Chapter 45 Camden
FORTY-FIVE
CAMDEN
I take in the old brownstone with weary eyes. My arraignment was this morning, but my lawyer says with a well-intentioned donation to the airport and an in-person apology to the bartender, along with the merch the team is getting together for me, we can get this ordeal cleaned up quickly.
The legal aspect of it, that is. None of those things can help me put out the blaze I created when I set fire to my life. I know well enough that no amount of money will fix the biggest issues.
No, it’ll take some damn good groveling and a whole lot of promises to show Savannah how sorry I am. I fucked up. Badly. I haven’t tried to call her because I don’t know what to say.
But it’s Friday. It’s been almost a week since I destroyed everything.
And I can’t go any longer without seeing her.
I’m halfway up the porch steps when a little voice stops me.
“Go away, you meanie!”
The angry expression plastered on Piper’s face as she hangs out the first-floor window is more adorable than fearsome, but I can appreciate the effort.
“Can’t do that, Pip. I need to apologize.”
The front door opens and John steps out, immediately giving his daughter a stern look. “It’s freezing. Close the window and go help your mother set the table.”
“But dad, he—”
He sighs. “I know what he did. But this is grown-up stuff. Go do what you’re told.”
Huffing, she pushes the window down, but before it touches the sill, she yells, “Make it hurt, Dad!”
I wince. Jeez.
John turns back to me. Arms crossed. Pissed off.
I hold my hands up in surrender. “Go easy on me.”
He shakes his head, the disappointment in his expression hurting more than it should. “What are you doing here?”
“Just want to talk to Sav.”
“She’s not here.” His response comes without any hesitation, making me think he’s lying.
I take a step forward, shoulders hunched against the cold. “Are you—”
He jabs me with a finger, the disappointment turning into anger.
“You were supposed to take care of her. You were supposed to be different. She was happier than I’ve ever seen her.
Told Rosalie and Pip that for the first time, she’d found someone who genuinely loved her.
” He shakes his head. “But then you broke her.”
A wave of shame washes over me. “I know.”
“No. You have no fucking idea. You weren’t there when we packed up her things. You didn’t hear the way she sobbed in the bathroom when it was time to go.”
I may not have heard that, but because of the camera above the door, I saw the devastation in her expression every time she went up and down those front steps, loading up the belongings she’d only just moved in.
He’s right. She was broken. I did that. I watched it on repeat, welcoming the pain that came with it, wishing I could take hers. Wishing I could go back in time and fix it.
But I can’t. I can be here now, though. “I just want to talk to her. Explain.” I shake my head and inhale deeply. “Apologize.”
He stares at me for a long time. So long that I squirm under his scrutiny. “Well,” he finally says, “like I told you, she’s not here.”
“Then I’ll wait here until she gets home.” I don’t for a second think they’d let me wait inside, so I shuffle to my car instead.
“You’ll be waiting all night, then,” he calls.
I whip around, frowning. “What? Why?”
He shrugs and tips his head back, sighing. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. You really fucking hurt her.”
I hustle back to the porch. “I know. And I want to fix it, John. She’s it for me.”
He huffs, his breath a white cloud in front of him. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I overheard her telling the landlord that she just needed a few more days to come up with her rent.”
The pain in my chest is back. Why wouldn’t she have enough money to cover her rent? “Okay?”
“And then she told Erin she couldn’t watch the kids last night because she had to work.”
“At Jolie? They let her work after hours?”
He shakes his head. “No idea, but when I heard a car door slam at four this morning, I looked out the window. Saw her coming in.”
“That makes no sense.”
He shrugs. “She left a little while ago. No idea where she’s going, but she said she’d be back late again.”
Unease threads its way through me as I consider the details. “I don’t like it.”
“Me neither. You have any idea where she’d be working?”
“No, but I can find out.” Quickly, I head for my car.
“Don’t make me regret telling you this,” he calls after me.
I hold up a hand, but I don’t slow. “You won’t. I promise.”
Car running and heat blasting, I pull away from the curb, headed for War’s house. Pretty sure I’m going to need his help convincing his daughter to talk to me.