Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
AMARI
STORM WITHIN
Ruby’s tough exterior melted like ice in fire as our eyes connected. As her voice rose and fell with each comment or question she asked, her breasts heaved. When her lips received her hot toddy and the liquid eased down her throat, I imagined how those wet lips would feel on top of mine.
I moved my eyes from her tempting lips to the wispy hairs at the base of her neck. Her barely there curls beneath her bun called to me, tempting me to reach for them and lay them down with my fingers before unpinning her soft, thick hair. I wondered how it would feel between my fingers.
Instead of extending my hand to touch Ruby, I held my empty glass tighter, willing my body to calm down.
“Christmases can be hard.” I changed the subject to refocus.
“I agree.” Ruby rested her glass in her lap.
She swirled the half-full glass of liquid mindlessly.
“You called me a Secret Santa, but I used to be more public facing in my generosity.”
“What happened?”
I took a big breath as I considered the story I would tell her. My life hadn’t been rosy, and it could take all night to share experiences that had me going to therapy weekly for years. Only within the last six months did I feel comfortable enough discussing a past that was often debilitating.
“See this?” I pointed to the roots of an oak tree tattooed on my upper body.
“Yes, it’s beautiful.” Ruby reached for my chest and almost touched my skin with her fingers but stopped mere inches away from it.
“You can touch it.”
Ruby carefully traced the design with her fingers, causing my breath to catch. When she was done, her eyes dropped to her lap before returning to my eyes.
“I was raised to be a generous giver. When anyone had a need, Amari Snowden was the first person they called. When my cousin couldn’t pay his medical bills, I pitched in with every dime I could spare.
Our grandfather died soon after my cousin finished treatment and left his estate to me and only me.
Several relatives got angry and expected me to break them off a piece, but I didn’t.
They were greedy in life, and Granddad had a sound mind when he passed.
I wasn’t going against his wishes. It created a rift that hasn’t been mended.
In many ways, the division in my family is my fault.
I just want to keep my wealth quiet. Money causes a lot of drama. ”
Ruby reached for my hand before squeezing it.
“Money does a lot of good when it’s sown into good ground. You’re a great person, Amari. You shouldn’t have to hide that.”
“Thank you.” I tilted my body forward and rested my hands on my knees with my legs wide. I took a deep breath and continued.
“I put on a strong face, but my divorce nearly broke me. I expected support and care I never got. Lise had a hard time getting pregnant, and Aspen was the glue that kept us together. This is the year I’ll be alone. Holidays are tough when family is supposed to bring so much joy.”
The familiar pang of sadness hit me right in the chest. Although many people didn’t know how deeply I hurt when it came to connecting with people I loved, I felt as if Ruby needed to know my history and might even understand it.
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. It’s not always easy for me to be so open, but I feel led to share it with you so you don’t get the wrong idea about me. You seem like a woman who’s trustworthy. Am I correct?”
“I’d like to think so.” Ruby clasped her fingers together and stared toward the corner of the room.
I followed her gaze. My eyes landed on a big stack of boxes labeled ‘confidential.’ When I reached for her hand, she shook herself with her lips drawn.
“You good?”
“I am.”
Her soft voice didn’t match her stormy eyes. Something wasn’t right, and those boxes probably had something to do with it.
“I don’t believe you. Do you have a secret too?” I spoke the words softly as the water heater hummed.
Ruby gave me a nervous smile. We stared at each other for what seemed like several minutes until Ruby spoke.
“I was married.”
I knew that, but I guessed there was more to her story.
“What happened to your husband?”
“He’s in Atlanta.”
Ruby’s answers were short but encouraged me since she answered my questions.
“Is he why you keep to yourself?”
She nodded.
When Ruby bit her lip, I considered stopping but wanted, no, make that needed to know what her secret was so I could support her the right way.
“Did he hurt you?”
When Ruby’s face blanched, I knew I’d pushed too much.
Whatever trauma she carried might take her to a dark place she couldn’t escape.
With the storm coming, I didn’t want her to be trapped without the resources she needed to process whatever I pulled from her.
I was about to change the subject when she spoke.
“Christmas is hard for me.”
I scooted across the love seat and put my arms around Ruby’s shoulders. When she shivered beneath me, the scent of her jasmine-scented hair met my nose. Like a flower, she was fragile and sweet.
“How can I support you? What do you need?”
Ruby leaned into me and rested her hand on my bare chest. Her warm hand and body aroused me despite my wanting to remain supportive and stoic. I instinctively lowered my lips to her hair, cradling her in my arms like a baby.
“I don’t know you.”
The words left her lips and fell into the silence, sounding thin and weak.
“I don’t need to know your story to feel your pain. Let me carry some of it for you as your friend. It’s what you need right now.”
“I’m not used to this.”
“Relax and let go. Feel what you feel.”
Ruby’s body sank deeper into mine. I rubbed her shoulder and stroked her arm down to her hand. She closed her fingers in mine and wrapped her arm around my back.
“Thank you, Amari.”
I kissed her head again.
“Anytime.”