Chapter 18
Chapter
Eighteen
RUBY
RENEWAL
About thirty minutes before I pulled into my driveway, I texted Amari my ETA.
Amari: I’m inside fixing the loose hinges on a couple of doors. Can’t wait to see you.
As I entered the Farmerton town square four days before Christmas, I took in the beauty of the eighty-foot-tall Christmas tree and the giant matching wreath with red satin ribbon that hung beneath the clock at city hall.
These decorations and the extra pep in the step of Farmerton’s citizens confirmed that our city’s favorite time of year was upon us.
From a distance, I spotted Rico, one of my most mischievous students, who skipped and hopped down the street as his mother shouted for him to wait for her.
When he saw my car, he ran back and grabbed his mother’s hand before ducking his head behind her back.
Her eyes met mine as I waited for the traffic light to turn green.
She reached behind her and tapped Rico on the shoulder.
We waved at each other before I drove away and continued my trek home.
I turned on Hot 103.8, the same station I jammed to at home.
Although one of the season’s saddest songs streamed through my speakers, I focused on the catchy rhythm of the tune, not the dreary lyrics.
I snapped my fingers in sync with the bass guitar and wiggled my body from side to side.
After the past few days with Amari, I refused to be sad.
Thoughts of my new lover filled my mind. I missed him like crazy and couldn’t believe we’d been apart only three days. I already adored him. No matter how busy he was with his work, he found time to sow good words into me and remind me how special I was to him.
Amari represented everything good about this season: joy, peace, and good cheer.
He was a giver, too, sending me a Starbucks gift card to buy coffee every morning and even paid for an Italian dinner delivery for my family from our favorite restaurant in Raleigh.
When I texted and often told him I was reading, Amari surprised me with a one-hundred-dollar card so I could buy books that satisfied my soul and spirit.
By the time I pulled into my driveway behind Amari’s truck, no devil in hell could pull me down from my high.
Life couldn’t get any better as hope filled me for the first time in years.
Even if Amari and I didn’t work out, he showed me that there was still fire in me that yearned to come out.
The light I’d carried since childhood deserved to be shared with the world.
I grabbed my bags from my trunk and hopped up the three short steps to my porch. I was glad my wool coat was thick, as the unseasonably cold weather reminded me of how warm Amari kept me during the storm.
A smile wider than Lake Erie covered my face as I stood face-to-face with a festive Christmas wreath on my door that was a miniature version the one in the town square.
It was perfect in every way as the words “Happy Holidays” hung about it in red glittery cursive letters.
Silver bells and red tinsel covered the wreath, too, reminding me of the effort I enjoyed putting into the homemade decorations I created for my students.
“What did you do?” I shook my head in disbelief, asking the question to myself, impressed at Amari’s attempt to cement his role as my personal Santa.
I opened my unlocked door and gasped as I entered my foyer. I unbuttoned my coat, removed my gloves, and dropped my bags on the floor with my mouth open. When I placed my winter weather gear in a corner, I cautiously entered the area as if it wasn’t real.
Beautiful white lights of varying lengths and sizes were hung everywhere, transforming the previously dank space into what had to be one of the coziest Christmas scenes in any home in rural Georgia.
“Amari?” I stepped deeper into my beautiful home, anxiously searching for my personal interior designer, who was nowhere to be found.
As I entered my family room, I inhaled the fresh scent of apple cinnamon and cranberries. Several lighted, glittery pine cones hung neatly above my fireplace’s mantle and drew me to the array of photos behind them.
No, he didn’t.
Tears filled my eyes as I walked toward the mantle.
A series of beautiful 4x6 photos filled the gorgeous space.
I reached for each one and touched the delicate gold trim around them.
My precious LaRue was the star in each one.
I moved from the photo of my first ultrasound to her picture in the hospital the day she was born, and finally to a serene picture of me holding LaRue in my arms as she slept in the hospital nursery.
Each photo held a precious memory that had been tucked away in a corner of my heart.
“Welcome home, baby.” Amari’s deep voice melted me like warm caramel as the sounds of Ray Charles’s and Nina Simone’s “Baby It’s Cold Outside” piped through portable speakers.
I turned to face him and stared like I’d seen a ghost.
Amari was shirtless with a candy cane in his mouth. A big velvet Santa hat sat crooked on his head as red velvet, wide-legged red and white stripes lounge pants hung low on his fit waist. I swallowed as I got a delicious peek of the “V” that disappeared below Amari’s waistband.
“Hello, Santa.” I walked toward him and held his waist before Amari removed his candy cane and kissed me with passion.
“Hey, Rubylicious.” I giggled at the cute nickname he called me when he complimented me this morning for my performance in last night’s freaky phone sex show.
“This . . .” I gestured to the mantle. “It’s amazing. When did you have time to do this? I saw some of the damage from the storm on my way here. Surely, you’ve been busy with cleanup across town.”
Amari nodded.
“My first priority is taking care of my lady.” He kissed me on my nose.
I smiled, flattered by Amari’s words but still not comfortable with them since we weren’t relationship official.
“This really is too much. But the photos are . . .” I placed my hand on my chest as my throat tightened.
He moved to the mantle and picked up the photo nearest him.
“When I searched for Christmas decorations, I found these. Your baby girl was too precious to be cooped up in a box. I want you to celebrate her at Christmas, not mourn her. She’s your Christmas angel, love. She always will be.”
I cried full tears then.
Amari wrapped his arms around me. His fresh scent enveloped me, reminding me of the warmth we shared under my blankets in the storm.
In his arms, I reflected on how I’d approached Christmas over the past few years. I’d mourned LaRue’s death more than I celebrated her life. That wasn’t fair to her. After this year, I wouldn’t do that again.
I wiped my runny nose with the handkerchief Amari pulled from his pocket.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Care for me like I want to care for you.”
His words were simple and pierced my heart.
I closed my eyes and pictured what that kind of care would look like. I saw decorating a big tree, opening presents with Amari and Aspen, and making love with Amari in front of my fireplace.
“I already care for you.” I rubbed Amari’s cheek and smiled.
He held my hand with his and kissed my lips lightly.
“What does that mean, Ruby?”
“It means that I want to explore what this”—I gestured between us—“looks like. I want us to hold hands in public and kiss under the stars after a dinner date downtown. I want to wake up to you every day, and maybe one day have a baby with you.”
I lowered my eyes to the ground, not ready to meet Amari’s eyes. Something about speaking my thoughts out loud made them so real. I was slightly overwhelmed.
Before I could regret my words, Amari reached down and lifted me by the waist so my eyes were level with his.
“This is the beginning of something new and real. I’ll go in with you one hundred percent, starting now.”
Amari set me on my feet and picked me up again, this time bridal style. I shrieked and giggled as he carried me toward the stairway, which was decorated with garland and small red bows.
“After I make love to you, we’ll decorate the tree, and you can open up your gifts.”
“But it’s not Christmas yet.”
“I don’t need to wait until Christmas to unwrap my present. You’re the gift that will keep on giving long after the season ends.”
“Promise?”
“With everything in me.”
I reached for Amari’s face and kissed him as if my life depended on it. In his arms, I received every bit of healing I didn’t know I needed. No matter how bad the days became, I now had someone in my corner who wouldn’t abandon me.
It was time for the real Ruby Starks to step out of the shadows and back into the light.