.
They were legend.
Medusa silenced her with a raised palm, her stare never leaving mine. She raised her chin, her chest thrusting out with her pride. “She is more than just a daughter of Khaos. She is the daughter of Khaos,” she said, a knowing grin spreading her lips wide. “Estrella is his chosen heir. She is chaos incarnate.”
Shock forced me to take a step back from the Gorgon, my eyes widening even as I ground my teeth together. “The Primordials do not have heirs,” I said, doing everything in my power to keep my voice steady.
My eyes flashed to the ferryman where he waited atop his skiff, the golden gleam of fate shining in the eyes that stared back at me. He nodded his head once, but his mouth pressed together into a thin line.
Medusa wasn’t supposed to tell me, that much was clear based on his displeasure and Badb’s attempt to intervene. “They do now,” the Gorgon said, her voice smooth and confident in spite of the fact that she’d flipped my world upside down. “And you will not speak a word of it to Estrella.”
I rubbed my forehead, shaking my head from side to side. She was out of her mind if she thought I would keep something like this from my mate. “Why wouldn’t I tell her? Why would you tell me if she cannot know?”
“Estrella will discover the truth of her fate soon enough. Her time here is all leading her to that point, but she is not yet ready to know what the future holds for her,” Medusa said, stepping forward to cross the distance between us. She gave me a weak smile that hinted at sympathy or pity, something I hadn’t experienced often. “But I know what it is to live in the shadow of something far greater than I can ever hope to be. You have lived for centuries believing that one day you will have a human mate, a queen to sit at your side when you rule over the Winter Court. But what are the courts of Alfheimr to a woman who can move the stars and the moons themselves? Who can plunge the world into eternal darkness with a snap of her fingers? To the woman who will control the Void and all who exist in it?”
“Estrella doesn’t want all that. She just wants a simple life, something warm and comfortable, with books to keep her company,” I said, as if that changed anything.
“And since when have women with that kind of power ever been allowed to have a life of comfort? I think deep down, you have always known that she was made for more . I think you’ve always known, in your heart, exactly what she is and what she was born to be. There is a darkness in her that you’ll need to accept,” she said, the softening of her smile feeling like a double-edged sword.
“I’m the God of the Dead,” I said, returning her smile. I was no stranger to darkness and the elements of that reality that would also plague my mate.
It never failed to shock me, the influence of fate in our lives and the way every piece of who we were lined up with the path that had already been chosen for us. It was easy to forget sometimes, to pretend that we had any sway in our destiny—until reality came sweeping in and took our legs out from under us.
“ Until chaos reigns ,” Medusa said, turning to look at the river as she spoke the words that struck me straight in the heart. The words I’d spoken to my mate in love, meaning it as an impossibility to indicate I would never stop loving her.
The water rippled, something moving beneath the depths. Estrella broke through the surface, flipping her head back to splash water onto the opposite shore. Her hair was still trapped in the loose braid she wore, but stray strands had broken free, cascading around her face as she scrubbed a hand over it to wipe away the drops of water where they clung to her.
Her hands trembled as she did it, the pain of the Acheron making her quake. She didn’t make a sound as she took her first step toward us, her eyes remaining closed as she glided through the water that had brought me to my knees. I felt her magic crawl along my skin, our bond reunited as she used her power to sense her way toward the shore.
What had she suffered, what had she lived through, that the agony of that river was so tolerable to her?
Her Fae Marks glowed with golden light from within, reflecting off the water beneath her to make her look as if she was bathed in sunlight. Her hands dropped to her sides as she walked, sucking back a deep breath of air that filled her lungs.
The light pulsing off her glowed brighter, and I stared unabashedly at her as she emerged from the river. Step by step, until she was nearly to the edge of the water.
“ Min asteren ,” I said finally, taking a step toward her.
Her eyes flew open finally, forcing me to suck back a breath as I met her dark stare. Gold stars glittered at me from within the depths of black that had stolen over the green of her irises. Gone were the green eyes I’d fallen in love with, changed into something that felt more right even if I missed the innocence of the woman I’d known. There was a thin ring of green around her pupil that was a nod to that human girl I’d found in the barn, but she’d shifted and changed even in the mere days we’d been apart. The woman in front of me was crafted from darkness and something wild, a destiny written in the stars and trapped within the galaxies of her eyes.
Until chaos reigned.
“Caldris?”